Wrestling News, Opinions, Etc., 12.13.05

Look, if football factories like Ohio State are going to be tisk-tisked for scholastic shortcomings, then it’s only fair that academic mills such as the University of Chicago be taken to task for gridiron futility. – Patrick Hruby, espn.com, 11 December 2005

Fuck you, Hruby. We left the Big 10 in 1938 for a reason, you know. We already had a Heisman, we already had a coach that revolutionized the game, and the pro team in town was good enough to let them have the spotlight. Where could you go from there? So we concentrated on other things and have done pretty damn well for ourselves. We have nothing to be ashamed about.

Saturday was one of those totally confusing days for me. I had to be confronted by a rather existential question thanks to that bitch known as Fate. Who really had more influence on me, Gene McCarthy or Richard Pryor? That’s a tough call. McCarthy was, of course, the epitome of the liberal Democrat, showing everyone that allegedly radical opinions were held by people who couldn’t be considered radical. He put many ideas and concepts into the mainstream that survived only on the fringes. He made you feel good about holding unpopular opinions, and it was the thought of people like him that enabled to survive and prosper among the Ann Coulters of the world, the right-wing imbeciles who don’t know their asses from their elbows (You want Treason, Ann? Try Ghana’s blandishments to try to get Freddy Adu to compete against the US next year.).

Pryor, though, served such a critical purpose in the modern history of humor. He took the “race” comedy of Redd Foxx and Rudy Ray Moore and successfully meshed it with the social commentary of Lenny Bruce and George Carlin. He made it safe for anyone, not only minorities, to be able to comment on society with a jaded eye and a sick slant. And unlike so many of his contemporaries, the drugs didn’t destroy the talent. What I bring to the table is more heavily influenced by Bruce, Monty Python, and, of course, Hunter Thompson, but Pryor is always there. It’s a huge shadow to try to overcome, as so many comedians have noted.

I’m just going to put this off as two great losses, both of equal importance. The world is definitely lessened by their absence.

That was an interesting way of doing an In Memoriam, don’t you think? About the best I could do, really. I’m fighting off a cold (a development that’s as unexpected as Pat Riley, Miami Heat Coach) and prepping for a two-day interview in Oklahoma later this week (don’t say it, Price), so my mind’s elsewhere. Yes, there’s a PPV to discuss, so I’m not scrounging for material per se. I think I should just get on with it…

THE PIMP SECTION

Wids discusses Turning Point. Well, so do I, but I’ll defer to him because he’s the boss.

Lucard discusses cows and physics, and yet doesn’t consult me, an expert on both subjects. I don’t know whether to be disappointed or offended.

Grut does the same thing Widro does, only more so.

Hevia knows better than to f*ck with me. Now the rest of you learn that lesson. Oh, and, Dan, you forgot the “OMEGA” on the Lita poster, because she did that entire locker room too. Well, those of them who were actually interested in women.

Basilo continues to discuss TV series that I don’t watch.

Pomazak gets to spurt out massive mea culpas courtesy of Upset Sunday in the NFL.

Question for McCullar: I own four of the five. Do I still have to kill myself, or can I substitute Straight Outta Compton for the missing one?

Semi-Regular Byron Turk will be on TV on Sunday, 8PM ET, 7PM Civilization Time, on the National Geographic Channel. Be sure to watch. I won’t, because Sunday night is the only chance I have to see the Bears this season.

TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON

Well, I watched Turning Point. Nothing much to really talk about that Widro and Grut haven’t covered, actually. I seriously don’t know what I could add to their peregrinations. However, I’ll try.

I’ll leave aside the jobber-fest that was the free opener except to point out one thing. On one board I frequent, a female Jeffykins fan asked why everyone hated poor, put-upon Jeffykins. She surmised that it was because he was “pretty”. No, I told her, and listed a number of reasons. The first reason was that he no-shows PPVs. I said this last week, not knowing he’d do it again. Now I feel that my case against him is a lot stronger than it was. If he isn’t fired by the end of the week, or however long it takes them to get him on the phone, I’ll be in shock. And according to all the reports I’ve been reading, that dream of mine will come true. Let’s hope that by the end of this week, Jeffykins will be out of a job and I’ll have one.

