What, you missed the first four hourse of 24? Don’t worry, they’ve got a DVD coming out today so there’s no need to panic…
– Previously, Jack bit someone to death.
– Fayed has a new demand. He wants the U.S. to release 110 alleged terrorists. Why so many? Well, we’ll see soon enough.
– Curtis doesn’t like Good Terrorist Bashir. I guess we’ll find out why soon enough.
– Kumar decides to take Scott back to his house and sends Ray to make the drop while Mom bandages Kumar up. Scott grabs a knife that ends up making no difference whatsoever.
– Meanwhile, Sandra and Walid end up in an internment camp detention facility (can Executive Order 9066 be reenacted?), where Sandra gets released thanks to being the President’s sister and all, while Walid tries to help a fellow Islam-American out and ends up getting interrogated as a result.
– Jack and Good Terrorist Bashir do a heck of a job teaming up and tracking Bad Terrorist Who Didn’t Blow Up Last Hour to a storage center. With a lot of C4. And a Laptop.
– Unfortunately, the “crack” CTU task force manages to get spotted, so BTWDBULH pulls out a grenade and blows himself up real good.
– Still, they discover that Fayed intends to set off a suitcase nuke (the last one of it’s kind), as one of the terrorists is also a nuclear scientist.
– The scientist? Shaun Majumder a.k.a. that guy from This Hour Has 22 Minutes a.k.a. Kumar’s brother, who they’ve been zooming in on constantly when showing the prisoners. Yeah, I’m shocked as well. He manages to escape with the help of a rogue sergeant.
– You know, I think the rogue sergeant who helped Majumder escape played a bad guy in season two… or was it three?
– Ray drops off the package, which turns out to be cash, to Some Guy who wants more in exchange for a Vital Computer Component. So Ray improvises and smashes the guy’s brains in. If you didn’t think that Ray was a Dead Man Walking by this point (and I said as much to my wife the moment we saw him saving Kumar from a beating) I’m sure you do now. Ray gets sent to drop the package off to Fayed, and somehow he thinks that he’ll get out of this alive.
– Good Terrorist Bashir gets a full pardon, which pisses Curtis off more, so Jack places a call to Chloe to find out what’s up.
– Walid is finding out information from other people in the internment camp detention facility, which I suppose is meant to reveal two things: the government has managed to capture potential terrorists in an ass backward manner; and African-American Muslims = good.
– Regardless, Sandra comes back to the internment camp detention facility and Walid relays what he heard to her, telling her to tell the authorities and to stop being a lawyer, dammit.
– Milo and Morris are bitchy with one another. Turns out that Milo dated Chloe, probably during Season 2 (when neither was a cast member), but Chloe chose Morris. She was better off with Spenser, to be honest.
– Jack, Bashir, Curtis and a “crack” CTU task force go to Ray’s house and rescue Scott, but manage to kill Kumar in the process. Fortunately, Scott remembered the address Kumar sent Ray to, and it’s in Valencia, which I think is at the edge or just outside of the Greater Los Angeles Area. Another “crack” CTU team gets sent to raid the place.
– Ah, so Assad beheaded some of Curtis’ men during the Gulf War. That explains why Curtis is uncharacteristically irrational today. And why he’s got a gun pointed at Assad’s head. And Jack… is ready to shoot him? Nah, he’d never…
– OH MY GOD, JACK KILLED CURTIS! YOU BASTARD!
– Well, he’s feeling some remorse, at least. Don’t know about Buchanan though. You’d think he’d show something for Curtis. I mean, sure, Jack’s your #1 guy when he’s not getting tortured by the Chinese or faking death or working with the Secretary of Defence, but without Curtis you’re probably stuck with Rick “Don’t Call Me Ricky” Schroeder, and we all know that’s it’s just a small step away from Zack Morris being the number two field agent.
– Once again, the “crack” CTU task force manages to get spotted, which results in Kumar’s brother setting off the nuke. Poor Ray.
– With respect to the explosion, Shaun Majumder is from Newfoundland. Insert a joke here if you so desire.
– Walid’s message gets to CTU, and apparently it tells the team that there are four more suitcase nukes out there. Which I assume the terrorists have already programmed, seeing as the scientist that knew how to program them just blew himself (and everyone within a half-mile radius) up.
– The final word goes to forum poster hardygrrl: “Nice job, terrorists. Not only is Jack Bauer alive, free, and pissed off he also has a taste for blood and has just been dosed with gamma rays.”
