IT’S NOT TABOO..
IT’S SHUNDAY..
AND IT’S SHYBER!!!!
T H E
S H Y B E R
S H U N D A Y
R A B B L E ! !
And due to some tech difficulties – we start right with the vote as to whether it’s Kane, Benoit, or Sandman versus Umaga…
HEY MARIA IS WEARING A BRA!
So – Umaga is facing???
KANE!
KANE vs. UMAGA
49% of the world… suck
So here comes Kane to be in the ring with Umaga – and there’s Kane’s pyro!
“Kane’s here!” – Eric
“His pyro’s been set up for weeks!” – Hernandez
So Umaga charges in and they go to blows. Kane beats Umaga down in the corner, and there probably won’t be alot of Rabble here – as we’re settling in and getting our pizza.. and honestly… we don’t care.
Kane boots Umaga out of the corner. European uppercut. Kick to the gut. Kane then runes in and gets belly to bellied.
“This match shows that the people of the world or sheep.” – Jeffrey
“Yeah, I wanted Benoit too” – Eric
Kane fights to his feet and throws Umaga to the ropes. Boot to his face! He walks right into a facebuster though…. and now Umaga is talking to himself. He chops Kane in the corner. Throws Kane into the middle of the ring.
“Alejandro likes to watch Umaga hurt people” – Lawler
“..that didn’t sound right.” – Eric
Flying headbutt from Umaga. Kane crawls into the corner. Headsquash. Kane bails.
Umaga gets tripped up on the floor by Kane and beats him against the ring apron. Throws him in – and now Kane has the upper hand and there are lots of ring beatings. Look.. you KNOW what this match looks like. It’s a beaty-fest. Kane hits the charging clothesline into the corner… twice.
Kane gets thrown to the ropes – and leaps up for a samoan drop! Umaga makes the symbol for the neckpoke – and Kane sits up! He gets up for the chokeslam…. and his eyes get raked.
He throws Umaga to the corner and hits a belly to back! Now Kane to the tope rope…. Alejandro tries to stop him and gets kicked down. He goes for the top rope leap – but Umaga punches him right in the throat – sets up for the neckpoke. Hits it.
WINNER: UMAGA
Yuck.
“He’s gonna break his thumb one day… and we’re all gonna be happy” – Bill
“Happy like when Sid Vicious broke his ankle?” – Jeffrey
“I was NOT happy when Vicious broke his ankle.. I was in pain” – Me
In the back Sharmel and Big Show have to talk… she tries to convince Show that being Champion of Champions isn’t the most important thing.
Show says it is.
Sharmel can’t act.
HEY IT’S TIME TO KICK BACK AND GRABA A FOURTY!
IT’S THE HIGGGGHHHHLANDERSZZZ!
“I’M ROBBY!” – Bill
“No I’M ROBBY” – Hernandez
IT’S THE REDNECK RAMPAGE….
“When did he get big!??!” – Dani
“Yeah Cade’s been shoot— working out.” – Me
Now here comes the vote:
FATAL FOURWAY
TAG TEAM TURMOIL
TEXAS TORNADO
50% for TEXAS TORNADO..
god damnit… i hate writing this…
“What is that?” – Dani
“It’s where Cryme Tyme and Viscera form into one giant black man” – Hernandez
CRYME TYME vs. HIGHLANDERS vs. REDNECKS vs. NO-POPS
What kinda match?
So outside Highlanders are fighting with Rednecks – while inside, Viscera is beating Shad and Haas is beating on JT… but Haas hits the ropes and JT drops them sending out Haas.
JT then grabs Shad and then Alabama Slams him onto Viscera… in runs Murdoch to stop a pinfall.
“Redneck vs. Blackman?” – Jeffrey
“What do you call that move? THe lynching?” – Bill
In run the HIghlanders – they clothesline Cade out.. they clothesline Murdoch… JT and Viscera are out.. and Highlanders are out together.
