Did you miss my column last week? If so, I wrote a new entry for Deconstructing the Moveset entitled It’s Time to Blur the Lines, which deals about the current meme in the IWC today, which leads us to ECW tonight. It’s pre-taped, so if you’re too impatient, check out some ECW spoilers. Something tells me we;re in for a special treat tonight. Maybe it’s a little bird or something.
Want to read up on someone else’s opinion of the Stevie vs. Kevin Thorn feud? read Alternate Reality this week. Alternate Reality by Vin Tastic. He gives his opinion on the only feud in ECW that can remind us of old ECW in any way shape or form (even just a little).
If you’ve been wondering what’s been taking up my time lately, it’s Duels, which is not only fun but too addictive for words.
Anyway, we start the show with a recap of last week’s four way top contender match. Tonight we’re going to get that match, not at Unforgiven.
We’re not using the Original or Marilyn Manson music tonight. This is the music from last week I think.
Boogeyman over Matt Striker by DQ
Boogeyman starts the show and he’s got his red, yellow and black makeup. I don’t think we’re ever going to see the black and red “adult” face paint again. Matt Striker makes his way out to a chorus of boos. Matt Striker claims to be omniscient and all knowing and he’ll be victorious tonight. Then… he introduces Big Daddy V?
Okay, so this is a handicapped match? Maybe not, but V feels like hanging out on the ring apron. You gonna tell him to leave? As you could guess, Boogey out fights Striker, and Striker pulls a Macho Man and makes an exit from the ring to get an advantage of Boogey by taking out Boogey’s kegs. Striker corners Boogey in the corner, but is reversed and gets splashed in the opposite corner. Again, STriker goes to the outside and runs away from Boogey towards V, and V takes off Boogey’s head with a clothesline. Ending the match.
Big Dady V celebrates Matt Striker’s win and we go to Armando’s office. Armando’s looking forward to the title match tonight. So is everyone else, Chucky. Punk’s hair is looking pretty tonight. Triple H pretty. That becomes important later. Armando tells Punk that tonight’s his last chance. Armando wishes him luck and Punk says that luck is for losers. I wonder if luck also includes a champion being suspended…
Does anyone else think that Who Wants to Be a Superhero is lame this season? Pretty sure the show jumped the shark with all of the stupid CGI.
Balls Mahoney vs. The Miz
Man, who else is realizing that they’ve actually built themselves some feuds in ECW. After a preview of Balls on the aforementioned reality Superhero show, we’re getting into the match. The girls are at ringside.
Balls goes for the punches, but stops short in favor of a back elbow to a running Miz. Balls pushes him to the corner and throws a few punches up high. Miz tries to go behind, but Balls reverses it. Miz runs to the ropes to get Balls off and knocks him down with a clothesline for a one.
Miz hit a few forearms to the back and hits a side russian leg sweep for a two. TWO!
Miz goes for a headlock, but Balls powers out, but the Miz hits a few knees to cut the comeback short. The Miz whips Balls to the corner, Balls comes back with a back elbow, ducks a clothesline and nails a flying forearm. Balls hits the Balls punches in completion and follows with a nice back suplex for a two. TWO!
Balls whips Miz to the ropes and ducks and gets two boots to the face and Miz runs to the ropes and hits the reality check and the Miz wins clean. Layla and Brooke celebrate and Kelly pouts. The Miz announces the loser of the match. Kelly goes into the ring to check on Balls and that pises the Miz off. The Miz pulls Kelly away and Kelly thinks twice about that, but he pulls her away anyway.
A few moments of pre-recorded statements from John Morrison while some music plays behind him. I wonder how he gets his abs to be so tight…
Have you checked into The Tuesday Night ECW Thread? You’re missing gems like this:
“Luck is for losers.” – CM Punk
Some potential catch phrases for the straightedge superstar:
“Hay is for horses.”
“I know you are but what am I?”
“Blow it out your nose.”
“Take this job and shove it!”
Those forum people are HI-LARIOUS!
So apparently I missed some drama last night on RAW. They hot shotted the “son” angle on RAW. Why? Because they’re about to lose some SERIOUS star power on that show. At least the mother of Vince’s daughter isn’t Stephanie. I was kinda expecting that much.
Kevin Thorn and Elijah Burke over Stevie Richards and Tommy Dreamer by Elijah Express
Guys like these four are going to get more and more common after the steroid/HGH/testosterone leak going around. Though we won’t see Dreamer very long since Mike Bucci got fired up in OVW.
Richards and Thorn start with Thorn getting the better of Richards. Richards gets momentum with a missed elbow and tags in Dreamer, who drops an elbow of his own and gets a two. TWO!
thorn slams Dreamer, shoulder blocks him and tags in Burke. It’s the land of missed elbow as Dreamer avoids a Burke elbow. Burke tosses Dreamer to the ropes and he gets kneed in the back. Poor ECW Originals, everyone’s got a bad back.
