Fans’ Revenge Match
Jeff Jarrett vs. Samoa Joe
Eric Szulczewski: Well, it isn’t for the title, so I think the result’s obvious here. Joe’s Gonna Kill Him. And if he doesn’t, the audience will. Whose bright idea was it to let the audience have straps? It wasn’t Russo’s. He wasn’t there when this one was made.
Winner – Samoa Joe
Danny Wallace: This sounds like it will be one of the worst gimmick matches in history. Not looking forward to it at all, no matter if Joe gets the win or not.
Winner – Samoa Joe
Vinny Truncellito: I think they’ll want to keep Jarrett strong for his title showdown with Sting next month, without ending Joe’s streak. I smell an oddball ending of some sort in this one.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Jeff Jarrett, via DQ or something
Iain Burnside: Booking to Make Your Head Explode 101. It’s a shame, since this gimmick would have been a really interesting way to have Joe become champion whilst backed by the will of the people. Instead it’s a backdrop to a Jarrett/Sting feud that, according to every single piece of ratings evidence, does not interest the audience at all. Oh, and let’s not forget the incomprehensible Jarrett/Hebner/Cornette/Zbysko storyline that has been snowballing in stupidity ever since the ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‹Å“Controversy in Canada’ and has now unfortunately trapped Joe in its path. Still, Superman will survive Bryan Singer and Joe will survive this. I doubt that even good ol’ Jeff would be dumb enough to waste Joe’s undefeated streak here, but, as champion-booker-owner, he’s certainly going to want to keep himself looking strong for the Sting match. Cue run-ins, guitars and dubious fans for a schmozz of epically clusterf*ck proportions.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” nobody, this time
Joel Geraghty: Grammar Nazi: it should be “Fans’ Revenge”, not “Fan’s”. If Jarrett ends Joe’s winning streak, TNA is dead. But with the Impact angle and some common sense, you have to think that Joe and the fans will whip the hell out of Double J before Joe chokes him out clean. God, I hope so. Should be great if it’s done right and Jarrett sells like a champ. The “Fans’ Revenge” involvement should be interesting to see. I just hope it doesn’t end up with Russo as one of the fans clocking Jeff with a baseball bat so Joe can win
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Samoa Joe
Matthew Michaels: I still hold that this should have been Sting vs. Jarrett for fan’s revenge, and then Joe/Jarrett for the belt at Bound For Glory next month, but that’s moot.Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Joe’s gonna eat Jarrett here.Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Hopefully in a convincing squash.
Winner – Samoa JoeÃƒâ€šÃ‚Â
NWA Tag Team Titles/Ultimate X
LAX (c) vs. AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels
Danny Wallace: This should make up for the crappiness that the main event could possibly become. LAX haven’t really had a chance to do anything with the Tag Straps, so I see them keeping them for the time being.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” LAX
Vinny Truncellito: I’ll be surprised if they allow LAX to come out on top in a match that favors AJ and Daniels, but if they did, that would be quite the victory for the Revolutionaries.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels
Iain Burnside: Meltzer wrote that LAX were getting too popular for their own good (more accurately, Jarrett’s driven the uppity n*ggers Killings and Brown out, now he’s moving onto the spics) and might be broken up soon. I doubt that will actually happen but even if it’s true, it doesn’t mean they have to drop the titles here. And they won’t. There might be a double-strap-grab to set up a Six Sides of Steel rematch for next month though…
Winners ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” an official draw of sorts
Joel Geraghty: I really think this is going to be a blowaway match with a great combination of violence and athleticism never before seen in the Ultimate X. I’m not sure if it will be the main event, but it’s got top billing on the website. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Phenomenal Angels regain the belts, but LAX are hot and will retain with help from Konnan to set upÃƒâ€šÃ‚Â a cage match at Bound For Glory to blow off the feud.
Winners ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” LAX
Matthew Michaels: I think LAX is gonna keep getting pushed here, and rightfully so.Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â By beating Styles and Daniels at their own game, they’ll show the TNA fans a lot — although with this match closing the show, will TNA feel that the babyfaces need to win to “send the fans home happy?”Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Actually, it’s recently come out that the “special announcement” will close the show, so…Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Winners – Homicide & HernandezÃƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Eric Szulczewski: Let’s see, you’ve got a pair of ground-game guys like Homicide and Hernandez against two guys who definitely know how to get around Ultimate X. But for some reason, I just don’t see those guys coming out on top. But, that being said, if they want to get the titles off of Sheremetyevo, this is the best way to do it, being out-classed in a specialty match that appeals to their opponents. But that being said, the Battle Royal is essentially for the Number One Contendership, and with Bound For Glory coming up, they’ve got to get the biggest tag match possible, so figuring out the winner of this one is dependent on figuring out the winner of that one, and…oh, hell, I’m lost. Let’s have a belt swap, but not until Bound For Glory.
