InsidePulse Indy Report: Beef Wellington Interview

NATE STEIN: Thank you for doing this interview. For the benefit of those who may not know you or much about you, how would you describe yourself?

BEEF WELLINGTON: A Gemini with natural blond hair and soulful blue eyes, Beef Wellington loves short walks on the beach (I get winded after about 3 minutes), fast food and Marcus Alexander Bagwell. As far as Beef is concerned, Buff is most definitely The Stuff. Oh, I also have the nicest eyebrows in wrestling, no plucking necessary.

STEIN: What got you into wrestling?

BEEF: Like every wrestler, I was a fan of wrestling (and jazz ballet) since childhood. I had kinda lost interest in it by about 13 when I started playing football. That’s when I met Kid Kamikaze and he got me back into wrestling; in return I got him into smoking way too much weed. One day he heard a radio add saying that Jacques Rougeau had a wrestling school in Montreal so naturally, being big fans of law enforcement and horrible bumping, we signed up immediately.

STEIN: I’ve heard various things about Jacques & his training, what was your experience like there?

BEEF: I don’t wanna talk too much about Jacques but I will say he taught me some very important things about wrestling, none of them physical. Most of our actual training was done by Eric Mastracola at first and later on we essentially trained ourselves. Regardless of what anyone says about Jacques Rougeau or what I may think about him personally, he gave me the opportunity to wrestle in front of 11 000 people at The Molson Center and I wuill always be greatful for that. He also has a great fashion sense.

STEIN: What are people’s infatuation with people wanting your hoodies or is it the just the fact Montreal area winters are frigid?

BEEF: Man, I’m like the Fred Durst of merchandise. I’m GETTIN PAID! Most people don’t know this but I make virtually all the merchandise for the IWS and its wrestlers (DVDs aside of course. www.smartmarkvideo.com) and I pay for a lot of the stuff out of my own pocket. Amazingly, my merch outsells everyone else’s pretty easily. Especially anywhere there are kids, they love the cow. I also beg a lot, crying usually closes the deal.

STEIN: I think it’s safe to say that you are definitely over with pretty much everyone. What do you credit that to?

BEEF: I’m surprisingly good in bed.

STEIN: At IWS, you just ended an ongoing battle with Don Paysan, even facing off against now IWS Heavyweight champion Frankie the Mobster. Recently, you announced an interspecies match for March’s “Un FN Sanctioned”. What all do you see coming for yourself in the future at IWS?

BEEF: 2004 was a really good year for me, wrestling-wise. I have really low self-esteem so I’m rarely happy with my matches but this year was good. I just want to keep having good matches against good opponents and keep fooling the fans into cheering for me. An IWS title match would be great, too, it would give me a reason to have a serious match.

STEIN: Any clues to your opponent for the interspecies open challenge at Un FN Sanctioned?

BEEF: Well, it won’t be a bear. Been there, done that…I like to innovate. Rumor has it that IWS management is pissed at me for making that announcement. I had told them that I was announcing my cameo in the upcoming straight to DVD movie “Ernest Kills A Hooker When He Finds Out She Has A Penis”. Needless to say, they were unhappy to find out I had duped them. They keep threatening to bring in Mantaur to answer the challenge but I don’t think they can afford him.

STEIN: What has your experiences at Jersey All Pro been like so far? What do you seen in the future there?

BEEF: Jersey’s been a lot of fun. I got my ass handed to me by Super Dragon (who hits damn hard) in my American debut. The best part about working in the states is the reception we’ve all gotten there. Personally, I don’t know what JAPW has in mind for me. They’re pushing Steen and Generico to the moon (rightfully so) but I think they see me as just a comedy wrestler who can’t hang with the bigger names. As long as they keep booking me, I can do my best to prove them wrong.

STEIN: You’re often called, & you’ve often called yourself, “A Novelty Act”. You’re a talented wrestler, but why focus on the comedy?

BEEF: Honestly, it all depends on the match. I’m not as athletic as an El Generico or a Kevin Steen or a Kurgann. In order to get over with a crowd I have to rely on my “charisma” and my amazing abs. I like to think I’m fairly versatile in the ring; I can wrestle a little, I can get hardcore, I can tell a story in the ring but I think you have to be yourself in the ring (which is why good gimmicks are an extension of etc etc bullshit yadda yadda). And Beef Wellington is me, I often wear tassels in public, I love cake, I own the movie Cop and Half and I just like to be ridiculous and have a good time. I would like to add that I HATE having any match labeled as a comedy match beforehand. Whenever possible I try to put comedy into a solid wrestling match as opposed to having a match that’s strictly comedy…ok I’ll move on. I wrestled a bear.

STEIN: Why do you think Quebec wrestling and wrestlers, including yourself, are beginning to show up everywhere?

