Live from Cleveland, Ohio
And inside the ring are three unknown people. They aren’t important, as Vince McMahon makes his grand appearance. The King takes a jab at the overweight guy in the red and white tights. Vince has the microphone as he plugs his match against Triple H later tonight. He guarantees everybody that the ring announcer will say his name in victory. He’s confident because actions speak louder than words.
We get a video showing Vince McMahon besting Triple H on many occasions. Now he addresses the three unknowns. One is an All-American, the one in the middle is a karate champion as we get technical difficulties. That didn’t last long as he addresses the fat one as a sumo champion. We get a demonstration of each fighting styles in this ring. Vince looks like he will take the three men on, but he changes his mind and invites a returning Umaga to the ring. For those keeping score, Umaga will face Triple H this Sunday at No Mercy.
Umaga cleans house on the three nobodies. Not much to explain here as we all get that Umaga is a monster. Samoan Spike to the fat one and Vince celebrate with Umaga. We get a replay of the beatdown. Umaga takes the karate guy and nails a Samoan Drop. They leave as we go to commercials.
Commercials
We are back as we gear up for a six man tag with Jeff Hardy, Paul London, & Brian Kendrick taking on Shelton Benjamin, Lance Cade, & Trevor Murdoch.
Jeff Hardy, Paul London, & Brian Kendrick v. Shelton Benjamin, Lance Cade, & Trevor Murdoch.
Paul London and Trevor Murdoch start things off with London taking it to Murdoch. Quick tag to Kendrick as Benjamin gets in on the action with a huge press. Another quick tag to Cade as Kendrick is isolated in the heel corner. Murdoch tags in, taking down Kendrick with a chop before applying a headlock. Kendrick fights out of it, avoids a slam and nails a dropkick as Hardy gets a tag. He goes hog wild on the tag team champs, nailing the leg drop on Cade. Cade reverses the whip and Hardy nails the Whisper in the Wind. He goes on top as Benjamin drops him south on the turnbuckle. Kendrick inside with Sliced Bread #2, followed by the Swanton as Hardy gets the pinfall.
Winners: Jeff Hardy, Paul London, & Brian Kendrick
Match Rating: ** – Inoffensive for the time allotted.
A replay shows Paul London nailing a moonsault off the apron, landing on Shelton Benjamin.
Inside William Regal’s office, Vince interrupts the phone call. Coach is sick this week and Vince congratulates Regal for making Cena v. Kennedy tonight. He asks Regal to baby-sit Hornswoggle. Regal takes his eyes off Hornswoggle for a second and he’s gone.
We get a recap of the Randy Orton/John Cena feud to date. We will hear from Randy, who is somewhere that isn’t in Ohio .NEXT!
Commercials
We are back as J.R. conducts the interview, via satellite in Chicago, Illinois. Randy isn’t in Ohio because Cena is in a disturbed state. He is waiting due time for Cena to come to him this Sunday at No Mercy. We run through the feud once again before we head back to Orton. He vows that like his father Cena won’t be standing come No Mercy. He asks Cena how his head is. He tells everyone that he will be the new WWE Champion.
Two members of the Cleveland Indians are in attendance tonight as we take our weekly Diva Search segment. Remember that you have until 10PM Eastern to vote for your favorite diva at WWE.com.
William Regal continues the hunt for Hornswoggle. He runs into the Highlanders and Regal inquires about why they did not face Kendrick and London tonight. They reply that they only want a tag team title match whether Regal likes it or not.
Commercials
Back to the action as Cody Rhodes makes his way to the ring. Last week, he got owned by Hardcore Holly and he wants more!.
Cody Rhodes v. Hardcore Holly
Pacing for position to start as Rhodes eats a shoulderblock. Rhodes is in control with a arm drag, but Holly is more experienced and he shows it with some chops. Rhodes comes back and catches Holly in a backslide for two. An inside cradle gets two as well as Holly SLAPS the taste out or Rhodes. Another rollup by Rhodes gets two. Rhodes leaps the turnbuckle and gets caught with the Alabamaslam for a three count.
Winner: Hardcore Holly
Match Rating: 1/2* – The match was short as Cody is 0-2 against Hardcore Holly.
