Jon Kirschner: First off, thank you for taking time out of your schedule for having an interview with Inside Pulse.
Jon Kirschner: Congratulations on having such a great 2007. You won the “Rey De Voladores” and “Young Lions Cup Tournament” over in CHIKARA, held the IWA-MS Title longer than anyone ever has, and did battle with Claudio Castagnoli and Mike Quackenbush in the finals of this year’s TPI. You are quickly receiving a lot of positive feedback from the internet community. Any thoughts or comments?
Chuck Taylor: I also had a 3.0 last semester and made out with two fat chicks at parties.
CT: Actually, this year has been fun, I’ve travelled a lot and put too many miles on my car, but its fun.
JK: More miles and more pounds, is that how you role?
CT: I wear my ability to woo chubbies like a badge of honor. But driving sucks
JK: I got the same thing with the woo-ing of the chubs. And yeah, driving does suck. This leads me to the next question. If you were given a call from Pro Wrestling Guerrilla to do a weekend of shows, would you consider driving over there? The shows on the west coast don’t have too many children, so if you were to go over there, would we see a more serious side of Chuck Taylor?
CT: I’d love to wrestle at PWG, so tell one of those guys book me. Contrary to popular belief, I was actually trained to wrestle and I can do flips and stupid shit like that. If I went there I would salute their fans for practicing safe sex or at least being pro-choice, both of which I am a fan.
JK: I knew there was a reason you were in Rey De Voladores. You said you were going to go through the whole tournament without doing a flip. You did a pretty good job, up until the last match where you did an amazing looking moonsault.
CT: That was a shitty moonsault, I didn’t jump at all because it had been a while and I didn’t want to miss him
JK: Right on. Back on the East Coast, it’s like heaven for Chuck Taylor. Kids are everywhere. Some would say you threaten kids too often. What do you think of that? What would you do if an irate parent came after you, or a lawsuit was filed?
CT: I don’t think it’s illegal to yell at children, my senile Grandmother has been doing it for years. I had a guy in Nashville pull a knife once, and then my partner grabbed a security guard, who proceeded to pull another knife. It was mayhem. I’m pretty sure both would-be-assassins were had a touch of the downs though.
JK: Man, you don’t mess with New Jack’s kids. But yeah, with the whole Halloween Haunted Trails coming up now I see where you are coming from. As long as you don’t touch the kid and just try and scare him, it’s all in good fun. For you. Not the kid.
JK: What do you think of WWE, TNA, and RoH’s current products? Which would you work for if you could?
CT: I bet WWE has a bunch of money, but they don’t give it to skinny kids with love handles. Ring of Honor hates me I’m told. TNA probably has money too, but again the skinny love handles argument. Send me money to buy steroids
JK: You’ll get some media then. And that’s all TNA cares about. If you are on the news, then you can get a TNA Contract. Just look at Pacman Jones.
JK: You have achieved so much in 2007. What was the biggest honor this year: Winning the 5th Annual Young Lions Cup Tournament, being crowned Rey De Voladores, winning the IWA Lightweight Title, Women’s Title, or the IWA-MS World Title?
CT: The IWA World title was cool, because I used to watch IWA, and never thought I’d get into the company, much less win the belt. The Young Lions Cup was cool too, because it was a tournament and I actually got the cup and it was cool looking and I drank beer out of it playing “hockey” (which is a rad-ass drinking game my friend Jake taught me) and got really drunk and fell down the steps.
JK: How did you get started, who trained you and taught you what specifically? Did you have any major influences?
CT: I started training at 15 in Hardin, KY under Brandon Walker. It was tough, and made me limp a lot in high school. I’ve also had seminars and shit like that with 2 Cold Scorpio and Chris Hero and Mike Quackenbush at the Chikara Wrestle Factory. Which is where everyone should go to get trained. I really liked Chris Jericho when I was younger, and still do. Bret Hart was my favorite when I was a kid, and I liked the Ultimate Warrior when I was really young. He’s the guy I pattern my style after.
