1-900-Idiot-Savant
Pumpkin Farmers, Zombies, Esthero, Twisted Testicles in Tight Trousers and Gimmick Stealing A Plenty!
Once you have indulged in one of the best videos to have been released this year, you will then need to go and take a trip down Kinda Old Music Lane and pick up The Eels “Hey Man, Now You’re Really Living”, for it is good, and you will enjoy it.
Finally, if you are even a casual fan of hockey, join in with me as I point and laugh at the Toronto Maple Leafs. For anyone who would be interested, I would like to start a John Ferguson pool and predict when exactly this poor schmuck is going to get fired. Question: does ‘TO’ now stand for Terrible Offense? Ha! Ha! Ha! Comedic gold to be had here, folks! Why the hell do you think there is an ‘idiot’ in 1-900-Idiot-Savant?
Really, though, this looks to be a pretty miserable year for the Maple Leafs, and I for one am glad to see it. At least this year the Pumpkin Farmer‘s team might actually stand a chance this year in the playoffs.
This column is coming to you while I should be busy working on a multitude of other, important projects. Y’see, yrs. truly is actually going to be moving to Terrible Offense in 2 days time now to pursue a career in Flower Arranging and Motorcycle Maintenance. Or maybe I’m going to try and become a journalist. Use the first option if you think I’m ‘gay’ and ‘suck’, I suppose. Moving is a pain in the ass, especially when you do not own your own vehicle and the assholes over in OPEC think it’s great fun to slam the price of fuel right through the roof. Thanks, assholes. I try to be eco-conscious and use public transit, walk, etc. whenever I can, and the ONE time I need to actually need to be a polluting, poisoning jerk, I have to pay through the nose for it. Someone should think about going to war out there andâ€â€oh. Right.
Anyway, I’m not 14, and this isn’t a Live Journal, so enough bitching and moaning about my personal life. Not that any of you particularly CARE about it. So, let’s see if I can get to talking about something worthwhile and, oh, music related.
‘Pimp’les
Mathen recognizes that I am a man of letters, an educated fellow who is attending the Univercity of Toronto, and a stickler for detail.
Aaron‘s glad to have me back, but isn’t respectful of my delicate self-esteem or understanding of how self-critical I can be. I’m a FLOWER, BOOTLEG! DON’T TRAMPLE ME! I NEED TO BLOSSOM!
Wow. That got decidedly emo. Next thing you know I’ll be butchering a Queen/Bowie classic while parading around like some coked up, androgynous, New Wave idiot while 14 year olds send their underwear to me. Yeah, time to shift gears. Oh, and for those of you still reading, Aaron was fired earlier today. The Bootleg is looking to join the independent wrestling circuit and start up a tag team with Lance Storm.
In other news, Grutman has sworn out a blood oath for my head!
Gloomchen“¦”¦..who I hear enjoys”¦”¦”¦.ellipses”¦”¦..has another”¦.dandy”¦.. “¦ “¦ of a column”¦”¦”¦”¦up and running”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦. this week. Check it out. Also, Madonna’s aura of respect dried up right around the time everyone started dry heaving from seeing the Grandmother of Pop neck with Ms. Spheres at the VMAs. What the hell am I talking about? Why don’t you click on the link and find out.
Jeff appears to have gone missing this week. With the return of Warren Woo, does this mean that there can only be one?
What I Like About You
Well, last column I talked about releases that weren’t exactly living up to expectations, or were just downright terrible. Since being all doom and gloom about things isn’t a healthy way to be living your life, and since I’m not an eternal pessimist (just on Wednesdays, usually”¦), I’m going to provide y’all with some releases that I’ve picked up or have been able to sample, as well as stuff that’ll hopefully live up to the hype, but I haven’t heard yet. Oh yeah, speaking of crap that didn’t live up to the hype, you can add Weeze’s crappy disc to the pile of 2005 disappointments. How that one completely snuck past me 2 weeks ago, I’ll never know.