“There’s nobody left for us to pin!” – Bill
So they, in fact, plancha both sides of the ring to launch out.
In the ring… JT rolls in with Haas and now they go fist to fist. JT hits an AWESOME dropkick. Haas hits a belly to back – and turns around to eat a boot by Shad! Viscera goes in and now fights it out with the newly entered Shad! Viscera hits a black hole slam!
“The blackest hole ever!” – Me
In run the Highlanders now and the Highlanders throw out Viscera, who lands on Haas.. poor guy. The Rednecks back in and they throw out Rory and begin to hit doubleteams all over the Highlanders. Rory eats almost a total elimination and in runs Cryme Tyme to toss out Murdoch and steal the pin! HA!
WINNER: CRYME TYME
“Poor Highlanders.” – Hernandez
They go to the tableside and celebrate with Lawler & JR… at the end JR and Lawler want to know where their laptop went…. ok, it’s still funny.
In the back Shawn is on a laptop hitting a button. Hunter comes over and they discuss who their ref should be. They don’t want Vince. They don’t want Coach.
“I guess that leaves Eric Bischoff… I guess we’ve never done anything to him yet.” – Shawn
When discussing them being controversial.. Shawn says:
“WHAT!? I PUT BRET HART IN A SHARPSHOOTER! YOU MARRIED…. WHAT’S HER NAME!”
–pause–
“HEY YOU! WHAT’S YOUR NAME” – Shawn
(Random guy)”STAN!” – Stan
*SUPERKICK*
“THAT’S CONTROVERSIAL!” – Shawn
He then superkicks another random 3 people…. genius
Now here comes controversy incarnate…. Jeff Hardy.
“WHACK SUPERKICK!” – Hernandez
Maria is actually being smart tonight.. it’s so cute…
Anyway – who is Jeff facing?
CARLITO
SHELTON
NITRO
..winner is..
CaaaaaaaaaarrrLITO! with %62 of the vote!
JEFF HARDY vs. CARLITO
Expect the Carlito Push
“I’m predicting Carlito’s winning it.” – Me
Carlito goes for a handshake…. Jeff takes it and it’s nice and civil.
“HE HAS ACID ON HIM!” – Hernandez
Lock up and belly to back from Carlito with a snapmare for two. Hardy hits a inside cradle for two.
Carlito now fights for a backslide and gets it for two with a kick-up.
Jeff hits the rope and shouldercheck drops Carlito. Another hit of the ropes and Carlito leaps – but Jeff misses whatever the spot was supposed to be.. so instead they stand facing each other and Carlito dropkicks his thigh in an awesomely random fashion.
Anyway – get a pin for two and they get to their feet. Jeff goes to the ropes and Carlito leaps, but Jeff dropkicks him.. nice spot. Now Carlito hits the ropes and moonsaults OVER Jeff and gets thrown out instead.
Outside Carlito gets baseball slid right into his face and Hardy goes for the ‘Walkin The Rails’ and eats a dropkick. As a note – this match is crazy sloppy looking…
Rolls Jeff in and gets a two count. Right into the chinlock. Jeff snaps Carlito into the corner and Jeff goes for the ‘hold on to the top rope double leg’ and gets knees right into his gut.
“Carlito got the acid rush out of him it seems.” – Eric
Now back to a sitdown hold from Carlito to Jeff… Jeff now fights his way out of it. Then gets hit with a jawbreaker. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate – but Carlito pushes out of it and drop toe hold – for two – no. Back into the stomach lock.
We just noticed the big banner on the top of the arena… and are now screaming
‘REVOLUUUUTIONNARYYYY… INNTERRRRACCCTIVVVEEEE…’
The belly lock has gone on for a good three minutes and the boring chant begins.
Jeff fights his way out of it and stumbles to the corner – he runs in and eats a flapjack for two. Sideslam for three. Back into the headlock…. Carlito pulls Hardy’s hair in front of his mouth.
