Pardon The Pulse

Well. If this hasn’t been an interesting few days in the world of sports or what. Don Imus insulted some alleged “nappy headed hos.” A-Rod is having a monster season in New York…wow! Oh wait; there are still 155 games more to go?? Nevermind then!

I’m going to jump right into it this week because we do have six topics on tap since the new NFL conduct policy came out after we had already picked our topics for the week so we simply threw it at the end. And we also get damn wordy in this one, so just get to reading and hope you enjoy it everyone. Oh and my birthday is Sunday the 15th…so people, send me gifts.

I’m serious.

If no-one does, I’m going to let Chuckles talk more then he already does and I know no-one likes that. Oh that’s another thing; we decided to go to our real names so Danny (me) is the one you used to know as Spaulding, Charles Joseph is Chuckles, and Paulie is…well, Paulie. You have to admit, it was rather retarded using pseudonyms and we thought you may take us all a bit more seriously. Stop laughing and please…

1.) Don Imus Vs. Rutgers Women’s Basketball Team

Paulie: Grrr! Gnash! Argh! RAGE! At least, that’s what the media and Al Sharpton say I should be feeling about this. But… I just can’t. Him and his crew quoted some stuff from a Spike Lee movie and attributed it to the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team. Was it a stupid joke? Yeah. Was it unwise to say? Probably. Is it worth all this hoopla? Hells no. If this had been Steve Harvey making the remark you’d have never heard a peep out of it. If it had been Howard Stern, you’d have heard about it but it would just be “Howard being Howard”. But since this was an old, white, cowboy wannabe, it’s an outrage and he should be fired. It’s freakin ridiculous.

Look, people are going to talk. Sometimes the mouth outpaces the brain. Sometimes what is funny in your head isn’t quite as funny in execution. Sometimes you will be offended by what was said. You know what? GET OVER IT! CNN just showed a press conference with the Rutgers team. Every one of those girls got up and read a prepared, typed statement. Not one of them spoke from the heart. They robotically read a manuscript that was more than likely written by the school or some speech writer. Makes you wonder if you spoke to each one individually away from the cameras what they REALLY think of all of it, if they even really thought anything of it at all.

Which brings me roundaboutly to the worst part of it for me. The people complaining about it wouldn’t even know anything was said if someone hadn’t told them about it. Much like Brent Bozell and his PTC, specific inflammatory segments get picked out and spread around like wildfire so that everyone forgets what the context was of the line’s original speaking. People who listen to Imus have probably ALWAYS listened to Imus. They know what he’s about. They probably got a chuckle out of the line. Now, if you don’t like what the guy says, I guess you have two options. Boycott his show, never listen to him again. Or, bitch and moan and call for his head even though what he said is really nothing in the grand scheme of things and let him lay low for about 6 months before someone else inevitably hires him because he’s been in the business over 30 years and has an automatic audience that likes his show and will listen to him no matter where he is.

Grr! Gnash! Argh! RAGE! Well, not rage. Cause that would be stupid. But there is surely frustration with Rev. Sharpton and his constant harping on piddly little crap. Tell ya what, REVEREND, the man apologized, but you refuse to forgive and keep seeking more blood. But I ask Reverend, really, what WOULD Jesus do?

Charles Joseph: I agree with ya Paulie. (See how I can do that…agree with you by waiting until the person ahead has done his piece) This is getting blown completely out of proportion. And…I’m probably an asshole for this…but the first time I heard the comments…I kinda laughed. Just the thought of some old white guy saying Nappy Hoes is amusing to me. I see why it’s a big hoopla, but I always find it interesting that it’s always the African Americans who bring this kind of stuff up. It’s almost like they just want the controversy. Whites when this kind of thing happen just look at it, say “What a dumbass” and move on, and most of them probably didn’t even think of it racially. I know I didn’t. Sometimes I think the only racist people left in the country are the African Americans. If they wouldn’t have turned it into a big hoopla, it wouldn’t have been one. And what good comes of this? He’s been suspended for 2 weeks? He’ll probably watch his tongue a little closer for a few months, but after that, what world altering change is making a big deal out of this going to bring? I’d say there’s a good chance it’s none. The week leading up to the Anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in professional sports should be used to see how far America has come since then, not focusing on some “Nappy Hos”

Danny: Oh this pisses me off beyond belief. Especially since I’ve been watching the Rutgers press conference and all that crap while I’ve been out of work sick. The head coach of the team said something that made me think. She said that nothing could break their spirit or insult them if they didn’t let it. Then why the hell are yall having a press conference about it?? Shut up and go home! Oh wait I’m sorry. Since you have so much to say from the heart since you were all so deeply hurt, then continue to say so…by reading from your prepared statements on paper. Wow, how long did it take all of you to come up with enough things to make sure you didn’t just start spouting off and that you’re Socrates or something. I’m not saying they are dumb at all, but my God just speak without having to prepare something.

