Welcome back to ringside folks. Lets go ahead and get into it this week.
News & Shit
Saturday Impact Rating: 0.9
So, does this mean Scott Steiner is ratings? Sadly, to an extent, yes. TNA basically put on the same show they always put on except Scott Steiner was present. Apparently the name Steiner still has some value left in the wrestling business. In the short term, this could be a good deal for TNA. Steiner could bring in some new fans who will catch guys like Joe, Styles, Christian, Daniels, and others and hopefully they will be hooked from there. Even with this rating, TNA should not sign Steiner to a long term deal. In the long term, Steiner’s body will wear out and he will blow more spots than usual and he will get even more boring on the mic. Right now though, he’s fresh. He hasn’t wrestled in a few years so maybe his body is good and ready to go. He also hasn’t been heard from in a few years so his whole mic gig isn’t completely boring right now. A 0.9 rating is good, now that trend has to continue.
Screwed again?
Fuck the Montreal Screwjob, that’s right, f*ck it. Actually, a much better idea hit me, lets compare the Montreal Screwjob to the Time Slot Screwjob:
Bret Hart was the best wrestler in the WWF. He could deliver in so many ways that Vince McMahon decided to put the World Title on him. Along came Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels could also deliver on many levels that Vince now had two loyal employees who were World Title material. Hart and Michaels tear the house down every night whether they were against each other or working opposite ends of the card. Finally, we arrive to Montreal. Bret Hart is supposed to retain the World Title on this night. Sadly, Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels screw Bret Hart out of the World Title. No worries, Bret just goes to WCW and gets another shot to prove himself. In WCW, Bret is misused and mistreated. Bret was finally injured and was forced to retire.
Now, I change some words around and here’s what I come up with:
TNA was a top wrestling promotion. They could deliver in so many ways that SpikeTV decided to give them a TV slot. Along came UFC. UFC could also deliver on so many levels that SpikeTV now had two programs that were primetime material. TNA and UFC brought in the ratings no matter which night they were on. Finally, we arrive to April. TNA is supposed to go primetime in this month. Sadly, SpikeTV and UFC screw TNA out of the primetime slot. No worries, TNA gets out of head to head with WWE on April 1st and gets a one night primetime slot. Well, SpikeTV decided to take that from them and now the Hall Of Ceremony will most likely beat Impact in the ratings.
See the parallel there? Ok, so maybe it’s not the same big deal as Montreal was, but it still sucks. SpikeTV should have given TNA that Thursday at 9 slot in order to keep TNA away from WWE. Listen, I love TNA as much as the next guy, but even I feel like taping it that night so I can watch the Hall Of Fame Ceremony and the induction of Bret Hart. TNA ratings will slip on this night and SpikeTV has nobody to blame but themselves.
Hey look, it’s the same damn cage
So TNA is promoting Lockdown by having a Cage Match on Impact this week. Good move? Sure, if they give these guys enough time and don’t turn it into a stupid brawl in the cage. The only bad thing is Team Canada and Team 3D have fought so many times that I’m pretty damn bored with this feud. Hopefully, this caps off the feud between these two teams. I also hopes that this means Canada/3D isn’t going to take place at Lockdown. There’s no sense in having both of these teams fight in a cage match just a few weeks apart. That means at Lockdown it needs to be AMW/3D to finally end that feud. Of course, that match has yet to be announced so I would dwell on it too much right now.
Well really no matches have been announced for Lockdown at this point so I’ll run down a quick card with some input. Note, as usual, I don’t read the spoilers so I don’t know what’s happening this Saturday on Impact.
*Christian Cage vs. Abyss for the World Title: This match is pretty much booked. Mitchell, Abyss, and Shelley are going to hunt down Christian and tape him this week on Impact. Christian will most likely get upset at this and thus a match is born. I’m looking forward to the build more than the match for this one. Christian and Mitchell are two of the best talkers in TNA at this moment. The match should be pretty good but probably won’t top last years Main Event of AJ and Abyss.
*Scott Steiner, America’s Most Wanted, & Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting, Team 3-D, & Ron Killings: That’s right, Ron Killings over Rhino. Now most people are saying that this match will be Steiner, AMW, and Jarrett against Sting, Killings, Rhino, and a Mystery Partner. Well, I like my idea better. If they go with the rumored match, it will mean two things. 1. TNA will have to bring in Goldberg for the fans to actually give a shit about the mystery partner and 2. Team 3-D will face Team Canada or a throw together feud with LAX earlier in the night, I look forward to neither of the two. That’s why I’m not a fan of TNA and Mystery Opponents/Partners. They always drop the ball with them. Last year at Lockdown, the Mystery Partner to replace Nash was…BG James. Wow, like I give a damn about BG James. At Final Resolution, Raven’s Mystery Opponent was Sean Waltman. Again, I don’t give a damn about Sean Waltman. Now if they go with the rumored match, the Mystery Partner will probably be somebody like Kevin Nash. Again, I don’t care about Kevin Nash. Now they could bring in Luger or Warrior, but I don’t care about him either. Hell, I don’t care about Goldberg but he’s better than Luger, Nash, or the Warrior. The only person TNA could bring in to make me care would be Chris Jericho, and that’s not going to happen. In conclusion, TNA should go with my idea, because my booking is better than theirs.