“Way to call the spot Carlito!” – Eric
“Maybe he’s smelling his hair… you use Pantene.. dat is cool” – Me
Jeff Hardy fights out… again….. hits a backelbow and a ddt. Reverse neckbreaker. Two count from Jeff. This match is just not good, sadly.
Jeff hits other things – and goes for the Senton, but the knees go up! Carlito rolls him for his own pin and gets two. He’s annoyed now. He grabs Jeff’s leg, arranges him… hits the second rope rolling thunder.. hits the moonsault.. goes for the pin.. two!
He goes now for the backcracker – Jeff tries to fight out of it – and now Carlito hits the second rope again for a crossbody and MISSES… hits the Twissss-no – thrown into the corner – Whisper In THe Wind! Pin! One! Two! NO!
“Curbstomps him! He won’t DIE!” – Me
Goes up to the top for the Senton again – but Carlito runs in to have him fall to the corner…. Carlito continues to punch him and now climbs up and goes for a rana…. but drops Carlito instead! HITS THE SENTON!
WINNER: JEFF HARDY
We get a history of what DX has done… and Edge & Orton…
ARE YOU READY?!?!?! The 9:00 Spot? Weird.
“Is that sign in the back supposed to look cyber-y?” – Eric
“Shyber!” – Me
“Yeah it looks .. not Shybery…” – Eric
“If by Cyber they mean Tandy 180” – Michael
DX plays with the crowd for awhile. Finally asking the audience to ‘shhh’ which they won’t do. He tells us to let’s get ready to suck it.
“They always get ready.. but never actually do it..” – Michael
MARIA!!!! She voted for Mister McMahon… so she doesn’t get fiiirredd… bouncy bouncy.
So who is the guest ref:
ERIC BISCHOFF
THE COACH
VINCE MCMAHON
..winner is…
ERIC BISCHOFF! Nice.
Shawn dances along to Bischoff’s music.
DEGENERATION X vs. ORTON & EDGE
THIS MATCH BRINGS CONTROVERSY!
And..
“HEY! Hey HEEEYYYY!” – Bill
“Hey?” – Jeffrey
“Hey.” – Me
I THINK YOU KNOW ME!
“Where’s his slut?” – Dani
“In the back, gargling saltwater..” – Michael
“No, she’s..” – Bill
“Rehinging her jaw” – Michael
SIGN OF THE NIGHT: ‘PS3 LINE STARTS HERE’
Bell rings. Shawn starts with Edge.
So they fight on the ropes – and Shawn rolls Edge up real quick for two.
“Good to see Triple H not working with Edge again.” – Hernandez
So the roll-up exposes Edge’s butt. They fight in the corner and push out and Shawn hits a drop toe old. Trips is standing on the top turnbuckle – but instead of leaping off – he hops down and comes in to kick Edge.
“Still not working with Edge” – Bill
Trips now punches the hell out of Edge. He gets thrown to Orton for the tag and now Orton beats the hell outta Randy instead!
Trips brings Orton to the corner and a tag to Shawn. Orton throws Shawn to the corner and eats a boot instead. Tag to Trips again and more beatings. Orton gets a knee in the gut of Trips and runs over for a tag to Edge and now it’s doubleteam beatings! Edge hits a backbreaker and a tag to Orton. Beating Trips in the corner.
“Hey! Bischoff’s reffing” – Bill
“Hey! There’s a match” – Michael
Tag to Edge with HUnter in the corner. He continues punching on Trips. Throws Trips to the corner, reversed and as Edge charges in, Hunter hits the high knee and the hot tag to Trips!
Edge throws him to the ropes and the shouldercheck – the nip-up – the atomic drop. Orton runs in and gets the atomic drop. Trips floors Orton and Shawn climbs up and hits the elbowdrop!
He’s doing the Tatanka Dance!
