Recap of the WWE Championship situation. Yes, the RAW story now means we don’t need to see a recap of whatever happened on last week’s SmackDown. Looks like they’re keeping the belt design, sadly. Oh well.
Batista opens us up and a video for Punjabi Prison plays. Batista tells us it’s been five years since he made his debut in WWE – that went quick. Batista hypes his title defence against Khali at No Mercy – cue screaming Indian on the titantron, with his hair slicked back. The only words I understand by Khali is “this Sunday”. Runjin Singh says that people lose their sanity and will to live in the Punjabi Prison.
Tonight: Rey Mysterio vs. The Great Khali
Commercials.
Opening Match: Chuck Palumbo w/ Michelle McCool vs. Ace Steel
Welcome to prime time, Steel. Usual squash; Palumbo ends it with the Full Throttle
Winner: Chuck Palumbo
Post match, Chris Masters attacks and puts Palumbo in the Masterlock. -Five out of Ten.
Commercials.
Big Daddy V promo. Again. Looks like I’d better get used to recapping Big Daddy V squashes soon.
Second Match: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble
Lock up and Noble takes Yang down for a no count. Noble works the wrist but Yang gets a nice flip and turns it into a arm drag. Noble with a snap suplex, followed by a sleeper hold. Enziguri by Yang. I missed most of this because of a phone call, but what I saw was good. Noble wins with the double knee gutbuster.
Winner: Jamie Noble
Commercials.
MVP and Matt Hardy make their entrances, and MVP suggests a challenge between the two of them for their upcoming title defence: a push up contest. The first person whose chest touches the canvas is the loser. Porter, of course, delays. They get over 30, trash talking the entire time – classic. Porter knocks Hardy’s arm and wins.
Third Contest: WWE Tag Team Championship: Montel Vontavious Porter and Matt Hardy (Champions) vs. Deuce and Domino w/ Cherry
Domino and Hardy start, but Porter is in quickly. Porter with a front facelock but Domino gets to the ropes. Domino off the ropes into a series of arm drags by Porter. Hardy tagged in. Domino backs Hardy into the challenger’s corner, and Deuce is tagged in. Deuce with a clothesline in the corner for a two count. Deuce runs into a high boot by Hardy; Hardy gets a yodel elbow to the back of Deuce’s neck. Hardy tries for the Twist of Fate but Domino goes for a clothesline – Hardy ducks and Porter pulls the top rope down! Porter with a ballin’ elbow drop to Domino off the apron! Nice parody / emulation of Hardy’s yodel elbow drop.
Commercials.
We’re back and Deuce has Hardy in a facelock. Domino is tagged in; Deuce and Domino nail a pair of clotheslines to Hardy. Deuce is back in and he hits Hardy with a scoop slam. Knee drop gets Deuce a two count over Hardy. Porter gets tagged in; Porter with rights. Porter misses a clothesline and Deuce comes off the ropes into the overhead belly to belly by Porter. Drop toe hold by Porter; Porter goes to the ropes but Domino pulls the top rope down. Domino is tagged in; he comes in with a double axe handle off the rope to Porter. Backbreaker submission by Domino on Porter. Deuce in with a dramatic fist drop to Porter. Deuce misses another fist drop attempt, and Domino stops Porter tagging out to Hardy. Domino covers Porter for a two count. Deuce works the arm of Porter before sending his knee into the spine of Porter; Deuce then gets a full nelson variation. Porter escapes the full nelson by stomping the foot, but Deuce stops Porter from tagging out. Deuce works the back for a two count over Porter. Deuce gets a boston crab on Porter.
Deuce looks to go for a suplex or DDT on Porter, but Porter turns it into a small package for a two count! Porter tags out to Hardy, but Domino is right on Hardy. Hardy with a crossbody to Domino. Hardy with a clothesline bulldog to Domino for a two count. Hardy goes for the Side Effect but Domino escapes – Hardy gets Domino in a school boy for a two count. Side Effect on Deuce! Domino gets ready to cheap shot Hardy with his belt, but Porter low blows Domino and Hardy hits Domino with the Twist of Fate for the three count!
Winners and Still Champions: Matt Hardy and Montel Vontavious Porter
Porter was in there for too long and the hot tag bit didn’t go long enough. But outside of that this was great work, which is becoming the usual expectation when Hardy and Porter are in the ring at the same time. The chemistry between Hardy and Porter is great; Deuce doesn’t look good in there with them, at least certainly nowhere near as good as Domino. Seven out of Ten. While Hardy and Porter are making their way backstage, Kane’s pyros explode and he makes his way out to the ring.
