Rasslin Roundtable: TNA Bound For Glory

Every promotion has traditionally had an annual show that represents the culmination of that year. The WWE has Wrestlemania. WCW had Starrcade. And TNA has Bound For Glory. This Sunday, the 2006 installment of Bound for Glory occurs. Let’s take a rundown of the Pulse Wrestling staff’s picks.

NWA World Heavyweight Title w/Kurt Angle as special enforcer
Title vs. Career
Jeff Jarrett (c) vs. Sting

Blatt: I’m thinking back to when Jarrett was getting chants aimed at him with “drop the belt”. No other situation has screwed for Jarrett to drop that damn belt as much as this one does. Sting vs. Joe for the belt. Sting is the champion and Joe’s got the belt. With Angle waiting in the wings to fight with Joe once Sting drops the belt we’ve got a win-win situation because Jarrett is out of the main event picture for a while.
Winner — Sting

J. Botter: Sting is not going to win the title; he doesn’t need it and quite frankly, putting the belt on him is just a very bad idea. The idea behind this match is good and putting Sting’s career on the line is a nifty gimmick, but everyone knows it won’t hold up anyway, so they’re probably going to do some sort of screwy finish where Jeff keeps the belt and Sting doesn’t have to retire. My guess is that Angle and Samoa Joe both get involved in the match, and they’ll also continue to plant the seeds for a Jarrett face turn.
Winner – Jeff Jarrett

Iain Burnside: It’s not just a chance to relive WCW, it’s a chance to relive WWA as well!! You know, those Australian people that liked Nathan Jones? That was fun. They had hardcore midgets and Ernest Miller teaming with Buff Bagwell to form the unlikely Blow & Suck combination. Good times. They were especially good because of Jeff Jarrett’s involvement, and because of the ever-present “Where’s Jarrett?” dynamic that kept the audience scintillated throughout the non-Jarrett portions of the show. I expect nothing less. Am I being ironic? Is Kurt Angle crazy, not-sexy, not-cool? Will Sting LEAVE TNA FOREVER… HIS CAREER IS OVER, FOLKS… DAMN YOU, JEFF JARRETT!!! Will Tenay be aptly punished for such heresy? The answer is ‘no’, but I’m not telling you to which question. Bring forth the year 2000! Total Nonstop Fifth Monarchists! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett!
Winner — still heavyweight something of the whatever, Jarrett

Danny Wallace: Wow.. Career vs. Title. Who the f*ck cares? Plans are to turn Double J face… HOW exactly? And WHO do they feud him with? A Kurt Angle heel turn? For the life of me I can’t figure out the booking at TNA. That’s normally a good thing, but this is too mind-boggling even for me. To me, it looks like they have all these great guys, yet don’t know what to do with them so they’re just throwing them all together and hoping something good comes out of it.

For example – Kurt Angle is starting a program with Samoa Joe (from what we’ve seen on iMPACT!). OK, so why is he the Special Enforcer in the Main Event? Shouldn’t he be having a scuffle or something with Jarrett, or Sting for that matter? Too many cooks spoil the broth and all that. Personally, a lot of things need straightening out for me to be bothered about all this.
Winner — Sting

Vinny Truncellito: Jarrett can lose, take some time off, and come back with a new approach to his character. However if Sting fails to win the title, according to the storyline, he’s GONE. I don’t think that’s gonna happen.
Winner — Sting

Steve Murray: Well, that stip makes the winner a bit obvious, doesn’t it?
Winner — Sting

Eric Szulczewski: Suddenly, things have become much more difficult. Reports say that plans right now are to have the NWA title go from Jarrett to Joe through Angle. So, on what time scale do you do this? The move to prime time requires something special. Perhaps Jarrett drops the title as soon as then to Angle, who goes through challengers and avoids Joe like the plague until he can’t. That would be at Slammiversary during King of the Mountain. In any case, Angle will have to get the title no later than, oh, That Phil Collins Song in February. Since Sting doesn’t belong in the picture, you’d think that, with his contract being up soon, this would be his swan song. Yeah, like that’s going to happen. Hinky ending here that will either be a blatant DQ or have Corny come out during the next Impact and void the stip due to assorted bullshit.
Winner – Sting by DQ or Jarrett by nefarious means

