Welcome to a very special Monday Night Rabble…
Due to dogs running in circles your standard Rabble has been replaced with us goofing off with a pile of DVDs.
We actually only end up watching two of them, but they star wrestlers that we’ve mostly never seen before.
Watch all of it unfold HERE at the:
M O N D A Y
N I G H T
R A B B L E
Joining us is:
Bill aka ‘ECW’s Bloodiest Matches Ever’
Hernandez aka ‘619’
Jenna aka ‘Steel Cage Matches From Hell’
Dani aka ‘From The Vault: Shawn Michaels’
And Me – Your MC – James Hatton
Now given that tonight is the Westminster Kennel Club – and we’re not going to be meeting up on Thursday – we’ve decided to grab Hernandez’s video collection and give you just random matches from random DVDs including some great Hardcore stuff – some awesome steel cage stuff – and a couple cheesy treats that I want to see so bad it hurts me in my special place.
So, without further adieu – our first match comes to you from:
ECW’S MOST VIOLENT MATCHES
Cactus Jack & Mikey Whipwreck vs. Public Enemy
For the ECW Tag Team Titles
08/27/94
“I wasn’t even born then… no wait..” – Bill
Rocco is in the ring with the mic, and god knows what he’s saying.
Starts in the ring with Mikey Whipwreck…
“Jamie didn’t you have that shirt?” – Hernandez
“No… mine had a Wizard..” – Me
“That’s a red dragon… he had the prismatic dragon..” – Bill
So Mikey taps in Mick.
“I can’t remember if Mick has his ear at this point..” – Hernandez
So Mick is on his way to go find Mikey who has bailed, and the Enemy grab Cactus and toss him back in the ring. Doubleteam curbstomping – and in comes Mikey with a board and cracks the board over both Public Enemy.
“That’s an EXTREME piece of cardboard” – Hernandez
So now the Mick/Mikey combo in the ring doin the bang bang… and they mill about waiting for Grunge to get back into the ring. Both P.E. head in and a lock-up between Mick and Rocco. To the corner and a slap to Mick and Rocco finishes with the cabbage patch…. Mick comes out and lock up again. Roc tosses him back into the corner with many shoulderblocks. Tosses him to the counter corner and a back elbow from Mick Foley.
“And it’s funny how to realize that the jokes are based on knowing who they are..” – Bill
“Look – it’s Mick Foley!” – Hernandez
So Foley tags in Mikey and hurls him at P.E. – then throws them down at both men. Mikey in the midst of the ring hits Rocco with a dropkick and a backbody drop.
“So Mick used Mikey as a weapon, that’s good stuff.” – Hernandez
“Is Mikey Whipwreck an exotic weapon?” – Bill
OUtside the ring, Mick hits Johnny Grunge with a neckdrop. Mick now has a chair out and he’s going man to man chair to chair head to head while Mikey stands around aimlessly… then finally grabs Grunge and slams him into a table and rolls Grunge into the ring.
DDT from Grunge to Mikey right onto a chair. Shortarm clothesline from Grunge. Standing suplex…
“Bill, would you wear pink tights if you wrestled?” – Hernandez
“If they made me.. but not if I had the choice.” – Bill
Leg drop the back of the neck from Rocco to Mikey and a pin for two as Mick takes Grunge out of the ring. Rock tosses Whipwreck with a nice powerslam and a kneedrop to his face – Cactus stops the count.
“It is so good that Mick is there… Mikey is begging for him to stop.” – Bill
Big back bodydrop from Grunge.
“OW! I LANDED ON MY D-4!” – Bill
Faceslam from Grunge and ANOTHER kickout from Mikey. Tag to Rocco – double clothesline. Picks up Mikey, tag to Rocco and a top rope elbow…. for TWO!? Mick charges in now as Rocco kicks another pin from the two.
“He stopped his own man’s pin!” – Hernandez
“That’s horrible on all account” – Bill
So from here Mick drags Rocco to the arena floor, and through the chairs they go. Mick hits him with somebody’s crutch. Now bad camera angles get the best of us as we mill around the audience throwing garbage and things. They mill around… and back into the ring Mikey is still dead. Rocco tosses in a table and the PE get it set-up while Mick tries to get to his feet.