There are worse comments said on the radio everyday about every race, gender, religion, nationality, and then some and no-one speaks up about it. Imus said his comments and they were talked about. MSNBC said they don’t condone what he says, but give that disclaimer everyday. There was nothing else said about it all. Two days later, Al Frickin Sharpton opens his big ass mouth and holy hell now Jesse Jackson and the NAACP is in on this whole thing and Imus is suspended for two weeks and now his simulcast has been dropped by MSNBC. Go look at your own race and tell them something for using discriminatory remarks against each other.

Hey Paulie…you’re a honkey! Get mad at me since we’re both white. I’m not joking, I’m serious. I wish more people would make huge ass stinks about their own races and stop looking at everything having to be a racial thing. Did anyone else notice there are white girls on the Rutgers team too? Anyone?

I am not a racist by any means but this has gotten blown so far out of proportion that it angers me. If Howard Stern had said the comment and people got all over him, he’d say “Look Robin isn’t insulted and she’s black, so it’s ok!” Be consistent for the love of God and let the old man back on the air to do his job. And one more thing, I have listened to Don Imus’ show before and I can’t stand him. I don’t like his voice, his work, or anything he does; so don’t go thinking I’m defending him or anything.

Bring on the hate mail for us all!

2.) The Masters

Danny: When it got to the last round and not a single person was under par, I began to wonder if I was watching the amateur circuit. I know my ass can’t do any better but come on people. No-one was doing a damn thing worthy of professional golf, let alone the MASTERS!

Not Masthers, but Masters. That’s for Hatton!

What bothers me most about this whole thing is that Zach Johnson won and all that’s on every sports writers’ pen tip is “is Tiger’s career over?” Oh…My…A-GOD! Are you seriously asking that question when the most prolific golfer in all of history has simply didn’t win the Masters for the fifth time in ten years? Get a grip you shitheads and give Johnson his credit. The guy came out of nowhere and is now moving up the leaderboard like crazy because he got the green jacket and deservedly so. He played the best overall and it showed. I also hated that all we heard for the entire last round was how Tiger has never won a major when trailing going into the final round. Make up some more worthless stats while you’re at it.

Tiger has never won a major tournament when Verne Lundquist didn’t call the 15th hole in the 2nd round on a rainy day while a fat woman ate a chili dog. CAN HE DO IT? Congratulations to Zach Johnson and I hope this skyrockets him to many more pro victories.

Paulie: Wow, man, I don’t watch golf, but I at least follow along with the Masters. I kept waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for someone, ANYONE, but especially Tiger to make a move. But it just wasn’t happening. Was it the weather? Was it the course this year? A mix of both? I’m sure putting on what was probably the equivalent of a sheet of glass was no picnic. But it gave way to what every sports fan loves: The rise of the underdog. Zach Johnson. You probably won’t remember the name past the next couple weeks, because he’ll probably never win another tournament. But for one day, he was on top of the world, the best golfer on Earth, even for just a day. Congratulations Mr. Johnson, enjoy it while you can.

Charles Joseph: I didn’t watch much of it, but what I did watch I was rooting for Tiger. Watching him on the final tee box, right before he looked like he was about to cry, I was half expecting him to unleash his full potential and bomb one to the green. Then when that didn’t happen, I fully expected him to knock the shot at least close to the pin and seeing him miss by that much was surprising. Spaulds is right; Tiger’s career is far from over. He’s still got 10-15 majors to win, this just wasn’t his weekend. The course was impossibly hard, no rain, high winds, cold temps. Can’t ask for worse conditions. And to see people anywhere near par was astounding. Congrats to Johnson, he played the best over the weekend and earned the Green Jacket.

3.) NHL Playoffs

Charles Joseph: Now it gets serious. This is how rivalries are strengthened. Wild vs. Anaheim is going to be one of those rivalries this year. Anaheim knocked Minnesota out of the playoffs the only time the wild have been in the playoffs. And it’s a first round series this year.

The east should go pretty much to script this year. Buffalo and New Jersey should easily move on, Atlanta vs. New York should be an exciting series. It will be a series between the youthful Thrashers and the cagey veteran Rangers and see which one comes out on top. Both teams have an explosive top lines, I think the Rangers have a little more scoring depth, but I think Letonhen is slightly better than Lundqvist, but neither have much for playoffs experience. This one could go seven. But I think the Thrashers move on. Sens/Pens should be a fantastic series. The Senators are trying to shake the image that they are a regular season team; they’ve had a terrible time winning a series in the playoffs. And this year they get to play the best young talent in the league. Sidney, Malkin, Staal, Fleury. All high first round picks, making their first playoffs appearance. Again, both teams have explosive top lines, although Pittsburghs top line never seems to stay the same. And Ottawa’s top line with Heatley, and Spezza is dynamic. Pittsburgh has the depth and the physical players to protect the skill guys and they move on in 6.

