Hey all. Tom Pandich. Happy Memorial Day. Have a nice day off of work? I sure did. I’ll be here all night and hopefully Raw will be good. Positive attitude folks. That’s the only thing getting me through tonight when my heart is in playing Actraiser on my Wii at the moment.
Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I really need to not catch the last thirty seconds of every episode. Raw is dedicated to the troops. It’s Memorial Day. Quick video montage. Opening video and we’re in Toronto? Not exactly the best planned stop on the road.
Bikini Battle Royale
Candice Michelle, Mickey James, Maria, Jillian, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Brooke, Michelle McCool, Kristal, and Melina are in this thing. Melina looks odd tonight.
Also tonight, Randy Orton vs Rob Van Dam and the Great Khali teams with Shane-o-Mac and Oooomaga to take on John Cena and Bobby Lashley.
Everyone squirts Melina to start things out and they hit each other with pool floats, beach towles, boogie boards, and noodles. Kristal is elminated as she’s tossed over the middle rope. There goes Brooke followed by Maria then Layla. Kelly Kelly has water tossed on her before being tossed under the bottom rope to be eliminated. Mickey James is tossed. Candice Michelle tries to eliminate Maria, but Jillian comes over and tosses her. Melina and Jillian double team Michelle McCool, but McCool hits a double clothesline and dumps Jillian. Michelle McCool hits a drop kick and Melina can’t go through the middle rope so she rolls out to lose.
Winner: Michelle McCool
Completely terrible. In the back, here comes Shane. He’s going to the ring next.
Here’s Shane. He comes out to announce that in two weeks time we’re having a tri-branded draft! Any superstar can be drafted to any show. My guess is we’ll get both the Hardys on one show (hopefully Smackdown) and Snitsky on Raw. Shane then talks about the match he has tonight. Shane promises to pin Bobby Lashley tonight. Shane raps and it’s pretty terrible.
8 Man Tag: Kenny Dykstra, Johnnie Nitro and TWGTT vs The Hardys, Lance Cade, and Trevor Murdoch
Cade starts things out with Nitro. Cade hits a shoulder block and tags in Murdoch. Tag to Matt who becomes the face in peril as soon as he comes in. The King teases a turn tonight. Shelton gets tagged in, but Matt makes the tag to Jeff. Double team takes down Shelton and Jeff hits a drop kick on the sitting Shelton. Another tag to Matt who comes off the second rope with a double axe handle blow. He hits another one only to be forced into the corner. Haas makes the tag but gets dropped pretty quick.
Matt makes his way over to his corner and tags out. Cade and Murdoch hit a few quick tags. Shelton gets tagged in only to be taken out quickly. Whispers in the Wind is followed by both members of The World’s Greatest Tag Team getting dumped. Murdoch comes off the top to the outside with a belly flop as we go to commercial.
We’re back and Murdoch makes the tag to Jeff who runs over Haas. He pops up top and hits a corkscrew. Jeff hits the ropes but Shelton kicks him in the back of the head. Heels hit quick tags. Kenny runs over Jeff with a standing clothesline for two. Tag to Nitro and Kenny and Nitro hit their slingshot/leg drop move. Tag to Shelton and Hardy fights back only to be dropped by a bicycle kick. Shelton locks on a chinlock breaking it to punch Hardy.
Haas tags in and kicks Jeff in the head. Jeff gets tossed into the corner and Haas lands a belly to belly suplex before locking in a headlock. Hardy tries to fight his way up only get pulled down by his hair. Tag to Kenny who boots Jeffy in the face. Chinlock by Kenny and he bites Jeff? Kenny breaks the hold, tries to whip Jeff into the corner, but Jeff lands a spinning neckbreaker. Matt gets the tag.
Matt comes in fast. He hits the clothesline in the corner followed by the bulldog. Matt sets up a neckbreaker, but Nitro pops in. Kick to gut to Nitro. Nitro gets DDTed and Kenny gets neckbroken. TWGTT hits the ring only to be dumped by Cade and Murdoch. Twists of Fate to Kenny. Tag to Jeff. Swanton. That’s it.
Winner: Good guys
The World’s Greatest Tag Team pops in and challenges the Hardys at One Night Stand. They agree and it’s a ladder match. Cade and Murdoch seem somewhat disappointed.
Saturday Night’s Main Event is Saturday at 11:30.
Time for a Cena interview with Todd. Cena is getting booed pretty badly tonight. Cena makes fun of how Khali talks and says he’s not afraid of Khali. Cena says he’s not deaf and he’s not invicible either. Cena talks about how it’s not fear he hears, it’s doubt. Cena is going to shut everyone up. He says he’ll win. I say commercials!
In the back, Maria is with Santino Marella. She wants to know what he thinks about being drafted. As long as he’s in the WWE, he’s happy. Maria wonders whether or not Santino’s accent is Italian. He says it’s from New Jersey. Randy Orton shows up and talks about what RVD said about Randy having no respect for the business. Pot to kettle black. Randy says he had respect for Shawn Michaels, but he has no respect for RVD.
