Murtzcellanious: Murtz Jaffer Talks To Apprentice 3\'s Kristen Kirchner

This season of the Apprentice has surprised me like no other. It seems like the contestants are a lot deeper than they seemingly appear to be and every interview rivets me. The conversation that I had with Kristen was funny and intense. It was explosive and thought-provoking. She is one of the most open reality contestants I have ever met and now I can see why she was chosen for two separate shows on two separate networks. I have no doubt you will enjoy this piece.


Murtz Jaffer: I have to tell you Kristen that I have been interested in talking to you for a long time. I remember you from Murder In Small Town X. Can you tell me a little bit about that show and how you got on it?

Kristen Kirchner: I was at a bar and I was hanging out and someone came up to me and said that they were casting for a reality TV show, and I said that I wasn’t interested. She said it’s really really good. Back in the day, reality TV to me was dating shows. So I said that I wasn’t interested and she told me that it was on a major network and that it would air on primetime and I still said that I wasn’t really interested. She told me to take her card and to call her. I decided the next day to call and I went in. I started doing some research in the business and I found out that it was an investigative show. I found out the stuff before I started going out for it. When I found it that it was a murder investigation, I thought that it was right up my alley. I just went out for it and kept going and eventually got on it.

MJ: What’s interesting to me is that you said that they found you at a bar. What stood out about you that made them immediately want to cast you on a reality show?

KK: I don’t know! She just came right up to me. She picked me out of all these people. I know that I have a very strong personality, and they said that I have a lot of energy. I don’t have problems with guys picking me up and trying to take me home (laughs). I have that energy about me that I am not one of those girls. I have never been taken advantage of by a guy. It could be that energy.

MJ: I always felt that show was underrated, do you agree?

KK: ABSOLUTELY! I am going to go out on a limb and say this, but from the way some of us were portrayed on The Apprentice year, I really hate to say this but the Fox show… it was superior to almost every other reality show that I have seen.

MJ: That’s what I think to. The thing is that I have covered every reality show for the past six years and I always felt that was the show that got the least amount of credit.

KK: Well, we have two problems here. First of all, as much as I know some of the higher-ups at Fox and I love the network, their marketing and business plans are the worst in the whole entire entertainment industry. They are coming back finally, but you know the biggest problem is marketing. You could have the crappiest piece of property, but if you have a great marketing team and you market that product strategically, it’s going to sell. Fox suffers from that. Their biggest downfall was the marketing. They didn’t have it on billboards, they didn’t have it on bus sides. I’ll tell you one thing. NBC kicks butt when it comes to marketing. They kick butt! That’s important in business.

MJ: Was there ever a problem where NBC said that this is Kristen from Murder In Small Town X, we don’t want her on The Apprentice?

KK: NBC had problems with that, but Mark Burnett pushed for me. I gotta tell you, I am not happy with the way I looked. If people want to call me the witch from Murder In Small Town X, that’s fine. I butted with Jeff and a couple of people and quite frankly, I haven’t spoken with them since. If I am a witch for not liking a Tony-Robbins guru/freak of nature, then you can call me a witch. I am fine with that.

MJ: So you don’t talk to anybody from Murder In Small Town X?

KK: Oh no, I talk to a lot of them. I just don’t talk to Jeff. You know the international male model…?

MJ: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The one who kept jumping around and celebrating when you were “executed” on the show…

KK: Freak of nature! They were capitalizing on the fact that I did not get along with him. So I was the witch of the show. He kept giving me these speeches from his Tony Robbins seminars. And it was like dude, seriously, get a friggin’ life. Honey, quit pointing fingers at other people and start pointing them back at yourself because that’s where you have to worry. And that’s Audrey on the Apprentice. Audrey on the Apprentice is Jeff from Murder In Small Town X.

MJ: You just took my next question out of my mouth. I was just going to say that on both shows, I noticed that you got a bum deal on the editing. On both shows, they made you look like the bad guy. Is it you or is it the editors?

