Remote Destination

Go Wildcats

I grew up in Tucson, so I’ve got a bit of an attachment to the Arizona Wildcats. They are the closest thing that Tucson has to a professional sports team. Since I went to Tucson High it was great to be a Wildcat fan, because, y’know Tucson High is right across the street from the U of A. In fact we used to actually ditch class to play at the Wildcat’s practice gym.

But being a Wildcat fan hasn’t always been peachy keen. As most people know the Wildcats didn’t actually win a NCAA Championship until relatively recently (and I was away at college and missed the requisite looting and rioting.) Up until that point most of us fans were always tormented by memories of the ‘Cats getting knocked out in the first round of the tourney. Basically every year at tourney time, I hope for a win but brace for the loss.

I was watching last night’s game doing that. And as the game came to it’s dramatic conclusion the game was way too close for my taste. I had flashbacks of my some of my most traumatic memories as a sports fan. Yadda yadda yadda, the ‘Cats won, and I get to look forward to conceiving an ulcer in the upcoming week.

What I Watched Last Week

Real Time With Bill Maher – I’ve got to find a better place to get my news from. Or at least a more dependable one. This show’s not on this week!

The Simpsons – Homer and his schemes. The episode was pretty funny but the standoff at the end was favorite part.

Arrested Development – I truly hope that this show becomes the ratings giant it deserves to be. I genuinely look forward to sharing time with these characters. I really enjoy this show.

Deadwood – Oh my god! I’m so happy that medical technology has advanced in the time between when this show was set and now. Even though Al had very little time on screen this episode, he was still the most captivating character.

Mrs. Garrett is acting real pissy. She’s losing cool points from me. Seth is really in a bind, what with his “wife” actually trying to do the deed. And that dude from Yanktown, is a character, and nothing good will come from his arrival.

Carnivale – Why can’t Justin take a hint; his powers don’t work on Sophie. It’s nice that Ben’s secret is out among the carnies.

Boston Legal – This episode was cool, but something seemed a bit off for me. It just wasn’t full of the “magic” that I hoped would be there. By my roommate and I did have a discussion afterward. We talked about whether we would struggle or be calm while being executed. It’s always nice when a show leads to a good conversation.

24 – I finally caught up on three weeks worth of 24. I have to say that I think the show is cheating a bit. Erin wasn’t so much a character as she was a plot device. She was there to get Tony back in charge of CTU, so that when Michelle came back the situation would be even more uncomfortable. Besides that I’m digging the show. I was glad to see that Curtis questioned why he wasn’t promoted, but Tony is no joke.

The Shield – I like how Shane is playing “Vic” to his new partner. It almost makes me not hate him, especially since Vic’s pretty reined in right now. Poor Ronnie, he’s the only member of the Strike Team in the Barn, and he’s still basically a background character.

I’ve got to say that I appreciate the turn that Aceveda is taking. The idea that “sex” to him is now associated with “power” and “control” makes sense. And while the thought of him getting aroused from watching the tape was disturbing, it was equally compelling.

It was also nice to see a lingering plot from a previous season return, albeit in the form of a dead body. I do fear that with Close’s arrival, things on the show are too tight. She has to have a story every episode, to justify her being there. But it looks like Aceveda is going to remain a character, and with Shane having his plots intersecting with Vic’s, it looks like Dutch & Claudette, and Julian & Dani are getting squeezed out of screen time.

I really think that Close’s character is altering the dynamic of the show too much, and having a rippling effect on other characters. Vic isn’t as alluring as he was before, and Shane is moreso. Dope episode, but I don’t know if I like the new status quo.

Greatest Show Ever”¦this week – Happy Days

I happened to catch one of the later episodes, when Fonzie was like the only person left. Even Ralph was gone. Anyway this episode featured Joanie and Chachi making a guest appearance because they were going to sing on Hootenanny. But what really makes this show so great is that when The Fonz hit the jukebox, folk music began playing. How can you deny the greatness of a show that actually deals with cultural change?

The One Show I Missed

I really wanted to watch The Office. I swore I was going to watch it. I also swore that it coming on after Scrubs. But it turns out that I aired on Thursday. It occurred to me as I was going to work Thursday evening.

All day I had a nagging feeling that I was forgetting something. I just couldn’t place what I was missing. I mentally went over any of the shows that I regularly watch to see if I had anything to tape that night, and came up with nothing. So I went about getting ready for work in my usual fashion.

But on my way to work I remembered that The Office was premiering. I silently cursed myself.

Then I realized that life goes on.

Rich vs McDuck

Last week I posed the following scenario;

Good News; you’re rich. I’m talkin’ more money than you know what to do with. Bad News; you’re under four feet tall. Maybe your parents killed and you inherited the money. Maybe you just worked hard for it. Or maybe you just avoided the Net Bust. The point is you have loads of money. Bad News; you’re a cartoon character.

So Who Would You Rather Be; Scrooge McDuck (Ducktales) or Richie Rich (Richie Rich)?

This one got a huge response.

Michaelangelo was the first to chime in on this one;

Richie Rich. Come on, he had some of the coolest gadgets of all time, not to mention a dog named Dollar whose spots were dollar symbols! How f%cking bling is that? Plus, one of the all-time legendary rappers named himself after Richie. And the simple fact that you can live life as a human and not a duck, thus eliminating someone shooting you for your money AND your flavorful flesh, is just the icing on the cake.

But then Pedro responded with the quickness;

Life is like a hurricane
Here in Duck – burg
Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes
It’s a duck – blur!
Might solve a mystery,
Or rewrite history!