Speaking of which…
Randy Orton vs Rob Van Dam
It’s funny. Rob does something wrong, he gets buried. Randy does something wrong, he gets a push. I’m guessing this will be Rob’s last match, and he’ll spend the rest of his contract out on the sideline.
JR tries to sell Rob as a legend. They switch positions a few times before Randy locks on a headlock. Randy breaks the hold and tosses Rob into the ropes. Rob blocks the hip toss and does a nice arm drag as a decent size TNA chant starts out from some smarts in the crowd. Randy kicks Rob only to be rolled up by body scissors for two. Randy bailsand comes back in to be monkey flipped fifty feet up into the air. Randy pops right back up and proceeds to drop Rob. Orton works over Rob a bit before RVD lands a decent size spin kick. Randy lands in the wrong spot so Rob sets him up for rolling thunder. Randy rolls outside before Rob leaps and the two trade blows. Randy tosses Rob into the corner only to be reversed. Randy floats over and Rob pops up top. Randy hits a drop kick and RVD flies over the ring post to the floor below. Commercials.
We’re back and Randy Orton hit a neckbreaker out of an electric chair during the break. Randy has a headlock on Rob as we return. Rob fights up but the old head full of hair drops Van Dam. Orton does his circle stomp thing followed by a knee drop for two. Van Dam turns things around after getting tossed into a corner and hitting a side kick sprung off of the second rope. Neat. The two exchange rights and Randy misses a drop kick. RVD hits Rolling Thunder and follows it with a series of clotheslines and a kick to the head for two.
Slam by RVD and he follows it with a springboard moonsault for two. Randy pokes RVD in the eye. RVD still manages to hit his spin heel kick. Rob pops up top but looks dazed. Randy rolls out of the way to the apron only to eat a side kick off the top. Rob goes outside only to get caught coming back in. He gets spike DDTed off of the second rope for two and Rob is having a bad trip. Orton hits a few punches followed by a k nee. Ref calls the match.
Winner by Ref’s Decision: Randy Orton
RKO by Orton finishes it for real. Still to come, handicap match.
During the commercial, RVD got some brownies in him and he was alright.
Inter-gender tag match: Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson vs Carlito and Victoria
Victoria looks pretty hot tonight proving yet again, I’m a hypocrite. Carlito and Flair start things out. Carlito tags in Victoria who slaps Flair twice and then gets put in the figure four. Carlito races in and flips Flair over and Victoria, sadly, doesn’t know that’s the counter to the Figure Four. Tag to Carlito who puts on a Boston Crab to Flair. Tag to Victoria who works over on Flair. She tries to punch out Flair, but Carlito gets hit. Tag to Torrie Wilson who runs over Victoria. Carlito takes out Flair with a chop block while this is happening. Torrie hits an X-Factor for two (Carlito breaks it up). Carlito tags in. He makes out with Torrie Wilson who slaps him. She goes to leave but he hits the backcracker.
Winner: Victoria and Carlito
One Night Stand’s Card is listed.
In the back, Umaga and Great Khali have a meeting of the minds. Shane pops in and calms the two men down. “Worst prom couple ever.” Cute. Shane wants the pin, that’s it. More commercials.
We’re back and it’s Maria’s Kiss Cam. Awful segment. To make it more awful, here comes Chris Masters. He says he couldn’t help but notice how she was quite charmed by Santino Marella. He calls out Santino to break the Masterlock. Masters says this might be the last time someone gets put in the Masterlock on Raw. Rather then having a challenge, the two fight. Santino hits a Thez Press, but gets caught by a crossbody. Shoulderbreaker to Santino. Crowd gets behind him. He almost fights out, but Santino fades and gets tossed down. 3 on 2 is next.
3 on 2 Handicap Match: Shane McMahon, the Great Khali, and Umaga vs John Cena and Bobby Lashley
Huge boos for Cena. That’s about the only notable reaction really.
Umaga shoulder blocks Cena in the corner to start off. Cena sidesteps Umaga and bulldogs him only to see Umaga pop up and run him over. Throwback gets two before Cena catches a blow to the throat. Huge Cena sucks chant which is dueled with a let’s go Cena chant. Tag to Khali who kicks Cena. Tag to Shane who holds down Cena for a bit. Tag to Umaga who slugs Cena. The two illegal heels choke out Cena. Shane kicks Cena in the back and Umaga hits the Samoan drop for two.
Tag to Khali who drops a leg on Cena. Tag to Shane and he puts Cena in leg scissors. Cena hits a back suplex finally and makes the tag to Lashley. Tag to Umaga. Lashley splashes Umaga. Lashley tries for a suplex, but he can’t get Umaga up. DDT to Umaga. Lashley tries to spear Umaga but he runs into a foot. Umaga misses the splash but Khali tags himself in. Cena and Lashley double team Khali who gets tied up. Cena gets pulled out though and spiked by Umaga. Lashley has Shane, but Khali gets loose. Double hand chokeslam to Lashley. Tag to Shane who hits the big elbow off the top for the win.
Winners: The Great Khali, Umaga, and Shane McMahon
Alright that’s it for Raw. I’d just like to say thanks for reading. Last week will be my last live coverage for Raw. See you next week.