Welcome to InsidePulse’s Live Coverage of TNA Impact. I am your host Jeremy Lambert and CHRISTIAN CAGE IS NWA WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!. New stuff in italics
We begin with a recap of recent events including Christian winning the title, Rhino gore in the stands, and the Gayda crap.
Impact Opening Video.
Oh boy, we start the show off right. THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE WELCOME THE NEW NWA WORLD CHAMPION…..CHRISTIAN MO FUCKIN CAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Christian dedicates his win to everyone who has been held back. So he dedicates it to half the WWE roster. “Christian, you don’t have IT” maybe he should have search EBay. Christian just talks about the history of the NWA World Title. Monty Brown vs. Christian Cage at Destination X is announced. THAT’S HOW I ROLL!!!!!!
Borash is backstage with Jarrett and Team Canada. Jarrett says he got screwed. Jarrett screwed Jarrett. 8 Man Tag at DX, no workers announced for the match. Jarrett is going to show the tape tonight.
Commercials
Shannon Moore vs. Roderick Strong vs. Jay Lethal:
*Come on, let Lethal win and continue the deserving push
*All 3 men trade the basics
*Leg kick by Moore sending Lethal into a german suplex by Strong
*A really cool headscissors spot by Lethal on Strong
*Moore hits a moonsault from the top to the floor on Strong and Lethal
*T Bone suplex by Moore on Lethal
*Half nelson backbreaker by Strong on Moore
*Full nelson suplex by Lethal on Strong for the win
Winner – Jay Lethal
A video package about Ron Killings plays
Commercials
Borash is with the James Gang. Bob Armstrong comes in and is now in the James Gang. Wow, this whole feud just got a whole lot worse. Ha, BG just said “Mom is gonna kill me.” That was pretty funny.
LAX vs. Jobbers
*Instead of calling this match, I’ll talk a bit about Homicide. I watched Homicide/LowKi vs. Joe/Lethal on YouTube the other day and I was real impressed with Homicide. One things for sure, he can dish out a beating and Jay Lethal can take one. There were some really cool spots in that match as well. Search for it on YouTube of you haven’t seen it.
*Homicide hits a top rope bulldog for the win.
Winners – LAX
After the match, Konnan gets on the mic and rambles.
Commercials
Zybsko is backstage with Samoa Joe and Borash. Zybsko sucks up to Joe wile Joe stands there and says “Shut the f*ck up, I know I own you.” Zybsko announces Joe/Daniels/Styles, Ultimate X for DX. Joe says Larry made a mistake and he’s gonna kill Daniels, Styles, and Larry.
Austin Aries vs. Christopher Daniels:
*Hey look, it’s pre-Aries push all over again. Remember when he wrestled and lost to Daniels like every week on Impact in some match or another? I sure do.
*Daniels has his neck taped up because he got dropped on his damn head at AAO.
*Pendelum elbow by Aries
*STO by Daniels
*Tilt o whirl backbreaker by Daniels
*Daniels puts Aries in The Chokeout
*Joe runs down to the ring and Daniels knocks him down
*Daniels goes for the BME but Joe hits him with the belt as he lands
*Joe kicks Daniels in the face and grabs a chair
*Joe goes for the Muscle Buster but AJ runs down and hits Joe with the chair
Winner – Nobody
A video package on Ultimate X plays
Killings and Team 3D meet up backstage and do the whole WUZ UUUUUUP thing. Didn’t that die out in like 98?
Commercials
Borash is backstage with Jarrett and Shelley, they are watching the video. Gayda walks in and wants the tape. Jarrett offers her a spot on The Golddiggers. Gayda refuses. Jarrett says he’s going to put the tape on the internet because he has connections with Mark Neeley. Jarrett tells Shelley to film Stings personal life. Gayda is now part of Team Golddiggers, against her will of course.
Team Canada vs. Team 3D and Ron Killings:
*LMAO, the crowd is like really into Killings new theme which just repeats “WAS UP” a bunch of times. It’s sort of like the Bentley Bounce, but with words. Pretty funny I think.
Commercials
*The bell rings as we return. Inside information tells me that the crowd continued to chant “WAS UP” during commercials.
*Leg drop/Side walk slam combo by 3D on Petey
*3D flapjack Killings on Petey
*Jumping side kick by Killings on A1
*Backbreaker by A1 on Killings
*National Anthem by Petey on Killings. Speaking on Canada, they lost today to the Swiss in Mens Hockey. And one of those Swiss f*ckers cut Joe Sakic below the eye. If Sakic misses any NHL time, I’ll kill that guy.
*Jawbreaker by Killings on Petey
*Devon comes in and hits everything that moves
*Shoulderblock by Devon on A1
*WAS UP!!!!!!!! by 3D on Roode
*Reverse 3D on Petey
*WAS UP!!!!!!!! by Killings on A1
*Ray confuses Devon with Killings. Ray has never tagged with two black people at once, honest mistake
*Scissors kick by Killings on A1 for the win
Winners: Team 3D and Ron Killings
After the match, AMW attack Killings until Rhino makes the save. GORE GORE GORE ON HARRIS!
Borash is backstage with Monty Brown. Brown goes into Christian Cage’s locker room as….
Show Ends