Ducktales! (a – whooh ooh)
Every day they’re out there making
Ducktales! (a – whooh ooh)
Tales of daring do bad and good
Ducktales!

D – D – D – Danger!
(Watch behind you)
There’s a stranger,
(out to find you!)
What to do?
Just grab on to some…

Ducktales! (a – whooh ooh)
Every day they’re out there making
Ducktales! (a – whooh ooh)
Tales of daring do bad and good
Ducktales!

Not pony tales or cotton tales, no
Ducktales!
(a – whooh ooh) .

No contest, F#ck Richie Rich. Scrooge McDuck is a self-made trillionaire. He came from Scotland with nothing but a pair of suspenders. He’s got the second best butler since Alfred. He’s got a hot on and off again girlfriend with Goldie. He’s got an awesome arch-rival in Flintheart Glomgold whose plunging him into crazy adventures. He’s got three impressionable kids who do all his heavy work on these adventures. Don’t forget the Money Bin.

There are no downsides to being Scrooge McDuck. Not even being old or a duck.

Colin concurred;

I think I gotta go with Scrooge here. Richie is too much of a do-gooder chump. At least Scrooge harumphs and scorns the proles, and ain’t nothing like a dip in the ol’ money pool. Lastly, Homer asked the question best: “Hey Krusty, don’t you hate pants?”

Patrick also agrees;

I’d rather be Scrooge McDuck. Mostly because I would rather NOT BE Richie Rich. Yes, Richie always had a girl in tow, but could you really stand Gloria’s voice for more than 10 seconds? Yes, Richie had a dog, but for as rich as his family was, I would hope you could afford a purebred. I mean, with the Dollar signs all over the dog, he kinda sorta resembled a Dalmatian, but Dalmatians just don’t have that shaggy a coat or those long floppy ears like Dollar had. Ergo, Dollar is obviously a mutt. Richie had a butler named Cadbury, but was Cadbury made out of chocolate? No! If I’m a kid and there’s something named Cadbury in my house, it better damn well be made of chocolate (But not one of those creme eggs, because those things are gross).

Now, both Richie and Scrooge got to fight criminals, but let’s face it; Scrooge McDuck had much better adventures because of this than Richie Rich did. Scrooge McDuck got a better theme song than Richie Rich, and he didn’t always have those stupid chimes every time to signify a scene change. Scrooge, true to his name, didn’t allow for this excess.

Plus, Scrooge McDuck had already made his millions. He was a success. Richie still has to grow up and maintain the family fortune. That’s an insane amount of pressure on a kid. There’s no way Richie will ever match that kind of success, so he will have less money than he does now and will probably be swindled out of most of it by that redheaded sl@t Gloria when they get married and then she divorces him.

HUGE ADVANTGE: Scrooge McDuck.

Aaron Cameron disagreed;

Hmmm…tough call. Scrooge McDuck and Richie Rich? Well, both are rich and white, so those two qualities cancel each other out right there. Scrooge is old, so he won’t likely have much more time to enjoy his bounty, whilst it’s common knowledge that Richie Rich kills himself when he realizes how hollow the pursuit of money is and returns, hundreds of years later, as Casper The Friendly Ghost. Man, I still can’t decide. You know what…suicide be damned…I’m going with Richie Rich on this one. He wears (short) pants while Scrooge wears no pants. He shares a name with a Bay Area rapper. And, most importantly, he’s not likely to ever wake up in a pool of orange sauce served with your choice of steamed or fried rice.

Before I get to my answer I’ve got to say that I really enjoyed all of the responses. I eagerly checked my email and was caught off guard at the logic used in everyone’s choices. Y’all really made this week for me, thanks.

I had my mind made up, but then I read everyone’s arguments. I’ve got admit, it caused me to rethink the thing. In the end I was back at my original choice; Scooge McDuck. 1) I’m deathly afraid of dogs, so Richie’s Dollar is out of the question. 2) Swimming in the Money Bin would be a literal dream come true. (You’ve got to respect a man who keeps is money in coin form as opposed to in bills or invested somewhere.) 3) I’ve always fancied the idea of wearing a kilt. It just seems like such a liberating article of clothing.

Of course this leads us to”¦

Good News/Bad News/Question of the Week

Good News; you’ve got a hot date. Bad News; you’re just finishing work. Maybe you do day labor. Maybe you’ve got a “good job” but forgot to put on deodorant this morning. Maybe you’ve just got a bad case of B.O. The point is; you stink. But remember to good news; your date is hot! Bad News; you’re stuck on an HBO Original Drama, set in the past.

So for the sake of hygine purposes which show would you rather be on; Carnivale or Deadwood?

Limps

Gloomchen would get props just for recapping The Shield but she also uses the term ganked. I’ve not heard that word in years. And I didn’t think Gloomy could get any cooler.

Ah ha! Coogs actually makes it up before me. He’s got some questions and answers. And that show on MTV does sound disgusting.

J.A.M.

Aaron boldly and blatantly sidesteps a direct challenge from Joe Reid. Appalling! He also gets had, took, hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray and run amok by his boss. Then he does the same to Nick. Read it and enjoy. Oh yeah, it’s about music.

Joe Reid handles the movies part of the our multimedia sandwich. He begins and ends with Oz, which is odd because there isn’t an Oz movie in development. And why is that? If there was one show that needed the big screen treatment it’s Oz. Honestly he’s got news on X-Men 3 and Scary Movie 4, two movies that remind me why I don’t go to the theater that often.

Greatest Video Ever”¦this week

Loverboy – Working For The Weekend

Any words that I use can’t properly convey the greatness of the video. I can’t do it justice so I won’t even try. Just know that this is possibly the greatest achievement in terms of videos.

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