What? Read that headline again. It’s not a foreign language and I have no idea where the logic came from on this one. Story from Blabbermouth:
Yesterday (Tuesday, September 19) 2,000 bags of KISS Army Blend Coffee were sent to the Rhode Island National Guard serving in Iraq, compliments of the KISS Coffeehouse and Mills Coffee Company!
Congressman Jim Langevin (D-RI), a member of the House Armed Services Committee, visited Mills Coffee Company in Providence, RI, to thank the KISS Coffeehouse team for donating the KISS Coffee to the RI National Guard members serving in Iraq. “I am pleased to support any effort made by our business community to bring a little bit of home to our troops who are serving so bravely in the war against terror,” said Congressman Langevin.
Mills, the official roaster of KISS Coffeehouse products, generously matched the 1,000 bag donation by KISS Coffeehouse. “Along with creating the most exciting coffeehouse in the marketplace, we all wanted to recognize the men and woman serving overseas. Hopefully, our rocking coffee will give them a lift,” added KISS Coffeehouse owner Brian Galvin.
…because I know that if I was in Iraq, the top of my necessities list would be coffee.
Not just any coffee. KISS coffee.
First, I think I missed the boat in the first place that “KISS Coffeehouse” products exist. But it’s KISS and they make their own brands of coffins and toilet paper so I shouldn’t be surprised. Secondly, what prompted them to ship out coffee instead of the aforementioned toilet paper? I bet the troops could use that more than coffee. Whip up some KISS chapstick; I hear that’s a helpful commodity in the desert. Send them a KISS Koffin for their buddi– oh my, that’s a horribly tasteless joke, I’m sorry.
We all know the reason why KISS did this. See above, that people like myself don’t know that KISS coffee exists? Well, now I know. And now that I know, I may want to purchase some of their fine brew and ensure that Gene Simmons can afford to maintain his diamond-studded mansion. That’s a lot of jewels to polish, and I wouldn’t want him to suffer with anything less than the shiniest.
In the end, I suppose it’s nice of KISS to donate something to the troops in Iraq. It’s nice for anyone to donate anything to the troops in Iraq. But considering the product and considering the source, it’s so laden with opportunism that I would rather sit in Iraq drinking tea made from sand than brewing even one cup of free KISS coffee.
