Welcome to the last SmackDown on Thursday nights. Didn’t realize it was so soon, huh? Well, Friday night SmackDown starts next week, and getting personal, this may as well be one of the last SmackDowns I will be able to see in a long time, so lets hope it’s a good one.
– From: Jacksonville, Florida
– Hosts: Tazz & Michael Cole
Heidenreich vs. Joey Mercury
No point in even mentioning all the outside interference here. Mercury plays rabbid attack jobber to start but gets knocked down with a pair of clothselines. Mercury bails on a big boot but after inteference from MNM allows Mercury to spear Heidenreich off the apron for more MNM interference. Dropkick by Mercury leads to a rear naked choke. Heidenreich spins it off and brawls Mercury down for a corner clothseline and big boot. Mercury scouts a back body drop but Animal trips Mercury up allowing Heidenreich to hit a sitout powerbomb for the V.
Winner: Heidenreich
*, slightly better than last week’s similar match, but nothing really to say.
… and the old fashioned tag team brawl occurs in the ring afterwards, ending with Melina getting set up for the Doomsday Device which would have been nice if it had hit and ended it, but MNM break it up and continue the much too long assault. MNM hit the double team move which is apparently now titled “Snapshot” on Heidenreich to end it.
“The Network” guy chats with Jillian Hall backstage, ending with Stacy and Christy walking in and the network guy telling them that he was just doing his job last week breaking up the fight. Then he books a “diva’s wrestling match” between them for later tonight. Doesn’t get any more specific then that.
Commercials.
Cowboy Bob Oldton is in the ring, and it’s funny because when they showed his name across the bottom of the screen it had the old golden WWF logo. For a bit of rant time, isn’t it ironic how Orton keeps getting no-build up matches like tonight against Mysterio and a few weeks ago against Benoit? Anyway, Orton comes out and does a daddy praise speech, saying that Bob said that every legend would fall at his feet, and he was absolutely right. Orton aks everyone in the audeince if they have seen the Undertaker, because he hasn’t, but he can smell that they respect the Undertaker. Well, if they do, then they will go to WWE.com and bid on the Undertaker DVD signed by Orton and Orton. Orton mentions Mysterio which gets a huge pop, and plugs Rey being a bad father unlike Bob.
Commercials.
Josh Mathews pimps the US title rematch as we go back to last week featuring Benoit making coffee in the 25 seconds that it took Benoit to defeat Jordan, and this time has Mathews time him urinate, which winds up being 23 seconds.
Chris Benoit (c) vs. Orlando Jordan – United States Title Match
Jordan attacks to start but Benoit quickly counters to the crossface to end it in 23.4 seconds.
Winner and STILL champion: Chris Benoit
-no rating-, hooray for Benoit bullying jobbers.
I know WWE thinks it’s mandatory to draw out feuds these days, but is it REALLY neccesary for this one to still be going on? Seriously, wouldn’t it be all around better if Benoit was given a new US title feud and OJ go back to work on fundamentals on Saturday nights?
Commercials.
Stacy Kiebler vs. Christy Hemme
Sylvain Grenier interupts things before they get started. He tells them to look at the way they dress, the truth is, comparing the sexiness and style of Stylvain to Stacy and Christy, is like comparing a supermodel to a fat actress. This cues out Bob Holly who says that nobody cares about Sylvain, because he just wants to see some “really hot girls get it on.” Sylvain calls him Bobby and Holly punches him causing Grenier to bail. Actually pretty funny stuff with Grenier repeatedly calling Hardcore Bobby, probably because it reminds me of something I would hear myself saying.
-no rating-
Commercials.
Teddy pimps Friday Night SmackDown with The Network, which now on the card is MNM vs. LOD, and Batista vs. JBL which is now a bullrope match, which came from JBL’s request. The Network says that he gave JBL the night off. Teddy makes a match for next week, Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero in a steel cage match. They’re really pulling out all the stops.
Christian does guest commentary for the folling match featuring, in Christian’s wise words, “Mr. and Mrs. T” Christian recalls that he had a broken nose and that is why he abandoned Booker last week. Unfortunately this means no Peep Show tonight.
Of course Mr. K does his pre-match rant on the mic bashing Chimmel, which was actually pretty funny this time. He wonders if Booker can dig that, so Booker attacks him.
Booker T vs. Ken Kennedey
After brawing Booker gets a powerslam and sidekick which gets 2. Booker with the chest chops and back body suplex. Kennedy ducks a kick and nails a spin kick of his own. Kennedey gets a snake eyes and kicks in the corner, but Booker fights back only to receive a knee to face. Booker however comes back with chops of DOOM, which doesn’t last as Kennedey hits a knee lariot. Another knee from Kennededy off the ropes and follows up with two more knees and a chest chop. Booker comes back with a high kick as they both go down. Booker fights back and hits a crossbody for 2. Kennedy counters a spinebuster and drops Booker on the top rope, then hits a neckbreaker off the ropes for a 2 count. Booker doesn’t sell long though, getting a pair of clothelines and spin kick. Kennedey scouts a back drop but to no avail as Booker get a spinebuster. Spinaroonie and spin kick. Sharmell steals Christian’s headset and calls Christian a coward, but meanwhile back in the ring, Kennedey follows Booker up top and hits the second rope rolling senton for the win.