JK: I’ve been thinking myself about heading over to the CHIKARA Wrestle Factory. Is there any advice you have for people who are trying to get in the business?
CT: Don’t put pictures of you doing backyard wrestling on your myspace, because I’ll probably deny you. Don’t put crappy videos of your fed on Youtube. Work out, be athletic. Go to Chikara Wrestle Factory. I should tell people not to wrestle because then I’ll get more bookings.
JK: Getting more bookings equals more money, which leads to more power. When I say power I’m speaking of steroids of course.
CT: I eat peanut butter and jelly and Ramen noodles. That’s why I’m strong
JK: Right on. Steroids are bad kids, don’t take them.
JK: But speaking of bookings, there was a possibility of you getting one less booking, and more importantly, a possibility of IWA-MS going under. How were you feeling throughout the week? What was your initial reaction when you heard that there was a chance of them going out of business? I’m sure you were more than happy when you got the news about them being able to continue.
CT: Yeah, I was happy. There aren’t really any good shows with exposure within like 5 hours of my house. IWA is the closest thing to me, and I’ve got to wrestle some good dudes there. I don’t want to have to drive 14 hours for good shows.
JK: What would you consider your best match and why?
CT: The TPI finals weren’t a super great ROH MOVEZ festival, but the fans reaction at the end when Quack won was really cool. But that wasn’t really about me. I think the finals of the Young Lions Cup V with myself and Ricochet was one of my better ones. But most of my matches suck.
JK: I don’t agree with you. I watch wrestling to be entertained, and you are one of the most entertaining wrestlers in the business. And you are a good wrestler.
JK: You made a good amount of children cry. Out of all the kids you scared, which one was your favorite?
CT: The one in Alabama after my match with Rainman was fun, because not only did I make three kids cry, but I feared for my life because there was a guy with Lt. Dan legs in the crowd that probably could of killed me because he was half cyborg. You can see that on youtube. (JK adds: Here it is.)
JK: Was that the one with the rather large Mom yelling at you?
CT: Yeah, she had a shirt that said something about Angel’s on it. It was ironic because God obviously hates her
JK: Oh, for sure. I couldn’t have summed it up better.
JK: If you could have a toy made of you or appear in a video game, which would you prefer?
CT: Both would rock, and I’ve had both that were fan made, but I think the action figure would be cooler for showing my friends in passing, but the video game would be cooler for playing with. Because only fags play with toys.
JK: Do you play video games?
CT: Way too damn much
JK: Which game do you pop in the most? I tend to play Madden 2008 a lot. Even though it’s really the same game every year.
CT: I’ve been playing Halo 3, because I got it later than the cool kids. I want to get the Orange Box, because Half Life 2 was the best game I’ve ever played. I just beat BioShock and it was awesome. I still play Gears of War every now and then. I almost bought Guitar Hero 3 last night, but I’m broke.
CT: Madden lost its fun after about 1997.
JK: Yeah. It’s the same thing, and EA bought out NFL’s License so there’s no good alternatives. Guitar Hero 3 is the best game I’ve played in a while, and the best in the series. The song list is crazy good.
JK: You gotta buy it as soon as you can.
CT: It has the Fall of Troy, I thought that was cool.
JK: They have a lot of new songs. Like Killswitch Engage’s My Curse, a Dragon Force Song, and a good Slipknot song.
CT: The last one had Every Time I Die
CT: That was cool. I saw them in Memphis and the guitarist popped for my CZW shirt, and told me he had a Necro Butcher T-shirt in his car that he made himself.
JK: That’s cool. Only concerts I’ve been to are a few 311 Shows, pretty badass.
JK: But yeah, the video game thing. I saw you playing Metal Gear in your Training Montage Video on YouTube. What gave you the idea of doing that?
CT: I think I had just watched Rocky, and needed something to do for my TV production class.
