Contradicting Popular Opinion
This one is mostly a brain-cleaning sort of column. I’ll rip apart a popular movie next week. Scout’s honor. Today though, we are gonna talk a little about fathers and a lot about Disney.
But first off, a retraction.
Hey … this is Jed from the Wrestling side. I read your latest CPO, the interview with McCuller. I noticed he gave me a shout-out in the “what he reads on IP” question, and, while I do very much appreciate the extra publicity, my name got misspelled. It’s a pet peeve of mine, since my last name is spelled the most phoenetical way possible (and is up all over the site, too, for verification). Could you correct it for me? It’s Shaffer. Thanks.
Jed
Disney, etc.
Also from the Inside Pulse side of things is Eric Szulczewski commenting on last week’s Disney question:
Mr. Kennedy….no, I refuse to do that:
I’m shocked, shocked, I must say, that you prompted a Disney question
and didn’t ask me first. Shame on you.Yes, Disney on Crack is a phenomenon that must be discussed. Best?
Well, you really can’t beat “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King”, but, then
again, I’m an Elton John and Tim Rice mark of long standing.
Outstanding animation, good song performance. I’d throw in the “Devil
In Disguise” montage from Lilo and Stitch, except that it’s not really
what you’re looking for.Worst? Oh, I’m going to have to go with “Just Around The Riverbend”
from Pocahontas, although you’ve got more than one crack-addled
possibility from that film. Talk about stopping a film dead for no
reason whatsoever. By the way, can anyone give me a reason for the
“Prince Ali” number in Aladdin other than giving another solo to Robin
Williams?As for creepiest, I’m going with the Ballroom scene from Beauty and the
Beast. They stop the plot dead in its tracks in order to try to slam us
over the head with showing off. Oh, look at the beautiful animation!
Oh, look how attractive the characters are! We got Angela Lansbury,Broadway musical veteran and multi-time Tony winner, to sing the title
track! You can watch this scene once. If you watch it a second time
and don’t want to retch over the cuteness, you’re either a ten-year-old
girl or have the mentality of one.However, the award for Archetypal Disney Crack-Addled Musical Number
must, I repeat MUST, go to “Topsy-Turvy Day” from The Hunchback Of Notre
Dame. If you ever want proof that these things are a formula, this
one’s got it all:1) It begins at exactly the twenty minute mark in the film and ends at
exactly the twenty-five minute mark. Virtually down to the second. It
couldn’t be more carefully placed and timed.2) It has the “Destined Hero seeing the Destined Heroine for the first
time” sequence.3) It has the meet-cute between Quasimodo and Esmeralda.
4) It’s a show-off sequence for the animators. It looked pretty good in
1996, but computer animation’s come a long way since then, and the
transitions from hand-drawn to computer are really ham-fisted.5) It puts the plot in virtual standstill to drive home the point of the
movie (in this case, that it isn’t outward appearance that counts).If Victor Hugo wasn’t rolling around courtesy of Schonberg and Boublil,
Disney sure did the trick with this number.One more thing: you can’t discuss Crack-Addled Musical Numbers without
discussing its first cousin, the Disney Solo Number That Substitutes For
Characterization. Virtually every Disney musical has one of these.
Pocahontas has “Just Around The Riverbend”. Mulan has “Reflection”.
Hunchback has two: “Out There” and “God Save The Outcasts”. Aladdin
has “One Jump Ahead”, but you can forgive that one since it at least
takes place at the beginning of the film. Probably the best of these is
“Gaston” from Beauty and the Beast, but that’s only because it’s funny
as hell. Shall we leave this open for discussion to the Unwashed as well?Eric Szulczewski
For all topics cartoon and/or drug-addled in the future, I shall consult my fellow U of C Alum. My bad.
At any rate I have a slightly different take on this thing than Eric. For one, I really Enjoy “Prince Ali” and don’t enjoy “I just can’t wait to be king” quite as much. I don’t think that has to do with the initial quality of the song, but rather the replay value of each. Lyrically, “Prince Ali” is a far more interesting song. Having a toddler I have watched both movies numerous times in the last year. So I’m inclined to prefer the song that contains such lines as :
He’s got ninety-five white Persian monkeys
(He’s got the monkeys, let’s see the monkeys)
And to view them he charges no fee
(He’s generous, so generous)
He’s got slaves, he’s got servants and flunkies
(Proud to work for him)
They bow to his whim love serving him
They’re just lousy with loyalty to Ali! Prince Ali!
Prince Ali! Amorous he! Ali Ababwa
Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see
And that, good people, is why he got dolled up and dropped by
With sixty elephants, llamas galore
With his bears and lions
A brass band and more
With his forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers
His birds that warble on key
Make way for prince Ali!