David Brashear: Career vs. title? That definitely clears things up, and we’ve got our next two major feuds: Sting vs. Joe for the belt and Jarrett can play around with Angle. Jarrett loses after Angle intervenes.
Winner — Sting

Joel Geraghty: Angle has been the biggest selling point for this match with Sting’s new look a close second, and Jarrett has basically been an afterthought here while Joe has been playing champion since No Surrender, but he finally snuck in and regained his belt at the last moment on Impact. The look he had on his face when he looked at the strap was one of finally realizing that his time might be up and that maybe all the shit he’s pulled to keep the title isn’t worth it anymore, which is an interesting turn for his character and leads one to think that he’ll be losing it tonight. It also doesn’t make sense for Sting to lose since he’s apparently sticking around TNA for another year, and it would really suck if they had Sting lose due to screwjob and then return from “retirement” in two weeks. That angle is so old and played-out, it would make Angle look ineffectve (or kill his heat if he turned heel to help JJ), and would reinforce that stipulations don’t mean shit. So I really hope we see a happy ending with Angle preventing copious interference and Sting beating Jarrett for the belt to blow off their 10-month-long feud.
Winner – Sting

NWA Tag Team Titles
Six Sides of Steel
AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels (c) vs. LAX

J. Botter: LAX is the second-hottest act in the company behind Kurt Angle, and it’s officially time to put the program with Styles and Daniels to bed and move LAX into a feud with America’s Most Wanted. Styles, Daniels and Homicide are all great and Hernandez is fine when he just has to do his power spots, so this should easily be the best match on the show.
Winner — LAX

Iain Burnside: Where’s Jarrett? Perhaps he’s throwing shoes at Konnan, calling him an “uppity nigger”, having the walking nervous breakdown Terry Taylor whisper nervously in his ear that “Konnan is not black”, then calling Terry Taylor an “uppity nigger”, then taking a shine to a pair of the shoes, possibly something in white, and putting them on his exceptionally smellable feet, then tying the laces with a guitar, then looking around for that “uppity spic”, then deciding that he likes those other two better because of their strapping young buttocks and their ability to flip at a better standard than that uppity other lot.
Winners – the always twirling, twirling, twirling, STYLES & DANIELS

Danny Wallace: Now THIS is something I can sink my teeth into. Brutal, Vicious and Violent are all words that can describe how this match will come across. They won’t let us down.
Winner – Styles & Daniels

Vinny Truncellito: Tough call. They’re tied at one match each, plus several beat-downs. Can LAX survive as a viable threat after losing this match (especially considering TNA is playing up the cage as an environment LAX is at home in)? Certainly Styles and Daniels can live with the loss and without the straps, as they are two of the bigger fan faves on the roster. I’ll cheer for The Phenomenal Angels, but I think the better business choice is to keep LAX strong, and seemingly dangerous.
Winner — LAX

Steve Murray: The feud between these two has been hotter than I expected, mostly because I had no idea Hernandez was so impressive. I can’t see them switching the title again this soon, but Styles and Daniels don’t really need them, do they?
Winner — LAX

Eric Szulczewski: Will you people please stop calling Chris ‘n A. J. the “Phenomenal Angels”? The only time blending a pair’s nicknames have worked for a tag team was with Pretty Wonderful. ‘Tards…’tards surround me. As for the match, the big spot will have to come from Hernandez, who’s got to be sick and tired of the constant fellating that we give the other three guys in the match. He’s definitely in retarded child mode here. Does he try something Skipper-esque? Probably not that far, but he’ll go insane. And it’ll cost his team the match.
Winners – A. J. ‘n Chris

David Brashear: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Styles and Daniels should be going after singles titles, not the tag belts. That said, it looks like TNA’s still priming the Naturals for another title run, and I can see that happening easier with LAX holding the belts than a face/face Styles/Daniels-Nats match.
Winners — LAX

