The Long and Short Of It – The Mighty Avengers #3

The Mighty Avengers #3

Storytellers: Brian Michael Bendis & Frank Cho
Colours: Jason Keith
Letters: Artmonkeys’ Dave Lanphear

The Long of It

Honestly, what a disappointment. Just when you really wanted a crock of shit, Marvel & DC throw a crock of gold your way. The bastards.

As I write this, I’m sitting here with a numb mouth. I’ve just had a crown fitted to one of my molars, and as such it’s going to need to be a pretty damned good comic that gets a positive review from me today. I’m itching to really let loose on some sloppy, half-arsed effort of a book. My tooth may be capped, but my ire is not. I have plenty of spleen to vent. So what do I find when I open my week’s comics orders? What can I really rip into? Absolutely bugger all. Because this has been one of the most solid weeks of comics in recent memory. Honestly, what a disappointment. Just when you really wanted a crock of shit, Marvel & DC throw a crock of gold your way. The bastards.

I could have reviewed any number of books this time around, as all of the following deserve mentions: Countdown 50, Justice League of America #9, Fallen Son: Captain America (the book of the week, if not the year so far), X-Factor #19, The Ultimates 2 #13(despite the most ludicrously huge gatefold since the dark, distant days of Liefeld & hologram covers), Moon Knight #10, Uncanny X-Men #486 and the X-Men First Class Special. If you get a week where my one of my favourite books (Cable & Deadpool) is at the bottom of my Top 10 (not that I have a Top 10 usually – I just noticed that there were 9 books this week I preferred to C&D), then you know you have a very good week. But anyway, all of this was passed over in favour of The Mighty Avengers, because Messrs Bendis and Cho have managed to do a number of things that are nigh-on impossible. I shall list these things as such as we progress through the review, with the pompous title of Nearly Impossible Things. Well, if they can give themselves a pompous title like “Storytellers”, then I can use pompous titles as well. Seems only fair.

Nearly Impossible Thing #1 Brian & Frank have actually managed to do something with one of the team members that pretty much nobody has managed to do before. Ever. They gave Sentry someone to hit; or rather “someTHING”. Something he could hit really hard and not seem like he was ridiculously outclassing whoever he was fighting. They fed him Ultron. You know? The massively powerful, indestructible, psychotic robot that Hank Pym built back in the day, and that has plagued The Avengers ever since? Yeah, that Ultron. And guess what? Ultron beat him. So they actually achieved, in doing that, Nearly Impossible Thing #2 – they made sense of Sentry even needing to be on a team. There really ARE some threats he can’t defeat single-handedly. Who’d a thunk it?

But let’s be honest here – if anyone’s going to draw a naked female superhero body, you’d want it to be Frank, wouldn’t you?

Because previously in The Mighty Avengers (I always wanted to do one of those voiceovers), Ultron exploded out of Iron Man; apparently killing Tony Stark in the process, which should last for all of about two issues; melted the Mole Man’s monsters, kicked the collective arses of the Avengers, and told Wasp she loved her. Oh, didn’t I mention? Ultron’s a “she” now, since taking the form of a naked metallic Janet Van Dyne. Now this could be the screwiest Elektra complex ever. You’re a robot in love with the woman whose form you have taken, who happens to be your “mother” by virtue of being your creator’s ex-wife. Of course, we all know it’s thinly-veiled device to enable Frank Cho to draw a naked female superhero body in a mainstream book. But let’s be honest here – if anyone’s going to draw a naked female superhero body, you’d want it to be Frank, wouldn’t you? He also manages to contrive a situation where he can draw Tigra in a pose that will leave the average comic geek thinking “Does she have stripes round her….”. Umm… yeah. I’ll stop right there.

The art is gorgeous. It really is. It has the perfect combination of comedic or gritty expressions, vibrant action scenes, natural composition, and the level of superheroic flashiness that you need for an Avengers book. And all this is assisted greatly by the vivid colouring work of Jason Keith, which meshes seamlessly with Cho’s art. If you had limited shelf-space in your comic shop, this is a title you would want to display front and centre. Because it looks like a superhero comic should. Stylish, alluring, immaculate. Just oh-so purdy.

And that quality is not confined to the art. It spreads throughout the writing as well. All of the characters have a defined voice, and one that is in-keeping with how those characters have been depicted historically. The dialogue, although quite prolific, is classically superheroic. There are moments of humour, moments of grim determination, moments of emotional crisis, and moments when no words need to be spoken – moments of action. And there is action here. Quite a lot of it, actually. So here we have Nearly Impossible Thing #3. Brian Michael Bendis has written a book that is not so heavily-laden with talking-heads dialogue (be it snarky wit or dramatic and emotional navel-gazing) so as to prevent good old super-action. We have an extended fight between Sentry and Ultron, and yet still we have time for a S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier crash. I always think that life in Marvel Universe New York must be something like:

“Hey Bob, the Helicarrier’s crashed again.”
“Dammit Jim, that must mean it’s Thursday. Why didn’t you say so? I’m late for my Pilates class.”

It looks like an Avengers comic. It feels like an Avengers comic. And you know what they say – If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.

So yeah, action aplenty. It looks like an Avengers comic. It feels like an Avengers comic. And you know what they say – If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. So here’s Nearly Impossible Thing #4. They may actually be able to persuade the nay-sayers that Bendis does actually understand what an Avengers comic should be. This is definitely Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. With Hank Pym’s imminent return to the fray, and with Iron Man’s inevitable “resurrection”, that means we have three founders on the team, as well as Wonder Man, Ms. Marvel, Black Widow and Tigra who have all clocked up some serious avenging time. And coupling those guys with Sentry and Ares means we have what really must be the most powerful line-up of Avengers ever. Plus we’re getting classic Avengers villains. “My” Avengers are back. Thank the Lord Bendis.

And despite the massive power levels on show (all but one of them could lift at least 10 tons, and most of them significantly more), they still manage to make Black Widow; the only non-powered person on the team; effective. Because she’s the only one of the team with sufficient clout to take charge of S.H.I.E.L.D. in the absence of Stark and Maria Hill. There you go. Nearly Impossible Thing #5. Encouraging this, isn’t it?

Sound effects. They’ve made up some new ones. Great, huh?

And yet they still have time for Nearly Impossible Thing #6, something which must surely be unimaginable for a comic fandom so jaded and cynical. Something to restore your faith in comics in a single sweep. So what is this epic task they have taken on and delivered? Sound effects. They’ve made up some new ones. Great, huh? Yes, we’ve got all the old faithfuls (Krakaboom, Fakoom, Krakoom, Crack, Faboom, Boom, Riinnngg rinngg, Knock, Bang, Smash, Clang, Foom, Splam, Spink and Whup), but also “Spash”, “Kramoom”, “Fraboom”, “Smackfoom” and “Karoom”. All this in the book that brings thought balloons back to the Marvel Universe. If only they could bring back those little continuity boxes that said things like “Tales to Abolish #76 – Ed” (whoever Ed was – he used to really get about), then I think I’d be sitting here touching myself where daddy used to that I’m not allowed to talk about. I’m close to that as it is.

I’m like a small child again. They gave me my Avengers back.