Last weekend could have been a big one in the world of boxing. Jose Luis Castillo and Diego Corrales were scheduled to have their third fight last Saturday but injuries during training forced Corrales to pull out of the bout. Instead, we were treated to a fight between Castillo and Rolando Reyes that turned out to be more boring than church. Jose Santa Cruz defeated Edner Cherry on the undercard despite getting knocked to the canvas in the third round. Santa Cruz won by unanimous decision and this fight is the only reason to catch any replays of the event on Showtime.
It’s a good thing there was a football game in Detroit last weekend because there definitely wasn’t any boxing. ESPN’s Friday Night Fights took place in the Motor City and people wore gloves and trunks, attempting to hit each other. The main event saw Koba Gogoladze gain a majority decision over Antonio Davis. Gogoladze had a comfortable lead but gave away three points in the final three rounds for holding. Antonio Davis could have won this fought but lost valuable time when he scampered into the crowd to protect his instigating wife from a fan. No punches were thrown in that altercation either.
The only interesting facet that arose from the Friday Night Fight telecast was an interview with Evander Holyfield. And by “interesting” I mean “heartbreaking.” The four-time Heavyweight champion said he is ready to get back in the ring after doctor clearance. What got Holyfield to the top of the division was his desire to prove everyone wrong. He doesn’t know when to quit, even though he has lost his last three fights, including his final bout against Larry Donald. Someone close to Evander needs to tell him that when you start losing to guys with two first names, it’s time to hang ’em up.
Old, Balding, Hairy Heavyweights
Those of you that missed the days of Chuck Wepner and Ray Mercer, meet the WBA Heavyweight champion Nicolay Valuev. This young man turns 33 this year and stands a mere seven feet tall while weighing 325 lbs. Valuev is a native Russian and defends his title on April 1st against Calvin Brock. So all you peeps out there with the Wepner Fetish be sure to tune in to Showtime for that one.
Weekend Results You Don’t Care About
– Sechew Powell remained unbeaten as a Light Middleweight with a dominant unanimous decision over Robert Frazier.
– Juan de la Rossa KO’d Tremayne Hines in the first. Juan is the young man from Contender that quit the show to protect his future. He actually got up from a knockdown to put Hines away.
– Middleweight prospect John Duddy remained unbeaten with a unanimous decision over Julio Jean.
– On the same card as Duddy, Light Middleweight prospect Yuri Foreman also remained unbeaten by knocking out Jimmy “Don’t Call Me Matt” LeBlanc in the 1st round.
– Tommy Hearns (sigh…yes that Tommy Hearns) gained a 10th round TKO over Shannon Landberg in his never-ending quest to win a title. The same sentiment I expressed about Evander Holyfield can be inserted here as well.
Jockscraps – The stories they won’t tell
‘Stanky Drawers’ To Blame for Jerramy Stevens Poor Super Bowl Performance
Bill Cowher has put together some defensive packages that have given many quarterbacks a headache. Peyton Manning is surely a student of the game, but even he couldn’t get past the Steelers’ defense. So when Jerramy Stevens followed up his pre-game talk with four dropped passes, reporters began to wonder if it was more than just jitters. A post-game interview with Seahawks tight end Jerramy Stevens divulged some interesting information about the University of Washington product.
When asked what was the main reason for his struggles on the field, Stevens dropped his head and stared at the floor. He then lifted his head and said, “I made a doodie in my pants.”
Reporters were stunned by this news. One reporter asked when the accident happened and Stevens answered, “Oh man, it was early in the game, some point in the first quarter. Problem was that I didn’t know it was me. I smelled it in the huddle but I just thought it was Walter Jones. I actually saw Bobby Engram covering his nose during a huddle and I just motioned my head towards Walter.”
Stevens didn’t realize it was him until he was changing after the game. “Most embarrassing moment of my career. Ain’t that the pig’s behind, though? Biggest game of my life and I’ve got stanky drawers. This is the first time that I’ve made it in my pants. I let down my teammates and I apologize.”
Afterwards, Walter Jones was the first to hear from Stevens about what had been troubling him during the game. “That’s just f—ing nasty,” was Jones’ lone response.
Stevens vows this will never happen again. No matter the magnitude of the game, Jerramy Stevens will never let stanky drawers interfere with his game. Not even skid marks. “I’m better than that,” claims Stevens.
Spit Bucket
This is where I will share emails and links with my two readers. I received no emails regarding Body Blows and I don’t think you want to hear about the ones I received regarding home mortgage or my Dad’s career advice. Onto the links.
Reverend Sick reviews the latest UFC event and the mega-fight between Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture. The Holy One does a fine job but someone needs to teach this man how to compose a haiku.
Tom Gubitosi doesn’t have as funny a last name as I do. Tom recaps the entire weekend of sports, which pretty much means the Super Bowl.
Patrick Nguyen uses large font and different colors to cover up the lack of entertainment in his column.
Steve Price preps everyone for the Winter Olympics with a hockey preview. He even manages to drop some names funnier than mine. Okay, maybe not.
Send in those emails kids. And you might want to check out ESPN’s Friday Night Fights this week. It’s actually not going to suck this time.