In A Coma – Matthew Good (A best of disc that combines a both Matt’s work as part of the Matthew Good Band, in addition to his solo work. There is a deluxo-mega-sized-value-meal version of this disc coming out that features a second disc of acoustic tunes that have been reworked, in addition to a video of Matt’s videos. As someone who got into MGB because of the videos (expertly done by Wayne Livesey, iirc), I’m looking forward to this release in September. The album will also have 2 ‘new’ tracks, “Oh Be Joyful” (a completely brand spankin’ new studio track recorded with Limblifter/Age of Electric alumni Ryan Dahle), as well as “Pony Boy”, a never before released b-side from the Audio of Being sessions. I’ve heard both tracks and am eagerly looking forward to the acoustic disc.)
Twin Cinema – New Pornographers (This was a release that just came out last Tuesday. Fans of the OC may recognize the vocal stylings of one AC Newman, whose track ‘Miracle Drug’ was included on one of the samplers that is tied into the show. As a side note, I heartily suggest checking out Mr. Newman’s solo album, as it’s full of indie-pop goodness. The New Pornographers are no different, having re-defined the meaning of ‘catchy’ with their music. Not exactly Slayer in terms of something hard hitting, but a damn fine listen in it’s own right. Plus it’s got Neko Case. Everyone loves the Neko!)
Wikkid Lil’ Grrls – Esthero (Yeah, I guess us Canadians are nothing more than a dumb bunch of illiterate jerks who can’t seem to get simple spelling right. That, or Ms. Esthero’s long anticipated follow-up to her ’98 full length simply took so long because she was busy ‘pwning newbs’ in Counterstrike. Recommended if you actually enjoyed the Gwen Stefani disc, or are looking for something that’s sexy, fun and just a little bit off the beaten path.)
Constant Lover – Magneta Line (Yet another Canadian artist gets props here. Sensing a trend yet? They’re also quite poppy and worth checking out. Constant Lover is an EP, unfortunately, but it’s well worth the price.)
Infiniheart – Chad VanGaalen (A –local- boy! I’ve heard Chad perform a couple of times around town, and he has a new one out now. If you’re a fan of the one man acoustic shows, I strongly suggest you check out Mr. VanGaalen’s work. The dude opened for the PIXIES ferchrissakes, how CRAZY is that?)
Late Registration – Kanye West (Okay, so no, I haven’t heard this album, although I’m sure it’s been leaked 8 ways til Sunday by now so really, I have no excuse for having not had a chance to listen to it. This spin had the dubious honor of garnering 5 stars from Rolling Stone”¦something which was a point of discussion in the Inside Pulse Hall of Justice last week. I liked his last album, and this upcoming one should be just as good. We shall see, though, we shall see.)
Plans – Death Cab For Cutie (I’ve heard 2 song from this album thus far and I’ve been impressed with what I’ve heard. My previous DCFC experiences were somewhat underwhelming, for a band that has such a rabid fanbase, I was expecting something far greater. But then, I enjoyed the Postal Service record, and this album seems to be learning more towards a Postal Service sound. Certainly one I’m going to try and pick up if my budget lets me.)
Love Kraft – Super Furry Animals (C’mon. It’s the Super Furry Animals. Only the best UK group to come up with the ULTIMATE CD packaging for their albums! Oh, and they make really good music, too. I was introduced to these guys by a long-gone ex-co-worker of mine, and I have to say I loves me some Super Furry Animals. No, not in that way. Well, okay, maybe after a couple of Jacks. “¦Shit, we’re still recording?)
The Craft – Blackalicious (I own Blazing Arrow and find it to be a really fun album to listen to. Everything I’ve heard from Blackalicious has been quite good and I see no reason as to why their forthcoming album won’t be just as good. Seriously, go and find Blazing Arrow if you are able to because, man, that’s a hot sauce hip hop album.)
Excerpts From The Diary Of Todd Zilla – Grandaddy (I know one Winnipeg girl who is squealing in glee at news of these guys releasing a new album. More indie rock for you to slog through and digest, but hopefully another standout release in a year that’s been somewhat lackluster in terms of new releases.)
Extraordinary Machine – Fiona Apple (I don’t think anything needs to be said here. Either you love Fiona or you hate her, and I’m not going to try and sell her to you either way. Nevertheless, look for this puppy the first week of ROCKtober. And yes, I realize the irony of having a decidedly un-ROCKING babe start off the month of ROCKtober. Die in a fire while listening to Hilary Duff, k?)
