“My Heart Belongs to Daddy”
Previously, on Desperate Housewives: Lynette videoconferences with her son on his first day of school, Carlos might be spending eight years in prison, Bree may have feelings for George, and Zach is Mike’s son.
Gabrielle gets more and more attention from the inmates at Carlos’ prison, which Gabby comes to dread. Gabrielle asks her lawyer for a conjugal visit, but the lawyer says no and then calls her a bitch, as the inmates want an apology from him to the lady, but he refuses and the inmates nearly start a riot trying to get this guy to apologize.
Still watching Desperate Housewives? Okay.
The working mothers on Wisteria Lane miss out on the precious moments in life, as Lynette returns from work and tucks in Parker. Downstairs, Tom offers to fill Lynette in on everything she missed. She can’t touch Mrs. Mulberry’s food, though, as that’s been sitting out for hours since Parker’s new imaginary British nanny can’t really eat food. Lynette worries that Parker is trying too hard to replace her.
Susan & Mike return from a date in their casual relationship, but Susan’s horny and she tries to explain that casual doesn’t mean that they have to be like brother and sister. Susan says that they can be casual until they figure out the Zach situation, but Mike gives her an ultimatum–accept Zach as part of Manslaughter Mike’s package, or call it off. Susan, in a horny rush, accepts Zach and then says that she can be naked in 20 seconds if Mike is ready to do the nasty. What a terrible package, huh? Not only do you get a plumber who killed a man and almost killed another one in the middle of nowhere, but wait, free of charge you get a batshit insane son who doesn’t know his real father!
Carlos and Gabby talk about the lawyer riot, which Gabrielle describes as more of a melee. Carlos doesn’t see how a conjugal visit is going to fix their shaky marriage, but Gabrielle explains that even though Carlos and Gabby fight all the time during her visits and also used to fight at home, at least at home they were able to have crazy make-up sex. Gabrielle thinks there should be something to look forward to through their arguments, and Carlos tells Gabrielle to see another lawyer…and make it quick. Man, everyone’s horny this week, huh?
Speaking off, Bree and George are just finishing with a date themselves, but Bree isn’t prepared to kiss George on the lips just yet. Bree invites George to dinner Friday night as Andrew arrives to take out the trash. Andrew tells George to skedaddle because Bree seems to be bringing the date to an end, but George stands his ground and says he’ll leave when he wants to. Andrew and George get in a pushing match, but Bree steps in-between them before things get ugly and then tells George that she is going to head in for the night after all.
Lynette wakes Parker up before school so he can get some donuts, but Parker doesn’t want to forget Mrs. Mulberry. Lynette gets her in the car and tells her to buckle up, but Parker needs her umbrella as well. Lynette turns Parker’s room upside down looking for it, starting to run late for work as she has to go back to the car and just get those donuts. Parker decides to tell his mother NOW that the umbrella was in the shower, but it’s too late and Lynette raises her voice slightly, which throws Parker off as Parker decides that he and Mrs. Mulberry didn’t want any donuts anyway.
Andrew doesn’t want to get to know George, since he seems to be replacing Rex too fast, but Bree claims him to be just a friend, lying about their budding relationship as Andrew points out that the only one in danger of humilating the family is Bree for dating the town nerd a month after her husband’s death. Andrew says that he made plans instead of staying for dinner with George, but Bree blackmails him into showing up since she wants even seating and she’ll be providing the entrance fee into Andrew’s big swim meet.
Susan is posting missing flyers for Zach, as Edie arrives to ask her what’s going to happen if they actually find Zach and manage to keep him out of prison–is Susan going to tuck Zach into bed after what Zach’s done to her? Susan doesn’t even think they have a chance of finding Zach, and Edie notes that that would make Susan a great woman, since she tried her best to find him even though she doesn’t want to find him.
David Bradley is a successful lawyer because he humps all of his female clients, and for the more challenging cases he just refuses to take the case to get them all stirred up and play hard to get-a-lawyer. Gabrielle offers the money, but David feels that if his heart isn’t in the case, he isn’t on his A-game, which is what he needs to be on to get Carlos out of trouble. Bradley adds that he doesn’t think conjugal visits will solve their doomed marriage, and an upset Gabrielle storms off after hearing that.
