It was a sad day in ABC-land. Mario Lopez, Emmitt Smith and Joey Lawrence headed into the night as the final 3. All likable. All good dancers. All scored perfect 10’s from the judges, who were giving them out like jell-o shots. However, one must go. But not before bringing back former Dancing stars to shamelessly self promote the upcoming “Dancing with the Stars Tour”. And not before the Casio keyboard and synthesizer duo, Pet Shop Boys, performed their 80’s hit “West End Girls”. Which, by the way, prompted me to ask if it was live or was it Memorex?
This elimination show wasn’t an easy prediction like a Britney/K-Fed divorce. Anyone could’ve gone home tonight. Maybe Mario flashed his dimples and put a spell on viewers to pick up the phone and vote for him. Maybe Emmitt got the guys-who-love-football male audience to vote”¦ uh, DeeDee, there IS no male audience”¦ ok”¦ maybe Emmitt used his finesse and charm to get the vote. Wait, isn’t Finesse the black guy on SNL? What does he have to do with voting? Ok, I’m getting away”¦and I’m back. And maybe Joey blinded people with his bald head? I have no idea what happened. All I know is that Joey was eliminated. In a sailor costume. That he gets to keep. Where was that gay vote? Now, the question is, would Joey have gone farther if he had his hair? Or dimples? Or a few Super Bowl championships under his cumber-bun? No, he just needed more votes. Kind of like the Republicans in the Senate.
Next week. Super Mario vs. Super Bowl Emmitt.
