The RAW Events
— Okay we got a few questions to jump on here for tonight’s Raw. 1) Since Easter has come and gone, will god smack down Vince with his vengeance? 2) Will we see more psycho Kane to promote his movie? And 3) Will Edge get SOME kind of revenge against the two people who should not be making him look like their bitch? I got all these answers for you and more just a few scroll downs away… so check it out.
St. Louis
Hosts: Joey Styles, King and The Coach
The MAIN Events
– Kane vs. Rob Conway
Conway somehow gets some TV time tonight and its made clear as Kane’s fire hits and so he’s a jobber. Total squash from the get go. Choke slam and the 1-2-3. Kane attacks Lillian Garcia and Big Show walks out. Kane tries to choke slam Show again, but this time Show turns the tables and slams Kane regrettably.
Winner: Kane (4)
– Shelton Benjamin vs. Charlie Hass
Rules of the match go that if Shelton wins; he takes on RVD for the money in the bank. If he loses, then the IC title is on the line at Backlash. And wow, cant say I was expecting this, but Hass makes his return debut here taking on his former partner. The shock overtakes Benjamin as well as Hass gets the early upper hand. Hass screams if Shelton forgot about him and as he does that, he miss fires on a move, putting Pimp Shelton back in the drivers seat. A few knees to the back and headlock over the ropes shuts down Hass. Benjamin rams Hass into the sstteeeelll steps outside, following it up with a slam before getting back into the ring. Dragon whip misses and both guys go down. Sloppy back flip gets Benjamin down, but a hold onto the ropes counters a dropkick from Hass. Benjamin mimics RVD’s rolling thunder (actually over does it, hitting the ropes at the end) and follows it up with the splash in the corner. Spin kick to the head knocks down Hass and goes up for the five-star, but misses. Sudden roll-up gets the pin over Benjamin for the win.
Winner: Charlie Hass (1)
– Umaga w/ AAE vs. Shawn Michaels
Back and forth rights and lefts are exchange as the bell rings until Umaga hits a clothesline over Michaels to bring him to the mat. Back up, another kick knocks HBK out of the ring as Vince makes his way out. Umaga follows things up outside, getting a few shots in until he puts Shawn back in the ring. Huge knee drop falls as Vince watches smugly outside and HBK gets his second wind. Kick to the head and a few chops to the chest unloads, but is whipped into corner to corner. Bull rush misses and HBK gets a flying clothesline (twice) to put the big man down. Shawn goes up top and hits the elbow drop as he tunes up the band. AAE tries to hold up the foot giving Umaga enough time to tie Shawn into the corner upside down while he hits two head buts and whales away as the ref calls for the match. Vince picks up the pieces as he ties HBK to the ropes and grabs the sstteeelll chair. Then out of nowhere, a “lightning bolt” strikes Vince twice that scares the boss man away. Are you kidding me!?!?! Oh and just to top things off, a line of fire sparks up on the ramp.
Winner: Shawn Michaels (4)
– John Cena & Edge vs. HHH
(Note: Since I missed the last half hour of the show due to recording problems, I caught the last section of the match. So again, I apologize for missing out!!!)
Cena starts to fire back and we get a big time mixture of boos and cheers for the champ, but a spine buster hits down Cena. “Cena sucks” chants go and Edge tags himself in. Edge gets a kick in, but gets a spine buster as well for a 2! Knee lift nails Edge, but gets a heel kick for 2! Cena gets back in and attacks Edge and HHH, but a ref bump takes center stage. Sledgehammer makes its debut for the night and makes friends with Cena’s head. Spear connects on HHH and picks up the win!! FINALLY!!!! I actually cheered on that spot!
Winner: Edge (2)
Quick HEAT
— Vince starts tonight’s show wondering if he’s gonna go to hell? And the answer is “no,” because he was there earlier this morning in east St. Louis. But he doesn’t care because he is part of a new religion, McMahonism. Religious jokes insue. And so do “boring” chants. Then the strike of lightning in the form of a super kick from HBK strikes down Vince.
— Since Vince sees all, he runs into HHH backstage and takes it out on him for calling Vince an old man by putting Edge and Cena together against HHH in a handicap match.
— Chavo interview: (Note: Why is JR here!? Didn’t he get “fired”? No explanation, no nothing. Except for that one night Saturday Night match. Sigh.) Chavo made a promise to everyone and Eddie that he was going to win the IC title. Chavo wants to be a real estate broker. Um, ok. Chavo’s wrestling career has come to an end and he cries……….
— Vince is still backstage nursing his injuries as AAE introduces himself saying that he has recently converted to McMahonism (haha) and wants to make a donation (haha). And all he wants in return is a match with Umaga vs. HBK (haha). Shelton is the next one in saying he doesn’t want to defend his IC title at Backlash, saying that he saw a light that led him straight to him. And we got another follower of McMahonism (haha, oh wait, wring character). Vince says he probably can do something since he likes people on his knees before him that gets an awkward look from Benjamin.
— Wow, are the HEAT alumni moving on up as Striker gets Raw TV time. He tries to bury Rock and Stone Cold during their feud when Austin ran over Rock’s limo with a monster truck. He gets some cheap heat off St. Louis. Some stuff happens as we all get an “F” for the day and Carlito comes out to save us all from failing school. Striker supposevly stold Carlito’s apple for his skit. Carlito says that teachers were stupid, always sending him to detention so he spat in their face. Striker looks like Carlito’s old teacher, so he wants to relive the day. Beat down ensues and Masters comes out to put on the lame master lock hold.
— (Note: Ok after the Carlito/ Masters/ Striker thing, I ran out of recording space on my DVD and I lost the last half hour of the show. Sorry about that!)
RAW Analysis
— Well, I guess this show was up to par as last weeks. The only major things holding it down was the continued push of the whole McMahon religion storyline, which if you couldn’t hear from the fans during these segments, was absolutely boring and beyond believable. Yes, this is “wrestling” and its suppose to stretch out imaginations ala Undertaker and Kane with all their “powers,” but this is kinda taking the believable aspect out of it. So now we are suppose to believe HBK has divine power that protects him!? Right. So anyway… I’m glad they got Edge his payback win and its good to show that he outsmarted HHH at the end there by playing possum. Other than that, again, sorry about not recapping the last half hour of the show, I’ll try and make sure that doesn’t happen again. So I’m not sure at all what happened there, who knows it may have brought up the value of the show. But I’m not holding my breath, if I’m wrong, someone out there email and let me know what happened. Till the next EVENT, I’m out, peace.