Joel Geraghty: This has been an awesome old-school bloodfeud and this is being hyped as the rubber match on neutral ground after LAX won the Border Brawl and the Phenomenal Angels won the Ultimate X. I’m going out on a limb and predicting another off-the-charts performance by both teams ending with LAX recapturing the belts to blow off the feud. I like the Angels as a team, but I wouldn’t mind seeing the start of an angle leading to a Styles heel turn in the future.
Winners – LAX

Blatt: I think AMW is heading LAX’s way and without the belts. That is, if they can keep AMW together. This will probably lead to AJ and Daniels vs. Team 3D after the quickly dispose of the James Gang.
Winners – AJ and Daniels

TNA X-Division Title
Senshi (c) vs. Chris Sabin

Iain Burnside: One of these people kicks. The other one writes theses on Jackass’s marketing strategy. Jarrett can sing “she sells sea shells on the sea shore” on a trampoline whilst eating a child’s birthday cake, so f*ck ’em, they don’t merit a title change.
Winner – he who is one lighter shade of bland, SENSHI

Danny Wallace: Senshi is one of those guys who people really want to like, but a) he’s apparently a dick in real life, and b) he’s not given enough time to build a character. Yes, there’s only 2 hours of programming for TNA, so that’s the reason for that, but why not have a separate online show, or just SOMETHING where they can upload an hours worth of video to YouTube and call it “TNA-Online” or something like that, where the mid-card wrestlers can extend the feuds they are involved with (which is where many of the online fan’s favorites are).
Winner – Chris Sabin

Vinny Truncellito: PLEASE get the strap off that ignoramus! I’m so tired of Senshi tromping around like he’s still two evolutionary steps away from Homo sapiens. I say Sabin gets tired of all the “Jackass” monkeyshines and gets his head on straight to win the title.
Winner — Chris Sabin

Steve Murray: I still see no reason to move the belt off of Senshi – he’s intense, the crowd still goes for him, and there’d really be nothing else to do with him if he wasn’t champ.
Winner — Senshi

Eric Szulczewski: The Low Ki/Jackasses feud makes absolutely no sense. Logic dictates that Sabin get the duke after being beaten down on Impact, but logic has evaded this entire situation with the skill of a fugitive Nazi in South America. No title for you, Chris. And get ready to welcome Kevin Nash back into your life.
Winner – Low Ki

David Brashear: I would’ve been willing to go for Sabin in this match until I saw how the whole Jackass angle has turned the crowd against him. Looks like Senshi will retain another month”¦
Winner — Senshi

Joel Geraghty: I think (hope?) we’ve seen the last of Jackass antics ruining an otherwise good match, so this should be pretty damn good and I see Sabin adopting a harder edge, maybe blowing off Dutt & Lethal backstage while they goof around, and winning the belt in his (almost) hometown.
Winner – Chris Sabin

Blatt: Senshi’s coming out on top of this one so Nash can win the title from Senshi and eventually get Alex Shelly over. Besides, if Senshi doesn’t keep the title, then why does he matter? Sabin will tempt Jerry Lynn out of “retirement” for the next program. So this one’s a holding pattern until they can pull the trigger on those programs.
Winner — Senshi

J. Botter: Two weeks ago I’d have said Senshi would be holding on to the belt in this match, but now I’m not so sure. I know the original idea was for Sabin to beat Kevin Nash at the end of the X Division storyline, so perhaps they’ll go back to that now that he’s done with his sabbatical. I think they’ll keep the belt on Senshi and move him into programs with Styles and Daniels, because those two won’t have any real tag teams to feud with once LAX and America’s Most Wanted are tied up.
Winner — Senshi

Detroit 8 Mile Street Fight
Christian Cage vs. Rhino

Vinny Truncellito: Considering this is their WrestleMania, TNA will most likely have the “face” in this feud go over. However, I can’t see how any fan could cheer for Rhino over Christian. Cage is ten-times more interesting, and his character is more fully developed. Unfortunately, I see Rhino getting his revenge here. If it were my decision, I’d give Christian the big win and set him up as Sting’s first challenger for the 10 pounds of gold.
Winner — Rhino

Steve Murray: Honestly, I have no idea who’s winning this. I just hope it’s bloody.
Winner — Rhino