BEEF: Characters and fan interaction. In the IWS, everyone has a character. American fans aren’t used to that and they’re starved for it. There are so many incredible wrestlers on the U.S. indy scene but most of them have no gimmick and they don’t work the crowd. Sexy (Stein note: I have to remove the three x’s or some sites will block the posting) Eddy deserves all the credit for getting the American fans and promoters to open up to us. People might not realize it either but he didn’t necessarily do it by killing himself, (he did, but lots of guys kill themselves) he did it with his showmanship. Quebec was an unexploited pool of talent and now that we’ve been given the spotlight, we’re holding on to it and doing our best to shine it on others who deserve it as much, if not more so, than we do.

STEIN: Is there something specific in the states you would like to accomplish?

BEEF: I would like to eat at White Castle without shitting myself 5 minutes later. Those little burgers are amazing but damn do they pack an asspunch from the inside. Come to think of it, I’d like to eat at any restaurant in the states without shitting myself on impact.

STEIN: Who do you consider to be some of the people you hang with who looks out for you & who you look out for in the business?

BEEF: I hate to sound cynical but in this business you pretty much look out for yourself. That’s not to say I haven’t made alot of friends in the business. Kid K is my best friend and was so before wrestling. Steen and Generico are probably the closest friends I’ve made in wrestling because we’re so alike in alot of ways (including high flying ability). I used to hang out with The Green Phantom alot, he actually had me eating better and working out for a while but that ended when I went back to school. Brian The Guppie and Peter LaSalle are good friends of mine, Wonderfred actually got me a job and I dated Elsa Bangz for over a year. There are way too many more people to mention, I don’t like listing names. None of this answered your question at all but too f*ckin bad.

STEIN: It’s the dawn of a New Year. What are some goals you what to have completed by the start of 2006?

BEEF: I want to wrestle in as many promotions as I can; Chikara and PWG specifically because those are two promotions that feature comedy. I would love to wrestle in ROH, too of course. I’ve still never had a one on one IWS match against El Generico and that’s always been something we both want to do. If I could accomplish just one thing in 2005 it would be to become the official spokesperson for Bacon.

STEIN: Who in the indies right now would you like to face in the ring?

BEEF: There are a few IWS guys I’ve never wrestled or haven’t wrestled much: Generico, The Arsenal, Hellstorm, PCP Crazy Fn Manny, Sean the photographer etc…from the States, Colt Cabana would probably be my dream opponent, Spanky too. I would also love to get my face mutilated by Samoa Joe for some reason, maybe just to see if I could take it. I know Marty Janetty still works the indies and that would be a dream come true, as would Lex Luger, Barry Horrowitz, Agent Orange, Big Flame, The Missing Link, Dustin “Screetch” Diamond, Van Helsing, Chuck Knoblauch, Horace Hogan, Antonio Inoki, Antonio Banderas, Roderick Strong, Sting, NWO Sting, Billy Gunn, Biff Wellington, Sunny War Cloud, Tammy Sytch, The Insane Clown Posse and Heavy Metal Van Hammer to name a few. The one thing that must happen before I stop wrestling is for Steve “Mongo” McMichael, the greatest wrestler to ever grace a ring…a real wrestler’s wrestler if you will, to come out of retirement and face me in a veritable professional wrestling clinic. Or a posedown.

STEIN: (In your response to who you would like to work from the indies) What about Breyer Wellington (probably most known for his appearance in Juggalo Championshit Wrestling)?

BEEF: Breyer Wellington has a beautiful blond perm, kinda reminds me of Sid. I also saw him eat a legdrop from the top rope through a table to the floor by Shaggy 2 Dope. Other than that I haven’t been overly impressed. I would love to wrestle at JCW though, actually we’re actively trying to get booked for the Gathering this year. Myself, Kid K, El Generico, Sexxxy Eddy and Viking are all Juggalos. We’re getting some help from Ruckus, who I learned is a pretty hardcore Juggalo too, so that’s awesome.

STEIN: If there was one person in wrestling you could ask a question of, what & who would it be & why?

BEEF: I would ask Chris Benoit what it was like to tag with Steve “Mongo” McMichael in WCW and to be able to bask in his infinite glory while watching him in the ring, knowing that Mongo was making triple the money that he was. Then I would pat him on the shoulder and tell him “It’s ok to cry Chris, would you like a tissue?”

STEIN: What else do you want people to know about you?

BEEF: Ummmmm…that I’m a former public speaking champion, I’m a horrible Jew, I have an orange belt in karate, I strongly recommend listening to Less Than Jake, I love horror movies (I’m getting my Michael Myers tattoo in February by Dave Cummings, the best tattoo artist on the planet) and I mark out particularly hard for zombies, I once wrestled a live bear, I’ve actually eaten ice cream with bacon in it (not as good as it sounds) and a complete stranger from Pittsburgh named Sip told me that I’m pretty and I get all the ho’z.

