InsidePULSE’s WWE RAW Report

InsidePULSE’s WWE Raw Report 01.03.05
Live from Long Island
Announcers are JR & The King
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for InsidePULSE by PK

Show opens with a recap of the ‘Beat the Clock Night,’ and the announcement that HBK will be the guest ref for the Elimination Chamber.

Bischoff then opens the show, saying that at New Year’s Revolution, they will crown a new WWE Champion. Last week was ‘Beat the Clock,’ this week is ‘Beat Each Other.’ Batista will face Benoit, Edge will face Jericho, and Orton will face HHH.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit
Batista tosses Benoit around a bit to start. Batista with a thrust kick, but Benoit grabs on, dragon screw, then goes for the Sharpshooter, but is kicked off by Batista. Benoit then tries some chops, but Batista shrugs them off, and shoves Benoit away. Batista goes to expose the turnbuckle, but Benoit comes from behind and hits the Trifecta of German’s. Benoit goes to the top for the headbutt, but Batista rolls out of the ring. Benoit fallows, but Batista gets on him and pounds away. Back in the ring, Batista puts Benoit to the top turnbuckle, then grabs him, and lifts him up in a Fisherman’s Cradle, and drops him for 2. Batista tries a ½ crap, but Batista lets go. Batista sends Benoit off the ropes, and drills him with a clothesline for 2. Benoit takes control with another German, then hits the swandive headbutt for 2. Batista goes for a clothesline, but Benoit locks on the Crossface. Batista endures it, lifts Benoit up in a Samoan Drop position, and snake eyes Benoit on the exposed turnbuckle. Batista then hits a Demon Bomb for the win.
Winner – Batista

Commercials.

Flair raving to HHH about Batista’s win. Batista rolls in, Flair says that all HHH has to do is hold his own against the other 4 guys, and Batista will come in and Powerbomb them all and HHH can regain the title. Batista then asks for the $100 that HHH owes him for the bet they made last week. (They bet on who would win their match fastest). HHH gets pissed, and has Flair pay him. Batista doesn’t want Flair’s money, he wants HHH’s. HHH pulls out a Benji for Batista, and Batista tells him to get a sense of humor, and that he doesn’t want his money, then walks away laughing.

Recap of Snitsky destroying KANE at Taboo Tuesday.

Snitsky with Maria, says that he is surprised that KANE is actually coming back. Snitsky then asks Maria if she likes surprises, then whispers something in her ear. Maria runs away, and Snitsky tells KANE that whatever happens at New Year’s Revolution, “IT’S NOT MY FAULT”

Edge complaining about HBK being the special guest ref. Bischoff says that when Edge speared HBK out of the World Title at Taboo Tuesday, he added 6 weeks to HBK’s recovering time. And Bischoff lost revenue because of it, so he plans on making it back with HBK being the guest ref in the Elimination Chamber. He then tells Edge that his match with Jericho is next.

Commercials.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho
Back and forth action to start. Jericho hits the ropes, then baits Edge, and Edge charges, and Jericho sends him to the floor. Jericho then tries a baseball slide, but Edge dodges it, and they hit a double clothesline on the floor!

Commercials.

We come back and Edge had Jericho in a choke hold. Jericho gets out, nails a bulldog, then goes for a Lionsault, but Edge rolls inward, and Jericho lands on his feet. Jericho then hits a West Coast Pop type hurricanranna for 2. Jericho sets up Edge on the ropes, then goes for a his running sitdown, but Edge is up, and drills him with a clothesline. Jericho fights back up, and hits a Northern Lights Suplex for 2. Jericho goes to the top, but Edge is up, and crotches Jericho on the top turnbuckle. Back on the mat, Edge goes for a spear, but Jericho moves, and Edge goes in the turnbuckles. Jericho on the shoulders of Edge, goes for a Victory Roll, but Edge reverses it, and sits on Jericho, and grabs the ropes to score the pinfall.
Winner — Edge

Coach with Orton, and he says that he will be HHH tonight, then win the World Title at the PPV.

Commercials.

JR and King tell us that RAW is airing live in the UK, where it is 2:45am there right now. King then wishes JR a Happy BDay.

Sylvain Greiner (w/ Rob Conway) vs. Shelton Benjamin
Maven’s music hits right as Shelton gets in the ring, and he is distracted, allowing Greiner to take the advantage. Maven tells us that he is facing Shelton at NYR. Greiner takes down Shelton, and tries to do a Kick Up, but botches it. Conway gets on the apron to yell at him for it, and Shelton does a Kick Up, and knocks off Conway, then hits the swinging heel kick for 2, then the T-Bone for the pin.
Winner — Shelton

A look back at the Elimination Chamber. Here’s a trivia question for you guys, winner will get a free WWE Ruthless Aggression Action Figure from my own personal collection!

Who are the only 2 people that are in all 3 (including this weekend’s) Elimination Chamber Matches.

First one to IM me at baddasspk with the correct answer will win the figure!

XSpikeRedDragonX was the first to IM me, so he gets a free action figure!

Commercials.

While I sort though my IMs, Dan Hevia will take over live coverage.