Winners ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Sheremetyevo
Senshi (c) vs. Chris Sabin
Vinny Truncellito: Sabin’s new “Jackass push” and laid back team with Sonjay Dutt and Jay Lethal should allow him to get the belt off the emotionless, bland warrior with the “what the f*ck stinks?” face. I’m so sick of his stupid chest-stomp, too.
Cradle Shock > Warrior’s Way.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Chris Sabin
Iain Burnside: Again ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” who cares? I’ve never cared for either of these guys and am not about to start. Sabin is not suddenly interesting because he has a new (bad) haircut and watches Jackass, and the other guy couldn’t be watchable for all the kicks in the kingdom. I’ll say there will be a title change here only because they need a face for Shelley to take the belt from. Sadly, the fortunate man in the right time at the right place is Sabin ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” but I suppose for some it could be seen as an apology of sorts for the Nash debacle, which was amusing but foolish. TNA really does seem to have lost focus on all of its titles, yet this one is the easiest to figure out. A Shelley run now would be akin to Shawn Michaels with the IC title way back when. It would give people an identifiable X Champion with a clear character and actual personality, who could then proceed to have memorable matches with the next wave of X Division stars (Lethal, Starr, Dutt) and make them seem more unique in the process. It’s so easy. Fingers crossed that Sabin will be little more than a place holder. As for Kicky ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” either put him into LAX or ditch the moody little f*ck (maybe with a TV match against Joe, which could play well to the UFC audience).
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” the limited new champion; CHRIS SABIN
Joel Geraghty: This should be pretty good if Senshi’s neck problems don’t hamper him. I don’t see him losing yet, so Senshi retains and hopefully Russo can do something to make him entertaining. One step toward that would be Sonjay Dutt trying to interfere with another Jackass stunt and Senshi just kicking the shit out of him. After the skit on Impact, Sabin could have a future as an annoying goofball heel, like Stevie Richards or even the Miz.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Senshi
Matthew Michaels: Senshi’s barely been champion it seems, and my guess is they’re going to keep the belt on him until Austin Aries/Starr comes in next month (unless Russo has something different in mind).Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Sorry, Jackasses…Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Winner – Senshi
Eric Szulczewski: Without the rub from Kevin Nash, Sabin is a little bit lost. However, Sabin’s Jackass Buddies aren’t involved in anything, so they can mischeviously interfere (in a positive fashion in this case). And there’s the most salient point of all: it’s not Low Ki, so we don’t care.
Winner and New Champion – Chris Sabin
Danny Wallace: Senshi has done sweet FA with the X Title, so I can see it switching to Chris Sabin, to try and get the X title noticed again.
Winner – Chris Sabin
Rhino vs. Christian Cage
Iain Burnside: I’m still trying to figure out why Christian turned heel on Sting and then turned heel on Rhino the week after for good measure. The sudden backstory about Rhino’s divorce and long-term friendship with Christian doesn’t sit well with the rushed feud either. Ah well, at least the match should be decent. Now all they have to do is try and structure feuds like this so that they can actually develop, blow-off, give us a clear winner and a lesser benefactor, and then move them both on to pastures new from there. Beyond them? Almost certainly.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” the big ugly duckling of the small pond; CHRISTIAN CAGE
Joel Geraghty: This should be a hot one and could be a sleeper MOTN candidate. Awesome story behind it and two great workers who should mesh well. I definitely don’t see Christian losing here because it would kill his momentum as the hottest heel in TNA. I could see him stealing a win to set up a rematch in Rhino’s hometown of Detroit at Bound For Glory, but that would mean Rhino going over clean on the biggest show of the year. With D’Amore out as booker, what could that mean for Rhino’s push? Another possibility is a no-contest, although they just did that with Rhino and Monty at Victory Road. I’ll go with Christian cheating to win to set up a rematch at Bound For Glory.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Christian
Matthew Michaels: As much as I feel Cage deserves this win, they’re REALLY pushing Rhino lately…Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Although, my instincts tell me Christian gets the win here, with Rhino getting revenge as this feud goes another month at least.Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Winner – Christian
Eric Szulczewski: God, does Rhiyno have to get some back or what? He’s just been Christian’s bitch lately. This match will almost certainly come off as second-to-last, so they can afford to have Christian win it, and considering how many faces I have winning, I think I’d better throw one Christian’s way.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Christian
Danny Wallace: Cage needs the momentum if he’s got any chance of going over Sting at BFG.
