Hiya folks. No plugs or extra stuff today; I’ve got to fly through this so I can get some filming done. Besides, I have NEVER known brevity to be a BAD thing. So away we go!
We are TAPED from Tulsa, Oklahoma.; it’s Friday Night Smackdown! I’d like to welcome our readers from Tulsa, and offer my condolences for having to live there. Just a minor sidenote: I’ve been fairly impressed that this Memorex 10 hour tape is holding up so well (fourth copy-over). I usually avoid their products altogether (it seems the digital media they make has some kind of allergy to my machine), but these tapes have been pretty damn good. Side note #2 — Pontiac has a new car called “the Torrent.” In light of all the problems that torrents and p2p sharing have caused, I’m a bit surprised nobody upstairs said “Hey, this might not be a good idea.” Meh, shows how much I know.
Oh yeah, you want to know about the show. Well, we get no intro, but we DO get WWE Champ John Cena, who cuts a promo, including major pimpage for “The Marine” and a small shot at JBL. He brought some balls as a gift to Micheal Cole. Ok, that was kind of funny. He starts bitching about the beat down on RAW, and has a message for Booker’s court — we will rock you.
No, it was we will eat Wheaties and DANCE.
No, it was we will kick your ASS. Hmm, I think I liked the second one better.
Commercials. Ooo a promo for the Pillman DVD. I have got to pick this up; my markdom for Pillman goes back to the summer of ’89 in the old NWA. The match list looks plenty sweet as well.
Tonight, Mr. Kennedy has a tribute for his forheadness. But first…
Jerk that curtain, BABY! Rey Mysterio vs Sylvester Terkay.
You gotta wonder who Rey has been pissing off lately. Or maybe it’s jut payback for being World Champ. I mean, the guy has been in one lousy feud after another, and now he gets to put over the newest addition to the “MMA? What’s that?” lineup. Of course, before we get to the match, we get our weekly update on the Rey/Chavo angle. Yippe. Terkay decides that Rey isn’t worth his time, so he gives the match up to his trainer. Oh goodie, bait and switch, my FAVORITE.
Jerk that curtain, BABY! Rey Mysterio vs Elijah Burke.
In between parts of the match we are treated to clips of Chavo and Vicki backstage watching and commenting on Rey’s match. Rey controls early, but Burke takes over with a powebomb into the corner. Burke goes for the Macho Man flying elbow (Ooooooooooo YEAH!) but takes too long as Rey moves out of the way. Rey gets a couple of two counts, so Terkay trips him up on the run. Rey wiggles out of a powerbomb and nails Terkay with a pair of feet. I mean, if he hits him with three feet, there’s either something going on in Tulsa, or this cold medicine is REALLY good. Rey hits the 619 and drops the dime for the win. (1/2 *, 619/slingshot legdrop) At least it was short, no? Backstage, Chavo and Vicki are less than pleased, until Terkay drops him with the double-cradle suplex.
Commercials.
Ashley presents a video package for “her boys”, Kendrick and London. Memo to WWE: Please guys, just put Eric on the payroll. If you’re gonna use all his ideas, at least pay the poor guy so he doesn’t have to keep moving every three months. Hey, he’s been knighted: instant credibility!
#1 Contenders Match: KC James and Idol Stevens vs The Pitbulls.
I’ll talk about the Kash news after the match. Anyway, this is heel vs heel, so the crowd pretty much sits on their hands. Idol and Noble start it out, with Idol trash talking Nobel as they go. So Noble hits him with a dropkick and tags in Kash. Kash works over Idol a bit until he brings in James, who also gets the business via Kash’s educated feet. Noble back in and he works over James some more. James goes for an atomic drop but Noble makes a tag before he can finish it. Kash is all “WTF is he doing?” as Idol comes in for some double teamery. Noble low-bridges Idol and Kash works over James. Noble hits a suicide dive on Idol to the outside, while Kash gets a moonsault for two. James blocks a suplex and hits a DDT for two that was broken up by Noble. Now Idol is back in, and he goes to work on Noble. Kash goes for an inside cradle, but the ref is trying to get Noble and Idol out, so McCool comes in a rolls the cradle over, giving James the win. (* – inside cradle) So long Kid, see you on the indy circuit. For those that missed the news, Kash was indeed released this week, reportedly due to attitude problems backstage. I never really got much into Kash, going back to ECW in 2000. Anyway, I hope Noble does well out of this; someone here suggested they team up Noble with Jimmy Wang Yang. Well, I’ll reserve comment until I see him in the ring. Ah, well. As the E turns…
Hey, speaking of WCW, whatever happened to Tokyo Magnum anyway?
Still to come — six man tag team action!
Commercials. I saw the full trailer for “The Departed”; despite Leo DiCap being in it, the movie looks pretty good, and I’ve always liked Matt Damon, so this may be one to check out.
Throw it on the wall and see if it sticks: Matt Hardy vs Chavo Guerrero.