KK: Oh, it’s definitely not me. Because I got phone calls. I am not going to blame the editors on Murder In Small Town X, because this is me. I get on these shows and you can’t talk to these people (other castmembers) until you start filming. As soon as they start filming, I say that I am Kristen and I have that energy about me. I am told this by everybody. Everyone always tells me that I have very intimidating energy about me. When you put a whole bunch of ‘A’ personalities in a room, I am very stubborn. They automatically try to cut me down. Oh look, she’s from Murder In Small Town X. Oh look, she’s from LA. Oh look, she’s wearing furs and diamond earrings. Where’s her Gucci swimsuit (you know, when I got into the Jacuzzi). Where’s your Gucci bag? Then they just started in on me. And when someone starts up, I am like shut the f*** up. If you have problems with me, or you’re intimidated by me, then just admit that. Immediately, I cut them down. As soon as I go there, I don’t play their games. Then people say that they hate me.

MJ: And that’s why you are the one that they choose to focus on as the bitch?

KK: Right. Because I don’t take anyone’s crap. I basically walk away from people. I don’t allow people to play that game with me. It’s the same thing in the real world. I call a spade a spade. If I don’t like something, I will go right up to them and say ‘Jeff, I honestly think you’re the worst human being I have ever met in my entire life and I don’t like you.’ As soon as you go there, they magnify it on television. They say that Kristen Kirchner is at it again. It’s cool. I gave them the footage. I was definitely edited in the right manner on Murder In Small Town X. I watched it and said that is exactly how the course of events went. I was very proud of the editors. I thought that they could have edited the show better because we had a lot of crazy drama in the house and it would have made for more entertaining TV, but I really think they did a great job. I am very disappointed with the Apprentice this season. We have brilliant people on this show and you are not seeing the talents of these people and it is sad. Everyone wants drama, but come on, how much drama do you have to put into an intelligent business show. Between myself and many of the other cast members, we are some crazy crazy business people and we didn’t see this. I was wondering what’s going on. We might as well have been on The Real World on MTV.

MJ: I was going to joke with you about this later, but maybe it had something to do with the fact that you were a brunette on the show instead of the blonde hair that worked so well for you on Murder In Small Town X.

KK: Well, you know I am going to go back to blonde. Because I don’t know what the deal is with camera angles is because someone even said that ‘oh, she’s gained 20 pounds’ but I weigh the same that I did when I was on Murder In Small Town X. Maybe it’s the brunette that makes me look fatter… you know no one recognizes me from the Apprentice? Everyone knows my name. Everyone knows who Kristen Kirchner is, but when they meet me they are like ‘oh, you’re her?’ They see me in public and they always tell me that I am much skinnier in person. I get it all the time. I was in Dallas yesterday. Everyone knows my name and they know the show but they don’t think that I am her. They say ‘oh you smile, you never smiled on the show!’ I said ‘trust me honey, I smiled all the time on the show, they just never showed it.’

MJ: You said that NBC had a bit of a problem with you being on Murder In Small Town X before and how Mark Burnett pushed to get you on. What do you think it was about you that we didn’t see? Why did Mark Burnett want you on the show so badly?

KK: I have that snazzy personality. Mark Burnett knew that my personality could cut through glass if someone got on my bad side. I was told from an inside source (and I don’t mind saying this) that Audrey scored the lowest on the IQ test for the contestants. The casting people could not believe that she got on the show. She literally got on there because I bet you she threw herself in a sexual manner during the casting. She’s a clinger. I would say that she uses her sex (I was told by inside sources). I would say that Audrey was known to use her sexuality on the show and she was known to throw herself at men. You can say that.

MJ: You’re hardcore! I love it!

KK: She also probably threw herself at Mark Burnett. In my opinion, during her casting I am sure that she threw herself. In my opinion, she propositioned them to get on the show for sex. You can say that I said that, but that I don’t know for a fact.

MJ: I can tell that we are going to become fast friends because I also have stories to tell…

KK: I know that she made a very sexual comment during casting. Mark (Burnett) throws people like her in with people like me because he knows that I will annihilate them. I speak with many of the first and second season contestants. Omarosa and I talk on a consistent basis. Jen C. Elizabeth. Bradford. I am closest with a lot of the strongest players, and the weaker players I am not. It’s kind of funny.

