WELCOME TO IP V2, WHEE!
I’m still gloomchen and I’m still here, except now they made me a boss. Not Shang Tsung, but I’ll take the Goro spot for now.
Anyway. Hope you likey! Back to columny goodness, as there’s not much else going on in the universe aside from me spending my weekend in my empty apartment singing karaoke.
I own a karaoke machine and approximately 130 discs for said machine. My best friend bought half of the machine as a gift for my birthday; she owns the other half. We purchased all discs 50/50. If anyone out there knows how much those confounded CDG discs actually cost (especially the good Sound Choice ones), you would realize what an investment this truly is.
Now, I own a really huge entertainment center. I bought it for our shared apartment. It can accommodate a television that is the size of a small town, but I only have a 25″ jobby. Plus, I don’t know if I can get it back out of the apartment now that it’s put together. It’s just a monster. It would also cause me to need a larger U-Haul than originally intended to use for when I venture north and finally escape Iowa once and for all.
My roomie made a straight trade. My $150 entertainment center for alllll the karaoke goodness.
My wallet is itching — ITCHING — to spend spend spend on more music. Like this. And this. And why can’t I find any Ultravox karaoke? I’m dancing with tears in my eyes here, people. If they can perform at Live8, I should be able to sing along.
Alice In Musicland
This just made my week, folks.
From Blabbermouth:
A spokesperson for the surviving members of ALICE IN CHAINS has told Launch that guitarist Jerry Cantrell, bassist Mike Inez, and drummer Sean Kinney are unaware of any plans for a proposed tribute album that was previously reported to be in the works. MUDVAYNE’s manager also told Launch that the album was a “rumor.”
News spread online last week that the project, titled “We Pay Our Debt Sometimes: A Tribute to Alice In Chains”, would be released through Bullygoat Records, the label founded by MUDVAYNE singer Chad Gray. Artists reportedly involved included MUDVAYNE, COLD, AUDIOSLAVE, BREAKING BENJAMIN, STATIC-X and the members of ALICE IN CHAINS themselves.
On Saturday (August 6), a BLABBERMOUTH.NET visitor by the name of Matt Davidson contacted this site to “apologize” for “fabricating” the story that resulted in the above-mentioned report. “I fabricated the ALICE IN CHAINS tribute album rumor as part of a simple experiment to see if I could get a music news rumor published on a site such as Blabbermouth,” Davidson wrote. “After I created the story, I posted the rumor in a fairly official sounding tone on exactly three music-related message forums. That didn’t stop someone, I don’t know who, from Launch Radio Networks, from running with this totally untrue rumor of Bullygoat Records releasing a tribute to ALICE IN CHAINS.”
Some of you may have seen the original “press release”; I know we were buzzing about it a bit over on the super-secret IP staff forums. While I’m not typically a fan of tribute albums (as they always end up half-filled with some of the most awful renditions of fantastic songs that you will ever hear), I was at least looking forward to hear what Mudvayne would do if nothing else. Still, in the end, I’m much happier to hear it was a hoax. Breaking Benjamin? Audioslave? Please, shoot me if either one of them thinks to touch an AIC song.
The bigger story here is the metal fan who pulled one over on Blabbermouth and other sites. Really, aside from pro wrestling, what other fanbases do things that are this childish? Okay, yes, it’s funny to send something fake to a website and be amazed at their complete lack of fact-checking; it’s a brilliant way to mock the journalistic integrity of the Internet as a whole. But what did it accomplish? It wasn’t even that noteworthy of anything to have posted. Oh, gee, some goons are working on an album. OMG, THEY’RE NOT? THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!
I swear, if it wasn’t for the music itself, I would hire myself an entire construction site’s worth of equipment and start heading to concert venues to run down metal fans. And they wonder why nobody respects metal or the community whatsoever. The vocal 90% of them are idiots who spend all day arguing with each other whether a band is black, death, or doom metal. Or metal at all. DIE.