Hmmm, this could be good. JBL notes with respect to Eddie, that Vicki is looking pretty hot. With respect to Eddie, I think Vicki is looking pretty chunky. Ok, mourning can cause weight gain, I can appreciate that. But don’t be trying to come on TV wearing such form fitting clothing either. This goes for all you fat asses out there: if you have an eating disorder, or some other medical issue, I can sympathize. But I DON’T want to see it. Seriously, anyone who is more than 30 pounds overweight should have some common courtesy and COVER IT UP. I don’t need to see ass crack, hairy tummies or mounds of flesh hanging over your shorts throughout my day. There are just some things I don’t need to see. Same thing for all those anorexic idiots that fall over when a small gust of wind blows by. And what’s with all the piercings lately? Those giant (I and do mean giant) holes in your ears with half-dollar sized decorations look silly, AND your earlobes are going to be in the vicinity of your shoulders by the time you’re 30. When you’ve got more hardware than Home Depot (not excluding medical reasons), there’s a problem.
Oh yeah, there’s a match going on, right?
Hardy takes control early, as Cole and JBL hype up their respective No Mercy match ups. Chavo takes over after dropping Matt on the back of his head from the second rope. Chavo works the arm, but Hardy makes the comeback with some clotheslines and a BAAAAAACK body drop. Bulldog gets two. JBL talks about Matt “breaking the glass ceiling” by defeating Helms at No Mercy, and I chuckle. Side effect gets two. Matt goes for the yodeling legdrop, but Vicki is on the apron. Matt hits it anyway, but here comes Helms on the apron. Matt knocks him down and is setting up for the twist on Chavo, but while the ref is yelling at Helms, Vicki sneaks in and hits a low blow. Chavo is feeling froggy and gets the win (1/2 * – frogsplash). Not really much of a match, and the screwy finish was seen coming a mile away. Post match, Helms beats on Matt a bit. See, now why not do the Helms thing AFTER Matt wins? Is it really hurting Chavo THAT much by having him job before No Mercy?
Up next, Mr. Kennedy pays tribute to the Undertaker!
Commercials.
We get a small 24/7 spot featuring the Andre/Monsoon boxing match from way back when. Nice little clip there.
In the ring, Kennedy has a black cloth cover the ring, and three black and white wreaths. Ken was in awe last week, so tonight it’s a tribute. He runs down Taker’s wins, and shows us a video!
I just LOVE fast-forward material.
Anyway, Kennedy says that Taker has nothing left to prove, so as much as he’s looking forward to their match at No Mercy, he can’t in good conscience be the one responsible for blemishing Taker’s record. He goes on a bit on this, and honestly, I’m liking it. But here’s a BONG! I mean a GONG! It’s Mr. Fivehead! He has a message for Ken: he will show No Mercy (HAH!) and Ken will REST. IN. PEACE. Ken doesn’t like this, so he goes to ram the mic into Taker, when it sparks and explodes. No really, they’re going all “supernatural” again. Oh well, it’s not like they’d ever do an angle where Taker’s urn is stolen, lets out green smoke, and Taker himself is put in a casket that’s lit on fire, then “ascending” from the video wall to the top of the arena. Nope, WWE would NEVER do anything like that. No siree Bob.
Backstage, Booker holds Court and says bad things. All hail King Book-ah!!!
Tonight, six man shenanigans.
Next Monday, Edge gets his rematch in the CONFINES OF A STEEL CAGE.
Caps = drama. No, really.
Commercials.
The new Eric Bischoff book looks pretty good. Cole and JBL hype a an interview on WWE.com as well.
The Push Continues – Tatanka vs Mike Mizanin.
Can Tatanka pull off a miracle here? This is mostly Miz and Tatanka trading things until Miz starts mocking Tatanka. He goes for a backslide, but the ref can’t count as Miz’s head is under the ropes. Nobody cares about this match, and that includes me. Tatanka with a BAAAACK body drop and a pair clotheslines! WAR DANCE! You know, it’s just not as effective with the 10-15 pounds he needs to loose from his gut there. It looks more like a drunken skip these days. Anyway, Miz rolls up Tatanka for the win. (DUD — roll up). This served no purpose at all.
Backstage, SD GM TL touts the high rating from the season premiere last week, and says that next week, Booker and Lashley will be involved in a “pick your poison” type deal. Details on WWE.com. Meanwhile…
Jimmy Wang Yang is set to debut, against Sylvan, NEXT!
Commercials. The Angus burger is back. That’s some good artery-blocking there, but the sauce is pretty awful.
While recapping Sylvan’s reception last week, JBL says “we were in BIZZARO land”. HAH. They read me too.