They set Mick on the table
“I’ll just crawl on here where it’s safe….” – Hernandez
Rocco with the MOONSAULT through the table…
“…not so safe…” – Hernandez
“Rosebud” – Me
“It was a table?” – Bill
The table is cleared out and Grunge hits the reverse ddt…. and Rocco on the top…
“He’s rolling for crit.” – Hernandez
Mick grabs Rocco’s leg.
“Aww fumble.” – Bill
“He dropped his weapon” – Jenna
In the ring, Mikey rolls up Grunge… HE GETS IT!
WINNER: MICK AND MIKEY!
So we figure we’re going to have one more ECW match..
“I wanna see Balls” – Jenna
“…welllll… ok…” – says Bill unzipping.
OOookay, moving on… what match next?
“So I was trying to figure out what the difference between a Taipei Deathmatch and a Mexican Deathmatch is.. then I realized.. it’s the ingredients..” – Bill
“Jamie.. there’s a Jericho match on here – and you know it’s been awhile since we got to Rabble Jericho” – Hernandez
FOUR CORNERS MATCH FOR THE ECW TV TITLE
Shane Douglas vs. Chris Jericho vs. 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Pitbull #2
Heatwave 06/13/96
“Wow it’s like real life.. it’s 10:30 and we’ve seen one match..” – Bill
So as Pitbull is coming down with Francine and KWANG a chair from Shane. Now in the ring 2 Cold is dropping Jericho with hits.
“Ahh look Jericho.. just where I remember him.. on his knees.” – Hernandez
So a quick exchange 2 Cold Scorpio and Jericho with a quick exchange ending in Scorpio bailing. Scorpio drops Jericho, slams him down, and drops him with a legdrop. Scorpio goes for the elbow, but Jericho grabs him and hits a tigerbomb for two.
“Where’s Pitbull?” – Hernandez
“I think he’s still KWANG’D” – Me
Now a chop fight between Jericho and Scorpio, finished with a spinning heel from Scorpio who tags in Shane Douglas.
“When he had muscles.” – Hernandez
Franchise goes for a suplex, but reversed from Jericho.
“Dean Douglas.. goin to take him to school… or not.” – Hernandez
A sideheadlock takeover from Jericho. Back to their feet and a big hit. He jumps outside leaps over the top and hits a slight knee. Grabs Douglas and headpounds him to the corner. He fakes a tag to Scorpio and heads over to Shane again.. Shane tries to fight out, but gets slammed down by Jericho and Lionsaulted for two…
“Come on Enraged Raspberry!” – Hernandez
Jericho tags in Pitbull, who is broken open. Shane tags in Scorpio and the crowd goes livid – they apparently had some kind of feud. Pitbull grabs and throws Scorpio.. PRESS SLAM ONE HANDED! Scorpio rolls it for a pin for two. Pitbull grabs a pressslam again into a powerslam for two.
Pitbull tosses Scorpio to the ropes AGAIN – he leaps onto Pitbull’s shoulders, but gets powerbombed instead. Scorpio fights to his feet, and drops Pitbull for two. They fight to the ropes and a double leg flip throws Pitbull to the outside.
Scorpio comes out with a chair, and drops Pitbull right onto it.
“It’s a bad day to be Pitbull with chairs..” – Me
Tag to Shane and a belly to back to Pitbull for two. Tag to Jericho – he picks up Pitbull and a snapmare with a kick to the back. Dropkick to the back of the head. Throws Pitbull to the ropes – Bull ducks a clothesline and Chris eats a back elbow. Jericho leaps for the Thesz Press but gets caught and SPINEBUSTER’D!
Jericho ducks a clothesline and a spinning heel kick – german suplex with a bridge looks messy! Ouch… two count.
“..grandeur of being a rockstar right there” – Hernandez
Toss Bull to the ropes.. leaps, powerbomb. Tag to Scorpio and he slams down Jericho – heads to the top – but, Jericho hits him to the ropes and they fight now on the top… both men fighting up there.