Commercials.
Fourth Contest: Kane vs. Kenny Dykstra w/ Victoria
We don’t even get an entrance for Dykstra; instead we just get Kane beating the tar out of him. Surprisingly, Dykstra gets some offence in, but I’m not going to pay too much attention to it. Kane with a snapmare and dropkick to Dykstra for a two count. Dykstra with a dropkick to Kane. Dykstra falls behind Kane and hooks the leg; dropkick to Kane for a two count. Dykstra with a front facelock but Kane throws him off. Kane with clotheslines in the corner, and a side slam to Dykstra follows up. Kane goes up top and connects with the flying clothesline! Chokeslam ends it.
Winner: Kane
Even though Dykstra didn’t get an entrance, which usually means my attention just turns off, this match was better than I thought it would be. I’d like to see a program between these two. Four out of Ten.
Commercials.
Recap of the heart attack.
Krissy Vaine .. I think … is backstage talking to Vickie Guerrero. There’s actuall a picture of Stephanie McMahon from her old GM days up there – and one of Linda, too! Porter and Hardy make their way in. Porter suggests Hardy vs. Undertaker in payback from Porter vs. Kane. Vickie announces Undertaker and Kane vs. Hardy and Porter. Hardy isn’t happy, and Vickie gets the line of the segment; “You can do now”.
Footage of the Cena injury. Now that’s Bobby Lashly AND John Cena which Kennedy has had a hand in, at least kayfabe, taking out.
Tale of the tape between Mysterio and Khali.
Commercials.
Fifth: Jesse and Festus vs. Jobber Fodder
Jesse is a bit like a calmed down Steve Irwin, don’t you think? The bell rings and, Jesse wasn’t lying, Festus kicks some ass. Thank god – I was a bit worried that he’d be a drooling moron during the matches. Jesse with a few monkey flips. Jesse with a nice headscissor facebuster. Jesse gets a two count from a sunset flip. Jobber 2 trips Jesse, and team cannon fodder gets some offence in. Festus is tagged in; big scoop slam to the fodder. The other fodder gets dumped outside by Festus. Choke toss by Festus, and a big boot follows. Nice gutbuster by Festus ends this – and his face instantly turns back to normal.
Winner: Jesse and Festus
Okay, I’m going to enjoy these two. -Two out of Ten.
Up next: Mysterio vs. Khali
Commercials.
Cole and JBL run down the No Mercy card. Still unsure whether or not I’ll buy it.
Recap of Khali destroying Mysterio.
Rey Mysterio makes his entrance.
Commercials.
Main Event: Rey Mysterio vs. The Great Khali
Mysterio avoids Khali to start, getting the occasional shot in on Khali. Khali shoves Mysterio down but Mysterio gets dropkicks to the knee of Khali. Khali clotheslines Mysterio down. Khali pushes his foot down on the head of Mysterio. Khali whips Mysterio into the corner, and Mysterio falls down to the canvas hard. Back hand chop by Khali. Khali gets the shoulder claw, but Mysterio gets to the ropes. Mysterio fights away at the abs of Khali, but Khali kicks Mysterio outside. Khali goes outside and tries for the chop, Mysterio moves and Khali hits the ring steps! Mysterio gets a baseball slide. Khali tries to get back in the ring but Mysterio nails a 619! Mysterio goes up top and looks to go for the seated senton to the outside, but Finlay rolls in the ring and gets hit with the Seated Senton! The bell rings, and Mysterio wins by disqualification.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Khali gets Mysterio in the vice grip but Batista makes the save. Spear on Khali. Batista grabs a chair from outside and hits Khali across the back with it! SmackDown fades out with Batista checking on Mysterio. Just as we were getting somewhere with this match, they decide to go ahead and end it? One out of Ten.
The Inside Pulse
Chuck Palumbo defeats Ace Steel: -5/10
Jamie Noble defeats Jimmy Wang Yang: Not Rated
MVP and Matt Hardy defeat Deuce and Domino: 7/10
Kane defeats Kenny Dykstra: 4/10
Jesse and Festus defeat Cannon Jobber Fodder: -2/10
Rey Mysterio defeats The Great Khali: 1/10
SmackDown 05/01/07: 5/50
Not exactly the hard sell for No Mercy, but it looks like they know the real sell is going to be the mystery main event. As usual, Matt Hardy and Montel Vontavious Porter stole the show, with the rest just seeming to be filler. And that’s pretty much all I’m going to say on this week’s show. Until next week!
