Great-ing Gimmicks of the Past: Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry (Part 2)

Previously on Great-ing Gimmicks of the Past…

Mark Henry fell in love with Chyna. Sadly, this relationship ended in tragedy as Chyna hooked up Mark with her friend Sammy, who was secretly a man.

And now, our story continues…

Great-ing Gimmicks of the Past: Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry (part 2) – WWF, 1999-2000

History
After being brutally dumped by Chyna, Henry showed his resilience the next week on Raw by immediately hitting on Debra. That led into a mini-feud between Henry and D’Lo and Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart.

It took a few months for Henry to recover. After feuding with D’Lo Brown, by December Henry was ready to love again.

On December 13th, the Godfather had just come out when the Titantron lit up with another mysterious GTV clip. This time, it was Mark Henry lying in bed and raving about the greatest sexual experience of his life. Suddenly, the camera pulled back to reveal…

Mae Young.

Henry came out and declined the Godfather’s hos, then soundly defeated the Godfather himself. After the match, he and Mae left arm-in-arm.

The next week, Mae and Moolah were tag-teaming in a triple threat match against the Dudleys and the Acolytes. After Bubba Ray pinned Mae, Mark Henry ran out and cleaned house.

That led to a match on Smackdown, where Henry got a shot at revenge on Bubba Ray. He read a poem, and then the match was on. Things were going badly for Henry, as Bubba had brought out D-Von. Finally Mae and Moolah appeared to neutralize D-Von, while Henry got the win. After the match, the women ran the Dudleys out of the ring.

On the 27th’s Raw, Mark Henry had a problem. Moolah needed a date. After a littler persuasion (consisting of an ear pinch), Harvey Whippleman agreed.

The date started off poorly. After Henry read a poem to Mae, Harvey was forced to do the same for Moolah. Unfortunately, this was the best he could come up with:

Roses are red
Violets are blue.
My breath stinks
And yours does, too.

Next, a fan walked up and got Henry’s autograph. After securing his prize, the fan mentioned how Henry lost at the Olympics and lost in wrestling, then asked why Henry sucked so bad. That caused Mae and Moolah to attack the guy, which led to Henry and Harvey having to pull them back.

The night ended with Henry and a cigar-smoking Mae lying in bed together. Then Moolah popped out from under the covers. Then Harvey popped out as well.

Smackdown saw Moolah and Mae taking on Hardcore and Crash Holly. The Hollys easily won.

The new year opened with Test, Moolah, and Mae taking on the Big Boss Man and Prince Albert (A-Train). After Test got pinned, Henry hit the ring and got dropped by the Boss Man. That brought Harvey into the ring, who got pitched by Albert. Moolah then draped Harvey over her shoulder and headed to the back.

On the 17th, Jerry Lawler came out to plug that the Royal Rumble was that weekend, and they would be crowning a Miss Royal Rumble. The competitors were Terri Runnels, the Kat (better known as ex-Mrs. Jerry Lawler), Ivory (under protest), Luna, Jacqueline, and BB (aka Bob Holly’s squeeze at the time). After the predictable catfight occurred and the ring was cleared, Mae creaked in and said that she was going to show everybody what they wanted to see – her puppies. Lawler tried to correct the misconception as Moolah, Harvey, and Henry hit the ring to save an entire generation’s eyesight.

The worst happened at the competition. After Ivory (conservative blue bikini), Terri (flesh-colored bodysuit), Jacqueline (string bikini), Luna (walked out), BB (plain bikini) and the Kat (Saran wrap) had their turns, Mae slid into the ring wearing a purple one-piece. Before anyone could stop her, Mae slid the top of her bikini down, exposing what appeared to be two wrinkly udders. Not even Mark Henry and the WWF’s valiant flashing of a censored sign could protect us from the terror. Then Mae was somehow declared the winner. I don’t know how, and don’t really care. We will never speak of this again.

The next night, we had the trophy ceremony. Lawler presented her with a crown, a bouquet of roses (he quipped that they weren’t wilted like her… well…). Mae responded by saying that at least hers were real, and we had a catfight.

After things calmed down, Mae was given the trophy, which consisted of a woman’s torso wearing tassels. She then threatened to drop her top again, and fortunately this time Mark Henry and his jacket were close enough to save us all.

On the 27th’s episode of Smackdown, the Godfather and D’Lo were getting ready to face Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty and Grandmaster Sexay), when Mae and Henry came out. Mae had a surprise for Henry. She was pregnant! As the four wrestlers in the ring were repulsed, Mae and Henry headed to the back to celebrate.

On February 3rd, Mae was in a bad mood. Her request for a women’s title shot against Hervina (Harvey Whippleman in drag) had been refused. To console her, Henry spent the evening giving her baby gifts. First up was Preparation H. Second was Oil of Olay, so she wouldn’t get any stretch marks. A breast pump was next. Finally, Mae thought she felt the baby kick, but it turned out to just be gas.

