In Perspective: The Dud In The Sparkler Box

I hope everyone had a happy Fourth of July, whether you chose to watch WWE RAW with friends or go do your own thing, partying and fireworks. I’ve grown up in Wilmington, NC since I was in elementary school, and for the first time in my life, decided to go downtown with friends for a cookout and to see the downtown fireworks in the historic Water Front over RAW. My family recorded it for me and I just sat down to watch the recording, I’m really glad I decided to drink Icehouse and be with friends instead. Apparently, the writers wrote RAW in such a way that with few exceptions, they themselves wouldn’t have watched it either.

What almost took me completely out of RAW: Sergeant Slaughter’s Bikini Boot Camp. Remember when I said last week how it sounds like a porno? A porno would have been a step up from what we witnessed. Even though I did sit down to watch this, I had no idea it was really 45 minutes, no wonder RAW felt like an hour. The whole wardrobe malfunction thing, if you’re going to do something cheap, might as well do it in a cheap segment (and I’m not talking about Jericho or the Highlight Reel). Gymnastics Girl did plow through that joke of a course, and apparently, this was supposed to appeal to everyone’s sexual desires with these women but I never liked the Sack Race in school, so what makes anyone think I’m going to like it now? None of this is necessary for these girls to be a Diva much less be a wrestler (God knows that seems out of the question and maybe that’s a good thing). The One Girl Who Could Do Nothing Correctly, she should go next. I wonder how many people tuned out during this nightmare of a segment to put reruns of fireworks displays on A&E or PBS on, seriously.

RAW was basically about Hulk Hogan all the way through which is a confusing message to send to the audience. He’s clearly back to put over his show, WWE wants to milk the association some more of being associated to Hogan if it’s a hit, if it’s not a hit, this should all die down. I felt it was counterproductive to have Hogan pin Carlito with his Leg Drop and get the victory. If it was only so easy for everyone else who has challenged Carlito like, I dunno, Shelton Benjamin?

I’m happy with the HBK heel turn because I thought he’d be a face for the rest of his career and because I didn’t expect it. I’m not sure what HBK heel we’re getting next week, hopefully the Shawn Michaels that wouldn’t be second main eventer for absolutely noboddddyyyy.

However, that leaves Hogan, Kane, Big Show and John Cena as the only big time baby faces of the RAW brand since Batista’s on Smackdown. That could be a problem if Hogan’s not going to work full time. I think fans are generally behind Cena and behind Kane. WWE seriously needs to work on creating characters and keeping them steady with their development and make it somewhat even in ratio. Ric Flair would be an appropriate baby face turn though I’m not sure how it could be done properly without it feeling like old guys rescuing old guys in WCW. I think fans just generally want to cheer for Flair again and cheer him anyway. I think he should expand his mentoring or give it another go being the Man that he is. Of course there is always a fun concept of bringing Matt Hardy back as a bigger star than he was since there is a door wide open for the possibility of him going after Edge again and then just staying at that level. Something’s just has to be done, I love cheering for tweeners/heels as much as anyone does but you can’t have heels become over if they have no one to bounce off their evil tactics on and that’s putting it in perspective. Hope everyone has a great week and as always, feel free to drop me a line at Bam@insidepulse.com.