The RAW Events
— The most likely scenario here is for RAW to go the Extreme with WWE vs. ECW & ECW’s ONS on the horizon. Plus we got HHH maybe joining or re-joining a group?
Hosts: JR & The King
The MAIN Events
– Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito
Hey look, Carlito is out of the ditch from HEAT and back on RAW, good for him! But it still looks like one of his HEAT matches as he starts getting the beat down from Benjamin early on. Benjamin slaps Carlito around for a bit, and both men slug each other down with a clothesline. Carlito gets his second wind and starts to take it to Benjy. Spring board back elbow gets 2! Carlito gets the inverted knee drop back breaker for the win! I feel so proud for some reason.
Winner: Carlito (1)
– HHH vs. Big Show
HHH tries to slug it out with the big man at first, but Show fires back with his own chest slaps and bench presses Trips over his head. HHH uses the ropes and tossed Show out of the ring, giving SS enough time to run out and beat up Show to give him the DQ win. Lame, but smart… somehow, if that makes sense.
Winner: Big Show (4)
– Eugene vs. Matt Striker
Doesn’t this belong as a HEAT match? Anyway, Eugene supposedly has a tutor now and that tutor happens to be Hacksaw, which just dropped his IQ down a bit. Odd. Striker takes the early control, but Eugene fights back with a helicopter spin. While Hacksaw gets Striker’s attention to give Eugene the three point stance clothesline for the win. Striker attacks Eugene, but Hacksaw makes the save after the match. However, out of nowhere, Umaga and AAE attack Duggan.
– Kane vs. Lance Cade w/ Trevor Murdoch
Well even though it’s been apparent on HEAT for quite some time now, it seems as if TNT if officially back together again. Murdoch challenges Kane for Cade as Kane walks down to the ring and quickly takes it to Lance. Match goes clothesline, clothesline, clothesline, sidewalk slam, and high rope followed by the chokeslam. But before the pin, Kane gets the bizarre music once more, which gets Kane to hit the ramp for the count out.
Winner: Lance Cade (3)
– Nitro w/ Melina vs. Charlie Hass
And for our viewing pleasure, we get the best RAW intro today with the infamous Melina split, which by the way… we aren’t on network TV here anymore, why are we getting refused the under shot of Melina if where they’re on cable now? Nitro gets the early going here while Melina takes it to Hass on the outside. Nitro stomps back and the crowd starts to chant something, probably boring. And Hass finally fights back, getting the leg flip, that completely somersaults Nitro onto his face. Melina gets in the ring, faking an ankle injury to give Nitro the roll up pin. Turns out the chants that were being filled were from Lilian Garcia getting hurt from jumping off the ring apron to fast and getting hurt before the match started.
Winner: Nitro (2)
– Victoria vs. Beth Phoenix
Does anyone else dislike James’ new perm do? And that Beth name still doesn’t roll off the tongue just right. (Stupid comment of the night: (King) “There’s diva’s everywhere!” No shit, it’s a diva’s match bitch!!!! Fuck does this guy annoy me!) Something happens during this match as I write the last comment and Beth gets the reversal on the suplex. Follows its up with a few clotheslines and drop kick into the gut. Victoria passes on the roll up to show us Beth’s thong, probably as the girl initiation around here, and Beth pulls out the win. Wait, this was our MAIN EVENT!?!?!?
Winner: Beth Phoenix (6)
— Shane and HHH argue in the back about H being the newest member of the kiss my ass club.
— WWE Title Contract signing: Heyman introduced RVD, while Coach gets Cena. Pretty basic back and forth stuff from Heyman and RVD in how Cena will step into a world he’s never known. Cena calls himself an ECW fan and that he will now lay down the title over to RVD. With Heyman pimping the WWE vs. ECW show this Wednesday and calls out all the ECW alumni down from the crowd into the ring.
Cena does the stupid thing and tries to fight off ECW, but gets punked to the extreme, and AFTER Cena gets demolished (by a botched table move no less from Sabu) the WWE roster runs out. HAHA, funny stuff. But still gets me pumped for ECW.
— HHH talks to Vince, letting him know that he isn’t going to go out and embarrass himself tonight. Vince plays the leadership by example card, but HHH still refuses. Plan B goes in effect with HHH going one on one against the Big Show, with the stip of Trip winning the match, the kiss my ass club is canceled.
— Kurt comes out for the second straight week on RAW, even though he’s been drafted to ECW; he still wants to make sure he gets the cheap hometown pop. Cue Foley, saying that it’s his deal. Both men verbally go at each other, with Angle calling out Foley to accept his challenge at ONS. Lita comes out, telling Foley that they have a special visitor for Kurt. Cue Edge.
Edge starts to get the cheap hit for getting after Pittsburg’s sports teams. And lets Angle know he won’t fit into ECW and that his career is over. Angle vows to single handedly change the face of ECW before attacking Foley and Edge. Suddenly, RANDY ORTON comes out and RKO’s Angle. I guess we have the challenge set for ONS.
— During Commercial: Randy Orton accepts the challenge for revenge after “fracturing” his ankle.
— Kane is backstage looking for “Kane”, lights go on and off and “Kane” shows up behind him. “Kane” takes it to Kane as we fade out to the break.
— The HIGHLANDERS are coming to America. Hey, I went to that high school.
— King makes fun of Tazz’s announcing talents. And yeah, f*ck him…
— Lilian Garcia gets hurt during the Hass/Nitro match, that sucks!
— Kiss my ass club: Vince still hits down HBK. Vince talks to HHH and tells him he doesn’t look well, with his eyes glassing over. HHH stutters around for a bit, before dropping to his knees. Vince lets us know that Trips needs to kiss his ass. Vince drops the pants HHH plays possum as Shane passes out from the switch-a-roo and HHH takes it to Vince with a pedigree to end the show.
— Another week gone by and still no DX, yes, I guess you can say that I’m waiting for it. But however, I think it would have been a little to crowded as this week is reserved all for ECW and its big comeback. However, just got a bad taste in my mouth with the show not ending on an ECW angle and our main event was a diva match if anyone noticed that!!! So-so show, maybe they’re leaving it up for grabs at the WWE vs. ECW this Wednesday. Let’s hope so. So until the next EVENT, I’m out, peace!