SKTV – Prison Break, 24

Oh man, President Logan is back, and he’s got a BEARD. I have no idea why it would be a bad thing, but it can only mean more bad things ahead. Is the beard working for the Russians? Is the third nuke hidden in it? Did it secretly conceive Jack’s half-brother with Mama Bauer 30 years ago and only now is the terrifying secret revealed? WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR, BEARD? Ahem. Anyway, Papa Bauer continues to reinforce his reputation as not only the most hideously evil and wretched old man on TV, but also the fastest, judging by how easily he escaped Jack after threatening to shoot him. You have to respect that kind of ninja-like stealth in the elderly, much like you have to respect the alcohol-sniffing abilities of Chloe and Milo, despite the curiously strong mints taken by Morris immediately after swigging half a bottle of single-malt whiskey. He might be a computer engineer, but common sense is not his strong point. Jack of course wins the awesomest of the awesome award this week for not only killing two of his father’s men when Milo wasn’t man enough to do it himself, but then having to choke a bitch right after saving her. Talk about tough love. I wonder if he yelled out “WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?” while conceiving Josh with her in the throes of passion that night? I’d like to think “Yes”.

Over on Prison Break, the promos did the old “If you only watch one episode…” thing, but really it was just a plot-driving episode and not a murdering-characters episode like the last few have been. Nice to see the T-Bag story given a nice end to it so he can move on, and hey, at least Sucre has been reunited with his stupido fiancee who should have dumped his ass months ago, so he can ride off into the sunset if he wants. Best moment of the show for me was Michael and Linc demonstrating their differing methods in dealing with conflict when faced with Kim: Michael tries to run him over with a car, whereas Linc just beats him into a bloody pulp like the meathead that he is. And although Kellerman has certainly grown into a kinder, gentler asshole than he was earlier this year, it was still poetic justice for the Getaway Gang to screw him over at the last minute and leave him on the run alone. By the way, I’m registering my guess here first: Pope didn’t just listen to the MP3 when he borrowed that guy’s computer, he uploaded it somewhere else so that when Linc inevitably screws up and loses it to the Company, there’ll be a backup copy for them to find. And poor C-Note, what a lunkhead. I guess that having a dying kid with you makes you think less clearly than you should, but if ever there’s a time NOT to trust Mahone, it’s when you’re at your weakest point. He’s so gonna get shot in the head after giving whatever info he’s got.

Sir Linksalot: 24
Sir Linksalot: Prison Break

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