Winner – Christian Cage
Vinny Truncellito: Rhino’s the brawling fool whose pal turned on him, while Captain Charisma is the scheming conniver who uses his brains to get what he wants. They need to put Christian over here, as he winds his way back to the title once again. Cage is a likely first contender for Joe once he wins the 10 pounds of gold, methinks.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Christian Cage
Triple Chance Tag Team Battle Royal
America’s Most Wanted/James Gang/Naturals/Paparazzi/Diamonds in the Rough/Bentley & Kazarian/Ron Killings & Lance Hoyt/Shark Boy & Norman Smiley
Joel Geraghty: I have no idea what the “Triple Chance” deal means, but this will probably be the definition of a clusterf*ck. The big stories here are the AMW breakup saga, and the “will they or won’t they?” with the Naturals and Shane Douglas. I’d like to see the Franchise turn on the Naturals and align himself with Bentley & Kazarian for the surprise win, although it wouldn’t be logical since Benzarian have yet to win since returning to TNA. Still, I think they’d be a better fit with him and there is some history between Shane and Matt they could draw from. However, there’s no indication that will happen, so let’s go with the Naturals winning and earning their title shot on a primetime TV special.
Winners – The Naturals
Matthew Michaels: I think this will be more about setting up future tag rivalries (and moving forward the AMW teased break-up and Naturals/Douglas storylines) than it mattering who actually wins.Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Of those here, the only ones that would make sense vs. LAX are the Outlaws, Naturals or Truth and Hoyt (as much as I’d love Daniels/Styles vs. Paparazzi)…Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that The Naturals go over and get that angle kicked up a notch.Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Winners – Douglas and StevensÃƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Eric Szulczewski: Since I’ve got Sheremetyevo winning the straps, that means they have to have a face challenger at Bound For Glory to drop the straps to. I think it’s going to be another A. J. ‘n Chris Match, but by using up Ultimate X, they’ve run out of stips unless they make that match Six Sides Of Steel. Whoever wins this match will get a title shot, but it’ll be on Impact. Therefore, continue the angle with the Nats.
Winners – Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas
Danny Wallace: Should be a nice little clusterf*ck of a match. They could use it to kick off the AWM split, give a nice push to Paparazzi Productions and do something with the Naturals.
Winner – The Naturals
Vinny Truncellito: Should come down to the two teams who ARE the tag division in TNA: AMW and the Naturals. I’m looking for the straw that breaks AMW’s back in this one, causing the final rift that leads to their break-up and feud. The Newly Franchised Naturals succeed and stay with Shane Douglas for now.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” The Naturals
Iain Burnside: Oh, f*ck knows. BentZarian, KillHoyt and the Diamonds can be safely eliminated. SmileyShark probably will be too, though they could certainly have a fun TV match between them and the champs, plus a loss to the Kings of Jobbers would further the AMW split nicely. The Naturals have storyline logic on their side but, still, nobody cares. If they couldn’t get over after the Candido thing then they never will. With wrestling’s own Too Much Coffee Man and The Fat Man, a.k.a. Team 3D, due back soon I wouldn’t be too surprised if they went with a Shane Douglas-manufactured, last-gasp feud between those two teams. The Paparazzi are worthy of the win but they should keep Shelley free for the X Title (see below). A James Gang title match these days is as fresh, welcome and purposeful as Star Trek. That brings us to AMW – do they split here to build to a Bound For Glory match? Do they do the split at BFG to have time to more effectively carve out singles roles for them? This is all very vague, but that’s TNA these days. Screw it; I’m sticking with the wiggle.