Eric Szulczewski: Wrestling tradition dictates that Rhiyno has to get some back at some point. Wrestling tradition also dictates that no one wins “their” match. Wrestling tradition also knows that it has no place in a TNA booked by Vince Russo, so it’s going to clear out and say “Screw it”.
Winner – Rhiyno, because this feud has to end sometime

David Brashear: Looks like this may be the end of the road for this feud. Christian won last month, so by the Laws of Wrestling:
Winner — Rhino

Joel Geraghty: Another heated, personal feud that has gone from a placeholder angle for Christian until the Sting feud, to one of the more multidimensional storylines in the company as TNA took advantage of the longtime friendship between Cage and Rhino to tell this story. I’ve really enjoyed it and while their match last month was a tad disappointing in the intensity department, this Street Fight should make up for it. I hope they actually take it outside the building and into the street to differentiate it from the Monster’s Ball. Call me crazy, but I’d love to see Christian shove Rhino in front of a moving vehicle and pin him in the middle of the street to blow off the feud and give Rhino a month off to refresh his character. That puts Christian over as a total heartless bastard willing to do anything it takes to get to the top of TNA… after all, he just threw his former best friend in the path of an oncoming car.
Winner – Christian Cage

Blatt: Would have been an awesome match in 2001. Both of these guys have slowed down a bit since then, but hopefully they can try to live up to the feud they’ve created. Christian can whine his way out of a loss and Rhino can’t really afford one here.
Winner – The Man Machine War Beast Rhino

J. Botter: Where in the Laws Of Professional Wrestling Booking does it state that you have to come up with a creative name just to describe a standard gimmick match like a street fight? Do you have to call it an 8 Mile Street Fight, or can we simply refer to it as a street fight? Will the fight actually taking place on 8 Mile Road, or will it be like every other street fight and take place in the ring? And why are they called street fights in the first place when I can’t even remember the last time one of these things went into the street? So many questions, and so little interest in the actual answers to those questions.
Winner – Rhino

Iain Burnside: Now, I am sure that we can all agree that 8 Mile would have been a better film had Jarrett smashed a guitar over Eminem’s pasty head in the final rap contest. Then he could have told him to “quit tryin’ ta betta yasel, ya uppity nigger!” as he tried to scrub the whitener off of Eminem’s face with a watermelon. Then he would have realised that the guy wasn’t actually black. Then, in a fit of rage, he would have had Earl Hebner chuck some Mexicans back across the border. Then he would have had a boiled egg and ate it with his guitar. Where did the egg come from? Canada. Who else came from Canada? Chanandler Bong. Yes, but who else, who wasn’t fictional? The guy billing himself as Christian Cage? Yes. I think his real name is Kirsten Durst or something. Anyway. He’ll win. Why? Because he’s less greasy, hence less likely to be an uppity spic in disguise.
Winner – let me go, we will not let you go, CHRISTIAN CAGE

Danny Wallace: Both guys are close friends, so they will give their all to steal the show with this one. I’m looking forward to it.
Winner – Christian Cage

Monster’s Ball
Special Guest Referee Jake Roberts
Abyss vs. Brother Runt vs. Raven vs. Samoa Joe

Steve Murray: Well, there’s only one guy who can’t afford a loss. Too bad he’s the worst fit for this kind of match.
Winner – Samoa F. Joe

Eric Szulczewski: Well, duh. There is no way in hell Joe doesn’t win this match unless they decide to make it Angle Advancement and give us another Raven/Abyss program or something like that.
Winner – Samoa Joe

David Brashear: Looks like the winner in this one is fairly obvious. The more interesting question is whether Abyss is the only one to get planted in the tacks that will likely show up.
Winner — Samoa Joe

Joel Geraghty: I dig all four guys and think they will put on a killer brawl all over the arena with a bevy of weapons. Joe will show why it’s not a mistake to be randomly placed in this match by displaying many creatively violent ways to kick some ass and will end up adding this to his list of victories by choking out Raven. Afterwards, Joe moves up the card to feud with the main-eventers while Jake gets involved with the other three, maybe as an advisor to Runt in an angle with Raven.
Winner – Joe