Abyss/Sabu was yet another minor masterpiece for the Grievous Bodily Harm Division. Between the Barbed Wire Match, Monster’s Ball, and the House Of Fun, they now have a stable of garbage matches that they can pull out at any moment for shits and giggles. Of course, they also have the performers to go with the matches; they’ve turned in a quality series under messy conditions. How can you not love a match in which Abyss takes a barbed wire shot right to the balls? Of course, I question the booking heavily. As I said in the Round Table, Abyss needed this win a lot more than Sabu did. I think it’s amazing everyone right now that Sabu went over…okay, the barbed-wire sandwich looked cool, but it would have been a lot cooler with Sabu filling.

You know what? It might be time to establish a Hardcore belt in TNA. Yes, I know, total cliche, and WWE didn’t do a good job with theirs for the most part (Foley and Crash being the exceptions). However, look at the differences here. The members of the Grievous Bodily Harm Division are upper-mid-carders, not jobbers. They’ve shown their willingness to go One Step Beyond time and time again. TNA doesn’t have a secondary belt per se; the X Division and the Main Event Scene don’t mix except for A. J. and occasionally Daniels. A Hardcore strap (no 24/7 clause, please) would be a good addition. It would also provide a place for guys moving up the card like Cassidy Riley and X Division guys not in the title hunt (hello, Sonjay) to have a place to hang around and get a bit of a push. I’m just throwing that out there.

The X Division tag was a good bit of fun. The guys worked well together and provided some fast-paced entertainment and some terrific individual moments. However, again, the booking has to come into question. The match turned into a “Who’s Getting The Push” match, with the answer being Austin Aries. Yes, he has more upside than Alex Shelley at this point (although it’s a rather disingenous comparison), but both deserve it. I’m hoping that we see a singles match between them in the future. The other thing that was weird was seeing Matt Bentley play a face. The X Division needs another strong heel, and Bentley should be it. Yeah, he can do both, but…

Just when TNA was starting to get over the “We Want To Be WCW” charges, along comes Raven/Kanyon. Seeing Chris Kanyon being used as Larry Z’s latest pawn is…disconcerting, to say the least. The IWC has always had the highest of hopes for him, and those hopes keep getting dashed repeatedly. When we saw Justin Asshole being used in this role, there was a feeling of “cool, this guy deserves this” (as in regard to the beating he’d take from Raven). With Kanyon…no. Who better than? We’ll always know the answer. We just don’t want the contrary shoved into our faces like this.

Of course, I ignored the eight-man tag. However, the apres couldn’t be ignored. They’ve finally pulled the trigger on it. It actually makes sense in the way they did it, too. I don’t think there’s any way NAO could have been heels. So putting Konnan, who everyone hates anyway, as the heel was actually decent. Hey, bravo.

If they’d have kept the BaseBrawl with only A. J., I would have been fine about it (especially with the Greatest Of All Time at the mic). However, Johnny Fucking Damon got involved. You know the three words I’m about to say, so I won’t say it.

The Christian/Monty match went pretty much as I expected, except for one key little thing: the clean pin. I’ll talk about the ramifications of that a little later. Damn good match, though. Monty was a good first major opponent for Christian, though; if someone in TNA can wrestle in the style Christian’s accustomed to, it’s Monty. So, good fit, but very, very dubious result.

AMW/ex-Dudleys…I just don’t care anymore. I really don’t. Even a Tables Match can’t get me to care. After showing WWE for so long how to properly do a tag scene, TNA has just lost it. There’s just no interest there. Complete and utter boredom all around. I thought I’d never say that about the Dudleys or AMW, but TNA has this tendency sometime to suck the life out of programs. This is one of those times.

As for Joe/A. J., I called it. Joe won clean. A. J. is one of the few guys so hot in wrestling that a clean pin against a high-class opponent won’t kill him. Joe had to win the X Title some time soon, and here was his opportunity. The fact that this obvious booking came with a fantastic match (not MOTY, but at least at candidate level) was cherry. I don’t have the words to say what a well-booked and well-executed match this was. The destination wasn’t important; after all, everyone knew where they were going. But the trip to get there could have been a lot more disappointing. Kudos to these two, and thank you, thank you, thank you for keeping Daniels out until after the match (as I thought they would). Daniels interference during the match would have made this into a farce. By the way, Joe does the best Boston Crab since Rick Martel. It’s a helluva lot better than Carly or Victoria, both of whom did one on Raw.