Winners ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” I can’t believe I’m writing their names here; SHARK BOY & NORMAN SMILEY
Abyss versus Raven versus Brother Runt
Matthew Michaels: This is no-DQ, and rightfully so.Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â I wonder if there’s ANY way Runt can win this one?Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â My money’s on a Raven vs. Runt feud after this one so…Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Winner – Abyss, with Raven and Runt coming to blow afterwards, as Jim Mitchell and his monster laugh to the backÃƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Eric Szulczewski: This little feud is getting to be very interesting. Of course, adding Raven to anything automatically makes it more interesting, because you have no clue where it might go. By all rights, Spike shouldn’t survive this match. Abyss hates him, and now Raven hates him. He should get killed. Naturally, this means he’s going to pull this out, most likely by being an opportunist after Raven and Abyss beat each other senseless continuing their long-running dislike for each other.
Winner – The Littlest Dudley
Vinny Truncellito: It’s difficult to see where they’re going with this one. Abyss and Raven have done it ALL to each other before, and Runt didn’t exactly get elevated earlier in the feud with Abyss. Perhaps they’ll give him the surprise win here to keep things interesting. Dark horse pick:
Winner – Brother Runt
Iain Burnside: Crikey. If WWE get concerned about Jeff Hardy’s wellness then they just need to send him a photo of Raven with a post-it that reads “you in 15 years, ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‹Å“Nero'”. Honestly, it’s as though he’s on a mission to make Johnny Polo seem like a sensible follower of fashion in retrospect. Still, they might as well give him the win to build up to whatever tough-love fest they have in mind for next month.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” he’s comin’ ta get ya; RAVEN
Joel Geraghty: The video at the end of Impact had this as No DQ, but the website doesn’t say so. The only thing missing from Impact was an explanation from Runt for why he turned on Raven, so hopefully we get that in a prematch promo, although with Russo aboard now, who knows? Anyway, this should be an entertaining hardcore brawl all over the building with Runt likely taking the majority of the bumps, although I’m sure Abyss will more than carry his end. I’d like to see Abyss win, but Runt deserves a PPV win for turning down the WWE contract, so I’ll go with the upset.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Runt
Petey Williams versus Jay Lethal
Eric Szulczewski: Logic dictates that Petey gets his job back, with or without the use of bowling balls. However, they’re doing the full-court press for this Jackass promotion, and that dictates more fun and games for the boys. Expect Sonjay to do something silly and begin the Williams/Jackasses feud that might not be too entertaining SE-wise, but will produce a great set of matches, especially the inevitable six-man at Bound For Glory between the Jackasses and Williams/Shelley/Devine.
Winner – Jay Lethal
Vinny Truncellito: If Sabin’s going over, then his buddy Lethal can take the loss here. Plus, he owes Williams a job for last Thursday night.
Canadian Destroyer > Whatever Lethal Finishes With
Winner – Petey Williams
Iain Burnside: The undercard X Division match is of far greater interest than the X Title match. It has the potential for far more exciting flips, leaps and twirls, you see? We like those. We want to spend more time with them. We can’t rearrange our skin for Mister Excitement and Kicky anymore ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” and if we did it before we were probably drunk and we’ve certainly forgotten. Who are we? We’re the ones flipping (wuhoot!) a coin to choose the winner here.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” the lucky benefactor of the two-penny piece; PETEY WILLIAMS
Joel Geraghty: A rematch from Impact, where Lethal pinned Petey after some Jackass shenanigans, so wrestling logic dictates that Petey gets his win back. I hope not though, I’d rather see Lethal pull off another win but this time without any extracurriculars. Both of these guys could use personality makeovers, but it should be a good match.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Jay Lethal
Matthew Michaels: Jay Lethal vs. Senshi at BFG?Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Not a bad idea at all…Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â (and we’ve seen Sabin/Petey so many times before, so this reinforces my thoughts on the X Title match).Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Winner – Lethal
Eric Young versus A1
Vinny Truncellito: Let’s think for a moment, shall we? Young is in the middle of a significant storyline angle. Fans are wearing shirts, bringing signs, and chanting “Don’t Fire Eric”. There’s also some speculation that he might soon feud with TNA’s resident Master and Commander, Jeff Jarrett. In the meantime, A1 hasn’t been heard from in weeks.
Winner – Eric Young
Iain Burnside: Well, he doesn’t look like Butters anymore. That’s probably conducive to a fairly successful push in the short-term at the very least. I can’t even remember what the other guy looks like. Good for me!