Blatt: Um. I almost forgot this match was happening. So we’ll have to sit through looking at these guys in the boxes they’ve been in for 24 hours. Sure they have. If Joe doesn’t win this one I’m shocked. Look for him to wreak havoc on these guys. Why is Joe even in this match? The answer is that they needed to do SOMETHING with him and putting him over a few mid-carders is the answer.
Winner — Samoa Joe

J. Botter: Normally I’d say Joe will win this match because he’s undefeated and they’d want to keep that streak alive, but he’s not actually undefeated, he just hasn’t been pinned, and since TNA is acknowledging that I guess we can factor it into the finish. It makes no sense for Jake Roberts to be involved in this match unless he’s going to somehow play into the finish, and my guess is that he’ll turn on Raven and Runt and side with Abyss. I’ll be honest with you; I just randomly picked that name out of the three involved with the match that aren’t named Samoa Joe. It could just as easily be Runt or Raven and I still wouldn’t care.
Winner – The Monster Abyss

Iain Burnside: The Babysitter Club EXPLODES!!!!! Oh, I can’t even be arsed typing anything else for this one.
Winner – and you shouldn’t be arsed to be here, ‘specially with that arse, SAMOA JOE

Danny Wallace: Abyss is the 1PW World Champ. He won it by beating Steve Corino in a sick “No Ropes Barbed Wire Hell” match at the last 1PW event, which I went to. If the guy is willing to but his body on the line against Corino in a match using REAL Barbed Wire (I felt it, it was the real deal), JBL knows what lengths he’s willing to go to, to win the Monsters Ball match. Raven’s past it, Runt is crap, Joe is messing with Angle so my hat’s tipped to Joe walking out the winner, after giving and taking a pasting from Abyss.
Winner – Samoa Joe

Vinny Truncellito: Jake’s a non-factor. They should keep Joe strong, as he’s obviously heading for bigger and better things in the near future. However, he has still refused to return the strap, so they might develop this situation on Saturday night. In that case, I’d give the match to Raven.
Winner — Samoa Joe

Loser Gets Fired
Eric Young vs. Larry Zbyszko

Eric Szulczewski: The process is simple: Larry Legend loses this one, then becomes the functional equivalent of Jarrett’s manager. Then I realized that this is Vince Russo booking. Then I realized that Russo likes guys like EY and loves doing intricate little angles like the one EY’s involved in at this point. Thus, it’s back to square one.
Winner – The Third-Most Important Eric In Wrestling

David Brashear: The whole Don’t Fire Eric angle exploded thanks to Eric Young’s work at getting it over. He needs back into TNA, and here’s his opportunity.
Winner — Eric Young

Joel Geraghty: This should be the comedy match of the night with the crowd cheering Eric on to victory to regain his job. If they give Larry a lot of offense like they did in his match with Raven a couple months back, I’ll be pissed. Eric should be TNA’s beloved mascot babyface like Tommy Dreamer was to ECW, but without doing endless jobs unless it’s part of an angle that will help elevate him otherwise. This isn’t that angle. I wouldn’t be opposed to Zbyszko coming back in the future as a color commentator since I liked him in that role in WCW, but he’ll need a few months off first to rehab his clownish image. Eric wins and gets rehired, while Larry disappears.
Winner – Eric Young

Blatt: Don’t Fire Eric. Comedy match. See ya Larry.
Winner – Eric Young

J. Botter: Eric Young is the only true in-house creation TNA has; they’ve somehow turned the doofus into someone that the fans love, and they shouldn’t jeopardize that by having him lose to an old man who wasn’t even that good of a worker when he was young. Hopefully this match signifies the end of TNA’s fascination with trying to make Larry Legend relevant to an audience that really doesn’t want to see him on television.
Winner – Eric Young

Iain Burnside: Oh, no! Somebody might get fired!! They took our jobs! Additional comment about Jeff Jarrett’s commanding usage of mouthwash!
Winner – it’s only funny when they don’t notice it, ERIC YOUNG