Broken Social Scene – Broken Social Scene (Broken Social Scene…became the media darlings of the indie scene with their debut release You Forgot It In People, this disc should be an apt follow-up and should be just as good. Avoid if you’re not a fan of the whole experimental rock stuff these guys are good adept at.)
Live It Out – Metric (Think The Killers, with a female lead singer, but done properly. Another Canadian group who look to be having a blowout year with their sophomore release. Check it out if you like the dancy, poppy stuff that’s been clogging the airwaves as of late.)
How Strange Innocence – Explosions In The Sky (I first heard of these guys on a Peel Session on BBC Radio 1 (RIP John Peel). Totally instrumental, these guys create absolutely beautiful music that’s completely worth listening to, even if instrumental music normally isn’t your bag. This is probably going to be one of the releases I’m MOST looking forward to in ROCKtober.)
Noowz
Alright, the RIAA are a bunch of pinheads. They’re money-grubbing highwaymen who are living in a world of delusion and idiocy. As such, it’s my self-appointed job to sock it to them every time I am able to. That said, check out >this link, which is a fascinating read from the folks at Wired, where they go out of their way to highlight what colossal fools the RIAA shysters are. Organized crime does not equal some pimply 14 year old retard running a warez network on daddy’s home PC, f*cksticks. And no, they aren’t a terrorist cell working in concert with Osama.
Since I can, like, NEVER shut up about P2P related news and the impact it has on the music industry, let’s devote another paragraph ranting about this. Looks as though those lucky Brits are getting it right again. In a nutshell, Playlouder has signed a massive deal with SonyBMG, opening up their catalogue in one of the first ‘unlimited’ downloading programs available. I’ve always maintained that focusing on a per song format has been the wrong approach, and it looks like some enterprising fellows are starting to explore different, non-iTunes related ways of selling music digitally. Good for them.
Warner is attempting to work another angle with electronic distribution, coming up with an ‘eLabel’, that’ll make ADD sufferers feel as though they’ve transcended some sort of musical nirvana. See, instead of putting out full length records which would have one marginally good track and a slew of abysmal, horrible, very-much-like-what-goes-into-hotdogs filler, Warner is now instead focusing on ‘mini-releases’, putting out 3 or so tracks every couple of months. Because, really, what the industry needs are even MORE excuses to saturate the goddamned market with Ciara or whoever.
What’s more interesting about this, though, are some comments made by Edgar Bronfman Jr., who feels that governmental controls shouldn’t get in the way of exploring new business models (the Internet), but he doesn’t feel all that opposed to government legislation to monitor and filter us filthy heathens, as well as charging us levies for our blank CDs and iPods, as this is all about the ARTISTS, right? I mean, I’m sure all those iPod taxes would go and help out such struggling artists like Clay Aiken! I mean, Christ, have you seen that guy? He NEEDS to eat.
If you like remixing stuff, the Beastie Boys have got a deal for you. Similar to what Trent Reznor did with the tracks from ‘The Hand That Feeds’ and Jay-Z before him, the Beastie Boys are encouraging their fanbase to go nuts with their material.
Garbage are rumored to be breaking up, as they have canned all European shows, citing a ‘heavy workload’ with their 2005 world tour. Uhh, right. Wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you simply couldn’t come up with a worthy successor to the self titled disc, right? Ah well, Shirley, if you’re reading this and are looking for something to do, gimme a call. Oh, and bring that nurse’s outfit you wore in your last video, okay?
According to Johnny Rotten, Bono’s whole ‘fix the world’ schtick isn’t working. In fact, according to the Sex Pistols ring leader, “He’s crushing his testicles in tight trousers for world peace.” Ouch.
mp3 Listings
Recommended listening for those of you:
Tragically Hip – “New Orleans Is Sinking”
Led Zeppelin – “When The Levee Breaks”
Simon & Garfunkel – “Bridge Over Troubled Water”
Guns & Roses – “November Rain”
Rush – “High Water”
Tool – “Flood”
Lou Reed – “Martial Law”
And”¦okay, I was looking for an excuse to throw in the Hip song because of current events and”¦yeah, alright Jeff, I’m sorry for hijacking your schtick.
I’m Trevor, but I hear my name is Mud. That’s all for this week, see ya in two.