But I have ranted on the metal scene several times before. Nothing is going to change until the genre goes highbrow. The chances of this happening are approximately 800,000 times less than your chances of winning the lottery, however. Instead, I really just steer clear of any fan forums and wait for my phone to ring. You would be surprised at how often it does.
So, yeah. There’s no news…
Ibrahim Ferrer, a leading voice with the hugely popular Buena Vista Social Club of vintage Cuban performers, died Saturday, his representative in Cuba said. He was 78.
Sad… don’t care.
Al McKibbon, a bassist who brought a masterly fusion of jazz and Latin music to the George Shearing quintet and other groups in the 1940s and ’50s, has died. He was 86.
Sad… don’t care.
Guitarist and singer “Little” Milton Campbell passed away Thursday from a stroke.
Sad… don’t care.
Melissa Etheridge is cancer-free, and I don’t care.
Suge Knight had to pay a fine for a U-turn, and I don’t care.
Some guy got shot with a BB gun trying to take a picture of Britney Spears. You know what? I DON’T CARE.
Bo Bice breaking his foot onstage? Gee, take a guess. But he’s kinda sexified, so I’ll give him a get-well otter.
Can the world please be interesting the next time I have a column to write?
Band vs. Band
This lovely suggestion brought to you by none other than IP’s very own Michaelangelo McCullar: it’s battle of the prog nerds, YES vs. Rush.
The histories of these bands could go on like small novels unto themselves. Yes was formed in the late ’60s around the core of singer Jon Anderson and bassist Chris Squire. Eventually rounding out their best-known and most-loved lineup with Bill Bruford, Steve Howe, and Rick Wakeman, the band reached what would be the pinnacle of their career commercially for many years with 1971’s Fragile. If nothing else, even those unfamiliar with Yes’ repertoire as a whole can pick out the acoustical strains of “Roundabout,” and many can instantly place Wakeman’s insane 12+ keyboard setup when noting distinctive features of the band.
There were dozens of lineup changes over the years; it wasn’t until 1983/1984 that the band once again achieved a mainstream hit with “Owner of a Lonely Heart,” which was also quite the deviation from their prior works. There was plenty of disbanding and reformation, up to and including dispute over who was entitled to use the name Yes, until eventually the group settled and toured quite extravagantly in the early ’90s. Since then, they have been quietly releasing albums to their dedicated fanbase.
It’s fair to say that Yes has been credited as the best band of the progressive genre stemming from the era when prog was at its height. They are nearly the gold standard when it comes to creating sonic landscapes, forgoing any sense of standard songwriting and instead creating an atmosphere that carries the listener with intricacy and rich texture. Compadres such as King Crimson and Genesis lept into completely different directions over the years while Yes primarily continued to nurture the sounds that brought them to the heights of their popularity, occasionally drifting into a bit of dance or harder-edged rock, but usually maintaining their sense of ethereal, almost cosmic sound.
Forming only a handful of years after Yes was the Canadian prog-rock trio of Rush. While they began more Zeppelin-esque and slid into progressive territory, all but their first album consists of vocalist/bassist Geddy Lee, bassist Alex Lifeson, and drummer Neil Peart. Known very well for Peart’s Tolkien/Rand-influenced lyrics and the entire band’s grandoise musicianship, Rush was easily a band that was eaten up by prog geeks the world over.
Seminal albums like 2112 and Hemispheres put Rush on the map. And towards the end of the ’70s into the ’80s, Rush enjoyed quite a run of commercial success in the US as well. “The Spirit of Radio,” “Tom Sawyer,” and “New World Man” took off and landed the band on the charts many times over. Diving more headlong into their original rock forte as the ’90s began, Roll the Bones and Counterparts were equally heralded by longtime fans. While tragedy in Peart’s life slowed down (and nearly killed) the band as the millennium closed, the band did return with their 17th album in 2002, Vapor Trails.
Much like Yes, Rush also has a rabid fan following. Known for what may be called pretentious over-playing and deliberately out-there lyrics, this has done nothing to quell the oceans of people who continue to eat up everything pushed by the band. Critics have both criticized and lauded Rush over the years, but moreover, it’s their fanbase who kept them going strong moreso than even their commercial successes.