Danny Wallace: Seriously.. this “Don’t Fire Eric” angle got blown a few weeks ago when they “fired” him the first time. They wasted it, and it can’t be salvaged, but hopefully the heat on Young can and will lead to him getting employed again down the line after a “Please Hire Eric” angle (along with a new T-Shirt).
Winner – Larry Zbyszko

Vinny Truncellito: Let’s see. The crowd LOVES Young, he has superbly developed his character, he’s great in the ring, and people want to see him return. Plus, Z screwed him into being fired to begin with. On the other hand, Zbyszko’s got, umm”¦ a wig.
Winner — Showtime Eric Young

Steve Murray: Jarrett loves Young (allegedly), and you never bet against the house.
Winner – Eric Young

Kevin Nash Open Invitational X Division Gauntlet Battle Royal

David Brashear: And here we have our “let’s get everybody who wasn’t already booked on the card” match. This would be a perfect match for a debuting guy”¦ isn’t Austin Aries-Starr supposed to show up here? Still, we’ve got to keep building the Nash vs. X-Division feud. I’ll say that Aries winds up eliminating Alex Shelley, finding himself in the gun sights of Big Kev.
Winner — Austin Starr

Joel Geraghty: Alex Shelley is the only participant announced so far, but I’m sure we could also expect to see Devine, Lethal, Dutt, Petey, Bentley, Kazarian, Sharky, and maybe Smiley. Other possibilities could be Skipper, Truth, David Young (I think he was X Division in the early days of TNA), Jerry Lynn, or even the debut of Austin Starr since he is supposed to be “Born” here but isn’t advertised on the lineup. And I know he’s apparently a “locker room cancer” or whatever and he f*cked over TNA to go to WWE last year, but I’d personally love to see the return of Kid Kash. Or how about Sean Waltman due to the Nash connection, although I think he’s contracted to the MTV promotion. I also wouldn’t be surprised to see ICP get involved since it’s in Detroit and rumors are that this match will be played for laughs. Whatever happens, it should be entertaining with Nash’s involvement and I hope Shelley emerges victorious in his hometown… only to turn the crowd against him when Nash announces they’re getting the f*ck out of Detroit to celebrate.
Winner – Alex Shelley

Blatt: This could be interesting. Alex Shelley is the obvious choice here. I can’t find ANY information on this match at TNA’s website, or even one of their promotional blabber pieces about what might happen or a bogus interview with Nash with lots of quotes that probably were never spoken. Whatever, I’ll go with the one guy that I don’t see on the roster who’s getting a moderate push here.
Winner – Alex Shelley

J. Botter: …

Iain Burnside: Uh-oh, finally, we’ve got somebody who can challenge Jeff Jarrett. Thank goodness TNA are too short-sighted to see the bankruptcy benefits in pushing Kevin Nash, otherwise Jarrett might be out of a job. I was a simile once, too. Then I ate a dictionary. Now I’m a pronoun! Bing a bong of Bic pens, the fat man’s gonna cry, all the non-white races, came into his eye. Who can save The Fat Man? Who else? Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett!
Winner – ALEX SHELLEY… Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett! Jarr-ett!

Danny Wallace: Time for an Alex Shelley face turn and a program with Kevin Nash? I’m calling it.
Winner – Alex Shelley

Vinny Truncellito: How can you predict a winner when you don’t know the participants?
Winner — Alex Shelley, I suppose

Steve Murray: Eh, whatever. Hopefully they’ve decided by now that the Jackass angle is really, really not getting over.
Winner – Alex Shelley

Eric Szulczewski: Oh, great, we’re going to be graded on picking a match with one announced participant. Of course, we also were forced to pick an opponent for Porter and try to determine a winner. Easy one here: it’s either going to be Shelley with Nash’s help or some “surprise entrant”. How open is Waltman’s contract with WSX? Since I have to put in a name…
Winner – Alex Shelley

Four Corners Tag Match
America’s Most Wanted vs. the James Gang vs. Team 3D vs. the Naturals

J. Botter: My gut instinct tells me to go with America’s Most Wanted here because they’re going to be shifting into a program with LAX. I really don’t have anything else to say about this match.
Winner – America’s Most Wanted

