We’re in Albuquerque , New Mexico
Your hosts are Tazz and Cole
JBL starts us off this week by coming out in his limo to hype who he might have picked for Rey to fight this week. He makes a “compliment” to Rey saying he has machismo meaning “more guts than brains”. He makes more Eddie references because apparently he has run out of fresh ideas for promos. He makes a reference to “playing with fire” which pretty much guarantees Kane later tonight as the next guy to squash and embarrass Mysterio in this feud
6 Person Tag Match
MNM Vs London, Spanky and Jillian Hall
The guys have to separate Melina and Jillian before the match and WWE immediately cuts to a commercial because having excitement on Smackdown is an oxymoron these days. Anyway we come back with Spanky having a headlock on Nitro. Spanky tenaciously holds on and fires off some arm drags. London comes in for a double kick and a two count. Mercury comes in and gets some shots on London in but London gets a cross body for two and goes to the arm lock. Spanky comes in for a double forearm and knocks Nitro off the apron but a distraction by Melina leads to Mercury kicking him in the leg. Mercury works the leg over and brings Spanky into the heel corner for some triple teaming. Nitro comes in and continues the work on the leg. MNM work Spanky over as Spanky does a great sell job of the bad wheel. Nitro gets a nasty looking kick to the knee that makes everyone on the front row wince. Spanky makes a break for the ropes on a Nitro mistake but gets pulled back by Mercury. Mercury tries to take Spanky’s knee pad off which is a superb piece of heel psychology. MNM are just an awesome tag team when they have a decent baby face team to work with. MNM keep continuing the dissection in impressive fashion. Spanky fights up and generally looks like he’s fighting for his life but he can’t make the tag. This heat segment is awe inspiring for WWE. London finally gets the hot tag to a noticeable pop. Wow London and Spanky are drawing heat how bout that? London gets a double dropsault for two. The two guys butt heads and that leads to Melina getting the tag for a showdown with Jillian. Jillian gets the Thez Press but is dragged off to big heel heat. Spanky and London clear the ring and that leaves Jillian to hit a top rope cross body on Melina for the win
WINNERS – SPANKY, LONDON AND JILLIAN HALL
***1/2 – Awesome match which sets the matches at Judgment Day up nicely
They show a video clip hyping up Mark Henry’s destruction of Kurt Angle. This leads to Kurt Angle cutting a promo. Angle says he won a Gold Medal at Atlanta 96 but Henry won nothing. Angle says he’s the worlds greatest wrestler and will beat Henry. I should f*cking hope so! Anything but a clean Angle win is completely counterproductive and absolutely insane in my opinion. But I guess my opinion doesn’t matter because if it did all women would be contractually mandated to give themselves to me sexually any time at my request and buses would be nationalised and paid for by the tax payer. Life is a bitch I guess
Lashley wins a squash match with spear and goes over to the crown and throne to play around. Booker comes out pissed off about it for his tag match.
Finlay and Booker T w/ Sharmel Vs Chris Fucking Benoit and Gunner Fucking Scott
Yes I added a “f*cking” to Gunners name in honour of Benoit mentoring him. Just announced for Judgment Day Finlay Vs Benoit. Should be a great match like the one a few weeks ago. Booker makes it clear he wants Gunner to start and slaps him to make the point. Lock up leads to a non clean break in the corner. Booker gets too cocky allowing Gunner to fight back with chops and a reverse elbow for two. Booker goes to the eyes and tags in Finlay who goes to a side headlock. Finlay gets a short arm clothesline and goes to the nerve pinch while trying to entice Benoit in. gunner out smarts Finlay and gets an inverted atomic drop but Finlay comes back with a chin lock. Gunner is able to force a break but Finlay comes right back with a clothesline to stop a comeback. Booker comes in and tees off on Gunner in the corner but walks into a Snap Suplex for two. Booker gets a kick to the face for two. Booker then goes to a chin lock of his own to wear Gunner down. Finlay comes back in and drops a couple of elbows but misses the pump splash and Benoit gets the hot tag and pounds the shit out of Finlay in the corner. Finlay tries to bail but Benoit throws him back in and goes for the Sharpshooter but Booker saves. Finlay gets a clothesline and tags out but Benoit fights off Booker and gets a German Suplex for two. Gunner comes back in and gets two in Booker from a suplex. Finlay comes in but runs into a boot but Booker knocks Gunner to the outside as we go to a commercial
Commercial
We’re back with Finlay dropping elbows on Gunner. Booker floors Gunner with a right hand and gets a series of shots in while Gunner is slumped on the ropes. Gunner counters a vertical suplex with a Russian Leg Sweep and Benoit comes in again. Benoit demolishes Booker and nails Finlay off the apron. Finlay drags Benoit outside and shoves him into the steps and hits with the stick thing in the ribs. Back inside Booker gets a side slam for two. Booker goes to an abdominal stretch but Benoit gets out and fires off a German Suplex before tagging in Gunner. Gunner gets a dropkick on Booker for two and comes off the second rope with a Missile Dropkick but Finlay saves. Benoit and Finlay tumble to the outside leaving Booker and Gunner inside. Booker gets a side kick but Lashley come out and sits on the throne. Gunner uses the distraction to get a crucifix roll up for the win
WINNERS – GUNNER SCOTT AND CHRIS BENOIT
*** – Another good match that was similar to the opener what with one guy getting a royal shit kicking before pulling out the win. Nice to see Gunner make it 2-1 in his series with Booker now as well.
More Tatanka videos. This time he wears face paint that represents animals or something.
Daivari is in the ring and introduces a video showing Undertaker destroying everyone but of course it ends with Great Khali giving him the “beating of his life”. Seriously, all the guy did was give him a kick to the head. That was about it. Barry Horrowitz would have kicked out of the “beat down” Khali gave Taker. Khali comes out after the video is played. Khali cuts a rambling promo and adds something that sounds like “Rest in Peace” but it could have been “Fetch my knees” for all I know.
Matt Hardy Vs Mark Henry
Mark Henry is still hired by this company? Matt has about as much chance of winning here as Snitsky does as playing Hamlet. Matt actually keeps it competitive to start and is able to get a two count from the AHHHHHHHH Leg Drop. Henry then begins the massacre by going to a bear hug. Matt tries a Twist of Fate but that doesn’t work and Henry gets the crappy fall forward slam for the win. Henry does a beat down post match and cuts a promo on Angle which the fans chant “WHAT” too in a flash back to the past. You don’t see the whole what thing anymore. Certainly not as much as you used to back in 2002.
Nunzio and Vito are backstage and Vito gets a call from his supposed girlfriend. Burchill comes over and says that last week he saw Vito in drag. Nunzio again denies that something like that could happen.
Rey Mysterio Vs ???
JBL of course comes down for commentary and declares that Rey’s opponent is…………….Kane. I knew it, I just knew it. Well to be fair I read spoilers about this about a week ago. Kane destroys Rey to start and Rey can’t even fight back. Kane hammers away in the corner and just annihilates Rey with ease and JBL laughs away on commentary. However, the video package comes on with “May 19th” continuously playing. Rey uses the chance for a 619 but Kane catches him with a Choke Slam. JBL comes in but makes the mistake of saying “May 19th” and gets Choke Slammed himself. So everyone loses but Raw, yup that seems about right in this company these days
Well besides from the crappy ending this was a really entertaining show this week. Two very good matches make it an automatic thumbs up in my eyes even if this Rey/JBL feud is terrible on all levels. Hopefully Rey will win and end it at Judgment Day.