*Samoa Joe vs. Sabu: Again, this is all but signed. Zybsko said that Joe will be out of the X Division and into the Heavyweight Division. Well, welcome to the Heavyweight Division, Joe. Meet Sabu, a man willing to get the shit beaten out of him and take senseless bumps for no reasons. Sure, he may blow a spot or 10 but you can get his Arabian face off. In all honesty, Joe vs. Sabu is a guilty pleasure dream match of mine. Nobody can take a beating like Sabu and nobody can dish out a beating like Joe. I’m waiting for Sabu to leap off the top of the cage and Joe just casually move out of the way and watch Sabu go splat. I would rather Jeff Hardy go splat but he seems content on smoking weed, writing horrible music, and crying because Matt Hardy, Edge, and Christian all have jobs while he was labeled “The Next Shawn Michaels”. Anyway, I’m looking forward to this match and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.
*Christopher Daniels vs. Jack Evans: Will it happen? Of course not, but this is my dream card so deal with it. I have recently loaded up on a good collect of ROH DVDs and I’ve been impressed with Jack Evans gymnastic ability. Evans could do a bunch of high spots so we all cream our pants, Daniels could do a little something called wrestling, and we all win with an entertaining match. Of course, Daniels is slated to take on some Japanese jobber but whatever. Either match will be good and either match would have the exact same result, Daniels wins.
*AJ Styles vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Petey Williams: Hey look, an X Division throw together match. I say they bring back Ultimate Xscape and throw these 4 guys in the mix. Now this match could accomplish two things. 1. Petey Williams wins setting up Daniels/Petey at the next PPV and 2. AJ/Shelley begin a feud. We’ve seen Petey/Daniels but it’s Petey/Daniels so you can’t really go wrong there. We’ve also seen Shelley/AJ but those have always been glorified Impact squash matches. AJ/Shelley with actual build would be awesome on so many levels. Shelley has all the tools to carry an X Division feud by himself (and with AJ, he has to) and both guys can flat out go in the ring. That of course leaves Chris Sabin to continue his work on Team USA for the World X Cup. See, everyone wins through this match.
Now out of that card I’ve left off guys like Rhino, Team Canada, James Gang, LAX and some others, well…f*ck em. Maybe Rhino can take on Bobby Roode while Eric Young teams with A1 to take on James Gang and LAX can face The Naturals, whatever, I don’t care. I like Rhino and everything but with Monty Brown out, there’s nothing for him to do. Anything that I didn’t put on the card will just be thrown together anyway.
YouTube Match Of The Week
Now I was discussing with my partner in crime, Mark Neeley, about WWE banning videos on YouTube. Now I have a problem with this. It’s that WWE doesn’t have the right to do this, because they do. But this is just a ploy for them to get me to buy WWE 24/7. Fine, I’ll buy WWE 24/7, there’s just one problem. None of the major cable companies carry it. Hell, I would love to buy WWE 24/7 and relive past years but I can’t. So until WWE gets 24/7 on the major companies, they should leave YouTube alone.
Anyway, TNA actually has an account on YouTube, so they aren’t going anywhere.
Now because of my displeasure with WWE, I present to you….
Match: Undertaker vs. Kane
Event: Some Bedroom
Rating: -***********
See WWE, if you ban videos from YouTube, we will be forced to put up with two chinks thinking they’re wrestlers.
Plugs
Hevia is back with new material.
Eric keeps his column short because he wrote this long ass piece
Andy Mac previews the upcoming ROH show.
Vinny says Advantage TNA.
Neeley somehow sits through a bunch of Jeff Jarrett matches. Get this, they all suck.
Another special plug this week:
NRW Forums. I happen to be a moderator here so sign up, discuss wrestling, and I won’t ban you.
The End
I’m gone for this week. Just a note, I won’t be doing Impact Coverage tomorrow night because I will be out of town. So without my coverage, I encourage everyone to check out The NeelDown report on the show. Drop me a line at AMPLine4Life@aol.com and join me next time At Ringside.