MJ: I always like the villains and you are totally one of the villains.

KK: Yeah and that’s why Jen C and I get along. I mean Omarosa, she’s cool. We’re like two peas in a pod. We get along really well. I met Maria and I think she rocks as well, she’s a strong woman. If you read the internet, you know that people have written really horrible stuff about me. ‘She’s so stupid, she’s such an idiot!’ I am like, ‘honey, trust me I wouldn’t be as far up as I am in business if I am so stupid and such an idiot.’

MJ: That’s what I was going to ask you before. You’re obviously accomplished in business and real estate and we didn’t get to see any of that. What have you done?

KK: I am one of the (and this is a fact)… I was the most accomplished woman in the suite on the show and I was the third-to-highest most accomplished person in the suite in business. For some reason, the show not only made me out to be a witch but they made me out to be the stupidest person.

MJ: As soon as you watch these shows, you can tell who is going to step up and who is going to play. I knew immediately that you were one of the ones that would step and that’s also why I knew that (even before they released the cast and I heard that the girl from Murder In Small Town X was going to be on it) they would cut you off immediately. That’s because they cannot handle the over-the-radar players.

KK: I’ll tell you what I am doing right now. I have put together a team of directors/production. I have contacted Dove headquarters (like the top people there) and I have e-mailed NBC and I told them that I am in production on a Dove commercial. I am putting together, in the real world, the task that I was given on The Apprentice. I am going to prove that Donald Trump exaggerated when he said that they gave us state of the art equipment and enough time. He’s full of s***. If you want to insult someone like Audrey who is not a true business woman, that’s fine. But when Donald Trump attacks my ego in the business world and makes me look like a piece of crap, honey, he has met his match. Donald Trump should not be saying I am a bad leader when I was a great leader for that task and I didn’t even lead my team to a defeat. The other team didn’t even beat me. The show made me look like an idiot and they portrayed in the wrong manner and I don’t even know why the f*** Donald Trump fired me… oh yeah because he’s casting for the Ms. Universe pageant. I am not saying that I am ugly by any means but I also don’t constantly compliment my own looks.

MJ: What about the task itself?

KK: They showed that the models were talking about me behind my back. I want you to print this. They showed on NBC’s website that the models were like “I can’t stand working with her” they showed my face, but when the models said that… how come you didn’t hear them say Kristen the project manager? They used the word “she” because they were talking about Angie. The models couldn’t stand her and they showed my face when they were talking and they edited out when they said “Angie.”

MJ: That’s standard though in reality television.

KK: That’s illegal. That’s defamation of my character. This is considered reality TV.

MJ: What are the differences between the two shows?

KK: I was fine with Murder In Small Town X. I am more disrespected in this show than I was on Murder In Small Town X. I had more fans on that show.

MJ: The thing is though, that on Murder In Small Town X, I still felt like you were the same person, however I felt that on that show you were more of the victim. You’re the same person, except on The Apprentice they are making you the villain. It’s like villain versus victim. It’s the wrong “v.”

KK: You saw me working my butt off on Murder In Small Town X. They showed my skills. This show, they never showed any of my skills. They said look, she’s a piece of crap. She can’t control her team. She sucks as a leader. Okay, you’re fired. When I was doing great on the first and third episode, you barely saw me talking. You barely saw me. Because I never bitched and I never fought with anyone so they had nothing to show. Magna also got more coverage in general?

MJ: You mean in terms of facetime?

KK: Magna got more coverage when I got fired, because Magna was more of a clusterf***. They couldn’t show enough footage of me being a screw-up, so they had to capitalize more on Magna because they didn’t have enough footage to show me looking like crap. That’s why Magna got more airtime when I got fired. Nothing happened. At least my models weren’t sitting around for three hours. Magna started filming four hours after us because they couldn’t get their s*** together, but we don’t get to see that now do we? There was no drama when I got fired.