What’s not to love there? I don’t care for Robin Williams, but love rat-a-tat rhythm. Although, I should mention that I am fairly tone deaf.
As for “I just can’t wait to be King”, it’s fine. The only thing that bothers me about the number is the sequence with the crocodiles. The animation and style of the crocodiles doesn’t seem to fit with ever other scrap of animation in the movie. Watch it, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
I am also a big fan of the Lilo and Stitch montage, particularly the part where Stitch chucks the postcards at the dog that tries to sniff him. I’m a sucker for that movie, and secure enough in my manliness (or lack thereof) to admit that it makes me want to cry. They’re a broken family…
I’m not sure what Eric finds creepy about the “Beauty and the Beast” number. I mean, sure dancing is the Disney version of sex, and sure the Beast seems less than half human, and granted a teapot is singing, but… Oh. Yeah that’s just creepy. Maybe even “Pink Elephants on Parade” creepy.
Eric is definitely right about “Gaston” though. That is a f*cking great number. “I’m especially good at expectorating…”
Completing the trifecta of IP incestuousness, InsidePulse’s freelance reviewer Matt Y. has this say about the Disney question:
I had a tape once where if you recorded stuff on one side and flipped it over you could listen to the first side in reverse. As a kid this never failed at cracking me up.
The point?
If you play Hakuna Matata backwards there’s an older female voice that says “You bad man”. Maybe it was just my tape but it was truly a WTF moment for me and my friends when we first heard it.
Well, it’s like they say, “all good kids… takeofftheirclothes!” At least that is what it sounds like they say during the balcony scene of Aladdin.
Anyways, back to Disney. I’ve recently been watching a bunch of their shorts from the ’40s. It may be cliche, but it still strikes me as odd that a Mouse would own a cat and/or a dog. What complicates matters is that, depending on the cartoon, the surrounding characters are often human.
The whole thing strikes me as this weird Dr. Moreau experiment. There are these human-animal hybrids that cling to half of their human clothes. Mickey chooses just pants and shoes. Donald wears a shirt and hat but no pants or shoes. When he gets dressed up, he does wear spats without shoes. Daisy often wears a shirt and shoes, but no pants. Her bottom feathers look like a slip though. That topic is worthy of some discussion at a later date.
Pluto is treated as an animal, probably because he walks on all fours and laps the water. (Are we not men?) Goofy seems to dress entirely human all the time, but that might be due to the Pluto thing. He could go back to the doghouse at any time.
It’s just weird to me. There are regular people around. Normal human beings seem unimpressed when a half-dressed anthropomorphic duck rings their doorbell to try to sell them brushes. I would have to say, “hey, you’re a goddamn duck. Yes, I will buy a brush! And I’ll tell my friends about it. You are a miracle of nature.”
Or maybe I’d shoot it.
Either way.
Father Figure
Again, maybe it is just me, but I feel like something is going on here. Movies of late seem obsessed with the idea of “fatherly approval.” It isn’t really confined to a single genre, either. Direct-to-DVD cartoon Kronk’s New Groove is about Kronk winning the respect/approval of his father. “Dark-comedy” The Weatherman is about Nic Cage trying to impress his father. Walk the Line portrayed J.R. Cash constantly seeking acceptance from his father. Chicken Little‘s main focus is seeking his father’s love.
Maybe I just caught a bunch of similar minded flicks around the same time, but it really feels like a trend to me. Has anybody else noticed this thing?
No seriously. Tell me if I’m crazy here.
Let me try out a zany idea, and see if it works.
a. We’ve had ten years of swinging towards the right politically.
b. We seem to retain the label of adolescent longer now than in previous generations.
c. Movies often explore issues of self-discovery.
d. The boomers seem to be more affluent than Gen X.
Somehow these things add up to a daddy complex.
But maybe it is something else…
Maybe it is related to a shift in the action movie. The action movie of the late 80s and 90s were these blockbuster vehicles for Stallone, Arnold, Willis, Ford, etc. These big tough father figures would rush in, effortlessly defeat the bad guys and save the day. We don’t seem to have these movies anymore. (Although, that’s probably a good thing…)
I have much to ponder.
Pimps.
The Fifty club looks at Jaws the dramatic story of a small town Sheriff who must balance his responsibilities to his duties and to his people. It also has a shark in it!
Mark Balbaroy looks at a game on the Sega Master system. How many folks even know of the existence of the master system? Seriously.
Hatton and his friends also remember the Buddy Bears. (They always get a long. They’ll do a little dance for you and sing a little song. If you ever disagree, that means that you are wrong…)
