Credit: www.impawards.com
Director:
Andy Fickman
Cast:
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson Joe Kingman
Madison Pettis .Peyton Kelly
Kyra Sedgwick .Stella Peck
Roselyn Sanchez .Monique Vasquez
Morris Chestnut .Travis Sanders
Hayes MacArthur .Kyle Cooper
Walt Disney Pictures presents The Game Plan. Written by Nichole Millard and Kathryn Price. Running time: 110 minutes. Rated PG (for some mild thematic elements).
Almost like déjà vu the Mickey Mouse company has given us something familiar: a family comedy with lowbrow humor, cheap laughs but full of oh so wholesome goodness that I was just waiting for the music to swell. You know, like the end of every episode of Full House where D.J., or Stephanie or Michelle learns a very valuable lesson.
The Game Plan is this year’s version of The Pacifier. Both are comedies that star actors who were to be the heir apparent to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not in comedy, because God knows what it would have been like to have a hundred Jingle All the Way clones. Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson were to have headlined action movies for years to come, like Arnold used to in the eighties and nineties. But Disney has somehow managed to wrap its media giant tentacles around both actors and lead them down the path to comedy hell.
The Rock, as wrestling fans know Johnson as, is Joe Kingman, the star quarterback of the fictional Boston Rebels. A bit egotistical, Johnson acts more like “Broadway Joe” Namath than the “People’s Quarterback.” He’s a bachelor and a ladies man. His luxury condo is adorned with Elvis paraphernalia and pictures of himself in full football regalia. No homey effects, just Spike, his faithful bulldog companion.
From the start we know we shouldn’t like him because of his arrogance, but he’s The Rock, he’s Mr. Charisma. As the most beloved celebrity in Boston (sorry Big Papi), he’s got the easy life. Then his world gets rocked when a girl named Peyton (Madison Pettis) shows up on his doorstep claiming to be his daughter. (Keanu Reeves or former teen idol Joey Lawrence would come in handy about now.) Supposedly, her mother who is also Kingman’s ex-wife became pregnant before the divorce was finalized. As a humanitarian, she had to travel to Africa and dropped her off at his place.
For a guy who’s motto is “Never Say No,” the thought of being a family man just doesn’t figure in to Kingman’s lifestyle. But alas, he takes little Peyton in and agrees to take care of her for month. So he tries to play both sides of the field: star quarterback and daddy dearest. The dearest is to be taken lightly as Kingman can come off as cruel to the pint-sized brunette. His only resolution is to strum his acoustic guitar, curl his lips like Elvis and make things right. He’ll also subject himself to being the butt of many insolent jokes water gun fights, performing ballet and talking with a lisp.
No new ground is being broken; there’ll always be Hulk Hogan and his tight-wearing performance in Mr. Nanny. Still, The Rock guts it out and all the pratfalls that come with being a newfound dad. Surprisingly, he and Madison Pettis have good chemistry that helps to string us along for two hours. Like oil and vinegar, she likes classical music, he, of course, is a little rock n’ roll. She’d take a show about the wonderful world of ponies over the closing seconds of a pro basketball nail-biter any day.
Their interaction, while central to the story, gets convoluted with other subplots that don’t seem to go anywhere. Joe’s selfishness when it comes to his teammates and his toys ($10,000 bed, weight room, universal remote), yada, yada, yada. But Johnson appears enthusiastic, because in the back of his mind he knows that The Game Plan will help to widen his appeal and he knows that his magnitude is greater than any derivative screenplay. Which pretty much sums up the movie’s story structure.
At least The Rock will be capable of playing a wide range of roles and building an audience, right? Surely The Game Plan will make him a commodity and give him the freedom to branch out. Though, he better double check and read through the fine print of the contract he signed with Disney. Next thing you know he’ll be starring in updated Disney properties like The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes or Escape to Witch Mountain.
(Note: Game Plan director Andy Fickman and The Rock are reuniting for an updated version of Escape to Witch Mountain.)
Uh oh.
