As I watch the previews for Survivor: Palau, I can’t help but stand in awe of the fact that after nine previous seasons, my excitement has not waned. And as I stated last week, my enthusiasm is not spawned from the minor flips that the game takes from season to season. Sure, the big pitch is that the players will be given “no help” of any kind, which, I am assuming, includes supplies and rewards of fishing spears and flints. And producers have alluded to the fact that the twenty new players will live together as one big tribe. OK, sounds interesting enough. But I have always maintained that the best thing about Survivor, the factor that keeps it fresh, is the cast. The electric personalities. The immoral, savage acts. The nude sunbathing. The make-out sessions (of which there have been far too few). In a nutshell: the human drama.
I have every confidence that this new group can deliver. So, without further ado, here are my notes on the second half of the cast:
Jeff Wilson, 21
If you ask me, personal trainers are an entirely overrepresented group of professionals on reality television. Of course, I fully understand the reason for this: they have great bodies. And given the behavior of some trainers on past seasons, such as Alicia Callaway (Outback and All-Stars) and Alex Bell (Amazon), they can be fairly entertaining. Still, I find myself a bit skeptical of Mr. Wilson and fear that his squeaky-clean resume of high school sports and outdoor hobbies may reveal a white bread jock on-camera and nothing more. If that’s the case, his perky ass is outta there, anyway.
Jennifer Lyon, 32
Her photo reveals a cheerful, blonde California girl, and a quick glance at Jennifer’s bio reveals an interesting, adventurous life. Clearly, Ms. Lyon has spent more time living than tanning. She lived in Spain for a year and London for two, suggesting that she probably knows how to have a good time (especially in Spain; damn, that country is fun). And according to CBS.com, she now works as a nanny, part-time photographer, and “has previously worked as a nutrition counselor, preschool teacher and photographer’s assistant.” I have a lot of respect for such renaissance people and wish Jennifer the best of luck putting her versatility to work in the game of Survivor.
Jolanda “Jo” Jones, 39
Given the number of personal struggles this woman has overcome in her life, Survivor should be an absolute cake walk for Ms. Jones. In addition to dealing with the murders and deaths of several close family members, Jo herself has dealt with tremendous odds, such as an abusive relationship and extreme poverty. And yet, she has prevailed beautifully, receiving a nomination for a Rhodes scholarship, earning a law degree, competing in and winning heptathlons (that’s seven track and field events, folks), and qualifying for the 1996 U.S. Olympic Trials. Is this anything this woman can’t do?
Jonathan Libby, 23
OK, this guy is an animal. He’s competing on Survivor less than a year after fighting testicular cancer and, according to CBS.com, “he teaches women’s self-defense courses and competes in full-contact fighting.” Oh, and he knows how to make sushi. The guy sounds like a tough MF and I’d like to see the contestant who can take him down in anything.
Katie Gallagher, 29
One look at Ms. Gallagher’s easy smile and wavy blonde hair told me that this girl could probably get along with anyone. She just looks like the type of person people would confide in and run to when they needed to have their egos propped up. And this could make Katie a positively lethal weapon in the game of Survivor. Although she also describes herself as “sarcastic, full of opinions”, I have a feeling that if she exercises a little restraint, Katie could find herself sitting in a final four spot.
Kim Mullen, 25
Don’t judge this book by its babe-tastic cover, that’s all I have to say. Ms. Mullen’s list of achievements include the pursuit of a PhD, knowledge of Arabic, and the title of Miss Ohio USA 2002. Yes, she’s modeled, but she also wants to be a professor. I like this girl already. I’m interested to see what strategy she employs. Will she show everyone her cards as a brainiac or play up the beach babe factor?
Stephenie LaGrossa, 25
OK, so I think the spelling of her name is stupid and no doubt the other players will mess it up when they want to vote her off (didn’t her parents foresee her future as a reality TV star?). But first they’ll have to outsmart her. And given her status as the only girl in a family of five kids and her love of lacrosse, field hockey, and swimming, I’d say the other nineteen contestants will have their work cut out for them. Lacrosse players are notoriously hardcore in every way and I’d be surprised if Ms. LaGrossa were an exception.
Tom Westman, 41
I read somewhere that Tom is the predicted villain of this season. We’ll see. He looks more like a dear ol’ dad type, with his kind eyebrows and twinkling smile. Plus, he has that whole Irish thing going, which everyone seems to love. But having grown up in Queens and working as a firefighter, I have to gather that Mr. Westman is also made of steel. The real question is: are toughness and kindness mutually exclusive? Maybe Tom will provide an answer.
Wanda Shirk, 55
As a fellow teacher, I have the utmost respect for Ms. Shirk, a 28-year veteran from the front lines of junior high and high school classrooms. Anyone who deals with whiny, crabby pubescents day in and day out probably takes no prisoners and has a keen B.S. detector. She’s been a foster parent, too, which means her home life was peppered with more youthful angst. If Wanda is as no-nonsense as she appears, I wonder how well she’ll do in the game. It’s true that straight shooters such as Twila Tanner (Vanuatu) and Sandra Diaz-Twine (Pearl Islands) have done well in the past. But will Wanda get the respect she deserves? I certainly hope so.
Willard Smith, 57
Let’s run down the list: sickly child, stint in the military, postal carrier, race relations specialist for the army, law career, and 34-year relationship with his wife. I fear that Mr. Smith may come off as a tad bossy, given his military background. Or he may fall the way of Sarge and be well-respected but voted off because of his brute strength. Either way, I think it kicks ass that someone named Willard is playing the game of Survivor.