Winner: Ken Kennedey
**1/4, a surprisingly good match with equally good ending that caught us off guard, and Christian’s commentary saved some of the bad spots.
Commercials.
Simon Dean makes his way out on the Dean Machine a.k.a segway thing. See, if you read my Velocity reports you would have already known that. Dean says that Batista used the Simon System, and didn’t win the World Heavyweight Title until he started using the Simon System. Cue out Batista, who says that he would like to try Simon’s product, because he is “into fitness.” Think so?
Batista vs. Simon Dean
A lot of dominating and various comedy spots involving Simon System products, but the only part you need to know is that the Batista Bomb finished Dean off early.
Winner: Batista
-no rating-
Commercials.
William Regal & Paul Burchill vs. Scotty 2 Hotty & Funaki
For those of you who have no idea who in the hell Paul Burchil is, he got involved in the Regal-Hotty feud last week on Velocity. Regal takes Funaki down early and tags in Burchill who gets hiptosses by Funaki, and monkey flip out of the corner. Burchill gives Funaki a hard whip to the corner and tags in Regal who gives Funaki a modified cobra clutch. Funaki tries getting a tag but Regal suplexes him and tags in Burchill who drops a knee for 2. Uppercut by Burchill leads to a double team assault with Regal, who locks in a full nelson but Funaki gets out and tags. Scotty cleans house and tosses Regal in illegaly. All 4 men in, and the faces get a double team back drop. Regal gives Scotty a cheap shot from the outside allowing Burchill to hit a shoulder breaker and then lock in an arm bar forcing Scotty to immediately tap out.
Winners: William Regal & Paul Burchill
*1/4, I sure don’t think after all the hype that the feud is going to end there either.
Commercials.
Guerrero cuts a promo from behind a piece of cage wall, and apparently thanks to the brilliant booking of Theodore Long playa, the custody feud continues. If you’ve seen one thing dealing with the Mysterio-Guerrero feud (which I KNOW you have), you know what Eddie raved about here.
Commercials.
Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio
So we get another Orton match, which usually isn’t a problem but now we have to deal with the “Bob factor” per se where after every couple of moves Randy must stop and have a conversation with dad, which is pretty rediculous considering what he has already accomplished in his career before this angle ever happened. So, we’ll see if that changes from his match last week. Orton dumps Mysterio to start and back in gets a shoulder takedown. Rey gets a tilt-a-whirl head scissors and forces Orton to chase him around the ring until Rey hits a 619 to nobody which sends Orton outside divind through the ropes. Rey goes up and hits the 10 counted punches, then follows with a kick to Orton’s knee. Orton gets a kick to the gut to stop the offense and slides Mysterio outside for the dramatic commercial lead-in. Cut into Orton working over a rear-naked choke, and on replay we see Rey get flattened off a hard whip to the corner. Orton takes the choke to the ground until forced to break it. Knee drop follows and Orton does some vintage “short” jokes if you will on Mysterio. Rey with a series of kicks to Orton’s leg and a dropkick to the knee sends Orton down. Orton however sends Rey back down and then gets a delayed atomic drop and he chokes Rey into the turnbuckle. The uppercut gets a 2 count. Orton goes back to the rear-naked choke and slams Rey down after he attempted to break it. Mysterio counters a suplex and rolls Orton up for 2. Rey gets caught off a springboard but counters that counter into a bulldog, and both men are down. Rey with the pin and a close 2 count. Mysterio off the ropes but meets a dropkick to the gut by Orton for 2, and another pin for 2, and another for 2. Mysterio lifts the legs as Orton attempts a second rope elbow drop. Ortong ets out of 619 position and gets knocked down with a springboard crossbody for 2. Forearm uppercut by Randy gets 2. Springboard seated senton by Mysterio gets 2. Enzigiri by Rey gets 2. Orton quickly plants Rey into the turnbuckle. Rey counters the RKO with a kick to the face. Mysterio with a leg scissors that sets up the 619 which connects. Rey sets up on the apron but Cowboy Bob trips Rey up which allows Orton to hit an odd type of low blow, a uppercut to the groin in mid-air. Orton sets Rey up on top and then hits a Super RKO for the 3 count.
Winner: Randy Orton
***, would have kind of liked to see a cleaner finish, but nonetheless a great TV main event and a real reliever compared to the rest of the show.
The Aftermath: Not much to say about this week’s show except major Friday Night SmackDown pimpage, and you couldn’t really expect a huge lead-in show since the Friday night card is already stacked. Some quick matches here and there, but followed up by a superb main event. Make sure to check back here next week for the premiere of Friday Night SmackDown.
— Mark —