“Tatanka Buffalo!” – Jeffrey
J E S U S C —Orton grabs his legs— pulls him down and wraps him in the pole.
“Right in the Barabbas” – Michael
Edge goes for a pin for two and then gets off the tag to Orton. Punches continue to drop Shawn as he fights to go to Trips…. but he keeps getting floored by punches to the face. Tag to Edge as Orton chokes out on Shawn.
Bischoff continues to play it right down the middle, and being ignorant of all things going on behind his back. Edge hits a front facelock for a bit.. and now Shawn fights to get to Trips……. sooo close… sooooo close. Edge leaps for a sunset flip. For two!
Back to their feet Shawn charges and eats a STIFF boot to the face.
“Shawn’s gonna need knee surgery” – Bill
Edge tags in Orton.. dropkick for two. Chinlock. Shawn fights to his feet. Chopfest from Shawn – but Orton GRABS Shawn and hits the v3.0… Shawn his rolling on his head.
“He’s gonna make it to the turnbuckle just doing THAT!” – Hernandez
Tag to Edge and he is setting up the spear!
“Edge is gonna get bored!” – Bill
Edge charges!
Shawn moves!
Bischoff dies!
“And Bischoff coughs up Damian!” – Michael
Now both men are unconscious in the ring.
“They are both out… so is the ref… why are they waiting for a tag?’ – Jeffrey
Trips and Orton finally get tagged… and Trips knees Orton. Edge runs in and HE eats a facebuster. Spinebuster to Orton! Kick Wham — -SPEARED-
Shawn throws Edge over the top.
“Kinda lame” – Bill
Plancha over the top.
“Not anymore!” – Me
“Less Lame!” – Bill
Orton sizes up Trips in the ring and hits the RKO! Hits the pin…… Fake ref rolls in and gets TWO! Orton is upset.
“I could be shitting in a bag!” – Bill
Orton sets up Trips again – this time he gets pushed into a superkick! Trips goes for the pin…. He got it – but Bischoff beats down the NEW ref!!!! Shawn sees this and he’s a touch upset.
WHAM! Edge hits Shawn with a chair! No DQ!
Kick Wham — CHAIR FROM ORTON! RKO ONTO THE CHAIR! (Albeit he took most of the chair… shhhhh) He gets the pin. That’s it!
WINNER: RKO & EDGE
“DX is dead!” – Lawler
“You can’t kill a faction.” – Eric
“Yes you can.. Bischoff did. It was called NWO..” – Me
So Orton & Edge leave with Bischoff.
In the back – Orton & Edge are celebrating.. Lita shows up and she’s going off to win the world.
“Alright – Edge, show me where her bag is..” – Me
So Todd interrupts them – and they yell at him for awhile. It’s apparently a new era on Raw….
“Yeah.. it’s like …. Degeneration.. Y” – Michael
So here come the divas!
“Slut Squad!” – Michael
So here come all the girls.. from all of the shows.
“I can’t tell the difference between all of them” – Dani
So here comes Mickie James!
Here comes Lita!
So Maria now is discussing what kind of match:
NO DQ
DIVA LUMBERJACK
SUBMISSION
..winner is….
DIVA LUMBERJACK MATCH
“And it’s a good thing that they are all standing outside the ring..” – Dani
MICKIE JAMES vs. LITA
Lita kicks Mickie in the James and she throws her to the outside… where she is beat up and thrown in. Mickie charges her. Thesz Press and some fists.
Back on their feet. Sideheadlock from Mickie and she’s slammed down by Lita. Mickie charges in and gets booted down. Headlock from Lita. Lita goes to hit the ropes, but Mickie grabs her legs. Hits an armdrag.
Lita grabs Mickie and throws her down repeatedly. Kicks Mickie in the corner. Goes for a pin for two.
Lita headslams Mickie into the corner… Mickie reverses it, but Lita gets one last good one in. Chokes Mickie against the ropes.