MJ: For somebody with such a big personality and somebody that’s so fiery and somebody that’s so good at business, why didn’t they keep you on? Essentially you could have become the next Omarosa, not saying that you are but you were giving them material that they could work with.

KK: I have gotten many e-mails from people that say they no longer want to watch the show because I am not on there. People that known me from Murder In Small Town X. I might be a bitch, but I am not a psycho. When it comes time for keeping a disasterous psycho or a bitch, they’re going to keep the disasterous psycho… that’s Audrey.

MJ: You have said in other interviews that Trump disrespects women and likes them weak. You also said that he can’t handle a woman that speaks her mind. Can you elaborate?

KK: Audrey’s a perfect example. Audrey was in the boardroom constantly throwing herself at Trump and constantly flirting with him and he even said in my boardroom (and I don’t even care if you print this), ‘don’t you think that Audrey’s a beautiful girl, Kristen?’ He was even flirting with Erin. He sat there and disrespected me as I am sitting there with other women (with Tana), and basically telling me that I am ugly by telling me that these two other women are beautiful and he didn’t fire them and fired me. Audrey never did any work. You know that I came out here for business, in the business world I never heard of a boss commenting on two women’s beauty before firing a third. I think that can be grounds for something serious, don’t you?

MJ: Why did he tell you that?

KK: Because that’s what Trump thinks about women. They’re f****** pieces of ass.

MJ: That we knew, but I am curious about why he said that to your face.

KK: He thinks this is a friggen’ joke. Do you think he really gives a rat’s ass about who’s going to be the next Apprentice? I mean honestly. I really thought he cared but why isn’t Bill Rancic going to be working for him after this year? If Bill Rancic is that great and that awesome, then why isn’t Trump signing him on? Why isn’t Bill Rancic going to continue working for the Trump organization. That’s what I want to know.

MJ: I didn’t know that…

KK: Well I heard that. I don’t know if it’s a fact yet, but I heard that. If these Apprentices are taken seriously, then why wasn’t Bill invited to Donald Trump’s wedding. Why were Carolyn and George there, but Bill wasn’t? What the hell is going on? How much does Trump really respect us? If he was really looking for the next Apprentice, then he wouldn’t have fired me. These people can’t hold a candle to me in the business world and I know that. If you were to interview most people on my team, they would tell you that I was awesome on every task and that they needed me. Let’s see how much they win after I am gone.

MJ: Well, you are actually the first Net Worth candidate that I have gotten to interview. I have interviewed all of the Magna people…

KK: I got phone calls the next day from Net Worth saying that ‘I can’t believe they made you look like that.’

MJ: I read that you said that in other interviews. That a lot of your team called you after the episode had aired.

KK: Tana, Tara, Angie, they all were like that’s not what happened. It’s amazing.

MJ: I know that you have talked a lot about Audrey, but Angie also gave you a hard time. Why haven’t you said anything about her?

KK: Angie’s a mother. Audrey is the same age as Angie’s child. Angie looked at me as a competitor. Angie and I get along great. She’s very intelligent, as much as we fought or whatever, Angie’s a bright woman. If I could break down Net Worth in terms of who I wanted to stay with and who I wanted to get rid of. I would have said I wanted to stay with Tana, Tara, Angie, me and John. The five of us could have carried that team to win every time.

MJ: They made it look like you and John were butting heads too.

KK: You know what? John and I get along great, but when the time comes for the project manager to lose, John’s like I think she should get fired. Everyone thinks the project manager should get fired when we lose because everyone likes to point fingers. I can’t say that I hate John, that’s what happens. I lost a lot of respect for John when I saw that (ratting me out). All in all, John really liked me and we got along fine.

MJ: But that’s the way to play it. That’s what Ivana did last time. Her entire strategy revolved around blaming the project managers. Isn’t that a smart strategy?