Lynette sits down with some faculty from the school, who explain that they were able to accomodate for Parker when he asked for an extra easel for Mrs. Mulberry, but they didn’t have an extra desk–so Parker jabbed the teacher with Mrs. Mulberry’s umbrella. They wonder if Lynette has any idea what is causing this unhappiness for Parker that makes him want to create an imaginary British nanny. Lynette begins to break down, knowing that it’s her fault all this terrible stuff is happening with Parker.
George and Andrew are surprisingly getting along at the dinner, and Danielle and Bree both find that freaky, especially since Andrew is laughing at George’s terrible jokes. But as Danielle and Bree prepare the dessert, George and Andrew have a man-to-man chat, as Andrew wonders if George has ever really been with a woman, since Andrew wants his mother to be happy and so she can’t be with someone who doesn’t know what he’s doing. George is taken aback by this, finding it inappropriate, but Andrew keeps digging under his skin, going so far as to deeply detail what his mother’s orgasm sounds like. George is pale-faced and shocked, and is also not hungry for the cobbler, despite Bree’s insistence. Bree enjoys the cobbler in a way that Andrew points out is very similar to her climaxing, and George loses his cool, telling Andrew to go to his room, but Bree won’t discipline Andrew unless George tells her what Andrew said. George can’t say it, though, so he just leaves in a huff as Andrew smiles to himself. Scene of the night.
David leaves a message with a number of a good divorce lawyer on Gabrielle’s phone, which brings Gabby over to Bradley’s offices to chew him out for doing something like that. Bradley reiterates about Gabrielle’s marriage being just about over, and then tries to make the move on Gabrielle before she mentions that she’s pregnant. Furthermore, she LOVES her husband, so there ain’t nothing going on between them. David breaks down and decides to hire her for $600 an hour and a conjugal visit by noon tomorrow.
Susan helps Mike track down Zach, but as they split up, she doesn’t have much luck, grabbing some ice cream for Mike and Susan and telling the ice cream man to pass out flyers of the missing Zach, but the ice cream man notices Zach, right over *there*. Susan tries to track down Zach, but he makes a run for it, getting cornered and deciding to grab a big piece of wood, scaring Susan off as she throws her ice cream at him and runs off.
Susan relays this story to the rest of the Housewives, as they agree that Zach’s a freak to the extreme, but Bree thinks that he’d be better off in a house then on the streets.
The Scavos discuss Parker’s imaginary friend, as Tom thinks that Parker will adapt to life without Lynette, but Lynette is all out of ideas on how to make the adaptation happen faster. Tom suggests piling on the hugs, like maybe ten a day to make Parker feel more secure, but Lynette decides to just tell Parker that her love is real, unlike Mrs. Mulbbery. But Parker defends her, saying Mrs. Mulberry and Lynette’s a liar.
Bree doesn’t want to see George anymore, since she feels that she needs to focus more on Andrew now. George suggests the counseling camp that Andrew went to last season, but Bree doesn’t want to go to that unless Andrew gets wild. George tries to get on Bree’s side by suggesting he thinks George and Andrew are similar.
During the conjugal visit, Carlos promises to be a good father, which is good enough to convince Gabrielle into a second round before the 45 minutes are up.
Susan and Zach eat together, as Susan tells Zach she can’t run away from messed up lives, Zach thinks Julie’s a nice girl and wonders if there’s a future after what he did with her, but Susan suggests then that maybe Zach should try and track down Paul Young in Utah. Susan wonders how much money Zach will need to get Zach away from Julie.
Lynette snatches the umbrella while Parker sleeps and tries to throw it in the trash, but it falls out of the garbage truck. Parker looks for Mulberry when she wakes up, but Lynette hasn’t seen her. Parker leaves for school, but the umbrella is in the middle of the street and Parker is glad to see her…before she gets run over by the garbage truck making a second pass. The Scavos mourn her loss, as imaginary 9-1-1 won’t save her now.
At the swim meet, George arrives to give Bree a goodbye gift, and starts getting fresh with her as Andrew can’t focus on his swimming, but instead goes sideways out of the pool to emerge and tackle George, beating him up as the swim coach pulls Andrew off a now-bloody George, as it’s clear where Andrew is going now. George seems to have set this up.
Andrew is sent off to camp, Carlos’ conjugal comes to an end, Mike continues looking for Zach, Lynette’s upset for killing Mrs. Mulberry, but Tom reassures her everything will be okay when Parker grows up.