I’d just like to end this by thanking Nate Stein for paying me indescribable amounts of money to do this interview and by giving a few shout outs to people who deserve it for some reason or another, or don’t deserve it at all. Here it goes:

Muffin, my dad, my boy paolo, Brandon Irons, Chalet BBQ, the entire IWS locker room, the hardcore soldiers, everyone who buys merchandise (be it mine, Green Phantom’s or Bon Jovi’s), Point St. Charles Tattoo, Batista, Ben and Ohan from B4-4, the 3rd guy from B4-4 who’s name I don’t remember or care about, Massoud from Jardin (your goo will be missed, friend) Steve “Mongo” McMichael, Jazz, Shane Matthews, Don Johnson, Assistant District Attorney Jack McCoy, Aaron Weiss, Aaron Spelling, Tori Spelling, Tori Spelling’s plastic surgeon, Lloyd Banks of G Unit: The Hunger For More, Chad Michael Murray, Kiefer Sutherland a.k.a. Jack Bauer, Tony Almeida, President David Palmer (FUCK Sherry Palmer), Special Agent Michael Vaughn, Tony Danza, Luther Reigns, Kenzo Suzuki, Wonderfred, Jenna Haze, Taylor Hill, Aaron Weiss, Carl Choquette, Test, Edge, Michael Cole, Heidenreich, Voltage, Fishnet Stockings, Nomad, Thorn, Jo Jo Savard, Dave Babych, Jeepers Creepers, Myzery, Brian Boitano, Bloodhound Gang, Michael Landsberg and the entire OTR staff and crew, Len, Robocop, Sid Vicious, Bronson Pinchot RIP, Alfonso Ribeiro, Tough Enough contestant Rory “The Gander” Gandelson, Sylvain, Sylvain Grenier, NSS skate shoes, Peter North, DC Shoe Co, Kaaza, Lars Ulrich, Marathon’s Souvlaki, Joe f*cks Rami, The State of South Dakota, Hot Topic where me and CM Punk shop, Barbiehead, Ramu from Econolodge, Ron Jeremy, Omar Epps, Zug Island, Zuggalos world-wide, Ernest “The Cat” Miller, Dirk Nowitski, Gene Snitsky, Lita and Kane’s marriage & pregnancy angle, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (The movie, not the TV show), Tom Arnold, Jimmy Jacobs, Grignano and sons bootmakers, EZTights.com, Luther Vandross, Maya Angelou, Touched By An Angel, Kyle, Dar, Donnie Whalberg, Joey Macintire, Jordan Knight, Jonathan Knight, Danny Wood, Gangrel, Snuffaluffagus, Elimidate, Sex With Furniture, Kam Do, A.C. Slater, Acidwash Jeans, Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, Ed The Sock, DJ Hahn, Venture Shoes, Baysport, Marche Aux Puces 5 Etoiles, Ronnie Garvin, Cheese Curds, Scallopped Potatoes, Rick James RIP, ODB RIP, Tony Robbins, Dow Jones, Eric Mastrocola’s Mustache, Eric Roberts, Bad Dude, The Rock N Roll Express, Doink, AVP: Whoever Wins We Lose, Kevin Costner’s The Postman, Bobby Brown, Ray Lewis, Kuala Lampur, Heather from IDeepThroat.com, Alisha Klass, Ashley Blue, Cedric Rougeau, Armand Rougeau, Pre-Shane’s World Shane, Camp Dom Bosco, “Radioactive” Edward Dorozowsky, Matthieu DeGongre, Seabiscuit, Danny Pintauro, Kirk Cameron, Alex Winters: The forgotten star of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure who couldn’t escape the shadow of Keanu Reeves’ screen presence, Decarie Hotdog, Professor Mohammed Hedayatullah, Low Ki, Kieran Culkin, Frodo Baggins, Gigli, Elisha Cuthbert,Tony The Tiger, Ahmed Johnson, Nemessis, Wailing Jimmy Handjob, Benji and Joel Madden of Good Charlotte (OMG u guys r so cute lolz), The Ultimate Warrior, Mr. Harry Lebovitch, Mr. Harold Joffre, Connor’s Crests, The Bear, J.J. Rougeau, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Stan Fransisco, Stunt, Bad Boy Joly, Bad Boy Eric Katchadourian, Crackhead Rob in the pen, Buff Daddy, Sip, Dan The Human Scale, Kung Fu Johnny, The Lazarus Brothers, Alfredo a.k.a. DJ KO, Blaze Ya Dead Homie, Super Dragon who’s lusted for me for a fort night, Blimpies, Abdullah’s pussy, Pulse Ultra, Pennywise The Clown, Less Than Jake, The Vandals, NOFX, Kane, Peter Jackson, Wild Dangerous Dan, Twiztid, Pubis, Danny Pappas of Easton Sports, Ashlee Simpson, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, Michael Thaemlitz, The O.G. Sean Paish, The NAACP, UCLA, Kraft Dinner, Underaged Girls and Cake.

R.I.P. Jerry Orbach

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