Pretty much skipped Jarrett/Rhiyno. Nothing that I didn’t expect, nothing that would get my attention. Let’s be honest, when was the last time a Jarrett match merited any type of attention?

This brings us to our final point. Grut’s already questioned the decision to sign Sting in the first place, and did it quite well. However, there are a couple of points that I’d like to expand upon.

First of all, this makes it official: TNA has now officially given up on trying to expand its audience. You would think that signing Sting would be an example of the opposite: try to bring people back to wrestling who haven’t watched since the Implosion of 2001. But look at the way he was introduced. With the crowd chanting, “Sting!”…that’s a sign that TNA has the most smarkish audience around next to ROH. They knew who was coming, thanks to this information being plastered all over the Net for days (and wasn’t it cute of 1bullshit Junior to try to tamp the “big surprise” down, saying that Sting wasn’t in the building and he hadn’t been signed and all that?). Of course, bodily, he wasn’t there. Instead, what did they have? The jacket, the bat, the black scorpions on the screen, etc. They relied entirely on the iconography, and they did so in the expectation that the audience would know who it was. The guy hasn’t been on screen for a major federation for nearly five years now (TNA was not major when he did that cup of coffee with them). Yet they expected the audience to understand instantly and respond, which, of course, they did. Their audience is so front-loaded with smarks that the inevitable comparisons with ECW have to be drug out.

And why not? TNA is repeating ECW’s ratings when ECW was on cable. Same number, same number every week, on the same network to boot. This is a damn good reason to give up trying, I think. The biggest difference between TNA and ECW is that Paul Heyman buffaloed the then management of what is now Spike into thinking that within a year, ECW On TNN would be attracting a 2.0. TNA came into their deal with lower expectations, and they’ve been living up to them enough that Spike isn’t complaining. Yet. At this point in ECW’s deal, the TNN complaints had started to become public. So, chalk one up for TNA for now. But how long will Spike be satisfied with the stagnation? TNA has to know that they can’t ride this forever. But they don’t seem to want to do anything about it. They’re going to have to. Sting won’t cut it.

The appearance of the iconography meant one other thing, and one that will definitely end up biting TNA on the ass. If I’m Monty Brown, I’m on the phone to my agent right now asking two questions: 1) How do I get out of this contract? and 2) How fast can I be on the phone to Vince?

What is up with TNA’s reluctance to give this guy the ball? There have to be reasons for this, ranging from the benign to the sinister. Six months ago, the entire IWC had actually agreed for once on something. That something was the fact that we had faith in TNA that they’d do the right thing and that Monty would have the world title by the end of the year. Well, now, we’re facing the end of the year, and there’s Monty on the losing end of a clean pin, further from the title than he’s ever been. And doing the pinning is Christian. Why is Christian there? Because he thought that he was getting a raw deal in his booking from his old employer. People kept passing him up the ladder to the upper card that were less talented in the ring and on the mic, people who had contributed far less to the company that he had. In his mind, at least. But that feeling can definitely be substantiated by the evidence at hand. So what’s happening in Orlando? Christian is ending up doing unto others what hath been done unto him. I don’t expect Mistah Reso to be hamstrung by a conscience; this is wrestling, and it’s the law of the jungle. He knows that. We know that. So no charges of hypocrisy there.

But the jungle has now encroached and surrounded the Serengeti. First it was Raven. Then Rhiyno. Now Christian. Sting’s now coming in. And after Turning Point, they’ve got to put Joe in line. All have passed Monty by. With the exception of Raven, none of them have done anything for TNA. Monty’s been one of t
he key pieces in what popularity TNA has. Ingratitude for services rendered, as I said, was one of Christian’s main reasons for him not re-signing with WWE. Now TNA’s doing the same thing to Monty. And guess what? He built his name enough that he could be an immediate upper-mid-carder with WWE on either show. And they’ve got a big gap to fill on the face side of Smackdown with Eddy’s death. Can circumstances have created a more perfect scenario for a jump?

But the possibility of jumping doesn’t answer the question of why this is happening. At least with Christian, we can make some solid assumptions. In his case, it all boils down to the old bromide “Vince Loves Big Guys”. Naturally Christian was going to get the shaft. But with Monty, there’s no Vince involved here (except for the fact that it makes the jump North easier). So why is this happening?

