So I’m a day late and dollar short this week with my column. Nonetheless, Raw this past Monday night was one of the most entertaining since Homecoming so many months ago. From top to bottom, for a number of reasons, this show was totally my cup of tea. I was a kid during the WWF’s Rock and Wrestling Era and a teensger during the Attitude Era and Raw this week had a good mixture of both timeframes. From the Trial of Eric Bischoff to Edge and Lita’s Shoot comments to Chavo’s Monday night victory everything just gelled.
Next week, we’re taking out the trash!
Ominous words were spoken as Raw last went dark. And Joey Styles welcomed us back to the arena this week in Charleston, NC.
I wonder if anyone else was just waiting for Duke “The Dumpster” Droese to come out in that opening segment. If there was ever a better time…
Setting up the Trial of Eric Bischoff as the way to fire him in the opening segment was pretty cool. The whole corny feel of the Trial reminded me of the skits the E used to have during Saturday Nights Main Event. Mick Foley was dead on and very funny in his role as Prosecutor. I think I’ve heard him tell the story of Eric feeding Schiavone the lines about Mick winning the WWF title about a million times now, and I’m betting Mick is tired of telling it. If the writers really tried, instead of constantly phoning it in, they could have come up with some way better reasons to fire Bischoff in the opening remarks. Using The Coach as his Defense Attorney was simply ludicrous – Vince just wanted, no wait – Vince NEEDED to namecheck Johnnie Cochran or something. Just stupid. Bischoff should’ve represented himself from the beginning. Anyway, I can’t really complain too much. I love stupid WWE stuff like this, and everyone was pretty much golden. There was some good stuff, a little bit of crap too, but I’m used to that and tend to encourage it! Because with out the junk, there wouldn’t be any new additions to the Wrestlecrap website beloved by so many of us. Wrestlers are by nature B-movie type actors, see Exhibit A: Piper, Roddy.
The Trial of Saddam Hussein is currently taking place too in some undisclosed location – Coincidence?
That 4 team tag match should have had alot more to it that it did. It just completely buries the division even more. OKAY! WE GET IT! Big Show and Kane are dominant, they can take out the whole f*cking company! Now job the two behemoths off to the f*cking Pimps on a Mission team of Val and Vis and let’s move on, eh?!
Good Gawd I Love Mickie James! Sure she did the old J.O.B for Victoria, but she sure looked great doing it. Her smile is wicked, and I’m glad the cameramen are finally going for close-up shots of her beautiful face. Her eventual heel turn is going to be great – odds are Mickie will be Trish’s opponent this year at Wrestlemania.
Why doesn’t Victoria use the Widow’s Peak as of late?
I really thought most of the witnesses in the Trial were pretty senseless. Stephanie, Tajiri, Mae and Moolah, Boogeyman, Chris…Mordeski? Where was Kurt Angle for the defense? Or the Hulkster for the defense – he and Eric have apparently had a love affair going on for years now! Hell, I would’ve marked out too see anyone on the stand who actually had a bigger connection to Bischoff than people like Masters. All in all it was just fodder to the eventual ending of the night.
Shawn Michaels’ strong words to Shelton backstage hit the nail right on the head. I think the writers and WWE braintrust must still read what we’re writing on the web here and incorporate little things in where they can, while still keeping that idiot mark fan happy at home. Truth is, Shelton the character needed a bit of a jumpstart or whatever and that’s exactly what HBK did for him. Let the heel, pissed off black guy phase of Benjamin’s career take shape! And see, they even say ATTITUDE over and over again in this segment, theyby heralding the semi-return of that ERA – now where’s the Ministy, DX and a whiny Hitman when you need them? Oh, ya – I think everyone’s still mostly on the payroll.
It’s time to get Retro on Raw and go back a decade – bring back DX, make Austin 3:16 the GM and and QUICK! someone drop Heidenreich on his head!
We’re all still really missing Eddie Guerrero at this point. It’s going to take a long time to heal from this one. So having Chavo on Raw a couple of days ago was cathartic to see. I’m just wondering if the E is ready or even willing to take Chavito to the next level. Everyone misses Eddie, we all see remnants of him in Chavo, the FANS want Chavo to suceed now no matter what, now will Vinnie Mac allow that to happen? He needs a run with the Ic strap or something – I like Chavo and I want to see that him using the Frogsplash isn’t all for not. His match Monday night with Lance Cadw was good for what it was. I still believe that Cade should be having a better run right now. He’s got a Triple H/Jeff Jarrett look to him and could be an important future Superstar. The correct way to have pushed him would’ve kept him and Murdoch teaming together – as champions – on every Raw Brand show until 2007. Force feed the goodness and we the monkeys will beg for more eventually.
Jim Cornette was the KING of Shootin’ From the Hip!
The Cutting Edge interview gimmick began this week and got right down to business. I was really looking forward to hearing Flair stand up for himself after all the nasty happenings in his personal life last week. Edge did talk some MAD SHIT though, he really is the new Loose Cannon in the wrestling industry and it’s actually a pretty good fit for him, his look and his history in the biz.
