When the Donald introduced the task on this week’s episode of The Apprentice, which was to create a thirty-second jingle for Arby’s new natural chicken line, I was a bit disappointed. I anticipated that no matter how cleverly the candidates rhymed and schemed, the end result would be cheesy and gag-worthy. I was right, of course, but fortunately that didn’t keep this episode from being one of the most interesting of the season.
One of the most enjoyable things about this week’s show was Sean, who served as project manager for Synergy. I’ve already expressed my lustful feelings for this man, which are only partially sparked by his charming accent. But what about those eyes? And the lips! I can’t blame Allie one bit for shamelessly flirting with him during the truffle dinner at Alain Ducasse.
But even more than Sean’s appearance or turns of phrase, I love his enthusiasm. He was a fantastic leader for his team because he was excited about the project and clearly enjoyed every moment of it. Michael was the only person who had anything remotely negative to say about Sean, pointing out that he thought Sean needed to delegate a bit more. However, Sean has the respect of his team and will hopefully go far in the game. He fumbled a bit a few weeks ago on the Grape Nuts task when he gave a stuttering presentation, but if he continues to perform at the level he did this week, that shouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass. Then again, anyone who makes it to the end on i>The Apprentice is always put through the ringer regarding any past missteps they may have made.
Which is why there’s absolutely no hope for Tarek and Charmaine. It floors me that these two are still in the game. While Charmaine shone as PM on the Grape Nuts task, her errors have definitely outweighed her successes so far. And Tarek? My theory is that he’s performing sexual favors for Trump, Carolyn, George, Bill, Ivanka, or Robin (or perhaps some nauseating combination thereof) and is so mindblowingly skilled that they can’t bear to throw him out.
That would also explain Tarek’s ego. Sure, he’s a genius and has overcome his underprivileged past, two things that he has every right to be proud of. But I’m mystified as to why he keeps getting labeled the creative one and put in charge of thinking up the big ideas. On the General Motors task, he urged PM Theresa to organize their corporate event around some sort of theme, but she didn’t listen to him. But that was only part of the problem: Tarek didn’t pitch any themes to her. What reason did Theresa have to take him seriously?
And sure, Tarek, was the conductor when it came time to assemble musicians and singers to practice the jingle this week, but the arrangement was dorky. And the combination of that with the sucky lyrics Charmaine and Leslie put together made for a hideous end result. I’m typically not a fan of these subjective tasks, but Gold Rush got its ass handed to it by Synergy on this one.
And Charmaine–what a disaster! Of course, she’s managed to avoid the final boardroom so far, which supports my theory that she’s sleeping with the project managers of Gold Rush. What other reason could there be for Theresa not to call her in when she hired that crass comedienne for the GM task, and essentially wrote a list of chicken products under Bryce’s leadership this week? Plus, the waterworks have got to stop. Now, normally I’m fairly sympathetic to tears and even defended Kendra’s sentimental weeping during season three. However, if Charmaine ever does find herself in a final boardroom (which she will sooner or later), I predict that the floodgates are going to open and Trump’s going to kick her sniffling ass back to Nashville. She can’t handle working for the Donald.
Right now, I think the only member of Gold Rush that has any hope of advancing to a respectable finish in this game is Lee, although in the end, the age factor (he’s 22) will probably hurt him, as it has all of the other young players in the past. The fact that he hasn’t participated in two tasks because of his religious commitments clearly hasn’t been a problem for Trump. On the contrary, the Donald has jumped most ardently to Lee’s defense on this matter and Bryce’s decision to bring Lee into the final boardroom ultimately led to Trump firing him. If Bryce had chosen to summon Tarek or Charmaine instead of Lee, he might have been able to save himself. Lenny was frank about his lack of talent for jingle-writing, although I was pleased when Bill called him out for using his immigrant status as a B.S. excuse. Lenny is an amusing guy and certainly has a knack for deflecting blame in final boardroom situations, but he’s not long for this show. I predict that the minute he takes the reigns as project manager, he’ll fall.
At this point, the shining stars of The Apprentice 5 all reside on Synergy. Gold Rush will self-implode and leave Allie, Andrea, Sean, Michael, Roxanne, and Tammy to duke it out for the final four. My favorite pick? Definitely Allie. She’s smart, confident, and doesn’t appear to take herself as seriously as Andrea and Tammy do. Plus, she’s not afraid to hit on Sean, which shows her outstanding taste in men. Will a real romance finally blossom on this show (no, Nick and Amy from season one definitely don’t count)? Only time will tell.
