– Yeah, nothing last week. UFC finale meant I was too lazy to watch it at midnight, coming back from the Reds-Royals game to boot. And then I find out my buddy has 4 season tickets for Thursday’s game he’s not using, which are good $30 seats, so it was back to Great American Ballpark last night. Nothing like soaking in a few ballgames and then rushing back to get a column done. I love the joys of Summer. Anyway, sounds like I missed Senshi picking up the X title and Cornette’s Impact debut. Guess we’ll just have to work around it.
The NeelDown iMPACT Zone
– From Orlando, Florida
– Hosts are Mike Tenay & Don West
– Christian Cage comes out to start and calls out Sting. He says that later on when Jim Cornette gives him his title back Sting should have the balls to ask him for a title shot. Sting says to step back or he’ll bite Christian’s finger off. There’s that credible Sting we all know and love. They do some Jeff Jarrett mocking to try to add on to the failed Christian-Rock project. Anyway, Sting & Christian v. Jarrett & Steiner is booked for next week. Ooh, I can’t wait.
Team Canada v. Chris Sabin & Jay Lethal
This would later reveal to be the last Team Canada match, if the plan holds up. Eric Young coming out in the Canadian cape and being scared by the pyro is pretty funny. TC here is Petey and Eric, which is fitting for their last match, expect I would like to type a WHOSE THE GREATEST one last time, for nostalgic reasons. Here’s to hoping Roode still yells that in his upcoming solo career. The faces double team to start and Sabin elbows Young for two. Young offers a handshake and Petey hairmares him down. Petey gives Sabin the Oh Canada stomp and locks in a chinlock. Various times during this match the other Team Canada members try to cheat, but D’Amore hold them back in fear of them getting fired. Sheesh, where was Cornette during the unlimited other TNA run-in matches? Low dropkick by Williams gets two. Tiltawhirl Russian leg sweep gets two. Hot tag to Lethal who cleans house with dropkicks and bridge suplexes and stuff. Sabin takes out Roode and A1 with a somersault plancha for good measure. Lethal goes up top but gets tripped up by D’Amore, and Petey finishes him with the Canadian Destroyer. Pretty standard stuff between these guys here. **1/2
Winners: Team Canada
– Highlights of Shane Douglas (w/ WORKOUT HEADBAND) and his training sessions with The Naturals.
Monty Brown v. Norman Smiley
Poor Smiley, first having to pull D-Ray 3000 duty by teaming with Shark Boy on Xplosion, then being fed to Steiner, now this. Quick squash for Brown resulting in a Pounce. DUD
Winner: Monty Brown
– I think M. Night Shamalyn or however you spell it has officialy lost it. His new movie is about a dog made out of grass trying to find a girl who lives in a mini-pool?
America’s Most Worthless v. Team 3-Dead – No DQ
AMW hide on the stage to start and attack during the Dudz entrance. Hey, not bad strategy. They haul them into the ring and suplex D’Von for two. The Dudz get a trash can and Bubba nails Storm with the ALMIGHTY PACKING PEANUTS followed by some choking with a crutch. Bubba gives Storm a side effect (random) for two. Brother Runt hits Gail with a nine iron. Wazzzzzup headbut on Harris. Dudz get a table but get it booted in their face. So AMW set it up instead. AMW get in a dispute over whether to hit D’Von with a can or a bottle, and D’Von anticlimactically escapes during the arguing, and they finish with a 3-D on Harris for the pin. The James Bore sick Abyss on the Dudz. Brother Run tries to avenge his fallen brothers by trying an acid drop on the monster, but he gets tossed through a table for his troubles. **
Winner: Team 3-Dead
– TNA company meeting time, complete with the full roster on the ramp and Cornette in the ring with a red carpet and a podium. Point of addresses…
– LAX: Wrestle, if not Jiffy Lube is hiring.
– Team Canada: Under individual contracts, so they are now split up.
– AMW/AJ n’ Chris: Some AMW & Gail Kim v. AMW and the amazon chick match is made or something.
– Earl Hebner: Cornette has known him for over 20 years, but he is now fired. Yes, ERIC YOUNG IS SAFE!
– Larry Z v. Raven in a hair match is booked for Victory Road.
– Jeff Jarrett is awarded his 6th NWA World Heavyweight Championship, and will defend it against the winner of a four way match at Victory Road between Christian, Sting, Steiner and Joe. So Jarrett gets on the microphone and gets pelted with about 20 water bottles from the crowd.
End of show.