KK: Absolutely. I am not going to look at John and hold that over his head. That’s just the way the ball bounces. I like John. I would go into business with him and I would work with him. I respect him, I think he’s bright, I think he’s a great leader and I think he definitely was a great asset to our team. No matter what he said. You can’t take everything personally in business. You just can’t. I can’t take what Angie said personally in business for telling me to shut up and attacking me because the bottom line is that she is a great businesswoman. If someone told me that they hated me and I knew that were still great at business, I would still go into business with them. It’s all about money.

MJ: But when Audrey tells you to shut up, then it’s something that’s completely different?

KK: She’s an idiot. She’s stupid. Angie’s the one who told me to shut the f*** up, John is the one that said that I should be fired and I am still saying great things about them. This is proof that I am not taking it personally. Audrey though is one of the biggest pieces of crap that I have ever met in my entire life and probably one of the dumbest people.

MJ: Well, I know that you told me earlier that you felt that she used her sex appeal. You don’t think that there is anything redeeming about her business skills that got her onto the show?

KK: Audrey’s married and she hooked up with somebody on the show. I am not going to tell you who. She’s a piece of crap. She’s the most self-righteous, finger-pointing, flying under-the-radar, I-am-a-bitter-person-that-doesn’t-do-anything-and-hates-everybody kind of woman that will sleep with anyone to get anywhere.

MJ: That’s interesting to me because I know she said a lot of s*** about you on the show?

KK: That’s because I ripped her a new one and they never showed it on the show. I told her that if she steps or gets in my way, I will annihilate her. I can’t believe they didn’t show this. I was in the room with Tana and Tara behind-the-scenes and they were recording me and I said I can’t believe this 22-year-old little bitch (who was one of the youngest in the suite) can sit here and tell all of us how to conduct our lives. She sits here and does absolutely nothing and her ideas are miniscule. I was talking behind-her-back and she walked around and she saw me and I told her “that’s right sweetheart, I am talking about you. All you sit there and do is bitch, bitch, bitch. Gripe, gripe, gripe. All of us hate your ass and all we want to do is get you fired.” I told her to “sit back and quit crying (she cried everyday) and stay the f*** out of my way and everybody else’s way because if you cross the line one more time, I will make sure your ass is annihilated.” The next day is when I was announced project manager and she hated me everyday after that.

MJ: I don’t understand why you just didn’t click with her. We didn’t see how this whole thing between you and her got started.

KK: She never did any work. You know when you saw her with Brian and I? Brian and I were having a discussion and she’d start walking up to me while the cameras were on even though Brian and I were just having a conversation she would start over dramatizing it. She’d go “you and Brian really should stop talking. There’s people listening.” I looked around the hotel and there was no one listening. It’s kind of interesting that there was no one around when I was talking to him, but when I watched it on TV all of a sudden there were lots of people… hmm, what’s going on there?

MJ: That’s interesting. Let’s move over to the other candidates. I personally think a woman is definitely going to win this season.

KK: I am a sore loser. I’ll tell Norma that I am a sore loser because I got the short end of the stick.

At this point, Kristen and I started to discuss Trump’s allegations against her in the New York Daily news. Kristen did not know about the article and was surprised to hear about it. It can be accessed here.

MJ: Before I do one of these interviews, I look up other articles that are written about my subject (in this case you) and I was surprised because I literally could not find anything positive. Each one that I pulled up was so subjective. Why is there no objectivity at all?

KK: Every single person just talks crap. They talk about how I have to get over myself and stop being arrogant, but the thing is that if I wasn’t arrogant, if I didn’t love myself (and I am just going to say this ’cause I do like who I am) then I would have committed suicide from all the stuff that I read. I better have thick skin and like who I am to go on this show and be able to take the punches that come out on TV. I do have thick skin. I have read the stuff and I can’t go “oh my god, no one likes me.” I have to go “thank god, I am where I am and I am not wasting my time writing a bunch of crap about people I don’t know.” At least you, Murtz, take the time to friggin’ interview us and get to know us and then you write it but these people are literally just wasting time on their computer writing so much bulls***. My friends from Murder In Small Town X will call me and tell me that people are saying s*** about me, and I just tell them that the same stuff happened three years ago. If I really cared what everyone in the world thought about me, then I probably shouldn’t exist as a person.

