I think they should pick songs from The Who next and have them ALL sing “Pinball Wizard” cause this country is deaf, dumb and blind. But then again, it would be an Abbott & Costello skit with Kellie Pickles. “Who?”… “That’s right.”… “No, I mean WHO are we singing?”… “Right!” … “I don’t unnerstan?!?!”… “And you never will”…
Now, it wasn’t exactly a shock to see Bucky go, but it appears that everyone’s on the Ace hate train and his gig is up. He has to do something pretty astounding in order to stick around a few more weeks, and gain his fans back. And I know what that thing is: cut his hair. He looks cute with it short, it’ll shut everyone up about the Constantine comparisons, and everyone will fall in love with him again.
I think it’s pretty funny that Brian May had to post on his website a letter of apology to Ace and his fans for the poor editing job that made Ace look like a tool for wanting to change up the song.
Not much changed this week at the judges table.
Paula’s drunk off her rocker. Randy says the exact same scripted lines each week. Simon appears that he has to be held at gunpoint to watch the show for an hour. Ryan’s looking more like he wants to try out for the Professor on Gilligan’s Island, unshaven and wearing some sort of odd sweater under his jacket like he’s teaching physics. Ryan, shave and wear something hot so you resemble Josh Duhamel again.
The only thing that really changed this week was the fashion. What does Billy Joe Armstrong from Green Day have in common with Ace & Chris? Eyeliner. There was also an apparent raid at the local S&M store for Kellie and Paris…and maybe even Ace’s leather pants.
Performances:
Bucky – Fat Bottom Girls
Now, I thought this was Buck’s best performance to date. He was tossing his mike around like it was a hot potato or Britney’s baby. He did a good job making it kind of a rockabilly feel. I LOVED the clip of him practicing with the band and playing to the audience about getting some backstage passes. He’s really a likeable guy. Unfortunately, his fans aren’t strong enough and now he’s gone. Oh, and he sounds just like Boomhauer on King of the Hill.
Ace – We Will Rock You
I think Ace should sing more songs like this. I thought he was fun and energetic and actually not as pitchy and off key as has been. I was surprised the public didn’t feel the same and he ended up in the bottom 3…again. I thought he was a goner, America thought he was a goner, he thought he was a goner, wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper, too?
Kellie – Bohemian Rhapsody
What’s Bohemian? That’s a silly word. Lita Ford look-alike, I thought she stunk. Pepe Le Pew. And her stupidity is going to get on the country’s nerves faster than Ace’s stares that knocked his fans down. You could tell Simon was done with her when she said “Pay-per?…Simon, you have such funny terminology? I don’t understand your accent”….Yet she knows the word “terminology”. Oye. Please stop voting for her.
Chris – Innuendo
If Chris had sung a more recognizable Queen song, he could’ve had a lot more votes. Like during the results night montage when he was isolated out to sing “Under Pressure”. THAT would have been what Simon would’ve called his “moment”.
Katharine –
Boring. Off key. Tiny waist. Big hair. Attitude. Beautiful.
Elliott – Somebody to Love
Where’s your passion, El? Huh? That’s why you’re ending up in the bottom 3. But you do have an amazing voice and I still think one of the most memorable moments this season was “Moody’s Mood for Love”. You’ll stand out for sure during Rod Stewart week.
Taylor – Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Ugh. I think it’s taken a while for Simon to warm up to him. Now, I believe he’s cooled down a LOT. I just can’t wait for Taylor to lose his fanbase as quickly as Ace’s. I will write a haiku about it.
Taylor really stunk
Missed the mike stand kick
Simon thinks he’s drunk
I know a 4 year old could write better than that… Katharine could sing better than that at 4… but I was inspired.
Paris – The Show Must Go On
I loved Paris’s wig this week. If she ever gets the boot, she’ll be the double threat: singer/wigmaker. And if she goes back to school… that gynecologist she wanted to be.
Last week I guessed wrong on all of the songs, except one of my choices for Taylor was “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” and I did guess that Buck would get the boot.
So, as next week is Rod Stewart week, this is what I will try to make a very feeble attempt to choose who will sing what. As my odds-makers in Vegas have informed me that I suck, please don’t use this as a wagering tool.
Ace – You send me
Chris – As time goes by
Elliott – I’m in the mood for love
Kat – Blue Moon/ Embraceable you
Kellie – I only have eyes for you
Paris – My funny valentine
Taylor – What a wonderful world
I predict Rachel Hunter will be in the audience hitting on Simon.
Kimberly Stewart will be drinking out of Paula’s rum & coke.
Rod Stewart will propose to Pickles.
Leaving us, unless he cuts his hair, is my precious Ace.
