TNA: In the Zone for 6/8/06
Greetings and welcome back to TNA: In the Zone. I have been missing you people so very much. It’s amazing how cut off from the world you feel when your computer dies. These last two weeks have been hell for me, I’ll tell you. It’s sad, really, how attached to technology we are. When my motherboard decided to go Chernobyl, I knew it was the end of the world.
But now I’m back, with a new computer, and a new edition of In the Zone.
I’m not going to get really in depth on the action anymore, because we have people that do the play by play. I am going to pick out the good bits, kinda the way I do the skin off a good piece of chicken. I’ll point out the tough, gristley stuff, but mostly we’ll share the crispy goodness.
The King of the Mountain match is coming up, huh? Reverse ladder match? Penalty box? Sorry, this just sounds contrived to me. The more complex the match, the less it actually resembles wrestling. Next we are going to see the King of the Elimination Chamber in a Cell match. Is it too much to ask for a good old fashioned wrestling match? Would Christian Cage versus ANYONE in a match not be good enough to headline Slammiversery? I think it would. It’s sad that I have more faith in the champion than TNA does. All I can say is remember the three story cage near the end of WCW.
Anyway, there was a show this week, right? Right. Sting and Steiner trade promos prior to their match. Eric Young should be shaking in his boots, because Steiner says he’s taking out “Showtime.”
Steiner comes out with Gail (no Jackie in sight). You can tell he’s a heel, as he rips up a sign. Ooooohhhh. Sting comes out, and Don West comments on his confidence. I think Sting looks bored. I think he’s running on autopilot here. Sting hits a bunch of high impact stuff, while Steiner relies on his suplexes and rest holds (including a really weak looking version of the “Crippler Crossface” that seems to take more out of Steiner than it does sting.)
This match included a little bit of everything I hate. Ref bumps, Jeff Jarrett, Steiner, an unmotivated Sting, “Miscommunication,” and a screwball DQ finish.
Sting wins over Big Poppa Chump via DQ.
It’s time for a new feature here In the Zone.
THINGS DON WEST IS NEVER ALLOWED TO SAY AGAIN:
This week Don said that “Sting was able to get Scott Steiner off.” He is never allowed to say that again!
The post match beatdown is interrupted by the other KotM challengers (The Truth and Abyss), as well as the champ himself. Why Christian Cage would want to save the people who want his title is beyond me.
Steiner then claims that he should be in the KotM match. Have you got steroids in your ears, dude? You lost the match. Bugger off… oh wait, I see. It’s a chance for him to get eye to eye with the Samoan Assassin. Excellent. Joe comes out for his match, and Steiner isn’t budging. Mild violence erupts (as much as anything mild is capable of erupting) and security pulls the two apart. Apparently this was a victory for Steiner, as they play his music.
Next we have more Paparazzi Productions Footage of Alex Shelley hanging out with Kevin Nash. This is pretty funny shit, but I really don’t believe that Nash is capable of wrestling on the X Division’s level. He can most definitely muscle through them, but that seems very un-entertaining. Anyway, they promise that next week is the X-Div debut of Kevin Nash. At least this shit is good comedy.
Another match follows this, as Sonjay Dutt competes against Jarelle Clark (who gets no introduction). Dutt is in great form here, but Tenay and West spend the whole match arguing with Konnan about the current LAX situation instead. Dutt won the match, if you care. I hate treating the talent this way.
Next we get video of Team 3D at the bingo hall. They quote Guns ‘n Roses, then burn the 3D logo on the floor. Nice promo, as Ray and Devon continue to contend that they were the heart of ECW, and that the new version has none.
Next up is six man tag action as Team Canada (A1, Eric Young, and Bobby Roode) take on Chris HAIL Sabin and the James gang. This is kind of an odd trio.
The action in this match was great, till Kevin Nash and Alex Shelley rise up on a scissor lift to “scout” Sabin. Sabin does hit one funny spot as he stomps Eric Young’s foot, then hops around, mocking the young Canadian. Funny stuff. The rest of the match is pretty much “Beat on Sabin” day. Rhino comes out to stop the “Hockey Stick” finish, and the James Gang and Sabin win. Thank Rhino for that. I don’t like run ins, but ANYTHING is better than that tired hockey stick finish.
Christie Hemme comes out as Kip, BG, and Sabin are celebrating. She hands Don West an envelope announcing Steiner versus Joe at Slammiversery. Yay. Maybe Joe WILL kill him.
All in all, not the best show this week. Some decent comedy, and Christie does the splits. Wow. Apparently I haven’t missed out on much, huh?
Anyway, I’m glad to be back with you. I gave it a lot of thought this week, and due to his ability to take a beating, but still keeping up his comedy, and his edge, Chris Sabin is In the Zone.
Disagree, or just want to call me an asshole, drop me a line