Clearly, Yes was labeled the more talented and artistic of the two bands; however, non-progressive audiences paid more heed to Rush in the long run, spawning them far more success in North America and keeping them still in a decent amount of spotlight. While both bands still exist, Yes seems to have flown much farther under the radar. Both bands have a ton of quirks that made pure mainstream success somewhat of a challenge, between Yes’ lack of “standard” songwriting structure and Rush’s nasal vocals by Lee combined with lyrics one may sum up as “nerdy”. Or, more simply, Yes is tedious while Rush is annoying. Still, they’re both revered and followed by long-term fanbases that will make them money for as long as they continue to release material.
Who wins? Yes is the obvious artistic winner, while Rush is the clear vote for anyone who enjoys hard rock. The only thing they have in common is the progressive thread, which Yes long ago ran with like no other while Rush merely incorporated its elements into popular rock music. Both are the very picture of bombast and talented beyond belief, but for the masses looking for enjoyment, Rush had the better grip on what people enjoy. We’ll give this one to the Canadians — so long as they never write another song about Internet love ever again. My god, that song was terrible.
Your Band Here
Once again, lookie! Discover yourself some new bands who haven’t yet come close to breaking into the big time. And if you have an act you’re promoting, feel free to toss a link at me.
Mach FoX (also on MySpace)
A Minneapolis act in my column? Are you kidding? Alright, here’s what to expect: they’re very much a retro-sounding electronic band. Guitars? Sure, every now and again. Vocals? Think somewhere between the new romantic era of the ’80s and straight-out goth. Tons of samples, tons of complete randomness that doesn’t necessarily seem like it fits into its given slot. At times it sounds like a random bleepy-bloopy experiment gone awry, and other times it’s just straight electropop.
Highlight: Really weird, ambient stuff that will impress computer music geeks. “Omni” is a really nice track on the poppier side of stuff.
Lowlight: It’s all definitely amateur as all hell, lacking focus. Neat sound and neat ideas, and their track on TC Electropunk Vol 2 shows a lot of promise, but there’s still plenty of work to be done.
Pattern of Analysis (on MySpace):
Welcome to New Jersey, home to a whole lot of death metal. These guys bring a lot more to the table than some of the unsigned death metal I’ve heard, which would generally be a lot of people just trying to play hard and fast with growls. Instead, Pattern of Analysis does their fair part to incorporate some quieter elements, switching up rhythm every now and again, and generally showing a decent amount of ability hiding under a sound that seems all too prevalent these days.
Highlight: They’re pretty fun; “Handjob Cheesesandwich” wouldn’t exist among the repertoires of most super-“true” bands. I mean, attempts at jazz improv usually wouldn’t be welcome.
Lowlight: Hopefully they hand the production over to someone with know-how next time. And perhaps work on some memorable hooks of some type, any type. I know it’s death metal and all and you’re not looking to make a catchy chorus, but there is absolutely nothing in the music as it stands that makes me crave hearing a song again.
Black Ice (also on MySpace):
Well, this is rather interesting. We’ve got ourselves a Misfits tribute band that since branched out and started performing original music. It’s still in the horror punk type vein, and doesn’t really stretch beyond something that one would expect to hear from the Misfits, but that’s the point. If you dug the band, it’s as if they never went away. Right?
Highlight: Same musical ideals as The Misfits, surely. “Soccer Mom Must Die” is arguably one of the best song titles in existence. And they do hold pretty true to the Misfits sound, covers or no.
Lowlight: Uhh, yeah, lack of originality. But what did you expect? At least you know just by description whether or not you’ll like it. I’m not sure they would appeal to anyone BUT Misfits fans.
My Opinion Matters I’m Lazy So Here’s A Mailbag
I’ve had enough opinion this week already anyhow. Time to just answer some questions.
From John Haley:
When are you going to update your profile?
Hah, I like mailbags. These are easy!
Longtime reader Jon Seibel asks me a boatload of questions:
Minnesota?!? Why Minnesota? Iowa winters aren’t cold enough? Why not someplace like… oh, Florida?
