Welcome everyone to InsidePulse’s Live Coverage of WWE Smackdown! I am your host Jeremy Lambert. That’s right, Mr. TNA journeys back into the world of WWE for one night only. SD is preempted where Steve is currently located so I decided to take one for the team and cover the show. I don’t know what the current product is like but I do know that WM is this Sunday, which means there will be a lot of hype for it. New stuff is in italics.
We begin with a video package on Randy Orton crying about not winning on SNME and saying that he’s the best wrestler in WWE. Wait a second, last week Rey jobbed to Finlay and Angle jobbed to Henry? Yeah, they look real strong going into Mania.
Rey Mysterio begins the show. He has some new theme that I didn’t recognize who it was until he jumped out of the stage. Rey says that his dream will come true on Sunday. Rey says that “there’s someone who says I don’t deserve to be in the main event” “he calls me a charity case”. Rey, I hate to break it to you, but there’s more than one person saying that. Rey calls out Orton. Then Rey calls out Long to make the match official. Make up your mind on who you’re calling out. Rey doesn’t get Long or Orton, he gets…KURT FREAKIN ANGLE! Angle wants to face Orton tonight. Angle cuts a pretty bad promo by Angle standards. Is this an off night for him or as he sucked this much since coming to SD? Now here comes Orton. Holy hell, I just took a good look at Angle and he’s skinny…like Lindsay Lohan skinny. Angle and Rey bicker over who faces Orton tonight. Orton makes a handicap for tonight…well, he teases it. Orton is about to leave when Theodore Long comes out. Long and Orton bicker over the handicap match. Angle says that Rey is a better opponent than Orton. Orton wants to see Rey vs. Angle and says “the crowd will be happy with this” yet when he announces the match, the crowd is 3/4ths dead. Now Orton instigates the fight between Rey and Angle. Secutiry escorts Orton out and Orton is mad because he wanted to see Rey and Angle beat each other up. Does he not have a TV at the hotel room or something?
Commercials
We are back and Orton is leaving the arena.
*Chris Benoit vs. Animal:
-Animal comes out and looks all biker or something. He complains about not being on the WM card. Wow, Animal looks like Mr. Slave from South Park.
-Animal gets the best of Benoit to start but Benoit shoves Animal that he’s Chris Benoit.
-Benoit hits the Hat Trick on Animal. I see what Eric has been talking about with Cole. He makes no mention of the Hat Trick even though we know that’s whats coming.
-Animal goes to hit Benoit with brass knucks but Benout ducks and locks in the Crossface for the win.
Winner – Chris Benoit
JBL greets Benoit backstage with a hand clap. JBL makes mention of Eddie Guerrero, yay, more mention of Eddie. The crowd of course starts an Eddie chant. Benoit says that JBL will tap out.
Commercials
This week in Wrestling History: William Perry competes in the WM Battle Royal. Oddly enough, that Battle Royal took place on April 7th, which doesn’t really count as this week now does it? I should note that March 31st (which is today for those keeping count) is the 10 year anniversary of Hart/Michaels in the Iron Man Match.
*JBL vs. Jobber:
-Am I watching Impact? As you know from my Impact reports, I don’t do squash matches.
-JBL hits the clothesline from hell for the win.
Winner – JBL
Tazz and Cole rundown the Hall Of Fame inductees.
Commercials
THE MIZ IS COMING TO SMACKDOWN! He already gets cool points for hooking up with Kendal from Road Rules.
*Booker T vs. Paul Burchill:
-I hear so many great things about Paul Burchill yet he’s stuck with this gimmick and doing nothing at WM.
-Burchill starts with the early offense and hits a standing moonsault
-Burchill hits a crossbody block and both men are down
-And now, The Boogeyman is coming to get somebody
-The Boogeyman comes from under the ring and behind Sharmall. Also, the Boogeyman doesn’t swallow. Boogeyman captures Sharmell and takes her to the back. Burchill wins by count out.
Winner – Paul Burchill
Commercials
During the break, Booker was looking for Sharmell.
*Lashley, Hardy & Tatanka vs. MNM & Finlay:
-So you’re telling me that Candice, Torrie, Boogeyman, and Henry get on WM but there’s no room for the best Tag Team in WWE, MNM? Awesome booking, just awesome.
-Why does Tatanka still have a job?
-Wait, since when does WWE put the camera on the front side of Melina during her entrance into the ring?
-Lashley comes in and takes out MNM
-Tatanka comes in and hits the 3 moves he knows. Tatanka hits a leg drop and goes for the cover but because his name isn’t Hulk Hogan, he only gets a 2 count.
-Finlay beats the hell out of Tatanka.
-Tazz and Cole bitch about Melina screaming on the outside. Yeah, I’d make her scream.
-Hardy takes out MNM
-Hardy hits the Twist Of Fate on Mercury
Winners – Hardy, Lashley, & Tatanka
Commercials
Mark Henry comes out in a suit and I guess he’s going to give us Undertakers eulogy. Henry says “for those who don’t know who I am, allow me to reintroduce myself” I was waiting for him to bust out “My name is HOV, H to the OV” but he just states that he’s Mark Henry. Henry runs down everyone that Taker has beaten at WM. “Well, all those were in the past.” Ok, so why are you talking about it? The promo just kind of ends out of nowhere. All it was was Henry running down Takers WM Victims, like we already didn’t know them. HORRIBLE PROMO!
Commercials
*Meixcools vs. Noble & Kash:
-Tazz plugs the cruiserweights to death saying “you don’t see action like this any other night of the week”.
-Noble and Kash have the early advantage and maintain it throughout the match.
-Psicosis hits Noble with a dropkick as Noble goes for a top rope crossbody
-Crazy comes in and dropkicks everything in sight
-Psicosis hits a spinning plancha to the outside on Noble. Yeah, Samoa Joe has him beat on that move.
-Crazy hits Kash with a top rope C-4 (back flip rock bottom) for the win.
Winners – Mexicools
Backstage, Booker is still looking for Sharmell. Booker steps in a pile of worms.
Commercials
Booker is still looking for Sharmell. Sharmell is on a box in a worm filled room.
Cole and Tazz run down the WM Card. Check out the Roundtable this weekend for WM picks from the staff including yours truly.
*Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle:
-Before Rey even enters we go to…
Commercials
-Angle makes his entrance
-Angle and Rey mat wrestle to begin the match
-Rey goes for the 619 but Angle moves
-Rey headscissors Angle to the outside. Rey goes for a baseball slide but Angle moves and shoves Rey into the barricade.
Commercials
-We are back and Angle is choking Rey in the corner
-Angle puts Rey in a body scissors
-Angle hits Rey with a belly to belly throw
-Angle continues to work on the back of Rey
-Rey hits a bulldog on Angle and both men are down
-Rey hits Angle with a dropkick to the face
-Rey connects with a seated senton and then does the Brokeback Mountain pin for 2
-Angle hits a german suplex on Rey
-Angle pulls the straps down
-Angle tries to put the Angle Lock on Rey but Rey kicks him off and Angle is in 619 position
-Rey goes for the 619 put Angle catches his feet and puts him in the Angle Lock for the win
Winner – Kurt Angle
After the match, Orton comes out and hits Rey with an RKO. Orton says he’s going to hit Angle with an RKO at WM. Angle comes back to the ring and we get a punch off. Orton goes for an RKO but Angle counters with an Angle Slam followed by an Angle Lock.
End Show