Later tonight John Cena takes on Mr. Kennedy.
Commercials
We are back as Beth Phoenix makes her way to the ring. This Sunday at No Mercy, she takes on Candace Michelle for the Women’s Championship. She says that it is only a matter of time before she becomes the Women’s Champion. She instructs Lillian to announcing her as the new Women’s Champion. Lillian does and she adds on that IF she beats Candice this Sunday. She chokes Lillian out as Candice Michelle comes to her aid. She gains the advantage by knocking Beth Phoenix out of the ring.
In the back, Triple H is taping his wrists as his match against Vince McMahon is up next. We get a replay of Umaga decimating three nobodies earlier tonight.
Commercials
The SAVE_US.222 clip, which I disregarded as nothing last week, plays again tonight. Lillian Garcia chokes a bit in introducing Vince McMahon due to being choked out by Beth Phoenix moments ago. Vince reminds everyone that there was a recent incident. That incident was the dissection of Umaga last month. It’s now time to play the Game.
Vince McMahon v. Triple H
Vince interrupts Triple H’s entrance. He asks for a referee, who was not in the ring. Now that’s not cool. We have Carlito as a special guest referee. Vince tells Carlito how to officiate, which is funny. Carlito separates the two men as he rings the bell. Vince makes like a chicken and heads to the ropes. Away from the ropes, Vince leaves the ring and Carlito finally begins to count. A lot of stalling in this match as nothing happens. Carlito can count to two though. Triple H has enough and he takes Vince out on the outside. Carlito goes down as Triple H slides in the ring and almost gets the Pedigree. Backstabber from Carlito gets Vince a quick count of two. Vince clobbers Triple H and he nails a vicious low blow. Carlito rings the bell to signal the disqualification.
Winner: Vince McMahon (by DQ)
Match Rating: NR – I’ll be nice and regard this as a comedy match and not rate it.
Umaga comes out and the two get in a slugfest. Triple H can’t take Umaga off the ropes. Samoan drop countered to a DDT, to which Umaga no sells. Umaga jabs Triple H’s throat. Butt attack connects at the turnbuckle and Carlito saves Triple H from the Samoan Spike. Triple H reaches for a sledgehammer and Umaga backs off. He stares at Umaga as he leaves with Vince McMahon in tow.
Commercials
We are back and it is time for Marella At the Movies. Maria, however, is still stunning as usual.
Santino Marella reviews the movie, “The Condemnedâ€Â, starring Stone Cold. Marella calls the video pathetic, but Maria liked it. Marella says that the movie needed someone like him in it.
We get a clip from the movie. Santino Marella says that Austin’s acting should have been condemned. He continues on until he is rightfully interrupted by Val Venis.
Val Venis knows more about acting than Santino would ever do. Santino makes fun of Val and his talents. Val extends an invitation to Maria to star in a sequel to Mr. Woodcock. Santino takes Maria away as Val says that she can take him up on his offer or star in a movie about Santino’s lovemaking skills, Superbad. Santino comes unglued and takes out Val before leaving in haste.
Backstage, Todd Grisham has John Cena on the interview block. People are saying that Randy has already won the match. “They†are creepy and Cena acknowledges that people hate him and Grisham has naked pictures of Umaga on his website. Cena takes the microphone and gives a great promo saying that no matter what Randy dishes out, he will get up. Cena won’t quit at No Mercy and he will beat Randy Orton so bad that they won’t ever forget it.
Commercials
On a side note, Matthew Michaels mentioned to me over AIM that the SAVE_US.222 clip was actually 8.2.11/SAVIOR_SELF. I didn’t get a chance to watch it in slow-motion, so don’t mind me. Thanks to Matthew for the tip. It still points to something huge. What is it? The rumors are running, but it is best to say that we will know when the WWE wants us to know.
Speaking of hot women, we return to RAW with Melina making her way to the ring. Last week, she went on a date with Mack-daddy Hornswoggle. She is facing Mickie James tonight.
