No one can say they weren’t warned that WWE RAW this week would be focused around the Billionaire’s Ass. It’s no wonder they didn’t have a countdown to the Kiss My Ass Club segment on the right hand corner of the screen. At this point, if you’re a long time viewer, no matter what you think of Vince McMahon’s actions, you really come to expect this kind of storyline right now. It doesn’t excuse it, but it doesn’t surprise me. Only in the WWE can a man with stockholders to answer to, pull his pants down on national television and ask a grown man to pucker up and kiss his ass. More on the Bring Your Own Chapstick segment later.
The Edge/Mick Foley segment to set up for WrestleMania was okay but felt like it could have been better and it was hard to shake that feeling watching it. It was obvious that Edge was setting up for it to be a non-wrestling match and unless it was going to be a cage match, I fully expected it to be a Hardcore or a Street Fight Brawl match up. I really want to commend Edge because he’s found his heel niche being the R Rated Superstar however, unless he and Foley can make this match feel special, this match seems nothing more than a regular month’s pay-per-view match up and not a heated rivalry. I still think they have time to do just that.
WWE has successfully made the WWE Tag Tam Championship something that you can never take seriously anymore. Just a simple camera shot of a jubilant Big Show and Kane backstage walking to the ring made me think of two things: 1) they are actually defending the WWE Tag Team belts?, 2) the only way the belts will ever leave their waists is if a heel turn happens. There are just no serious tag teams out there that realistically could beat them. Not only that, WWE only has tag teams when it’s convenient for them to fill time. The only thing worth mentioning that occurred during this match was The Big Show body slamming Viscera and then going for a Hulk Hogan Legdrop. This will most likely open doors for a future confrontation between Big Show and Hulk Hogan, in a effort to recapture a Andre the Giant versus Hulk Hogan nostalgia.
Always The Man Ric Flair finally got some television promo time, and discussed how he still has a title reign left in him at 57. I’m really glad they did this, however, a way to have made it even better would have been to shown actual house show video footage of the WWE Tour in Manila, Philippines where Ric Flair apparently got a Hero Worship type reaction. He could have really played it up that the world still loves the Nature Boy and crave to see them when he comes to their town.
The Money in the Bank qualifying matches, with the exception of Flair and Carlito, were obvious in who would win to advance. Bringing in Randy Orton during the Shelton Benjamin versus Chavo Guerrero match surprised me because the way the cameras were placed, I at first thought a fan jumped in the ring.
The absence of Chris Masters in the tournament was surprising, but since he was used in the final segment, they could perhaps justify that he was busy being Vince McMahon’s Narcissist. The right people won and I’m interested to see Ric Flair work with the likes of Rob Van Dam and Shelton Benjamin in a spot-fest ladder match. If the WWE audience thought the bumps Flair took with Edge were insane on January 16, 2006 was crazy, I think we can expect a lot more “you really shouldn’t do that with Ric Flair” like moments during WrestleMania 22.
Thanks to the reader Johnny M. who pointed out to me that Trish Stratus versus Candice Michelle was for this past RAW and not WrestleMania, so I’m happily mistaken on that one. The interesting placement of Torrie Wilson and Mickie James at ringside was interesting, with the absent Victoria no where around. I honestly wasn’t even sure Trish would retain with the push Candice is going to receive through being the newest Playboy cover girl. Once more the memorable moment of the match was the in-ring celebration with Mickie and Trish, with Mickie doing the Shawn Michaels bow to Trish and then eventually, doing some, up-close appreciation in the Stratusphere. If Vince hadn’t bared his ass on television once more, that would have been the most shocking moment on RAW. Now is the time, with once again perfectly played facial expressions, they can start someone turning now. They have to make it a WrestleMania match, they’ve given such time into this angle, and I’m still trying to figure out if that many Mickie James signs were plants or people like me who are fans of the character and the angle. That shotgun slap Candice Michelle gave Torrie Wilson should set some logs burning on a new fire – hopefully cue in the most misused woman in two years, Victoria.
The most entertaining aspect of the show for me was the interesting promo with John Cena and Triple H. John Cena isn’t acting or looking like the WWE Champion when you put him in the same breathing space with Triple H. It’s calling the kettle black to admit out loud that Cena isn’t their best, most respected athlete in the WWE. I understand how they want to play up the Rocky idea because there is the Rocky persona in him to prove everyone wrong. However, to ever get a “one up” over Triple H, was completely unacceptable by the DC audience. I definitely feel the possibility of the fans turning Cena by WrestleMania is very likely when you have him against a respected, established character like Triple H is. No matter how you feel about The Game, there is a expected amount of excellence that he has as champion, for a lot of fans, cheering Triple H is the lesser of two evils.
Finally, the show ended with Vince McMahon’s Billionaire Ass on proud display for the audience to giggle at. Vince was distracting me with his referencing Lilian Garcia twice with his pants down as well as Marty Jannetty doing his best not to crack up at having to hear Vince do a monologue with his ass in his face. Jannetty does the sell with Masters, and Michaels runs out and does a almost-missed super kick to Masters for the save. McMahon does the brief beg-off, as “Here Comes The Money” Shane McMahon runs in and hits HBK for his Pops. This sets up more Saturday Night Main Event fun, since it will be Shane-o versus HBK in a Street Fight. That should be great, it’s just a shame that Shane McMahon can’t get any mic time himself. Naturally, HBK is forced into kissing Vinny’s ass anyhow and impromptu Vince suggests that he will be kicking Shawn’s ass at WrestleMania. It’s no secret to the Internet Wrestling Community anyway so there’s no point in pretending the match isn’t happening which is why the (not so) forced retirement could have just as well be a contract signing. I’m unclear right now to what the real main event as Wrestlemania is, either of the WWE championships or Michaels versus McMahon. I would book this match third on the card, the WWE Heavyweight Championship (Kurt Angle versus Rey Mysterio Jr. versus Randy Orton) second and WWE Championship (Triple H versus John Cena) last.
A special shout out to my new friends over at WRWR, Sirius Satellite Radio for having me on their show tonight to discuss the wacky world of professional wrestling! Always remember, for things to change, you have to make movement. Thanks for reading and for all the feedback, feel free to contact me anytime at Bam@4sternstaging.com.
