TNA At Ringside – I’m The TNA Diva

Welcome back to ringside everyone.

So ive been dubbed the TNA Diva by Matthew as I do News, PPV Reviews, A Column, and starting today (Friday) Live Impact! Coverage. So yeah, I probably am the TNA Diva but atleast I’m Trish meaning I have the looks and the skill. Now lets take a look at what happened last week on Impact!

3/25 Impact! Recap

*Abyss/AJ Backstage: They brawl most likely leading to a match at Lockdown
*Trytan defeated Buck Quaterman: Trytan is so generic. He used the F-5, so originally named the T-3 by Tenay, to win
*Shocker & Jeff Hardy defeated Lex Lovett & David Young: Why’s Shocker teaming with The Spot Machine? I’m not lovin it
*Disciples Of Destruction defeated Shark Boy & Cassidy Riley: Typical speed vs power tag match, nothing exciting
*DDP Interview: We had to wait a week for a simple yes? Gay. Nash gets jumped backstage
*Raven/Hardy Backstage: This was weird, but will lead to a match at Lockdown most likely
*Apolo defeated Sonny Siaki: Kash and Hoyt come out and are ready for a fight. I bet this will be the Lockdown Pre-Show
*America’s Most Wanted draw Phi Delta Slam: Why are PDS being protected? Team Canada and Dustin came out with faces cleaning house

Let’s start with the likely Lockdown Main Event. That being Waltman/Nash/DDP against Jarrett/Monty/Outlaw in the Six Sides Of Steel. As I said last week, this match will be a total car wreck if everyone is in the ring at once. That will be 6 people, 7 if you want to count the ref. Nobody with the exception of Waltman can really scale the cage and jump off of it with a decent looking move. I again think TNA should opt to go with a War Games style of match. That way it wont be such a cluster until the end of the match unless they go with the elimination style match that way it doesnt have to become a cluster at all. Also adopting the War Games style would give them a leg up on the WWE. They already have a leg up because TNA used a Lumberjack Match and then on Raw the other week, the WWE used a Lumberjack Match. See TNA is one step ahead of the WWE. Anyway, back to the match. I really don’t expect much from these guys. With the exception of Monty Brown all of them have kinda over stayed their welcome. For some reason I think the World Title will be on the line with either the last man standing wins or the guy who gets the pinfall wins I dont know why I think that, maybe Jessica Simpson is blurring my concentration or maybe I’m thinking outside the box for the first time in this column but I just have that hunch

AJ against Abyss seems to be a Lock(down) for the PPV. It just depends on wether or not it will take place in the Six Sides Of Steel. Sources say it will but sources also say Abyss is in the WWE. This would be a pretty cool cage match as AJ can probably come up with so crazy things to do off the cage, possibly topping Skippers hurricanrana (although thats a tough act to follow.) I just wonder how long TNA will put off the Abyss title shot. I figure TNA will have to put the title on a face and then give Abyss the shot. I don’t see Abyss winning the title though but hey, stranger things have happened. I hope this match propels AJ back into the Main Event scene where he should have been all along. I’m not setting the bar extremely high for this match but it should be the “Match That Makes Me Pay 30 Bucks” for the PPV

Skipper against Daniels seems pretty set for Lockdown. All he has to do is beat Petey, HBCousin, and Sabin is a 4 way match. I’m not saying that the match won’t be tough but why else would they have Elix come out and basicly challenge Daniels the other week on Impact if they weren’t going to set up a match between the two? I still think this match should take place in the Six Sides Of Steel because again, what better way to have former partners end a feud than the match that ended their partnership? The match itself should be a very good match but if you give these guys a gimmick to do moves off of, it will be even cooler. You know what would be really really really awesome? A Six Sides Of Steel Ultimate X Match. They could have the wires on top of the cage forcing the wrestlers to climb the cage, then scale the wires. Ok so I’m thinking way outside of the box here, but admit it, that would be sweet

Another match that seems sure to happen is one that I called from the start…Hardy vs Raven. This match will just be another spot fest by Hardy and he will likely miss most of them because Raven isnt very big like Abyss. Im saying this will be a No DQ match but lets be real, it has to be a No DQ match or else it will really really suck. I’m sure it will be “A Ravens Rules” Match. Maybe they will bring back that Clockwork Orange House match. Im sure I butchered that match name but oh well, Jessica Simpson is still on my TV screen. If its not a No DQ match this time, it will end in a DQ setting up a No DQ match next time which would give us another month of Hardy on the mic, which is death to us all

Now we turn our attention to the X Division under-card meaning we turn our attention to nothing. TNA should learn that a bunch of throw together matches do nothing for either worker. This week on Impact! (which I will cover live from 4-5) they should build some X Division under-card matches. Let’s start with Shocker vs either Petey or HBCousin (He earns that name because Michael is too generic of a name and until they give him a real name, he is HBCousin) I prefer Petey because thats a new feud for Petey. Sabin will most likely have nothing to do so he can feud with HBCousin which is a fresh feud. I’m lost on why Petey is lost in the X Division shuffle. He really has a legit beef over losing the X Division Title. He could say something like “I never lost the title, I scaled the cables and I would have won the tug of war with Sabin. Styles just knocked the belt away from us and pounced on it, he did no work at all” or something along those lines. I mean thats legit right? I think so. Petey could continue to complain until Shocker comes out and tells him to shut up thus starting a feud. HBCousin and Sabin’s feud can start during there 4 way match on Impact. They could be fighting while Skipper wins and then they can blame each other for costing the other the match. Why am I not writing for TNA?

Next on the list…Trytan. This is really the most generic waste of time ever. He has no real unique look except for the fact that he is tall. If he was Quatermains height, I wouldnt have been able to tell them apart on Impact! You can’t just throw black tights and black boots on a worker and expect it to all work out. Did it work for Austin? Yes, because he was a bad ass with a bald head. Did it work for Lesnar? Yes, because he was muscular with that weird tatoo on his back. It’s failed many more times than it’s worked, that’s for sure. Worst of all they give him the F-5 as his finisher. That’s not horrible but atleast give it a decent name. The T-3? They went up some letters and down some numbers. Call it the “Trytan Twister” or the “Cyclone” or best of all “We Wasted 3 Months Of Promos On This Guy For Nothing” it’s a long finisher name but it’s the truth. TNA ruined the re-match with Monty Brown when they turned him so that’s out. Erik Watts is the only name I can rattle off right now that Trytan can feud with but Watts is injured I think and he sucks anyway. Trytan is a waste of time and money, dump him and use his salary to sign somebody like….CM PUNK!

And finally, why is Kid Kash STILL in tag matches? This Test look-a-like is just holding him down. Kash should be at worst feuding for the X Division title. Instead he’s wrestling a bunch of throw together teams that do nothing but de-push Kash. Am I a Kid Kash mark? Yes, you can sue me for liking him but you will admit this: Kash on the PPV Pre-Show is a complete joke. If you don’t agree with that than you clearly hate Kid Kash for one reason or another

Now for some plugs. First off, have you read Unluck 13 by Kyle? It’s a good look at the Undertakers previous Wrestlemania victims. Finally, this plug comes to you from a reader of mine. It’s a Wrestlemania 21 Preview. You see people if you e-mail me and post comments on the blog you get plugged in the column. Ah benefits.

That’s it for this week everyone. Look for my Live Coverage of TNA’s Impact! every Friday from 4-5 here at IP. You can always drop me a line at AMPLine4Life@aol.com and join me next time At Ringside.

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