You Complete Bar Steward! 12.06.06

You Complete Bar Steward! 12.06.06

Hey there! Danny Wallace here with another edition of YCBS!

With the “Brandy Wars” over, it’s a return to the norm, so let’s see if I can remember how to do this.

Slammer of the Fortnight – A.T.B. (Ask The Barman)
Difficulty Rating: 5/5
Taste/s: Melon, Creamy, Orange

1/5 Melon liqueur
1/5 Grenadine
1/5 Blue Curacao
1/5 Amaretto
1/5 Bailey’s Irish cream

A Spoon
1 x 50ml Shot Glass


Fuck me, this is hard for non-barperson/no patience folk. Right… you have to use the spoon to layer each ingredient in top of each other. Do it in the order it’s set out in (start with Melon liqueur), and in theory they should all settle on top of each other and not sink.

As soon as the Bailey’s is on, slam it down your neck. The Bailey’s might curdle, but you’ll be fine. Just don’t chew it.

A Kabbalist walks into a bar…

… The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”

Cocktail of the Fortnight – After Dinner Mint

Difficulty Rating: 1/5
Taste/s: Smooth, Creamy
Colour/s: Brown

1/2 oz White Crème de Menthe
3/4 oz Southern Comfort
1/2 oz Vodka
Fill with Hot chocolate

Cocktail Shaker

1. Put all the ingredients into the Cocktail Shaker
2. Shake well
3. Pour into a beaker or a large cup. Don’t pour into a glass, because it might shatter (hot drinks and glass don’t mix, kids).


None. This is a great little drink I found in a book at work, and haven’t found anything else like it. It’s gorgeous on a cold winter’s day. It’s a pity it’s Summer.

A man is in a bar having a drink…

… The guy next to him falls off of his barstool. The man picks up the guy and sits him back on the barstool, and he falls off again. This time he picks the guy up and asks, ”Where do you live?”

Being a kind soul, the man takes the guy to his car, puts him in the back seat, and drives him home. When they get to the guy’s house, the man helps the guy out of the car, but he falls down 3 times before getting to the front door. The man rings the doorbell and the guy’s wife comes to the door. The man says, ”Hello, I’ve brought your husband home.”

The wife looks at the man and asks, ”Where’s his wheel chair?”

Last Orders…

Whey… I’m back on form (my head just got larger).

If you like my work, and/or are bored tomorrow morning, go check out my Wrestling column “Looking Ahead”, where I check out the latest PPV line-ups/storylines for RAW, SMACKDOWN and EC-DUB!

If you have any questions, queries, comments or general feedback, just drop me an email. Also, if you’ve tried a cocktail or drink that you liked (say, for example, when you were out on the razz one night) but can’t remember exactly what’s in it, give me a shout and I’ll try to find out what it’s called and what the correct ingredients are.

And that’s the end of that for a fortnight. Until next time…


Danny Wallace.

Disclaimer: Any drinks you see on here are solely intended for your drinking pleasure. Danny Wallace, InsidePulse and any associated companies are in no way responsible for your actions once these drinks are consumed. If you “accidentally” try to get off with your hot female friend one night on the piss, then she backs away looking terrified… don’t blame us.