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” brunette because he’s worth it; ERIC YOUNG
Joel Geraghty: Another unannounced match, but it has some story to it since they were former teammates with Team Canada and the last time they faced off in a six-man tag on Impact, Eric seemed reluctant to face his former partner and even helped him up after pinning him. I also wouldn’t be surprised if this match is scratched off the lineup on Sunday, since I don’t see a great future for A1 with D’Amore out of power. Eric wins, anyway.
Winner ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” Eric Young
Matthew Michaels: Uh…Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Winner – Showtime!Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Eric Szulczewski: EY’s getting a major push. EY’s over. Savory Steak Sauce Boy has a job only because D’Amoron was booking. Now D’Amoron’s out. This should be his final appearance on TNA television. Of course, we’ve said that before, and he’s still here stinking up our screens. Hey, I don’t care. I love slam-dunks like this one that up my winning percentage.
Winner – Eric Young
Dixie Carter has promised a momentous announcement at No Surrender. What will it be?
Danny Wallace: Two Hour Timeslot for Impact, hopefully. It could be Kurt Angle coming into the promotion (using the MMA announcement as a swerve), but I doubt it. It best not be Vince Russo. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back.
Vinny Truncellito: As much as the recent re-acquisition of Vince Russo is the big news (and it makes me ill to think about it), I believe the timing is coincidental. The announcement is that Spike TV has increased iMPACT! to two hours. After all, bringing in the man who made David Arquette world heavyweight champion is NOTHING to brag about.
Iain Burnside: Well, it’s not Vince Russo. Thankfully they are slightly mature enough now to avoid making on-air announcements about who is writing the show. By the way, I doubt Russo’s return will be as bad as most people fear it will be ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬” he’s cleaned up, he likes the younger stars, and he’s not in complete control. Let’s just hope he stays off-screen. So, what else could it be? Goldberg? Fat chance. Jericho? Certainly not. Angle? Ditto. Some sort of UFC tie-in? Perhaps, though it’s hardly momentous. A new timeslot and/or TV show? It’s the most likely option, though the current ratings don’t support it and certainly wouldn’t have convinced Spike to do something they didn’t want to last time they were asked about it. Ah, well, I’m not bothered. I had a dream last night in which I was Kurt Russell, Gloomchen was Kim Catrall and Lo Pan was trying to kill us in a hotel in the north of Scotland. Then there were folding robots and we were saved. With that sort of subconscious lying in wait, Dixie Carter just can’t compete.
Joel Geraghty: After reading all the VIP and Elite sites on the internet, my prediction is that Dixie Carter herself will announce that SpikeTV has granted TNA a series of two-hour LIVE Monday-night primetime specials, like the old Clash Of The Champions, from 8-10pm and that if they perform well enough they’ll be given the opportunity to make it a permanent weekly timeslot, so she asks TNA fans to spread the word more than ever. Part of the deal will be massive promotion from Spike and Viacom for the specials, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they throw in a big high-profile signing like Goldberg, Angle, or even Jericho. The sites keep throwing Brock’s name as a nixed possibility due to his MMA plans, but doesn’t he still have a no-compete clause? If not, maybe all this MMA talk is a smokescreen and Dixie will announce that the first primetime special would feature Angle vs. Lesnar. Now that would be huge.
Matthew Michaels: My money’s on a Monday 8pm timeslot to go along with the Thursday 11pm one (as opposed to a once-a-week two hour show).Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Russo as head of creative isn’t big enough, plus it’s already been announced on TNA’s Web site.Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â With Russo back I can’t imagine Goldberg being signed; Angle’s likely under no-compete for a few months; and The Rock and Jericho are content not wrestling, so there’s the top four free agents out there.Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â So unless they’ve again brought Tito Ortiz in as a guest ref, and actually think that’s huge news, I’m at a loss if it’s not a new timeslot…Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â
Eric Szulczewski: At first, I was racking my brain trying to think of something other than “two-hour Impact” that seemed rational. The best things I could come up with were more PPVs out of the Impact Zone or that Panda’s sold their share in TNA to Ted Turner (a scenario I posited about six months ago). And then the Russo story hit. Da Meltz says that the announcement will definitely be about Russo. Milord says it isn’t. Milord is, as usual, full of sh*t. Larry Z has been found guilty of collusion with Jarrett, but Cornette is equally biased against Jarrett. Therefore, a disinterested third party is needed to balance the two out, making the antagonistic duo a troika. Guess who, it’s Vinny Ru.