“Hurricanrana him!” – Hernandez
Jericho Hurricanrana’s him.
“Thank you.” – Hernandez
Jericho goes for the pin, and Shane tags himself in. Goes for the pin for two, and then throws a crossbody to Scorpio! They both bail to the outside and Scorpio sets some big fists and drops Shane RIGHT onto the same chair that Pitbull ate earlier. Back in the ring WITH the chair – set it up – BULLDOG right onto it! Goes for a pin, gets two – and a tag to Pitbull. HARD tag from Shane to Jericho.
“OUCH! THAT HURT!” – Hernandez
Roll-up from Jericho… he picks him up but Pitbull falls back for two. Headslam to the corner. Chris eats some kicks.
“So Jamie, what do you think seeing Jericho after all these months” – Hernandez
“I’ve missed him.” – Me
Jericho runs to the corner – leaps and misses faceplanting himself.
“Him too…” – Hernandez
Tag from Bull to Scorpio who hits a double underhook suplex. Jericho tags Bull and Pitbull throws Scorpio to the corner, bringing him up to the top. TOP ROPE Fallaway slam for —- SHANE tags Scorpio!
Bull and Shane now go armbar reversal for armlock reversal… and Jericho out of nowhere LAUNCHES himself… and not to be outdone.. SCORPIO lands on all three.
“LET’S HUDDLE TOGETHER FOR SAFETY!” – Bill
“Let us make a teepee!” – Me
Scorpio gets tossed to the outside, and Jericho goes after him. Punch to Punch as the ECW fans offer chairs. Finally everyone comes back to the ring after a long wait spot of useless camera work.
“I do ECW camera work” – Me
In the ring, Shane hits the bulldog on Pitbull RIGHT onto that chair.
“We saw that spot already, thank you.” – Hernandez
Pitbull gets to his feet and says ‘BRING IT’ and now square punches to the nog from Pitbull… tosses Shane to the corner – bounces into the full press slam. Shane falls out of it just as Jericho leaps off and dropkicks him down. Pitbull goes for the pin – Jericho stops it – Jericho for the pin – Pitbull stops it and heads out. Spinning toe hold from Jericho.
“Look! Jericho knows a move!” – Hernandez
“WHAT?! That’s appropro of nothing… that’s the man of 1003 holds!” – Me
Finally to their feet – Shane tags in Scorpio and walks into a suplex from Jericho. Lionsault – BUT A DROPKICK TO CHRIS’S HEAD! OUCH! Scorpio hits a powerbomb… long pause as Scorpio is going to tag Shane, but Jericho tries to roll him up for two, and a tag to Shane – a cheapshot from Shane and a superkick from Scorpio. Tombstone Piledriver from Scorpio. He hits the Tumble – which is a spinning heel drop…. gets the pin.
CHRIS ELIMATED AT 27 MINUTES!?!?!?!
“Oh.. this was elimination.. eesh..” – All of us
Shane with Scorpio in the ring now.
“…Jericho losing… nothing new…” – Hernandez
(Jamie types this with his eyes rolled)
Scorpio now with big fists.. and dropkicks to Shane AND Pitbull! Tosses Shane to the ropes and RIGHT into an abdominal stretch.
“He’s trying to stick a finger in…” – Bill
The boring chant ends with Shane on the mat for two. Shane out of NOWHERE hits a belly to belly suplex. Gets to the second rope before Scorpio gets up and hits a top rope sunset flip for two – big kick to Pitbull and now all three men in the ring. Scorpio slams Pitbull. Slams Shane on top of him. Goes to the top and NOBODY IS THERE! Shane goes for a HARD DDT. Shane sets him up for a superbomb on Pitbill’s shoulders…
2 COLD SCORPIO ELIMINATED AT 32 MINUTES
Shane goes RIGHT after Pitbull.