The west is going to be absolutely brutal. Every series should go at least 6 games, and no one would be surprised to see every series go 7 games. The flames have been, pardon the pun, hot the last few weeks and combine that with a lot of the Wings top players having terrible postseason resumes. Calgary has tons of playoff experience up and down the roster and Detroit is kind of banged up. But Detroit has the dominator. Hasek leads the wings past Calgary, but it takes 7 tries. Wild vs. Ducks, like I said earlier, I expect to be a fantastic series with TONS of emotion. The wild will be almost impossible to beat in Minnesota, so Anaheim needs to take care of business on their home ice as well. Pronger and Neids are terrific defensemen, Neids can shut down Gabby, Pronger on Rolston, then Minnesota still has Demitra, Koivu, Bouchard, Parrish, and Minnesota’s defensive style can suffocate the top line of Anaheim. Almost no doubt this one goes 7, but I have to say my Wild pull it out. Canuck/Stars is going to be another interesting match up. Canucks have never had success in the playoffs, neither has Luongo. And they get matched up against a Stars team that is always in the playoffs, and always seem to make it a few rounds. Dallas always seems like a weak team that should be an easy out, but it never plays out that way. If the Sedin twins can get their games going early, the Canucks should glide through to round 2. But it’s going to be tough. Nucks in 6. And Sharks/Preds is going to be insane. Sharks are the biggest team in the league and they have amazing young talent. Thornton, Cheechoo, Marleau, Carle. The Preds have fantastic Goaltending with Vokoun finally healthy for the playoffs. Karyia will be the key for the Preds, he has to have a huge series is the Preds want to advance; Dumont needs to step up as well. But I don’t think they have enough. San Jose wears down Nashville and takes it in 6.

Danny: HERE WE GO DUCCCKKSS HERE WE GO! {clap clap}

Paulie: Wow, 7 teams over 100 points! Colorado left out with 95 points, first time a team has ever gotten so many and still missed the playoffs. Impressive? Not really since they revamped the scoring system with the shootout and such. But the run for Lord Stanley’s Cup will probably still be the 2nd most exciting playoffs in sports as the entirety of the top seeds collectively crap their pants at lower seeds. It’s also the first time that neither team from the previous year’s finals will be in the playoffs. Which makes me sad. We really wanted to love the Hurricanes down here. But they’re making it really, really hard.

4.) Sub-Zero Baseball?

Paulie: Mmmm, chilly. I know its spring, but why schedule early April games in cities where there’s still a distinct possibility of cold and snow and the teams playing there still have no roof? The stupid Cleveland/Seattle series seriously screwed my fantasy teams last week as each of my teams seemed to have like 4-5 guys involved in those games. I’m sure it wasn’t that much, but it seemed like it. And now Cleveland gets to play Anaheim in… Milwaukee? Yes, Milwaukee, a city named for the Algonquin word, Milliwaukay meaning… Origin of Crappy Beer, or something. Of course, if the games were in Japan, those crazy bastards would be trying to run the bases in a foot of snow. But they’ve got marbles.

Charles Joseph: They used to schedule games for teams in domes and warmer cities to start off at home, but cold weather teams got cranky because if they started with 10 games on the road and went 1-9 in those games, then no one would show up for their home opener. (Someone said that during an ESPN broadcast, hell if I remember who) But that makes sense, and I think this year is just a real bad year for weather. They played games in Texas this week, which most people would call a warm weather city, but they freakishly had the 2 coldest game time temps in the history of the stadium. I just hope the Twins look at this weather and say “Hey, maybe we should put a roof on the new stadium. All these cancellations are going to make for some interesting scheduling double headers this summer.

Danny: The long road trip to start the season for outdoor teams may be hard but is it any easier to keep rescheduling shit? Play like some men and just play in the damn snow or wind!

5.) From Number One Picks To Back-Ups

Danny: This is given proof that a lot of money does not always buy talent. There are a bunch of new QB’s in the NFC South and it looks like a totally different division. In the past two seasons now we have Drew Brees, David Carr, Joey Harrington, and Jeff Garcia. ALL IN THE NFC SOUTH?? Yes indeed!

I have no real fear of Harrington because he has done nothing but under-achieve his entire career and the only way he’s getting in is if Vick goes down with an injury (PLEASE!) or Petrino gets the balls to bench him because he completes only 30% of his passes instead of the required 65%. But I think that David Carr could really compete for the starting spot in Carolina or at least step into it midway through the season. If Delhomme struggles like he did last season before his injury, I’d expect to see a switch.