Melina v. Mickie James
They tie up in the center of the ring as both divas look for an opening. Mickie James scores with a Lou Thez Press takedown, followed by a kick. Ribbreaker by Melina gets two as Melina is in control. She has the hair until Mickie James gets her off. Both women back up as Melia gets backed into the turnbuckle. Mickie James goes to school with Melina, scoring a two count. Back up and Melina scores a kick to the face, using the turnbuckle to her advantage. Hurracurana takedown by Melia as Hornswoggle peeps his head up and Mickie James rolls Melina up for the win.
Winner: Mickie James
Match Rating: *1/2 – Not a bad match while it lasted.
Melina heads underneath the ring and Hornswoggle leaves with Melina’s top, before diving underneath and taking the rest of Melina’s clothes. Melina demands her clothes back, but Hornswoggle heads up the stage as we head for another commercial break.
Commercials
We are back as William Regal snatches Melina’s clothes away. Dr. Stevo enters the segment and calls Willie a crossdresser. Hornswoggle disappears once again and William looks at the clothing in a perverted way.
Here is the No Mercy lineup as of tonight.
*Batista v. The Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Championship inside the Punjabi Prison Match
*Triple H v. Umaga
*Candice Michelle v. Beth Phoenix for the WWE Women’s Championship
*Rey Mysterio v. Finlay
*Randy Orton v. John Cena for the WWE Championship in a Last Man Standing Match.
Dr. Stevo meets up with Ron Simmons and calls him a badass. He thinks that he can toughen Ron up even more. He throws Dr. Stevo out and says his trademark word.
It’s main event time and John Cena comes out. Lillian slips up again in introducing Cena. He faces Mr. Kennedy NEXT!
Commercials
NOW, it is time for the main event as Mr. Kennedy returns to Monday Night RAW! Kennedy goes through his thing, saying that he doesn’t like Cena. He says that it would be a big statement if he took out the top dog.
John Cena v. Mr. Kennedy Kennedy
The bell rings and the men pace around, jockeying for position. Arm and elbow tie up as Kennedy gets Cena in a headlock. Cena gets out of it and runs into a shoulder tackle. Kennedy gets stopped with a couple armdrags as Cena keeps the arm latched on. He breaks and Kennedy nails some kicks to Cena, taking control of the match. Kennedy to the turnbuckle and he receives a bulldog by Cena. Cena follows up with a forearm as Kennedy rakes the eyes. He nails some forearms and kicks Cena down in the corner. Cena rolls out of the ring and Kennedy is in pursuit. Cena gets introduced to the steel steps as Kennedy continues on the offense as we take a commercial break.
Commercials
We return with Cena in control until Kennedy scores a DDT. He covers for a two count. He gets a headlock on Cena, driving the breath out of him. Cena fights his way back up and he gets out of the move with a back suplex. Drop toehold into the STFU and Kennedy submits!
Winner: John Cena
Match Rating: **1/4 – The match ended too quickly after returning from commercial, but it was equally contested, which is good.
The match is over and Randy Orton goes from Chicago to Cleveland in a matter of an hour and a half and he takes Cena out with the RKO! Randy drags Cena outside the ring and he dislodges the steel steps. Cena is up and he gets knocked out by the steps! Orton then takes apart the announcer’s table and he grabs a monitor, nailing Cena with it. Cena collapses on the table as Orton gets on the table. RKO ON THE TABLE! The table didn’t break as Orton gets in Cena’s face and he counts as if Cena is down and out. Cena doesn’t respond to Orton’s ten count. Orton gets inside the ring while Cena is still down from the relentless assault. Orton stares at Cena who struggles to sit up as the show goes off the air.
But wait! Dr. Stevo returns and he gets on Ron Simmon’s case. Simmons asks if Stevo had somewhere else to be and he replies that his show starts now. Ron throws him out again as we really go off the air.
Show over.
The Inside Pulse
Jeff Hardy, Paul London, & Brian Kendrick d. Shelton Benjamin, Lance Cade, & Trevor Murdoch (**)
Hardcore Holly d. Cody Rhodes (1/2*)
Vince McMahon d. Triple H via disqualification (NR)
Mickie James d. Melina (*1/2)
John Cena d. Mr. Kennedy (**1/4)