CT: But I don’t really work out a lot, so I thought I would show how things really were for me
JK: Yeah, that video made me laugh so hard for a day. The robe and the wheelchair were the perfect touch to your laziness.
JK: What are you currently studying in school? Have you ever been recognized in public? (How did it go?)
CT: I’m an Electronic Media major. It sucks. Murray State University is cool and all, but people shouldn’t go to college. I never get recognized. No one knows me
JK: Yeah, I’m going to be attempting to balance school and wrestling in a few months. Was it difficult for you to adjust to that lifestyle, or did you get used to it fast.
CT: No, it sucks. I have to skip classes to drive and fly places. I don’t have time to do homework. There’s not a good way to balance, you just end up hating your life.
CT: That’s why I do meth
JK: Meth helps it balance out a bit? Or just survive.
CT: I just love meth
JK: Fair enough. Can’t argue with that.
JK: Wanna do some Word Association?
CT: Do it
JK: Helios
CT: Ricochet’s cheating ass
JK: Incoherence
CT: Cheating retards
JK: Ian Rotten
CT: Gives me money
JK: Children
CT: Our future
JK: Super Dragon
CT: I only met him once. He didn’t talk to me
JK: Chris Hero
CT: A wonderful man. Has a comfortable couch
JK: Triple H
CT: On the cover of the new PWI that has a cute little picture of me in the Indy section
JK: Tim Donst
CT: AMERICA!
CT: prepare for the Tim Donst song by me and Fire Ant
JK: That would be fantastic.
JK: And Last but not least, Chuck Taylor
CT: Hung like a moose, and hates xOMGx more than any person ever.
CT: Have you ever heard of xOMGx
CT: He’s bad
JK: Green mask?
CT: Yeah
CT: No tan, no gear.
CT: Pretty worthless
JK: I still need to see xOMGx wrestle. He looks like a funny guy.
JK: But worthless nonetheless?
CT: Yeah. He only gets booked because he’s Drake Younger’s friend
JK: Understandable. Drake Younger is quite the wrestler. You and Drake are friends, was it cool to wrestle him at Maximum Overdraft?
CT: I hate him. He gets too excited and does spit-takes. Like in movies. But it’s not as funny when he spits Dr. Pepper on you at Cici’s Pizza
CT: And I pinned him with one hand at Chikara
CT: He’s a bum
JK: I wish there was a Cici’s Pizza near me. Jersey Sucks. Could you elaborate on the Dr. Pepper story?
CT: He laughed at something that probably wasn’t that funny, because I bet xOMGx said it, and spit Dr. Pepper all over like 5 people.
CT: He’s an ass
JK: Nice. I ran out of questions a while ago, I’ve just been running on random questions for quite some time. Wanna keep going or conclude it with plugs?
CT: Whatever you wanna do. I’m watching Wrestlemania XV and cooking a frozen pizza
JK: Celeste Pizza?
CT: I think its Red Baron
JK: Red Baron is the bomb diggity. That and Digorno. But Digorno is too expensive.
JK: Like… 5 Dollars a pop.
CT: Stuff Crust Digorno is the Cat’s Ass, but it is like the same price as other real pizza
JK: It’s worth it though. The other place (Pizza Hut) kills the stomach. (I realize we’re talking about Pizza)
JK: Thank you Chuck Taylor for taking time out of your day to have an interview with us. Is there any merchandise or websites you would like to plug?
CT: Buy my T-Shirts, I have two. They’re both rockin’. Buy my DVD’s. I might actually get them some day. Buy me Smarties. They’re tasty. I have trading cards. They’re cool. Buy CHIKARA DVDs. They’re the best. IWA-MS DVDs are fun too. Buy xOMGx’s T-Shirt.Support your local bar. Make out with fat chicks. Don’t go to church. That’s about all. You can get my shirts on the MySpace page that my friend Dustin runs. myspace.com/dustinhatesyou. He has pictures of me. It’s weird. But his girlfriend is mad hot.