Jerry Lawler & JR vs. Muhammed Hassan & Davari — US Debate
DanH276: Ok…King and JR in the ring representing the USA
DanH276: Muhammed Hassan and Davari (FROM MICHIGAN) representing Al Queda
DanH276: Muhammed with the TURBAN
DanH276: do you feel arab americans have been wrongly persecuted since 9/11?
DanH276: Big USA chant and Hassan throws a backpack into the crowd
DanH276: “America at it’s core is a racist nation, founded on slavery”
DanH276: Yes we are
DanH276: Hassan remembers when people in this country used to PRETEND to be polite, but after 9/11 everything came out, as the US used 9/11 as an excuse to let our true feelings about Arab Americans come out, now we feel it is our right to let our true feelings come out.
DanH276: “If we had gone to Times Square on New Year’s Eve we would’ve been searched.” They also would’ve said “Death to the infidels and blew up Regis Philbin
DanH276: Kings rebuttal:
DanH276: “Are there racists in this country? Absolutely. But there are racists and idiots in every country in the world. You came out and called our troops gutless cowards. That is unacceptable. These people don’t hate you because you’re Arab American, they hate you because you two are a bunch of jackasses!”
DanH276: Daivari spits all over the place in response.
DanH276: Hassan flies around the ring on his carpet in anger.
DanH276: big “ASSHOLE” chant at Hassan
DanH276: Hassan: “Most Arabs try to hide there heritage, they take the abuse. Not me, I will not embrace a racist nation.”
DanH276: “JR, your are a member of the media, you lead these idiots. But it sickens you that I am just as American as you, Mickey Mantle and your Oklahoma Sooners. That pisses you off, but you won’t do anything about it because you’re a coward just like every other American”
DanH276: JR: “I got somethin ta say to you MOhammed. When you unfairly characterize everyone as racist and call our troops cowards, Igot a message for you. As far as America is concerned…you love it, or by GAWD you leave it.”
DanH276: Hassan drops the turban and it’s fisticuff time!
DanH276: Beatdown on JR and King. King thrown out of the ring and JR punted in the ribs by Davari. Hassan chokes JR with his belt as Davari spits all over him in Arabic. JR’s palsy goes nuts. King takes his belt off and crawls back into the ring. Wild semi-conscious swing at the Arabs and they bail. King is busted wide open and Hassan and Davari get back in their airliner and leave.

Thanks Dan!

Commercials.

Coach is at the announce table, and he says that JR and King are being medically attended to backstage.

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria
Trish mops the floor with Vicky. Trish nails the chin kick to the back of her head for the pinfall.
Winner — Trish

Trish gets on the mic, and runs down Lita, and Lita comes out to answer the call. Lita and Trish brawl, then KANE’s pyro…however no KANE. Snitsky then comes out, and distracts Lita, then Trish nails a chin kick. Snitsky grabs a chair, and puts Lita’s neck in it, then KANE’s music hits, and he comes waltzing down to the ring, and takes out Snitsky. KANE assures Lita that he will take out Snitsky at NYR. I’m not sure I like this ‘Good Husband’ KANE.

Commercials.

  • Muhammad Hassan vs. The King
  • KANE vs. Gene Snitsky
  • Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven — IC Title
  • Lita vs. Trish Stratus — Woman’s Title
  • Eugene & William Regal vs. Tyson Tomko & Christian – Tag Titles
  • HHH vs. Jericho vs. Orton vs. Batista vs. Edge vs. Benoit — Elimination Chamber — World Title

    Christy taking a photo shoot, and Eugene walks up, listening to a CD player and starts singing a Lindsey Lohan song to Christy. Regal pulls Eugene away, and Christy helps to motivate him, then Regal picks up Eugene’s CD Player and starts singing Lindsey Lohan.

    Commercials.

    Eugene (w/ William Regal) vs. Christian (w/ Tyson Tomko)
    Eugene hits a military press slam, then shakes the ropes ala Warrior, then hits the splash on the back for 2. Christian regains his composure, and sends Eugene to the outside. Tomko slams him into the apron, then sends him back in. Christian toys with him, but Eugene pops up and nails a Rock Bottom for 2. Christian rolls though on Eugene, and gets the pinfall.
    Winner — Christian

    HHH tells Batista to hang backstage tonight, because he wants to prove to the world that Orton was just a tag along. Batista says that he will just hang back, until he started getting his ass whipped.

    Commercials.

    JR joins Coach at the announce table.

    Triple H (w/ Ric Flair) vs. Randy Orton
    Orton with a few leap frogs on a charging HHH, then a dropkick. Orton rolls up HHH for 2. Orton with a back body drop for 2. HHH up, and almost walks right into a RKO, but he pulls back, and rolls out of the ring to regroup.

    Commercials.

    We come back and Orton is pounding away on HHH in the corner, and sends him over the top rope. Orton follows, and puts HHH back in the ring, & Flair distracts Orton. Orton goes to back in, and HHH rings his neck, then shoves him off the apron, gut first on the retaining wall. Orton looks like he is hurt for real. Back on the outside, Orton reverses a whip, and HHH goes face first into the ring post. Back in the ring, Orton goes up, and nails a top rope Crossbody for 2. Orton goes for the RKO, but HHH reverses it into the Sleeper, Orton then reverses it into a Sleeper of his own. HHH backs Orton into the ref, and they knock heads. Flair slides the ring bell to HHH, Orton takes it away, and drills HHH with it. The ref is still out, and Batista comes out and takes out Orton. Benoit comes out to take out Batista, then HBK comes out to be the ref, then Edge comes out to spear HBK, but Jericho makes the save, then leaps over the top rope on Benoit, Batista, Flair and Edge. HHH and Orton are nose to nose, Orton goes for a RKO, HHH reverses it into a Pedigree, but Orton reverses it back, and nails the RKO for the pinfall.
    Winner — Orton

    Show Over.

    ~PK

    Be sure to sign up for the New Year’s Revolution Pick ‘Em Game.

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