DJ Jazzy Jeff – The Return of the Magnificent
Rapster (5/8/07)
Hip-hop / Rap
Hi, I’m Jeff, and hip-hop is still alive and well. Don’t let the sea of mediocrity—spearheaded by such hacks as Dem Franchise Boyz, Lil Jon, Yung Joc, et al.—fool you into thinking otherwise. DJ Jazzy Jeff just goes to show with this, his second full-length solo album of original material. While his buddy Will has moved on to feature films, Mr. Townes continues to stay true to the medium that made him big in the first place. If you consider yourself a fan of hip-hop (it doesn’t matter what kind), you owe it to yourself to buy this album. Compared to the original The Magnificent, which, in its own right was a good album, this one is at least twice as good. “Hold It Down” (featuring Method Man) uses a slick sample of Love Unlimited Orchestra’s “Love’s Theme”. Of course, it doesn’t stop there, as we’re treated to a hefty set full of good-as-gold beats and cameos by artists like Posdnous of De La Soul, J-Live, Big Daddy Kane, CL Smooth, Kardinal Offishall and Rhymefest (I commend Jazz for eschewing the usuals like Kanye West and 50 Cent, especially since they would have been all about it, had he asked). I could play “She Was So Flyy” (featuring the aforementioned Kardinal Offishall) on a continuous loop and I don’t think I’d get tired of it. And you can never go wrong with Big Daddy Kane, as “The Garden” is probably the best Kane cameo since Marley Marl’s “Three’s Company”. Buy this now. Now.
Hi, I’m the ghost of Tupac Shakur. Yes, the ghost, which means that… yes, I am dead. Seriously, those of you who think I’m still alive sipping tropical drinks in Curaçao need to get your heads out of your asses. Do you really think that if I were alive I would have been able to sit back while they put me on a track with Chamillionaire? And for those of you wannabe thugs living out in the suburbs, stop that shit. Stop it now. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Every time you blast my songs out of your pimped out rice-burner you make me wish I were alive so I could cap your ass. And Mom, knock it off. You’re already rich enough. If you think that that tube of toothpaste knocked itself out of the medicine cabinet last month, think again. That’s what happens. And there will be more things falling over soon. I’ve been eying that box of Cap’n Crunch in the cupboard for a while now. As for this new DJ Jazzy Jeff album, this is where I had hoped hip-hop would be in 2007. If you were take all of the crunk, Southern and hyphy garbage out and replace it with efforts as strong as this one, it would benefit the industry exponentially. Of course, there’s always room for gangsta rap, if anything because it results in things like this.
Funeral for a Friend – Tales Don’t Tell Themselves
Atlantic Records (5/14/07)
Post-hardcore / Emo
If you know where is band got its name, you are either Eric S. or you looked it up. Or you’re an Elton John fan who is not Eric S., in which case you’ll probably be a bit dismayed to hear this band’s music. I really just must not get it, because all of this post-hardcore mumbo jumbo is all Greek to me. While the Scissor Sisters have got themselves a helluva band name, they should have totally been called Funeral for a Friend instead of these guys. After hearing the Matt Davies’ vocals, I can see why the emo kids love this band. It’s not quite as whiny as some, but it keeps the whine-o-meter up enough to placate the scene (see also, Hey Mercedes). This reviewer did thoroughly enjoy the beginning of the “Into Oblivion Reunion” intro track, which does some really beautiful, atmospheric things, à la VNV Nation, before it launches into the obligatory guitar and voice—not so VNV Nation, and not so interesting. Whenever I think of musicians from Wales, my mind immediately goes to Richard D. James, and then to Catherine Zeta-Jones, because she’s hot f*cking tamales. Apparently, when they’re not writing with a shitload of w’s and y’s, the Welsh are now trying to emulate the angst of the American suburban teenager. Sad, that is. Oh well, we’ve still got Aphex Twin.