“Trish Stratus is somewhere eating doritos and watching – laughing her ass off.” – Michael
Mickie runs in and tries to do a rana – but ends up in a tiltawhirl screw-up.
Lita leaps onto her back now.. sleeper… Mickie drops back.
“TAZMISSION!” – Eric
Mickie reverse it into a headscissors… Lita grabs the ropes with her feet. Lita now stomps on Mickie but she catches her foot – single leg takedown. Lita pushes Mickie to the corner, but she wraps her legs around and flips her over outside and heads out herself.
They get some lumberjack beat-up action…. and tossed in as if it never happened. Mickie now charges Lita in the corner – raises her hand for the Stratusfaction – but ends up flubbing HORRIBLE and Lita does her best to save it…. or at least her skull.
Anyway – Lita hits the high end DDT and wins. The end. We’re sick of this show.
WINNER: LITA
In the back – Spirit Squad. Kenny calls them all losers.
They almost get into a fist fight. They then decide that they will be friends during the match.
“BFF!” – Michael
Here comes Flair!
“WOOO!” – Bill
Maria ‘woos’ and struts… god I love her.
In the back we find out:
SGT. SLAUGHTER
ROWDY RODDY
DUSTY RHODES
“He looks like Sloth!” – Michael
…winner is….
It’s Piper BABY!!!!!!
RIC FLAIR & RODDY PIPER vs. SPIRIT SQUAD
Ittssss HOOoooot ROOOOooodddd!
Piper is a bit…. umm…. fat….. wow……. god that hurts.
So here comes Dusty & Sgt. Slaughter!
“Are they going to be guest commentators?” – Michael
“We would understand nothing!” – Eric
In the ring Ric with Kenny. Lock up – Flair goes to the ropes and gets checked down. Finally back and forth on the ropes with Kenny. Armdrag and sideheadlock. Ric shoulderchecks and Kenny dropkicks.
Kenny tags in Mikey and Flair tags in Ric.
“Thanks for the waist up camera.” – Hernandez
“Roddy is now surly..” – Michael
In the corner Roddy bites Mikey and then beats down on all the Spirit Squad as they come up to the top apron. He hits the sleeper on Mikey, but Kenny runs in to stop it. Then the tag from Mikey to Kenny and now the beatdown.
Mikey gets a tag in. They continue to beat down Piper. They hold him while the tag to Kenny and double axe! Pin for two as Kenny drags him right into the corner. Knee into the back.
Finally Roddy gets the tag to Ric. They start to clear out! Double clothesline. Double suplex. Flair now catches the figure four – but Kenny legdrops him from across the ring.
Piper runs in and beats down Kenny! I honestly have no idea what the hell is going on. I am apologizing as we really are more enjoying our damnselves and not the show.
I look back up and Flair AGAIN hits the leglock! Wait a sec.. did they just win the tag belts?!
In run the SS to beat down…. Now Slaughter and Dusty come on in and clear house….
WINNER: RIC & RODDY
In the back Booker wants to join together to beat on Big Show.
He agrees to join Booker’s Kingdom if he can have a night with the Queen.
Sharmel blows up on this – and Book throws her out… then agrees!
Cena then renegotiates…. smart man.
Ron Simmons interrupts this all to — “DAMN”
Now it’s time for the main event.
WWE TITLE
WORLD TITLE
ECW TITLE
..winner is…
BOOKER T!!!!
BOOKER T vs. BIG SHOW vs. JOHN CENA
His Time Is Now..
“And somewhere… DAMN!” – Bill
Cena floors Booker.
Booker floors Cena.
Now Show headbutting Cena.
Show now beats down on Cena for awhile.
“It is not my fault I am the biggest and the strongest. I don’t even work out” – Michael
“I am so used to fighting in groups…” – Me
Show continuing to smash down Cena. Body slam. Choppity Chop. Knee smash. Cena TRIES to fight back but continues to be beaten until finally he leans over the top rope to grab Cena who has bailed.. and he gets axe kicked by a waiting Booker.