I’d like to go with the benign assumption, just for the sake of believing that people have some inherent goodness in them. It’s simply a case of bad timing. Raven had been waiting a long time for his payoff; in fact, his character was built on that basis. So, yeah, let Raven have his day in the sun. But now fate strikes. “Hey, Rhiyno’s been released from WWE, he’s gone through his 90-day, he’s done One-Night Stand. He’s pretty well known. Let’s get him.” And so another former ECW World Champion with some public visibility comes in and gets shoved into the main. But Monty’s pretty well set. Blow off the thing with Rhiyno, then it’s his turn. That’s obvious to everyone. But…”Hey, Christian just quit!” “Sting wants to sign with us full-time!” “Everyone in our audience loves Joe!” And there, standing in the corner, somehow looking both forlorn and really pissed off, is Monty, seeing these guys stroll in and put into programs with Jarrett. Or even worse, Monty’s used to get them over. Getting f*cked more than a ten-buck hooker when Fleet’s In must be wearying on anyone. But when someone’s as close as Monty’s been…I can only imagine the rage he must be feeling at this seeming perpetual cycle. What happens if WWE can’t come to terms with Benoit when his contract ends in a few months? Again, the wheel turns, and the next rating comes into the room, dropping his uniform trousers.

But what if it’s something more conscious? You have to consider the worst-case scenario as well. TNA’s booking committee is loaded with old-school good ol’ boys (not to mention that old-school Southern money from Panda). There is always a reluctance among people of that generation and origin to make that final move. They don’t see Bill Watts’ push of Ron Simmons as champion to be a cynical effort to deflate the charges of racism that surrounded him; they simply note that Simmons never drew money. To them, Flex is safe because he’s African/Asian and a second-generation wrestler. He’s One Of Them. They remember that the bookers back then couldn’t push Bobo Brazil in the South. But Monty? Former NFL star who didn’t come up through the ranks, so he’s not One Of Them. Ernie Ladd was an exception, not the rule, and not even someone as liberal as Vince Senior would put his championship on Ladd; Ladd was tolerated because he was a huge guy for his time and was a perfect heel. Plus, there’s the TV audience to think of. What would it say about TNA if their standard-bearer was a scary-looking black guy?

You’re all asking yourselves if I had to play that card. Yes, I did. Because that possibility still exists. It’s horrid to say that these days, but as long as those attitudes are still prevalent, the thought that they might be expressed has to be brought up. That being said, if this should happen to be the case, Monty’s happier up North as well. Within the last year, Vince has put both his secondary belts on people of color at the same time. A person of color is fighting for one of those secondary belts in a high-profile series of matches at this moment, and he’s getting a good push out of it with his wife, a woman of color. One of the hottest young prospects right now, one who is getting an enormous push, is a man of color. Vince and his organization are a lot more color-blind. What they would see in Monty is a big body who can easily work WWE Main Event Style with an instantly recognizable finisher and a history of being golden on the mic. Skin color wouldn’t enter into it at all.

(By the way, Grut touched on this side-note, and I’d like to expand on it. He asked if Samoa Joe had too obvious a name, something that would promote negative connotations in an ethnic manner. I’d say his name is fine as it is. Samoans in wrestling have a long, long tradition, and have been long-accepted; Hunter Thompson talked about his time promoting wrestling in Florida in the 50s, and he said he used to push Mexican wrestlers as Samoan because they’d be more accepted. I don’t know if he was lying about that one considering the fact that he also did the same thing with his Mexican attorney in Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, but it’s still a point to note. Advertising yourself as Samoan is no drawback; look at Afa and Sika. If you see Joe in a historical light as someone continuing the Samoan tradition, it’s perfectly acceptable.)

For whatever reason, though, you still have an undeniable fact: one of the more charismatic wrestlers of our time, someone who still hasn’t reached the peak of his potential, is being screwed. And someone’s going to pay the piper for that. Of course, that’s probably TNA’s next idea: bring back Piper.

And to see who else is being screwed, since there’s no other news (unless you think Phil Mushnick trying to explain his blather on a Net wrestling show is news; that’s like Tom DeLay making a guest appearance on Air America), let’s turn to Raw…

THE SHORT FORM

Match Results:

Kurt Angle over Ric Flair, Non-Title Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match (Pinfall, gold-medal-assisted punch): If memory serves, I think this is the first time that Angle’s ever used his gold medal as brass knucks, so to speak. That was a rather interesting way to end the match, I think, and it definitely helps Flair at this very trying time of his. If someone at the level of Kurt Angle requires international assistance to beat Flair, it definitely makes Flair look strong. Good match to boot. Hey, Grut, the old man may have his frailties and difficulties (some of which I definitely do not approve of), but he can still bring it. You can’t say that about Wife-Beater.