Trouble hit on the 7th. Mark Henry was taking on Kurt Angle on Raw, and warned Mae to stay in the back. She didn’t and wound up on the receiving end of an Olympic slam. The EMTs rushed to the ring as Angle celebrated.

Later in the night, we saw Moolah and Henry in the back with her. Mae suddenly popped up, said that everybody wanted to see her puppies, and off came the shirt as the EMT in front of her prayed for death.

That led us to the 14th. Valentine’s Day. And Mark decided to celebrate by taking Mae to the honeymoon suite of a local hotel. We spent the evening by watching as Henry presented Mae with a special present – edible undies.

On the 17th, we saw Henry and Mae talking about how much she loved it black (her coffee) while the Hollys got disgusted (they didn’t like the edible undies thing either). They finally confronted Henry, and we had a backstage fight.

Later, Henry decided he needed help protecting Mae, so he turned to the Acolytes Protection Agency (APA). When Mae spotted that they were playing poker, she convinced them to deal her in after she pulled out a big roll of money.

By the end of the night, the Acolytes were in poor shape. Mae had smoked all their cigars, drunk all their beer, and won all their money. She smiled, gave them their money back, and led them out of their office and down to the ring, where Mark Henry was taking on the Hollys in a no disqualification handicap match. The Acolytes easily destroyed the Hollys and Henry got the pin, then left with Mae.

The 21st saw Viscera splashing Mae, which resulted in her being taken out in an ambulance. This time they actually managed to get her inside.

That led us to No Way Out, where Mark Henry took on Viscera. Mae distracted Viscera long enough for Henry to hit a splash, and that was it.

Trouble hit the next week. Henry was taking on Crash Holly for the hardcore title when Mae splashed Crash, and then grabbed at her stomach. Moolah, Pat Patterson, and Gerald Brisco ran out with EMTs in tow, who wheeled her to the back.

Backstage, they announced that Mae was in labor, and there was no time to get her to a hospital. They wheeled her into a room and got ready…

As Mae puffed away on a cigar (courtesy of Gerald Brisco, hey, I guess she’s got to have something to take the edge off), an EMT asked when her last period was. Her answer? 1957.

Finally Mae passed a lot of gas, and a goo-covered rubber hand popped out. As Brisco puked, Patterson got to deliver the payoff line – “Let’s all give Mae a hand!”

Analysis
Oh, boy. Where to begin. Again we see nothing happen except Mark Henry being made to look like a fool, with Moolah and Mae along for the ride. This was crap, pure and simple.

Again we see the perils of building an entire angle to one worthless payoff line – much like the equally-infamous Katie Vick angle (where we saw HHH sneak into the funeral home and have a little necrophilia fun, then say “I screwed her brains out” while throwing spaghetti or something at the camera).

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – this was a burial. Much like Diamond Dallas Page ending his feud with the Undertaker by getting pinned by the Mrs. Taker, this was a blow a popular wrestler might not recover from. With Henry, people just didn’t care.

Where are they now?
Mark Henry has remained in Ohio Valley Wrestling, but hasn’t been seen lately. It’s entirely possible he may make his way down to the new Deep South Wrestling development territory.

Mae Young and Moolah still occasionally pop up on the indy circuit and WWE television.

From the mailbag
A few weeks ago, I was working on the column for the West Hollywood Blondes, and decided to try emailing Lenny Lane and Lodi for any comments they may have had on the angle. I checked my mail this week, and had an email from Lodi himself! I’d asked him some questions about the angle, and here are his replies.

DB: What are your overall thoughts on the angle?

Lodi: I loved the angle because it was Lenny’s idea. I thought it was tastefully done, and the quarter hour ratings proved the fans liked it. It was a travesty WCW failed to stand by us on it. They instead chose to cave in to a special interest group’s watchdog that had the facts wrong.

DB: What was your favorite part of it?

Lodi: Everything we did backstage and in the ring- it was all a great time. They boys were all supportive and gave us great ideas, the fans liked it- what was there for us to dislike?

DB: When the angle was killed, I’ve heard a rumor about Lenny dropping the cruiserweight title. If I remember correctly, he was told to lose the title to Psicosis in a dark match before the actual taping. Do you
remember if this is true?

Lodi: There was no match. WCW simply “made up” the phantom title change. We weren’t even on the road when it supposedly occurred. If
you need anything else, _www.lodirulz.com_ (http://www.lodirulz.com) is the answer!

Special thanks to Lodi, for taking time out to respond, and for clarifying how Lenny lost the cruiserweight title. If you’re in Forrest City, North Carolina, try and swing by the show at the National Guard armory this weekend and give him some support!

Next week
We head back to WCW for some good Southern fun, and a serious miscalculation by WCW creative.

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