“This is like four matches for the WWE…” – Hernandez
“And it is solid.” – Me
“It is..” – Hernandez
“Just very… very… long” – Bill
Outside the ring they fight around a bit, and fans offer chairs.
“We need an Ultimate Warrior match to round this out.” – Bill
Pitbull throws in some chairs – rolls in and sets them up table style. Shane comes in just in time to get set up in to a powerbomb through TWO chairs… hawt. Styles gives us the OH MY GAWD! Pitbull leaves and comes back with a table…
“What else do you need to prove?!?” – Hernandez
In come the table – sets it in the corner, wrong side out. Reversal to reversal in the corner and Shane HITS the belly to belly! Francine on the apron and Shane brings her on in for a nice kiss. Pitbull charges, and everyone ducks to kill some ref. Tosses Shane into the ropes – Press Slam – FRANCINE WITH POWDER TO PITBULL! Oooooo TURN!
Francine drops her skirt to show us some ass that says ‘FRANCHISE’ – Pitbull One has joined us outside to try and wake his buddie…. Pitbull wakes up to go face to face with Shane as a mostly naked Francie watches on. Clothesline from Pitbull. Another. BIG CLOTHESLINE to the outside! Pitbull #1 in the ring now with Francine.
“Did she think she would get away with this” – Joey Styles
“umm.. yes?” – Bill
Pitbull #2 sets up the table. Pitbull #1 gets her set up for the superbomb.
“And the match isn’t over.” – Hernandez
“And look she’s totally turned on by this.” – Me
BAM! She eats table!
“..and an orgasm.” – Bill
Shane uses the belt on PB#1! On #2! Pin! Two Count! He uses part of the table on #2! Pin! Two count! Shane grabs knucks…. Hits with it! Pin!
“Why didn’t he do that before?” – Hernandez
TWO COUNT!
“Oh.. that’s why” – Hernandez
Shane grabs a CHAIN! TWO COUNT
“As Joey goes batshit crazy!” – Bill
Pitbull THROWS Shane to the corner… misses with a spinning heel in the corner and flies to the outside. He charges back in and eats the belly to belly!
THAT’S IT!
WINNER: SHANE DOUGLAS!
What did we think?
“Long..” – Bill
“Anytime I get to make fun of Jericho.. it’s fun for me” – Hernandez
“ECW – great wrestling – long everything else” – Me
So now we’ve decided to take a downturn into the world of the WWE… and who better than the first time we’ve ever seen him on the Rabble – even though he’s been referenced countless times… are you ready?
As a note – the Bloodbath: Steel Cage Matches DVD has the greatest menu music ever.
ISAAC YANKUM vs. BRET HART!
Steel Cage Match
We start off with a discussion from Coach talking about the direction of WWE.
“Evil dentists!!!!” – Bill
Then we get a quick perspective from Jerry Lawler about his feud with Bret Hart, and him bringing in Isaac Yankum. They discuss how Jerry gets hoisted up in his own minicage.
All the while Isaac Yankum and Bret are fighting right on the top of the cage.
And… no… no match!?
“It’s like watching a regular WWE program” – Hernandez
The Rabble is both shocked and dismayed at our inability to bring you Isaac Yankum vs. Bret Hart!?
VINCE!? WE WANT FULL VERSIONS OF THESE MATCHES! DAMMIT!
Okay.. so instead..
EDGE vs. KURT ANGLE
In a steel cage… again.
2002
“Kurt looks so scrawny..” – Me
Starts off with Edge and the elbows. Kurt drops Edge and then they fight back and forth.
“This is Edge before Lita..” – Hernandez
“Given what we know now… it’s probably Edge during Lita” – Bill
“This is more the handjob phase…” – Hernandez
So Edge is the face here and he’s slamming Kurt all over the place a droptoehold sends Kurt eating mat.
“This is when Angle still had his wife.” – Hernandez
Hiptoss from Angle. Slides Angles face into the cage. Hits the ropes and a dropkick from Edge to Angle. Edge sets up for the spear as Angle MOVES and spears the cage instead.. Ouch.