Thorn is back in and has control over Dreamer. If they’re already teasing hot tags to Richards, this one’s gonna be a short match.
Thorn’s got a rear chin lock on Dreamer and Stevie roots the crowd on. Dreamer powers out and avoids a few moves in the corner and gest the hot tag, as does Thorn. Stevie cleans Burke’s clock, but gets cut shortby Thorn, who throws Stevie into the post. Dreamer comes in and Cactus clotheslines Thorn out of the ring as Elijah hits the Elijah Express on Stevie.
I just noticed this: They appeared to have dragged the old WCW Nitro starry backdrop out of storage and given it to the ECW entrance. Kinda funny.
Styles drops the “Do or Die” line in reference to Punk’s match tonight. I guess enough time has passed since the Benoit thing for them to use that line again.
Another set of promo videos for John Morrison and CM Punk. You’ think they could have given the tag match an extra minute instead of this. Listen WWE, not that many new people are watching that you need to introduce these guys any more than you already have.
CM Punk vs. John Morrison
Mosrrison’s got his fuzzy jacket back in full force tonight. I think that if the Warrior were to come into ECW right now, he’d look like Morrison but with face paint. I mean, it already seems like Warrior’s writing his promos.
Circle to start, collar and elbow. Morrisno goes behind and Punk reverses it and that gets reversed into a cradle by Morrison for a two. Huge CM Punk chant to start. Punk reverses another hold and rolls up Morrison for a two. TWO!
Another collar and elbow and Punk knocks down Morrison with a running shoulder block and then reverses an arm drag into one of his own and covers fora two. TWO! Punk has an arm bar, but it’s reversed and Punk gets stomped for his troubles. Morrison looks sour and continues the punishment on Punk in the corner. Morrison gets a whip reversed and Punk hits a springboard dropkick a la Jericho.
Oh how we all miss Jericho.
Punk lands a leg drop for a two. TWO!
Punk goes for an arm bar and turns it into a round kick to Morrisons oh so pretty face. Punk hits another kick that screams “SAY NO TO DRUGS” and follows it up with a chop. WOO! Punk whips Morrison to the corner, drags him up into a snap suplex for a two. TWO!
Morrison gets Punk on the apron and goes for a sunset flip powerbowm. He doesn’t get it, and instead Punk hits a springboard crossbody.
Both men on the floor? Check.
Both men down? Check.
Rumor has it that Ric Flair QUIT! Wow. How does this tie into ECW? Ummm… remember that time he fought the Big Show for the ECW title?
We’re back and Punk has control over Morrison. Funny how his hair got so pretty tonight. Morrison maintains control, focusing on the shoulder, because that’s what Punk’s been focusing on. Morrison hits a kick to Punk’s chest and a hanging drop kick on Punk, who was on the apron.
Morrison strps in a “submission” as Tazz calls it ,and can’t really power out, but gets out of the hold. Morrison hits the back breaker and Punk rolls him up for a two TWO! Morrison gets out and hits a running knee to the seated Punk for a two.
Morrison can’t get a three count, and the frustration begins to show. He tries another submission, but it doesn’t get the job done. Maybe he needs to take more steroids to help him win the match.
Punk powers out and Morrison cuts it short by pulling him hair first into the canvas. Morrison goes upt op, but Punk crotches him on the corner and hits a superplex. HAY IS FOR HORSES! Tazz reminds us it hurts everyone involved and we go to a double count down, which ends at 6. Punk hits a spinning kick and hits a running knee for a two. TWO!
Punk hits the rising knee in the corner and the bulldog for another two and the crowd is heavily into this match. Punk goes for a double underhook, but is riven into the corner. Morrison barely hits a split legged moonsault for a two. TWO! The crowd is in a frenzy at this point.
Punk reverses whatever Morrison’s move is, but that’s reversed and Punk gets rolled up by Morrison who grabs the ropes and gest caught. Bad junkie. Bad.
Punk hits a standing enziguiri and both men are trying hard to get to their feet. Punk misses in the corner, but ducks a springboard enziguiriand hits the GTS for the ONE. TWO. THREE!!!
CM PUNK IS THE NEW ECW CHAMPION.
Even Scott Armstrong looks happy to give the title to someone who wasn’t caught buying illegal drugs last week.
That’s it folks. All is right in the universe. As if to apologize for putting the belt on that piece of shit John Morrison, they give us what we’ve wanted ever since he debuted in the Hammersmith Ballroom against Shannon Moore. CM Punk is the ECW champion.
ECW’s really shaping up to be a good show. I’m not only saying this because CM Punk is the champ, but it appears as if they actually have strung together a few feuds. I’m enjoying Dreamer, Richards, Thorn and Burke. I’m looking forward to Balls vs. Burke. I wish they’d quit it with the teenager thing with Balls, but whatever gets him on TV is fine with me. Punk’s got built in feuds with Burke, he hasn’t seen Thorn in the ring in a while and I think we;re going to see him fighting Cor Von when he returns.