Counterfeit Pennies: An Ode to Marty Jannetty

An Ode to Marty Jannetty
by Chris Biscuiti

His name is Marty,
He’s not a smarty,
One wrestler he’s been compared to
Is Matt Hardy.

He’s been getting drunk
at local gymnasium shows,
partying with the cheapest
of the Godfather’s hoes.

My friend Adam saw him once
at the hangout Mulcahy’s,
a Long Island bar
featuring underage ladies.

But does he remember the time
when HBK kicked his ass?
Sweet Chin Music
through Barbershop glass?

Does he remember the pain
of falling from grace?
Tagging with Leif Cassidy
before he wrote on his face?

Will these questions be addressed
as Jannetty returns to the ring,
Or will Kurt turn this comeback
into a mere one-night fling?

For answers we’ll tune our TVs
into Smackdown! next week,
I just hope that Marty Jannetty
gets a chance to speak!

I’ll break out the old tapes
and reminisce with renewed glee
about the times the Rockers kicked ass
circa 1993.

And so I’ll toast a glass of boxed wine
over the next few days,
to a long-forgotten hero
from tag team wrestling’s heyday.

Perhaps the Rockers will reunite
that would be a hoot,
as long as the Bushwackers
don’t follow suit.

Whoa! Hey!
Did I just say that?
I’m getting tired
like Heidenreich’s act.

I’ve digressed long enough
and it’s time to go make spaghetti,
but not before I give one last shout-out
in this ode to MARTY JANNETTY!

Finis

(That’s all for now … PEACE)

Chris Biscuiti writes exclusively for Inside Pulse.

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