“Hindsight is 20/20 unless you have a concussion” – Bill
“The cage is made of vibranium” – Hernandez
Suplex from Angle to Edge, rolls up for the pin. Two only. It’s also worth noting that Angle is wearing the headgear and the wig – as this is JUST prior to him going bald and badass. Front facelock from Angle to Edge. Edge fights out of it, tosses Kurt to the ropes and belly to belly overhead suplex.
“That’s not Kurt Angle – it’s Captain America” – Bill
Edge goes for the cage, but Angle charges – and gets kicked down.. toprope leap from Edge to Angle for two. Angle gets up quick and hits the three germans. Angle goes for the door, and Edge charges and grabs his leg and gets stomped down by Angle. Kurt sends him HEADFIRST into the cage. TWICE. THRICE.
Edge is all bleedy.
“..paying retrobution..” – Cole
“From his word of the day calendar” – Hernandez
Angle pulls him in a chinlock giving us a nice face shot.
“Pay for your future sins!” – Hernandez
Edge wraps around Angle and monkeyflips him RIGHT into the cage. Now to their feet, Edge throws clotheslines and a bulldog down for two.
“How do you understand Tazz?!” – Bill
“Someone messed with his language settings” – Hernandez
“Now he’s on Wingdings.. airplane.. apple.. cross” – Bill
Angle tosses Edge to the ropes, and Edge goes for the flying crossbody to whiff the ref.
“Wow this is when Edge could really wrestle.” – Hernandez
“He is still ok..” – Me
“Yeah, but he’s main event status now.. no being fast.” – Hernandez
To their feet… Angle hits the german, and his hair is almost falling off.
“It’s Beakman..” – Bill
Angle climbs to the top, but Edge is following. Top turnbuckle fight.. and Edge grabs Kurt and THROWS him backwards for a suplex… letting go.
“Somehow his hair is still on his head” – Tazz
“It’s the glue.” – Bill
“It’s staples.” – Me
“It’s one of those dogs from the dog show…” – Bill
So now Edge is climbing and Angle charges after him. Lowblow. ANGLE SLAM from the top turnbuckle.
“This is before WWE slowed down the style… geez.” – Hernandez
“10 no 20 no 50 feet.. wait.. that was Owen” – Bill
Kurt now TRYING to climb to the top. Kurt gets to the top. He gets to the outside and THAT’S THAT! But if you remember… the ref is unconscious. HA! TWIST!
Here comes Hulk Hogan!??!?! Hulk throws Angle into the cage a few times, and Hogan drags him RIGHT back into the cage.
“Hulk knows all about making matches restart.. just ask Yokozuna.” – Me
COMMER–NO! HA!
Back to the match Angleslam from Kurt and he only gets two. During the break Edge hits a HUGE spear for two. Angle goes for a spear on Edge.. but it’s denied and Angle goes RIGHT into the corner. Edge hits the Angleslam .. .for TWO! And this is a hot set here.
Angle gets the anklelock. Edge rolls out sending Angle into the cage, and EDGE hits the Anklelock! Angle kicks out of it. Edge falls onto the rope and gets locked boot on the 2nd rope. Angle now tries to climb the cage again. He gets to the top.. and Edge is climbing faster than anyone has ever climbed a cage before.
They fight with Angle on the OUTSIDE… and a few chinbreakers sends Angle down… Nutsfirst RIGHT onto the open cage door. Nice spot. Edge pulls him back up and THROWS HIM IN… Edge is crouched all on the top rope… this is gonna be good.
..DIVING SPEAR! DIVING SPEAR! ONE TWO THREE AND THAT IS THAT!
WINNER: Edge!
Okay – so that wasn’t the greatest Rabble ever – but we had some fun with it, and it gave us a chance to goof off.
“That was an ok main event for the Rabble” – Hernandez
“And it had Hulk Hogan!” – Bill
“Shut up.” – Hernandez
“What? Aren’t you a Hulkamaniac?” – Bill
“…no?” – Bill
“Don’t you take your.. ah…. you suck..” – Bill
“I learned it from watching you!!!” – Hernandez
See! We had fun.