Danny Wallace: The AMW split will happen here, and will happen for good this time. The James Gang aren’t going to win because there’s no reason for them to. Team 3D are up for another push again (vs. Styles & Daniels anybody?) so it’s either them or The Naturals. As much as I like The Naturals’ new gimmick, I’m gunning for Team 3D.
Winner – Team 3D

Vinny Truncellito: I hate when they look at the roster and say, “Hey, who didn’t we book for the big show?” and then just toss them into a gigantic tag match or battle royal. I’d like to see them keep the Naturals hot, but they weren’t even on iMPACT! this week. Curious. Then again, considering the deal with BG James supporting JJ in a logical way, perhaps the James Gang get the duke here, leading into the storyline return of Jarrett down the road.
Winner — The James Gang

America’s Most Wanted vs. the James Gang vs. Team 3D vs. the Naturals
Steve Murray: I think the artists formerly known as the Dudleyz are building up for one big last push. This is where it starts.
Winner – Team 3D

Eric Szulczewski: Have so many big names inspired so much apathy? AMW hasn’t won a match in approximately forever, the two refugee teams are going to play their own little game of Angle Advancement, and they still haven’t tapped out the whole Frenchfries thing with the Nats. So let’s go with the kids here.
Winners – Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas

David Brashear: And this is a match that could go literally any way. AMW could win, then go on to feud with LAX. The Dudleys are coming back after an extended absence, and we could see a renewed push for them. The James Gang is a wildcard. Still, I called a Naturals/LAX match (feud?) above, so I’ll stick by my guns.
Winners — The Naturals

Joel Geraghty: It seems pretty obvious after Impact that AMW should get the win here and go on to feud with LAX for the belts, with the savage attack on Gail Kim bringing AMW back together to forget their petty differences. I could see Shane Douglas turning on the Naturals afterwards and aligning with another team, maybe Kazarian & Bentley to give them a purpose. Not sure what 3D would do if they lose… hopefully not another James Gang feud. Another possibility is 3D winning and feuding with Styles & Daniels, who could retain the tag title in the cage match, while AMW and LAX could still feud without the belts.
Winners – AMW

PRESHOW
Bobby Roode vs. Lance Hoyt

Danny Wallace: Hmmm… Roode losing his first match with his new manager? Don’t think so…
Winner – Bobby Roode

Vinny Truncellito: Hoyt = jobber. Roode wins with help from his debuting manager, whoever that might be.
Winner — The Canadian Enforcer

Steve Murray: Thanks for showing up, Lance.
Winner – Bobby Roode

Eric Szulczewski: Traci Brooks’ tits trump all.
Winner – Bobby Roode

David Brashear: Looks like there’s a Canadian headin’ to the pay windah tonight.
Winner — Bobby Roode

Joel Geraghty: Great way to get over the “hottest free agent in wrestling” by having him wrestle on the Preshow two months in a row. Roode should introduce Traci Brooks as his new manager here and she will be as hot as ever, but unfortunately we don’t get the Preshow here so I won’t even get to see her. I think they’ll make a good pair (no, that’s not a boob joke) and it will be interesting to see what they can do together. As for this match, Hoyt gets in some offense but Roode needs to dominate and take the win easily, or else he’ll come off just like MVP on SmackDown and I don’t think that’s TNA’s intention. (I’m really excited to see how TNA pulls off their first PPV in an actual arena with actual fans/marks. It should be a very cool atmosphere and like I said, this show has tremendous potential. We should also get a peek into the future of TNA and see what Russo is building up, since this lineup was apparently pretty much already set when Russo came aboard. I love what he’s done the last couple of weeks on Impact, so hopefully that’s a good indication of where he’s headed. I’ll be ordering this PPV (surprise surprise) and should have a recap/review up either late Monday or sometime on Tuesday. I’m looking forward to this one. See you in the Motor City!)
Winner – Bobby Roode

J. Botter: I look forward to the collective “who” that will resonate from the audience when Bobby Roode reveals Traci Brooks as his manager. Jeebus…if you’re going to tease having guys like Bobby Heenan as your manager and the payoff is Traci Brooks, then you’re in serious, serious trouble.
Winner – Bobby Roode

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