Carly Colon over Shelton Benjamin, Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match (Pinfall, small package): Oh, hooray, an Angle Advancement Match. I don’t care if the angle is question is Benjy’s, it still makes things horrid. Of course, when that angle also forces us to not have Benjy in the Elimination Chamber in favor of that walking abortion Carly, it drives it into realms of horror unimaginable by anyone this side of H. P. Lovecraft.

The wittily-named Tone E Atlas asks me this:

We’ve been watching Shelton get buried for the better part of 2005. Now, I can only assume that they’re trying to pull of a negative push with him right now. I probably know your answer to the question, but entertain me and give me your thoughts. Was this the product of (gasp) long term planning, or did the ‘E’ just stumble onto this realizing that they’re wasting one of their great young talents?

The next time you’ll find any long-term planning coming from Steph’s Little Gnomes will be the first time. This is purely improvisational. If there was any long-term planning being done, they wouldn’t have put out those ads last week seeking to cast someone as Benjy’s mom. That would have been cast a while back. That casting is the longest-term thing they have regarding this. It’ll blow up in their faces, and I just hope that it doesn’t take Benjy with it.

Shawn Michaels over The Big Show, Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match (DQ, Trip With Chair): Everyone knows that I do these summaries immediately after the match in question. So, let me hazard a prediction, which I won’t delete if I’m wrong: Trip’s facing Kane tonight, right? TBS interfering and accidentally costing Kane the match sound good to you? Makes sense given the angle, and allows the tag championships to either be defended at New Years’ Revolution (ha) or a team from Smackdown comes over for the return match (more probable).

Gym Bunny over Viscera, Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match (Submission, MasterLock): Oh, yeah, like anybody wanted to see either of these guys with the possibility of getting the WWE title. If we were forced at gunpoint to choose, I think that virtually every one of us would have said “Viscera”. At least he’s a former King of the Ring. What has Gym Bunny ever done, other than ‘roids?

Christopher Arrington echoes me:

Chris Masters vs. Viscera for a shot at the Elimination Chamber. I am now convinced that the pictures that Justin Credible had of Paul Heyman in a compromising position included Vinny Mac with that donkey and Justin sold them to Chris for a bottle of cheap rotgut and 2 bits. Nothing else can explain how a guy with little wrestling skill, few mike skills, and headed-to-the-bathroom-time-type charisma got this far.

Believe it or not, I don’t think that Vince would be coerced by donkey photos. Remember, Vince has no shame. We all know that.

MickieLexis LaJames over Missus Hevia, Number One Contender’s Match (Pinfall, DDT): That wasn’t much of a match. We all know both are capable of better. However, it was there to set up the Trish/LaJames throwdown at New Years’ Revolution, where MickieLexis finally snaps. Boring booking, people.

Chad Allen points out something important:

I usually stare at Victoria’s breasts, I just never knew they would stare back.

Yeah, Hevia has to see his optometrist today.

Kane over Trip, Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match (Pinfall, double chokeslam): Okay, I’ll give myself half credit. TBS interference, sure. Established the winner of the match, yep. DQ, no. So they’re going to push the button on the Trip/TBS match for New Years’ Revolution. And yet again, one must ask if one wants to see that. And yet again, the answer echoes in the wind, “Fuck, no”. That being said, this match was better than expected. We know that both Trip and Kane can rise to the call of duty if they feel like it, and apparently they felt like it. No masterpiece, but not the total disaster we’ve come to expect.

I wasn’t the only one who had good feelings about this match. Slick Rick did as well:

I’m honestly impressed. That’s the best (non-over-the-top) match I’ve seen Glen Jacobs put on in a long time. Even the “sit-up like a corpse waking up” thing fit. I guess I have another good thing to say about Trip now. Maybe he’s learned from Flair more than was apparent. He put Kane over, convincingly, without killing his own heat.

What was it that Willside said about Trip last year? “Like an only child who’s learned the joy of sharing”? Something good has permeated his black, black soul recently. You have to wonder where it’s coming from. God knows it isn’t his in-laws.

And not one word about Katie Vick? Shame on you people.