In the ring Book rails on Show, but Big Show headbutts him and that ends that.
“Wow, Show looks like he hasn’t gotten a night’s sleep.” – Michael
“He’s been like that since he started ECW” – Bill
“That’s probably guilt keeping him up.” – Michael
Sideslam for two – as Cena stops it. Cena now beats down on Book… he gets pushed down and now Show continues to beat down and headbutt everyone.
Finally Book and Cena double clothesline him over the top. Book turns and punches Cena. Book goes for a clothesline. Ducked. Cena kicks Book in the gut, but gets tossed to the outside where Big Show is waiting to punch him in the face. He goes to grab the stairs and gets tripped down face first onto it.
“Ooo it’s soo nice and cold.” – Bill
In the ring – Cena eats a bookend. A side kick. Two count. Now fist to fist. Book ends up throwing a hotshot onto Cena’s arm. Hits a superkick for two. Sideslam for two.
Cena gets tossed to the ropes – and he kicks Book into the gut. He shoulderchecks Book down. TWO count. Now they fight at the top again. Book gets a belly lock – and as Cena gets out of it – hits the sideslam – and now Cena goes to the top for a flying crossbody.. that misses.
Pin for two.
Book now gets to his feet and sets up for the axe-kick. He misses – gets put into the FU…. Book gets out.. hits a DDT!
Book goes for a slam! Cena reverses and drops it into the STFU – but Book is right on the ropes. Cena turns around and heads to Book only to get poked in the eye. Book goes for the big leg – but he eats a clothesline or two. Book in the corner and Cena follows up with a clothesline and suplex.
Cena now going for a superplex with Book – but here comes Big Show – right under him. Book DROPKICKS Cena off Show’s shoulders. Book goes to pin Show – but gets tossed off. Now all three standing… and Book & Cena go for a clothesline. Nope.
“ebony.. and ivvvory..” – Bill
“Get slammed in perfect harmony” – Michael
Show suplexes both of them and throws Cena into the corner. Throws Book into Cena. THen charges into both. Then hits the ropes and double shouldercheck. Chokeslams Book! Show spears Cena and they both go to the outside! Show slams Cena’s head outside….
Show removes the announce table lid.
“And the Spanish Announce table feels relieved” – Jenna
Cena stops from being slammed down onto it – fights out of it and slams Show down onto the table. Cena runs into the ring and ducks Book’s clothesline. Shoulderchecks. Double clothesline. Blue thunder. You Can’t See Me. He hits the second rope and BOOTS a chair that Show was holding… owwie! Kicks him in the face.
Cena goes for the FU on Book – Sharmel runs in with the belt and SHE gets the FU instead… Behind that, as the ref is checking on Sharmel, Cena hits the STFU and Book taps… but nobody notices. Kevin Federline runs in and hits him with the belt.
Nope… I’m not kidding…
Cena takes NO heat off the hit from K-Fed, just to stand up and chase him, but ends up getting belt-shotted by Booker….
WINNER: BOOKER T
K-Fed remains in the ring as Cena is completely knocked out.
“Can I go and kill him with a paperclip?” – Michael
So yeah… let’s find out what people thought…
“I really enjoyed it until K-Fed came out. I do at least like the Shyber idea.” – Jeffrey
“..it was alright. I liked the DX bit…” – Jenna
“Having seen Federline, I want him in a room with a box of paperclips” – Michael
“I liked to think Shawn found his smile on the 3rd superkick” – Hernandez
“It was a lot better than most of the recent ppvs” – Eric
“Spirit Squad finally sporting spirit fingers..” – Bill (whatever that means)
“I hated this show. I thought it was boring as hell and sloppy as shit.” – Me
So I seem counter point to everyone tonight. Write us on the forums and tell us what you think!
Thanks everyone – that’s the Rabble – see you tomorrow night.