Paulie: Ahh, yes, the journeys of David Carr and Joey Harrington. To be honest, Carr may not be backing up Jake in Carolina for long. If Jake can’t stop playing Steve or Nothing in the passing game this year, we’ll get to see what Carr can do with an offensive line. And I honestly believe he can be an above average/good NFL QB given proper support. Harrington on the other hand, is backing up Mike Vick who the Atlanta ownership will not allow to be benched unless he’s going to have his legs amputated. I think he’ll do well in a backup role though, without all the pressure he may FINALLY come out of his Detroit funk.

Charles Joseph: I liked the Carr signing and wished the dumbasses in charge of the Vikings would have had their combined 5 brain cells working at the time and signed him. But, he was a system QB coming out of college, almost like Colt Brennan will be next year, so who knows, maybe what happened in Houston isn’t a fluke. I would like to see him play behind a competent offensive line, almost as much as I’d like to get a competent head coach, not some bald, impotent, rat bastard. Harrington has had his chances; he had some decent receivers in Detroit and couldn’t get anything done. He was supposed to be a backup in Miami last year, and even in their offense with some good weapons, he couldn’t do anything. Could have been Saban’s fault though. I’m willing to bet he still sucks in Hotlanta too, but he won’t get a chance to prove it.

6.) Pacman Jones And Chris Henry’s Suspensions

Paulie: Word just came across the line that Pacman is now suspended for the year and Henry is out for the first half of the season. Good. It’s a shame that someone had to be made an example of, but a line has to be drawn. These guys have to learn that they are ALWAYS under the microscope. They are ALWAYS under public scrutiny. And, like it or not, they are representatives of their teams and the NFL as a whole. And with that comes the responsibility to choose your actions wisely. Pick your associates wisely. And don’t put yourself in situations where you can be implicated in anything. Conviction or no, your name is still associated with an incident and is a black mark on your employer and tarnishes public opinion of not only you, but the league as a whole. And if public opinion wanes, then so does that fat paycheck you get. The message here? STOP BEING STUPID. You’re being paid millions to play a game and entertain people. Millions of people would love to be in your shoes. Behave yourself for the few years that you actually get to play and make your fortune. Then when you retire you can be as stupid as you wanna be.

Charles Joseph: I think it’s great that they’ve both been suspended. But the players are still asking a lot of questions. Marshall Faulk and Prime Time Sanders both are wondering out loud on NFL Network what constitutes a suspension in the new NFL Policy. An arrest? A conviction? Any negative press? And how does someone who has been “convicted” on 3 separate occasions get only 8 games, while someone who has yet to be convicted of anything get a minimum of 10 games? Going by that standard, Tank Johnson should be suspended for about 4 games after serving time in prison. I think everyone is just looking for what the standards are for this new policy and right now it’s still murky. But good to see these two get sat down for awhile, and hopefully, both of their heads get on straight and they become good people on and off the field.

Danny: I saw the entire whole thing on NFL Network and ESPN and I think our new NFL Commish has just solidified himself as a damn good guy for years to come. The best part of the entire thing is that the league and the player’s union are in this agreement together. So if the stupid ass players, not all of them, think they can get away with something just by going to the union, then they are sadly mistaken. I think this is fantastic and just wish Chris Henry’s stupid ass had been suspended for the entire season as well. Pacman can appeal all he wants, but I don’t think it’s going to do any good. From what I understand, the penalties were brought down by the old conduct policy, so Pacman could go through the Player’s Union and they’d help him, but I still don’t see it going very far.

Next on the chopping block is Tank Johnson and I think he could end up with an 8-10 game suspension as well considering he is currently sitting in jail. Mr.Goodell, I applaud you. Free agency already has ruined the game I love enough as it is. I love the free agency time period in football, but it is the greed taking a lot of fun out of the NFL. I thank you for stepping in and not letting a group of bad eggs ruin the whole bunch.

Hooo boy I’m sure we got more then a few of yall pissed off this week eh? You know what to do then if you want to yell at us. But it’s not the same this week as you can e-mail each one of us individually by simply clicking on our names or going here in the forums. Spiffy eh?

I’m on vacation next week folks. Yes I am heading to Destin and leaving you all behind, but I think we’ll still get a PTP out even if it’s a shortened one since my two compadres need to work on their mock drafts for our special in two weeks. THAT MEANS GET TO WORK FELLAS!!! Hope everyone has a good week and enjoys looking at the newly released NFL schedule for next season to start planning trips and game parties.

This week’s smart ass comment comes directly from comedian Demetri Martin: You can sound so much creepier just by adding the word “ladies” to the end of everything you say.

Have a great weekend everyone and just have fun doing whatever you like doing…ladies!

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