Sylvan vs Jimmy Wang Yang
Yang gets a USA chant going to start. Cute. Sylvan hits a bunch of forearms and sends Yang for the ride, but Yang slides under and hits a three rotation flying headscissors, followed by a nice dropkick to a decent pop from the crowd. BTW, JBL’s commentary here is absolutely hilarious here. He’s made a nice transition into the color-job, much like Ventura did in the 80’s. Good for him. Sylvan takes over for a second, but Yang goes all flippy-floppy, hitting a jumping enziguri and Sylvan winds up outside. Yang goes for a plancha, but Sylvan just steps out of the way as Cole notes that Yang is wrestling in chaps. Thanks for that, buddy. Sylvan sends him back in, and hits a bunch of elbows. More power stuff by Sylvan, leading to a modified cobra-clutch. Yang elbows out and hits a jaw breaker to escape. Yang fights back with a couple of clotheslines and chops. He goes up top and hits a corkscrew cross body for two. Yah, it looks weird typed out, but it was cool to watch. Sylvan hits a gut shot, but Yang gets a spin kick for two. Yang whips him to the corner and charges, but Sylvan does a double leg trip and folds him up with feet his on the ropes for the three.(* 1/2 — roll-up/pin) Yang looked good in his debut; I swear I know this guy from somewhere. Wasn’t he part of Tajiri’s group back in early 2005?
Backstage, Vito has a bit of wisdom for us: it’s not the dress that makes the man, it’s the man that makes the dress. Um, sure.
Next — that match we’ve been hyping all night!
Commercials. I got the WWE Championship DVD set, and while there are some odd exclusions (why won’t they EVER give me Rock/HHH from JD 2000???) it’s a really good set. I wish we’d get some Mid-South/Crocket “best of” yearly sets though.
As announced earlier this week, SD! has signed Montel Vontavious Porter. This of course PALES in comparison to the news that TNA signed Kurt Angle. This is has been discussed ad infinitum, but I’ll just say that I hope it works for both TNA and Kurt. WWE needs competition. We also find out, MVP will debut at No Mercy. Pimping of the card so far ensues.
Main Event: Six Man Tag Team ACTION — Finlay, Sir William Regal and King Booker vs Batista, Bobby Lashley and John Cena.
As you might expect, the intros eat up a ton of time. Everybody goes at it outside the ring as the faces attack first. Cole actually says “it’s breaking down in Tulsa” as we head to…
Commercials. Runway looks like a decent show; I may check out the debut, just to see what it’s like.
We’re back, and it’s DAVE and Regal going at it. DAVE controls with power stuff until Booker gets the tag. Booker gets in a few shots, but DAVE over powers him. Lashley tags in and works over Booker getting a two count. Booker hits the back-kick, but Lashley takes over again after catching Booker on the run (going for a leap frog) into a powerslam for two. Not as crisp as Golddust does it, but looked cool just the same. Lashley beats him down some more, but Booker gets a thumb to the eye and tags in Finlay. But he gets in trouble with a press slam into a gutbuster. Lashley charges for the spear, but Finlay moves and Lashley hits the STEEL post. We cut to a shot of Finlay’s dropped shillelagh, almost missing the tag to Cena. I don’t really dislike Cena, but I DO think he’s a better fit for SmackDown. Cena takes out Booker’s Court and hits the spinning powerbomb on Regal. Cena drops the five-knuckle-shuffle on Regal and hooks on the STFU on Finlay, which was oddly censored to just STF (you can hear the crowd difference; that was a really BAD edit).
Regal and Booker break up the move and all of them are going at it. While the ref is trying to restore order, Finlay rolls out while the little bastard pops out from under the ring and hands Finlay a NEW shillelagh, which he uses on Cena’s arm as we head to our last set of…
Commercials.
We’re back, and Finlay is working over Cena’s arm, which is heavily taped if I forgot to mention it. Regal back in now, and he puts more pain on Cena. A tag is made, but the ref didn’t see it, so it doesn’t count. Always a good, reliable spot as long as it’s not overdone. Finlay is back in, again, working over the arm. Finlay gets two off a big clothesline. Regal comes over and talks trash to DAVE, so Booker comes in and takes over for Finlay. The ref tries to argue it, but remembers that these are the heels and it’s ok for them, so he lets it go. Booker hits a superkick for two, broken up by Lashley. Booker keeps on the arm as a ticker explains the “pick your poison” setup for next week. Cena fights out, but gets a knee to the back on a run by Finlay, into a Booker spinbuster. Finlay comes back in and keylocks the arm again. Cena powers out into the FU position (again, censored to just “U”), but Finlay fights out for a two count.
Booker gets the tag again, just slapping Cena around. But Cena ducks low and Booker crotches himself on the top rope. Hot tag to Lashley and he takes everyone out, hitting a running powerslam on Booker for two. Regal and Finlay break it up, so DAVE comes in a sends them out. DAVE and Booker are going at it inside, but Finlay trips up DAVE from the floor. Booker is going for the axe-kick, but Lashley spears him out of his boots and gets the pin. (** 1/2 — spear/pin) Peppy little match there, with good psychology working Cena’s arm for most of the match, making him almost a non-factor.
Post match, the faces are outside holding the fort with Cena alone, which allows Edge to sneak in and hit a spear of his own on Cena. Edge takes off and Cena writhes in pain, BUT WE’RE OUT OF TIME –
The Inside Pulse
A snappy main event makes this a decent show; while the wrestling itself was mostly “not good” to “ok”, the show overall was actually fairly entertaining.
Until next week, SMACK THIS!