MJ: I have seen many people broken by that sort of thing.

KK: Honey, I am a Scorpio! If you friggin punch me when I am down, I will come out like a fierce lion and conquer all. Stuff like that feeds my veins and gives me more of an incentive to be more successful so I can say f*** you without actually saying it. That’s why the Dove commercial. It inspires me.

MJ: It’s not even about the money with the Dove commercial. It’s more of a slap in the face.

KK: It’s about making people just realize. Success is the best revenge. I could sit online all day and defend myself, but it’s not worth it. There’s 20 million Americans watching this show, there’s probably 300 online people writing s*** about me. They can kiss my ass. You can quote that. I don’t care what 300 computer people have to say about me. And for them I’d like to say f*** you and if they don’t like me, I’ll say f*** you again and they shouldn’t like me. That’s what I have to say about that. Hence the Dove commercial.

MJ: When do you think it is going to air?

KK: It’s probably going to take us two weeks to do. Honey, you should see the e-mails I have gotten from people through my website. You suck. You’re a C-Word. You’re a bitch, get over yourself.

MJ: I knew you’d get those e-mails…

KK: If you guys really believe that a woman of my stature gives a rat’s ass, I can’t even believe that they can get under anybody’s skin who has made celebrity status from the Apprentice.

MJ: What bothers me is how dense the people are that don’t understand that so much of it is editing. You were there for who knows how long, and they cut it down to not even 41 minutes with commercials. Obviously there are issues there.

KK: It’s funny. I mean all you can do is sit back and laugh. I would never watch Survivor and go onto a website and say that the person is a piece of crap. (Laughs). I read these and I go, oh my god… these poor people. I don’t look at them and go no one likes me. I look at them and I say “oh, you poor, poor people…” I have thought about just going and changing the entrance page of my website and having it say:

Welcome to Kristen Kirchner’s website. Thank you for visiting because whether you like me or not, the fact that you took the time to visit me means that you must like me. No matter if you realize this or not, but I like all the e-mails that you send to me. Bad press is the best press and thank you so much for caring and dropping whatever line you want to.

MJ: You remind me so much of Omarosa that it is funny.

KK: (Laughs). You can’t care. I did not get to where I got in life by caring.

MJ: Was that really you that we saw on the show or was it just an enhanced made-for-TV version?

KK: I didn’t get a lot of airtime on The Apprentice. If you go back and watch Episode 3, I don’t even open my mouth on it. When I went after Brian, I wanted to win the show. I was quiet. I was so much more censored than on Murder In Small Town X. I went off on Audrey and they never showed it. Tara called me the other day and she asked me why they are making Audrey look so good? We all hated her!

MJ: She’s probably getting good editing because she is so much younger than you.

KK: I said to NBC that they should never put me in the same room as her, or I will destroy her.

MJ: You know what has always bugged me? When people say stuff about a person that has been fired and that person can’t defend themselves.

KK: I think the funniest part was when she said that she was so tough behind-the-scenes and she was like I am a tough girl. But then when I was the project manager, she couldn’t even confront me. If someone really is that tough, then why do they keep running away? When I yelled at her and I told her that I would annihilate her, she just started crying and ran away. She couldn’t fight back. That’s how tough she is. She couldn’t take my wrath.

MJ: Could you tell me a little about other contestants that you are friends with?

KK: It’s good to be friends with Elizabeth (Jarosz).

MJ: Elizabeth is like the coolest person in the world. She’s funny. The thing about her is that I think she is evil (which I like), but she’s in denial.

KK: Here’s the deal about Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a strong person, and I think this about all of us and I think this is how we work. Elizabeth is a sweetheart. I stayed with her at Sundance for four days. She has the same exact class that I do as far as certain things go. You push any of us from the Apprentice over the edge (and including Elizabeth), the wrath is 10-fold. When you talk about Elizabeth being evil, you just mean like biting back hard.

