WWE: The Power Is Back. Hm, I don’t really get it, since the programming hasn’t changed much.
Our announcers are Steve Romero and Josh Matthews . . . Maybe we’d better watch this show on mute?
Opening Contest: Scotty 2 Hotty verses William Regal with Paul Burchill.
I like William Regal; but I really think his new gown is, well, Joan Rivers should leave a nasty message on his answering machine. And how does Scotty get away with this attitude depite nearly being Forty . . I think? To start, Scotty chant breaks out, Lock up, Regal works the arm, Scotty with a headlock, Shoulders down Regal. Crowd starts with a USA Chant. Regal with some tech abilities; Scotty does some Cruiser abilities, and another shoulder. Regal with the full nelson, Scotty trips Regal, forearm shot, and a Cover for 2. Headlock by Scotty. Knee in the gut by Regal, irish whip reversed by Scotty, Regal walks into a back body drop. Turnbuckle 10 Punches by Scotty. Multiple whips into the corner, Superkick, and Scotty goes for the Worm, which is still around since 2000, surprisingly. Burchill tries to clothesline Scotty, knee to the gut by Regal then running knee to the head for the 3 count.
Winner : William Regal.
Was mostly Scotty, but like he was due to win anyways. For what it was, the opening contet on a B Grade Show, it was good. So 6 out of 10.
Video hype up for Big Show / Kane veres Batista / Rey Mysterio at Armageddon. I really don’t care for Batista and Rey Mysterio as partners, especially as Tag Team Champions. Hopefully we’ll someday see a program between these two as faces. Especially considering we JUST saw MNM regain the Tag Team Titles.
Second Match: JAMIE NOBLE verses Some Whitney Dude.
Like you expected anything different, Jamie Noble takes it totally to the jobber, deliviering some rough technical moves, but gives a mean ass chop to the chest of the jobber. Matthews and Romero note Noble’s time in New Japan, wondering what he might have picked up there. Noble delivers ONE HELL of a sweet move; a Samoan Drop into Double Knee Gut Buster. Locks on what can be best called a Camel Clutch, Tazzmission, and Steiner Recliner combination for the victory. And the best part of the match; the crowd really did remember.
Winner : Jamie Noble.
Total squash. But it was a cruiser weight squash. And it’s Jamie Noble. So I’m giving it 5 out of 10. Though I want to give it 10 just for having Noble. Though he’s not the same without Nidia.
Third Match: Brian Kendrick and Paul London verses Arch Kincaid and Scotty Charisma.
London and Kendrick have horrible masks on. But Paul and Brian are hot and shirtless, so who cares? Oh, and good wrestlers, yeah. Brian and Scotty lock up to start, working the arms, Scotty knees Brian and gets a headlock. Shoulder by Scotty. Brian with a toss and scoop slam for 2. Tag out to Paul into stomp onto Scotty. Headlock. Scotty fight out of it, but Paul with a pretty sweet kick to Scotty’s chest. Punches Scott in the gut and repeats the kick. Tag out to Brian. Elbow drop onto Scotty’s shoulder. Tag out to Paul; repeat elbow. Tag to Brian . . another attack on the shoulder. Brian with head butts and kicks to Scotty, choking Scotty, tag to Paul. Mudhole stomps by Paul before a swinging dropkick. Tag to Brian. Double team toss, jump up, kick to back, elbow to Arch and punching Scotty. Yeah, they’re all doubles. Tag out to Paul again. Front supplex by Brian before Paul does some odd move which ain’t named yet. Flipping senton for the 2, broken by Arch. Scotty attacks Paul; tags to Arch. Arch knees Paul a few times, whip, knocks him down for 2. Cobra Clutch / Sleeper Hold sort of move.London fights out, Arch kicks Paul, whip, Paul flips and tags London. Double Drop Kick, double Flapjack to Scotty. Paul in. Kendrick slingshot elbow attack to Arch; double team superkick to Scotty; High Kick and STO combo gets the win.
Winners : Brian Kendrick and Paul London.
A squash, for the most part, again, but a lot better than the other squash. My one problem; far too many tags by Paul and Brian. But because I enjoyed it so much; 7 out of 10.
Fourth Match: Doug Basham verses Todd Henson.
Doug outdoes Todd to start the match, some flips, a snapmare, nothing impressive. Todd whips but Doug gets a shoulder attack on the way back. Todd, surprisingly, gets some advantage with a hiptoss. Doug slaps Todd. Todd with some elbows, Doug ramms Todd into the top turnbuckle and gets some chops. Attacks the elbow in the middle of the ring, before Doug backdrops Todd. Doug works the arm; Todd with a shoulder flip before nails elbows into Doug. Sunset flip by Todd, before Doug locks on the armbar for the Submission. The armbar? Yeah, I know, believe it or not.
Winner : Doug Basham.
Sucked; there was wrestling, yes, and it wasn’t a simple (in the very meaning of the word) squash, but even for the B Grade Show, there was nothing about this match. 4 out of 10 for trying, and improvment by Doug it looks like . . Still a bit too Village People though. Or what that the other one? Hm.
Video clip of Orton and Taker from Smackdown. Dunno who’ll win at Armageddon, but I don’t know if I care either.
Main Event: Funaki verses Orlando Jordan with Jillian Hall.
Guess that means the Cabinet is officially still together. How’s this the main event, I’ll never know. OJ and Funaki tie up, elbows into Funaki’s face. Irish whip back into the same corner; Funaki with a arm toss, headlock; OJ with a nice backbreaker. Kicks to Funaki, face squash / choke by OJ’s foot. Clubs by OJ at the ropes; snapmare and kick into the back of the head. Bearhug. Funaki fight out of it with fists, but OJ whips him into the turnbuckle and Funaki walks into the punches. 2 count by OJ. OJ punches the kidneys and locks on the Bearhug again; Funaki again with the fists. Funaki with an Enziguri, bulldog; OJ with a nice necbreaker, before a reverse X-Factor into Backbreaker thing for the three.
Winner : Orlando Jordan.
Orlando Jordan was a surprisingly lot more watchable tonight; was it Jillian Hall, or has he found talent? The world needs to know. For the Main Event of Velocity we get a grand total of 7 out of 10.
Final Match Grading
Scotty V Regal: 6 / 10
Noble V Jobber: 5 / 10
Kendrick and London V Scotty and Arch: 7 / 10
Doug V Todd: 4 / 10
Funaki V OJ: 7 / 10
The 17th of December Edition of Velocity: 29 / 50
This week’s edition had it’s ups and downs, but none of the matches were downright terrible. If you’ve got some free time this week, go see the new Harry Potter Movie! You will NOT be dissappointed.