Michael “PS” Hayes – What is it with you kids today? You sure as hell don’t care about anyone else. Ric Flair has given his life for this business. As a 16-time World Champion, I am gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. How many times have you been the Main Event? How many times have YOU been World Champion?
Just great f*cking stuff – and then this:
The only reason that you have this show is because you are banging Matt Hardy’s ex-girlfriend!
God Bless Dok Hendrix! God Bless Him!
I bet Matt Hardy pooped his drawers while he watched that one! This Cutting Edge show could prove to make for some mighty awesome TV! Great segment, it woke me up after my long day and has me looking forward to the next Cutting Edge. With the name alone, they need to have Beefcake show up out of nowhere and do something.
I’m the Boogeyman! – and I’m Getting Annoying Already!
Boogeyman showing up and eating worms during the Trial of Eric was funny. Yes, it funny but soooo stupid. The funny outweighted it though. His rhymes are better than Cena’s! Squeeze it until it dies, guys.
Triple H killed the Poor Jobbing Jap – again, and barely even gave poor Taj a hope spot or anything. At least back in the day, when Flair wrestled a hapless mid-carder on Saturday afternoons the match was worth watching, lately it seems like most of H’s matches against the likes of Val, Viscera or whomever are timefillers thrown in there just so Trip can do his Roids/Spitting Water spot. Eventually he and Show will face off one on one, as they’ve done before, and once again Hunter will be made to look like the second coming of Hogan.
The HBK/Shelton – Angle/Carlito bout was a nice semi-main event for the show. The purpose here was a little push for Shelton and even though he got pinned at the end, the future does look a tad bit brighter for the young grappler. Even though I’m not fat and white – I wonder if I’ve got a shot to play Shelton’s Mama – I hear the WWE is looking for one right now. Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor comes to mind. And if only Sapphire was still alive, she could play a great Grandmotherly role.
A bit of quick fantasy booking for ya: HBK over Flair for the IC title sooner rather than later, then eventually have Shawn drop it to Shelton and go from there. Angle’s heat remains tremendous and I just love all the guys involved, so it was some good stuff leading up to…
The E is catering to the 15 year old marks by putting Steph and Hunter together and barely making light of it – their history together in the business is extraordinary! To shame, WWE! We’re smarter than this! Triple H stole Steph away from Test in stoylines six years ago and married her in Vegas for Christsakes!
They’re married, they’re rich, they’re the heirs to the WWE Empire and yet they meet in a hallway of some Carolina auditorium and act like teenagers.
`You’re Fiiiiiiiiired!’
Four plus years ago Vince McMahon stood proudly on Nitro and Raw simultaneously and claimed to hold WCW in the palm of his hands. Tonight felt like a fitting end to what was the beginning of the end the night of Nitro’s final telecast. Vince fired Eric for the time being, and threw him straight into the massive garbage truck, off somewhere on a vacation that we all would probably give a pinkie finger to have. These four years that Eric has been the GM of Raw haven’t been so bad at all. He served his purpose, retained his Heelish-ness all throughout and only got Stunnered a few hundred times by Stonecold. He also made an assload of $$$$ and that’s all tha counts. Eric Bischoff is wealthier than ever and the business continues forward. Eric will be back one day, in which capacity one can only guess. Cena nailed the former President of WCW with one final F-U Death Valley Driver and that’s that. See ya in a month Eric – I’ll give you aThree Minute Warning before I turn the channel!
Who will be GM from now? Could it be Mick Foley reprising his role of The Commish of yesteryear? Maybe Shane or Stephanie? How ’bout Dusty Rhodes? I can see it now! Goldust – new WWE Champion – Suck on that Rapper Boy!
Please God, just don’t let the new General Manager be Hulk Friggin’ Hogan
I don’t care who it ends up being. I just hope they make a meaningful choice for the role. How about me! I’d make a perfect GM – I love and know the business and could bump like a madman for Cena too! I’m still sticking with my darkhorse choice of Bret Hart.
Christy Hemme has been released! She’ll be on her knees sucking off Shane-O Mac this time next year for her job back. Now that’s Money in the Bank!
The Raw and Smackdown crews are off to Afghanistan this week to film the Christmas Special – good luck to them, I’m hoping they will be safe. Rita Croaby from MSNBC will be trolling along with the E and will have a report tonight on her show Live and Direct. This Friday’s Smackdown was taped last Sunday – there are spoilers aplenty all over the place, but I’m choosing to try and look the other way. Although, it sounds like JBL is being thrown back together with his Chief of Staff Orlando “Virgel” Jordon so that they can lay down in the main event. Should be a good show, as we head for Armageddon. I can’t believe they’re still hiding Batista’s injury.
That’s about it for me this Wednesday – I’ll be back Friday with a report of ByteThis!. Randy Orton is Todd’s guest this week! RKO previously cancelled last week while selling the lowrider angle with the Undertaker. Be safe, be good – Santa’s on his way – and tell your friends to Vote McMahon in ’08!