MJ: Exactly. I have known her for awhile and it has been my life’s goal to get her to bitch somebody out. She’s just too nice! There has to be more to the story…

KK: I saw her do it! She doesn’t bitch people out. She states the facts and she doesn’t tolerate any s***. The way she does it is so classy and respectful. She’s just like “I think what you did is wrong…you shouldn’t do it again…” I was like “damn, you go girl!”

MJ: I am dying to see it! The next time you talk to her, tell her that I know it exists. I just haven’t seen it yet. I haven’t read her Inside Pulse column on what she said about you yet, but I am sure that she glowed.

KK: They’ve been nice to me.

At this point, Kristen started reading Nick Warnock’s IP Column and commenting on it as she read.

KK: I didn’t piss off my team. Everybody loved me except for Audrey. This isn’t true. I didn’t alienate my team.

MJ: That’s what everybody thinks though. That is the power of editing. I can guarantee that all of the Net Worths that I talk to in the next month are going to say great things about you.

KK: Nick’s going to get a phone call (laughs). I know that I can play the bitch role well. I know that. I talked about it with my ex-boyfriend and I said that I played the bitch role, I would probably last longer on the show. I just couldn’t jeopardize my reputation in the world.

MJ: Yeah, totally. When I heard that you were going to be on it, that’s the first thing I thought of. I said to myself that you were gold. All you had to do was play the bitch and you would be there until at least the final six.

KK: You know… I wasn’t playing a bitch on Murder In Small Town X.

MJ: I am not going to say that you were a bitch on Murder In Small Town X. I was going to say that you definitely played your game and it was just a question of how they wanted to show that. You can show it as you being adept and you being able to do things really well, or take the Apprentice-stance and make it seem like your way is the only way. It depends on the editing once again.

KK: The bottom line is that I know. I could have done what Audrey is doing. I could have. Angie told me to shut the f*** and that made her stay longer. As soon as I went after Brian in the car, I am sure that they thought that they were going to have me for awhile and after Brian was fired, I was fine with everybody. I can’t believe they didn’t show me fighting with Audrey.

MJ: Did you have a problem with Brian? We haven’t really talked about that yet.

KK: Oh yeah. I am fine with him now, he’s an nice guy but he was an idiot on the show. He made bad decisions. I could have played the bitch role and I could have totally gone psycho and done all that stuff and gone nuts in the boardroom. You know it’s funny. If you go in the boardroom and say “F*** you, you piece of s***, you scumball loser,” Donald Trump will keep you. Audrey was being her Spanish-trash style. They kept her.

MJ: I really didn’t know it was this bad. It did not come off that badly on the show. I didn’t think there was this carnal hatred.

KK: They just didn’t show it.

MJ: Why wouldn’t they?

KK: Because I made her look like such a piece of s***, and they don’t want her to look like crap. I literally was like, “you’re a piece of f****** s*** and no one likes you and you’re such a whiner and you never work and we all hate you and we all want you to get fired.”

MJ: You know who my favorite was right?

KK: Who?

MJ: Michael!

KK: I love him! He is entertaining period. Have you interviewed him?

MJ: I will right after I finish this one. I got into so much crap because I liked him and I liked you, and you guys were not the most popular players.

KK: You picked good people (laughs).

MJ: I was just annoyed because they kicked off the two biggest personalities on the show and I am hoping it’s not going to get boring.

KK: I love you!

MJ: The only one left is Bren, and now I am pulling for him. He seems to be getting a lot of airtime.

KK: Bren has these funny little quirky things about him, and they’re great.

MJ: Tell me about the Magna team. Are you down with all of them?

KK: Oh yeah, I talk to all of them. I liked Erin, I didn’t like the fact that Trump kept her because of her looks but I liked her. The reason that I got fired is because I had no issues with anyone. It was just the two people. A lot of people butted heads with Chris, but I didn’t. I got along with everyone. They didn’t get the drama from me. That’s why I am fired. Here’s the deal with getting fired early. When you get fired early, you have to basically help market the show but a lot of people are requesting me now because I speak my mind about Trump and the rest of the cast members. I am getting a lot of requests.

MJ: Anything else that you want to get out there?

