Very Bad News

Bad News Brown passed away today. My parents held my tenth birthday party at the Nassau Coliseum for a WWF event. Me and about 15 friends went into a back room for cake and ice cream, and all of my friends received an autographed picture of Macho Man Randy Savage. I was special. I got an autographed picture of Hulk Hogan. He was my favorite wrestler, I think he was everybody’s favorite wrestler when we were 10.

It was a fun little card. The Fabulous Rougeaus lost to the Rockers in a 30 minute Ironman match. We got to dance with Junkyard Dog, but he really flipped out when a guy brought a beer into the ring. Then it was time for Hulk Hogan to fight Bad News Brown. Bad News came to the ring and waited for Hogan to make his 3 minute long entrance. I was waving my picture of Hogan like crazy. Hogan finally entered the ring and started doing his shirt ripping bit, turning his back on Bad News. Bad News Brown calmly took this opportunity to Ghetto Kick Hogan, smile about it, and leave the ring and head for the back.

I dropped my picture of Hogan. I didn’t throw it on the floor or anything, I just let go of it. The rest of the crowd and all of my friends were booing or chanting for Hogan. I turned to my mom and dad and said, “I want a picture of that guy!”

It’s my favorite memory of professional wrestling. It was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen done in a ring. To totally disrespect Hulk Hogan in his prime was cooler than all of Steve Austin’s antics combined. He was the very definition of before his time, and he should be getting paid royalties from all of the wrestlers who have ripped off his act in recent years.

God Bless Bad News Brown. I bet he’s up in Heaven right now Ghetto Kicking Jesus.

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