Because I like Minneapolis! It’s like a really HUGE version of my town but with TONS more stuff to do, never mind an actual “music scene,” something which I have wanted my entire life. And let’s not forget to mention that I am in lurrrrrrve. And I like to pet Lucard’s bunny. That’s not in any way meant to be construed as a perverted statement.
What’s your take on the way The Gathering have changed & progressed over time?
Oh my. Well, there’s the super early death metal stuff, and that was rather bland. They switched around vocalists, becoming more symphonic, and they still didn’t do anything for me really. Then came miss Anneke van Giersbergen; the next two discs were still quite heavy and just thinking about them now got “Nighttime Birds” stuck in my head. They started getting weird on How To Measure A Planet? and extended this into if_then_else without completely going full-on quirky on Souvenirs.
And I wouldn’t have any of it any other way. I love it all — The Gathering is one of my favorite bands of all time. It’s clearly a bunch of metalheads that started to mature and delve into the experimental. It wasn’t trendhopping or selling out to say the least, because nobody sounds like them and they are releasing records on their own without a label.
Now comes the part where I sulk because they’re coming out with a DVD and I’m crossing fingers and toes that it will be region-free. Otherwise, I’m going to have to purchase me a new player. Yep.
A coupla wks. ago you posted the lyrics to a song from an obscure hair-metal band. What band was it? Seriously, I spent about 3 evenings trying to find the lyrics online, but no luck, & I’m still curious.
I TOLD you guys that Google could not help you! I Googled for them first and came up empty, hence why I had to transcribe from memory. But anyway — the songs, yes.
1. Roxy Blue, “Nobody Knows,” from the album Want Some?
2. Slik Toxik, “By The Fireside,” from Doin’ the Nasty
3. Wildside, “Just Another Night,” from Under the Influence
I sold all of those discs on eBay for a nice chunk of change.
How many genres of music can you name w/ “wave” in the name?
Oh, a puzzle? New Wave, No Wave, NWOBHM (New Wave of British Heavy Metal), Third Wave Ska. I tried cheating and Googling after I came up with those four and couldn’t land myself into any others. Am I missing something obvious?
So, I take it you don’t want any fetish gear from Hot Topic, right?
That is not fetish gear. That is crap.
Finding some neat t-shirts there, however, is something I will excuse. But do not go there for the gothy/punk shit; I mean, hello. Pink is neither deviant nor evil. The Gothsicles will make songs about you and I will watch you cry.
The Rad Ones
One big link for Fernandez this week. It’s all about the otters, baby.
Well here’s a big fat freakin’ link to Moodspins because I never, ever link to Moodspins. But now they’re on the main page! You can actually note their existence! HOORAY!
Speaking of, Moodspins is now part of the Culture section (which I would love to link but it just doesn’t exist yet as of this writing — you can find a link to it somewhere on the left I’m sure), a project started in the vein of Alex Lucard’s Nyogtha with items about food, literature, and other non-pop-culture type stuff. As much as I would love to be a part of something like that, you know I have no culture coming from Iowa. Heh.
Oh, you know what? V2 is just plain neat and there’s no point in me trying to direct you around when things are that much easier to find. Just start breaking your little clicking finger… when you’re done here, OF COURSE.
Although, wait… totally unrelated to the site, here is the greatest Flash ever. Let it load, then mouseover the happy smilingness. Man, it totally made my day.
Outro
I’m sapped.
So, just some lyrics, and then I’ll get out of your hair.
How I miss you
How I miss you
How I miss you
I should never call
How I hope that you still miss me
Did I lose you?
Did I lose you?
Did I lose you?
Somewhere down the line
Hide and seek’s alright if I find
Do you miss me
Like I miss you
If you miss me,
Never go away
Hopefully, you’ll come stay someday
If you’re leaving,
Come back soon
That’s not easy to say
I’ll wait here,
Dream of you
All alone as I ache
I have no thoughts for another as we circle each other,
–gloomchen.