KK: I know I am capitalizing on Audrey a little too much, but I am not saying anything that anybody else in the suite wouldn’t say. I think that because she was not revealed properly on the show, I can now reveal who she truly is and Murtz, I hope she actually reads all this.

MJ: So bottom line it for me. Why were you fired?

KK: Because I was the project manager.

MJ: So the only person that has been fired that wasn’t a project manager has been…

KK: Michael.

MJ: That’s BS. How do you expect people to step up? If I was playing, there is no way that I would ever step up to be a PM ever.

KK: If I knew that and my best friend in Virginia told me never to be a PM, I didn’t listen.

MJ: When I was watching it, I just kept wondering why you guys all wanted it so early.

KK: Because we didn’t watch it before. You’re right. I would have lasted longer because he wouldn’t have been able to fire me.

MJ: Dude, you and Danny could have coasted all the way to the end if you didn’t take it so early.

KK: The key is not to bitch people out, make sure everyone likes you (everybody did) and not to be the project manager. Ivana is the perfect example of Audrey. A person that sits back, doesn’t do anything and then points fingers. They also make everyone around them miserable.

MJ: If Audrey took PM, I just don’t see people listening to her.

KK: She wanted PM on my task and nobody wanted her to have it because they thought that they would lose with her. I’ll tell you. I didn’t lose. I did not get fired because I was defeated. I was the first Apprentice never to be defeated as a project manager.

MJ: Yours was more a case of having to get rid of somebody instead of firing an incompetent employee.

KK: Right. I did not lead my team to a defeat. They didn’t win either, but we didn’t lose.

MJ: Why did you send John off instead of having him help with the commercial?

KK: Because you can always split into two groups…

MJ: But if it was his idea?

KK: Because he’s the only one that knew music and they had the music appointment at 4:00 PM. He had to edit music. He wanted to edit music and also wanted to direct and I told him that he couldn’t do everything and asked him which one he wanted to do. He said he’d rather do the music. They don’t show it!

MJ: Yeah they didn’t.

KK: Let me tell you something. I said to everybody that I wanted to win and I told them that I didn’t want to be a Hitler. You guys tell me what you want to do. I asked John if he wanted to direct or do music and he said music. He asked me not to mess up his idea and I told him that I was going to work with it.

MJ: But then why was he bitching in his confessional that you screwed it up?

KK: Because he said that I didn’t put the comedy in there. But I didn’t put the comedy in there because I told Audrey and Tana to hire the models and to tell the models that we would be throwing water on them. They didn’t tell the models that when they ordered them. Then the models got upset. So John thinks that I screwed it up and that’s why I brought Tana and Audrey in the boardroom. They didn’t show that.

MJ: Yeah, you brought Tana in there even though you love her.

KK: Because I told her to tell the models and Tana did lie and say that I didn’t say that but I did. That was a big thing. The models had to know that we were going to throw water on them and she never told them.

MJ: If you hired the models, why were they so hardcore about the water?

KK: Because Tana was in charge of the models and John was in charge of the money and Tana let John go off to do the music and never asked him for the money to pay the models. They didn’t show this in the boardroom. That’s why I said that I am used to doing everything because if I didn’t have Audrey and Tana in charge of the models, I would have called and told them that we were going to throw water on them and none of this would have happened. If I had taken control of the whole thing… (I am a control freak, I have to work on that). But, this wouldn’t have happened.

MJ: Yeah, but by the same token, if you didn’t do that they would have been like she’s trying to run the show by herself.

KK: Because people can be incompetent. If I would have been in charge of the models, we would have done a lot better and the models would have been happier. I would have paid them an extra $400 (after getting the money from John) and paid them extra to have water thrown on them. We didn’t have any money! Yeah, I am PM but I can’t do everything. I put certain people in charge of stuff and I trust them because they are all A personalities. It’s funny then I get a rap of s*** in the press when no one knows what happened.

MJ: Will we enjoy what happens this season, now that you are gone?

KK: You’ll like it.

Check out KristenKirchner.com!

SirLinksalot: The Apprentice

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