Welcome back to The SMonday Swindle Sheet.
I’ve been hearing so much about this band Hinder that I figured I’d listen to a few songs. Looking at the band I was expecting something along the lines of Buckcherry, which I may have actually sort of liked. However, the official statement vis-Ã -vis Hinder is:
It was snooze the first time I heard them, when they were Lifehouse.
What a f*cking yawner. God, people… I guess it beats listening to screamocore or Southern rap, but this genre of blah-rock with the obligatory raspy-voiced singer (see, e.g., The Calling, Nickelback, Switchfoot, The Fray, et al.) is essentially the most mediocre thing in music. It’s not particularly offensive, but it’s not good either. It should stop, but not before the aforementioned genres. It’s just sort of there. It doesn’t bring anything new to the table. It’s bland and it’s okay with that. It’s like the musical equivalent of Miller Lite: it’s not horrible, it’s not good, it’s rather insipid, and chicks and idiot frat boys both love it for whatever reason. My analogies kick ass.
BLURBS OF THE WEEK
After finally giving in to Zack de la Rocha‘s incessant voice messages on how he wants to “relive the glory days” and is “still working on getting that solo album out”, members of Audioslave have decided to give Chris Cornell a little vacation in order to temporarily reform Rage Against the Machine for this year’s eighth annual Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival. Other scheduled headliners for the event, taking place April 27-29 in Indo, Calif., are the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Björk, while the extended roster includes Crowded House, Sonic Youth, Willie Nelson, The Roots, Jarvis Cocker, Arctic Monkeys, The Arcade Fire, Placebo, The Black Keys, Kings of Leon, Amy Winehouse, The Decemberists and The Kaiser Chiefs. After I had finished this paragraph, my friend happened to be passing by, and caught of a glimpse of the screen. He checked out the roster for Coachella, and said, “Hey, that’s great… but who are The Kaiser Chefs?” I replied, “Great googly moogly,” and made the fix. You either get it or you don’t.
Texas Gov. Rick Perry is catching heat from fellow politicos on both sides after allowing his friend, rocker and fellow republican Ted Nugent, to perform at his inaugural gala last Tuesday. Those in attendance were shocked as Nugent, who appeared as the final act of the event, strutted out onto the stage wearing a sleeveless shirt bearing a Confederate flag image and flailing around machine guns, while making offensive remarks aimed at non-English speakers. While a spokesperson for the governor downplayed the incident by noting that Perry and Nugent were very good friends, and because of that Perry hadn’t put any stipulations on Nugent’s performance, Republican strategist Royal Masset chastised everyone involved. “I think it was a horrible choice,” he told reporters. “I hope nobody approved it.” Luckily for the governor, this was part of his inaugural ball, and not a campaigning event. All the while, those of us who will certainly never be cardholding members of the Good Ol’ Party are wondering where Nugent was when Bush was trying to get elected.
After having finished a three-month stint at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, Calif., country singer Keith Urban checked himself out this past week. On his Web site, he thanked his fans and his wife, Nicole Kidman, for their support in helping him successfully get through his alcohol abuse treatment. Earlier in the week, Kidman had told reporters for The SMonday Swindle Sheet, in an EXCLUSIVE interview, that “even if [Urban] isn’t fully successful in his rehab, I’ll still love him, and his being an abusive cokehead drunk still isn’t as bad as being a Scientologist.”
Denny Doherty, of the ’60s pop quartet The Mama and the Papas, died on Friday at his home in Mississauga, Ontario, just outside of Toronto. Doherty had battled a short but undisclosed illness. He was 66.
Korn has announced that they will be having yet another Family Values Tour late this summer, although they did not say what other bands would be involved. … In other Korn-related news, to fill the position temporarily vacated by David Silveria, the band has acquired 56-year-old drummer Terry Bozzio, who has worked with Steve Vai and Richard Marx. I’m not really sure what I think about this.
A little-known electronic producer from Finland, named Janne Suni, has posted a video on YouTube alleging that producer/rapper Timbaland aped a 2000 track of his and rehashed it for a track on Nelly Furtado‘s 2006 album, Loose. On the video, Suni plays Furtado’s “Do It” side-by-side with his own “Acidjazzed Evening”, showing that the two are almost identical, then layering one over the other as they sound like one song. While representatives for Timbaland have not yet commented on the allegations, former Timbaland counterpart Magoo told reporters for The SMonday Swindle Sheet, in an EXCLUSIVE interview, “I don’t much talk to Tim anymore, but this is what he gets for ditching me and trying to get all the spotlight for himself. Now, was that the regular mayo or the lowfat mayo that you wanted on your Subway Club?”
Drummer Travis Barker announced this past week that he would not be performing with band (+44) during their current European tour because he contracted herpes from Paris Hilton and said it would be too uncomfortable having to drum throughout an entire set with an itching, burning sack. He has instead returned to Los Angeles to receive treatment. I may or may not have gotten all of those facts correct, and Barker may have actually been ailing from a broken arm. However, we still haven’t received a confirmation on either story.
Cheers
-JF2k7!