John Cena over Shawn Daivari, You Can’t See Me Match (Submission, STFU): A blindfold match. A. Blindfold. Match. Oh, poor Daivari. And as for the finisher, gosh, bet it thought them a long time to think up that one. God knows that’s what we’ve been yelling at the screen for the past year when Cena cuts a promo.

KC Evers (no relation) makes an insight:

I think the blindfold stip should be implemented in the Sports World. It’d put a whole new level of intrigue into the Daytona 500.

Not really, but I do know how they could make it interesting. Before the race, each driver is given a bottle of Jack. Some of the bottles have the real thing, others a non-alcoholic substitute. Bottoms up and drivers, start your engines. Now that’d make NASCAR fun.

(KC, please write me on Friday and remind me about your mail from last night. I want to use that UT/Orton line of yours in the Short Form this weekend, and I know I’m going to forget.)

Angle Developments:

Expectorate The Positive: Cena, do you think there might have been another reason that Daivari spit on Larry Legend’s statue? Maybe he’s a Lakers fan. Shit, I know that when Pistons fans see a game in Chicago, they spit on MJ’s statue. As for your little “troops” speech, two problems: 1) Angle was right; they haven’t done anything in Afghanistan, most notably their publicly-declared mission. In fact, all they’ve done is overthrow a government that the Junta disapproved of but was otherwise recognized and legitimate, just like they did in Iraq. 2) Without the military, there’d be no America? Well, then, what’s Costa Rica’s excuse? They have no standing army, and got a better World Cup draw than the US did.

More Expectorations: Thanks for that juxtaposition, WWE. Now I’m wondering what Trevor Murdoch would be like doing the Go Daddy.

The Benefits Of Education: Unlike every other person doing a column about this show, whether at this site or at others, I will not bring up Dean Douglas in regard to Matt Striker’s promo. However, I would like to ask WWE exactly which AM talk station host they stole that promo from. It is a good sign, though, that a conservative troglodyte can get “Asshole” chants and be considered a heel. Personally, I think the Demos should keep this in mind for the State of the Union address next year.

Speak Of The Devils: Was that a Chris Nowinski sighting? Will miracles ever cease? And can you think of a more diametrically opposed pair of people than Chris Harvard and Dusty Rhodes? Other than myself and Ann Coulter, of course. And KC Evers (no relation) reminds me of the fact that both Chris and Candice are WWE contest losers. Meanwhile, the winners of the contests those two lost are no longer employed by WWE. And the last shall come first, indeed.

Slick Rick is scaring himself:

This is where my comment about Fatdust holding the pencil a couple weeks ago bites us all in the ass…

(Please let this be a swerve before they bring in Shane.)

I dunno. You know Vince’s M.O. He likes to snark at anything he perceives as competition. Since FatDust had that role in TNA and did badly, it’d be just like him to give him the GM position and then show Jarrett “how it’s done”. But I’m with you on letting it be a swerve and bringing Shane in. Although I really wouldn’t mind Nowinski. He might be able to do an in-ring thing as long as it doesn’t involve the possibility of concussion.

By the way, I usually don’t follow Unlimited because, well, I have this column to do, and that’s what takes up my time during the commercials on Raw, but FatDust supposedly cut a hilarious incoherent promo. When the Unlimited videos are uploaded to wwe.com, check this one out.

Prognostications: Now that we have the Elimination Chamber match set, we can again marvel at the chutzpah of “creative” in regard to the fact that they’re actually trying to pass this one off on us without us noticing. They’ve broken it down beforehand to Cena and Angle (Michaels is in there for one reason: it wouldn’t be an Elimination Chamber without him). Dear God, it’s really unbelieveable. If that’s what they wanted, and that’s what they’re giving us, then why not just a cage match between them and let the other four enjoy themselves? All I know is that when this field was set, the plans of tens of thousands of people who were going to buy New Years’ Revolution just changed. And the rest will be watching out of hope that Angle will win. They’re not even bothering to pretend anymore, are they?

A Final Message: Goodbye, Tajiri. It was a damn shame they didn’t put your last match on Raw, but I guess that the women’s match and the blindfold match were too damn important for them to give you a proper farewell. Arigato and good luck.

Let me try to get some sleep and get this cold out of my system by the time I have to leave for Oklahoma early tomorrow morning. Until the weekend, after I get back from there, enjoy yourselves and try not to masturbate so much.