I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say here. All evidence points to the fact that I’ve never heard of post-hardcore, as it really didn’t start to take off until after I was killed. Yes, that right… I’m dead. Believe it or not. I am not alive. Just to show you how dead I am, here, I’ma go and smack Biggie upside the head. Be right back…
The Horrors – Strange House
Stolen Transmission (5/15/07 US; 3/5/07 EU)
Garage rock / Goth / Punk
I’ve been hearing a lot of things about these blokes—both good things and bad things. Yes, they do look like a bunch of Siouxsie and the Banshees groupies, but being partial to goth, horror and surf-rock, I am in pizzaface paradise listening to this album. The opening track, a cover of Screaming Lord Sutch’s “Jack the Ripper” is translated well, with equal parts Iggy Pop and The Cramps. “Count in Fives” uses the ’60s mind-expansive, punkadelic garage rock that is the band’s modus operandi, and it kicks ass. Another common element in most of the tracks is the use of the organ, of which I just cannot get enough, especially on the chaotic “Horrors Theme”. The band’s currently touring with Black Rebel Motorcycle club, though they would be much more appreciated, I reckon, as the supporting act for The Cramps or the Misfits. The band’s flagship single, “Sheena Is a Parasite”, is a nice little nod to the Ramones while sounding like it could have been an out-take from Bauhaus’ demos collection. I give it a thumbs way the f*ck up. I was certain that I wouldn’t be giving a 4.5 rating, after DJ Jazzy Jeff, for at least a few months, but lo and behold, I’ve got two in one column. Maybe the music industry isn’t doomed after all. The Horrors seriously make pretty much everyone else in rock look like pussies. Even Metallica. Wait… they already were.
That’s right, bitch. Yeah, I just smacked Biggie upside his fat bitch-ass head, that’s right. And then I smoked a bowl with Eazy E. Again, not really sure about what’s going on with this album, but I guess if I had to chose between listening to this album and having another one of my tracks ruined by T.I., I would go with this album. It seems pretty angry, which I made a decent pile of bones off of myself. If any of you Tupac fans out there are reading, do me a favor and kill Lil Jon, because I really don’t feel like waiting 40 years before I get a chance to smack that guy upside his head. He looks like Animal, but at least Animal could play the drums.
Travis – The Boy With No Name
Sony Music (5/8/07)
Brit-rock / Alternative
Before your Coldplay, before your Snow Patrol, Travis was doing the same thing, yet they’ve never quite seen the same degree of success as the aforementioned. This, their fifth full-length album, follows the same formula of deep, personal lyrics paired with guitar and piano to create some great songs, like “Closer” and “Colder”. “Selfish Jean” rips off “Lust for Life”, but unlike Jet, the band adds enough to the mix to make it not seem quite as shameless. “New Amsterdam” is one for the indie kids, with its light melody and soft lyrics, and sounds like something you’d hear at a coffeehouse. “Eyes Wide Open” has enough of a beat to it to roll with Franz Ferdinand and the like, as the band sets itself apart from the other, more sleep-inducing aforementioned acts. Remember, this is the same band that did a near-flawlessly executed cover of “Killer Queen”, so they can step it up when they want to. As a whole, it’s got some high points, though it starts to drone a bit near the middle and never really picks up the pace enough to keep one interested. Nothing wrong here, but nothing to call home about, either. I’ve got to say, though, it always like Travis’ album covers, with the Avant Garde typeface consistently being set on a breathtakingly high-rez image.
I’m still the ghost of Tupac, and while ghosts don’t sleep, this album had me nodding off. Seriously. Even having to talk to Ronald Reagan isn’t nearly as boring as this shit. And Aaron Cameron, you’d better stop listening to so much Masta Ace, because I will haunt your ass. You’d better put 2Pacalypse Now back in your CD changer, otherwise someone’s going to have a tube of toothpaste being knocked out of their medicine cabinet real soon.
